Rapport in psychology is a special state of specific contact between people, the achievement of which is characterized by a high degree of trust and mutual understanding. It can be defined by the establishment of close relationships based on emotional and intellectual community. People united by rapport are on the same wavelength and moving in the same direction.
Sometimes in communities such a connection is formed naturally during long-term communication of one circle of people. But there are also special ways to establish rapport that help you influence people and things. They help make the other person want to trust and follow you.
Rapport can be used in different ways: for the common good or to achieve personal goals. Moreover, in the latter case, if they do not harm another person, there is nothing wrong with using rapport. It only helps speed up communication to a more productive level.
Origin of the term
It is believed that the term was introduced by two scientists: Vladimir Mikhailovich Bekhterev and Friedrich Anton Mesmer.
The term was originally used in physics in the 18th century, from where it was borrowed. The word itself is of French origin and means “to return.” The first meaning of the term differed from the modern one, denoting contact between several people, which resulted in a surge of fluids, which, in turn, helped heal the body and restore strength.
Attunement with your partner
How it works? Verbal and emotional interaction consists of the following:
- one of the participants in the contact initiates it at a deep level;
- the second responds to him intuitively, that is, connects to the interaction;
- the first one feels the feedback and starts a dialogue;
- the second one is included in the dialogue.
That is, rapport is the return of a sent signal by the addressee. Below we will consider that the same model can have different forms of expression.
Example 1
Natasha stands in front of a display case with diapers and chooses the right ones. An unfamiliar woman (Lena) approaches her and asks the age and weight of the baby. Natasha answers, a smile appears when she remembers her beloved baby. Lena sees this smile and shares Natasha’s feelings, because she also loves her baby.
The young mothers spontaneously but happily entered into the conversation. After shopping, we went home together and, after exchanging phone numbers, agreed to go for a walk in the evenings and meet. This is how their friendship began.
Example 2
A plump and unkempt woman (Valya) stands in line at the clinic, leaning against the wall. A beautiful and graceful lady (Anastasia) flies past in high heels. Suddenly she stops near Vali, smiles charmingly and comes very close to her. Valya is embarrassed, she immediately assesses her inadequacy to this interlocutor. But Anastasia leans towards her ear and asks in a confidential whisper where the toilet is. She also demonstrates her embarrassment at the supposed awkwardness of the question. Valya calms down, her interlocutor’s trust captivates her, she says that she doesn’t know. Anastasia moved from the location of the toilet to general issues - long standing in queues, when no one could stand the urine. Valya nodded.
Anastasia continued to say that she was generally against such visits to doctors, she just needed a certificate. In general, she keeps herself in shape thanks to wonderful medications. Before Valya had time to come to her senses, she gave her a business card and told her to call, confiding in parting that she herself had lost 10 kilos in two months.
This is how a relationship began, as a result of which Anastasia made good money from sales of dietary supplements.
These and similar examples show that attunement can arise as a result of unconscious sympathy, as well as through a skillfully carried out transaction. Instead of judging people who have learned how to build rapport, we can also benefit from this knowledge. But the question of what the experience we gain will serve is on the conscience of the one who makes the choice between the benefit for everyone and self-interest to the detriment of others.
Areas of application
Currently, the term “rapport” is used in psychology, psychoanalysis, hypnosis, and NLP. These areas of knowledge are associated with the restoration and harmonization of a person’s mental state. Rapport in psychology is the establishment of such contact between people in which they are able to influence each other’s behavior.
Rapport leads to different forms of influence. Thus, in the process of hypnosis, this phenomenon has a unidirectional effect, when the specialist dominates the patient. Psychoanalysis involves two-way contact, during which the psychoanalyst helps the patient solve his problems. The use of rapport in NLP is one of the methods of manipulation, when one partner deliberately creates conditions for establishing trust on the part of the other in order to achieve their own goals.
A striking example of the phenomenon can be called the story “Olesya” by A. I. Kuprin, in which a girl copies her partner’s step, tuning in with him on the same wavelength. The moment contact is made, she stumbles. Her interlocutor stumbles after her. This phenomenon is called rapport in psychology.
Adoption
When using this method, a special role is played by facial expression, tone of voice, manner of speaking, and physical distance between people. The face should show interest in the partner, his problems, and interest in helping. The facial expression should be sincere and open, the tone of voice should be soft and sympathetic. The volume of the voice should correspond to a confidential, calm conversation, without loud notes with attempts at coercion. The distance between partners is considered optimal for achieving friendly interaction when it is slightly greater than arm's length.
Every little detail in the interlocutor’s posture, the position of his hands, and gestures will be important here. All details should express a friendly attitude and a sincere desire to help. In a situation where, as the distance between the interlocutors decreases, the partner moves away, one should not be persistent. With patient use of the remaining elements, the result will be achieved.
Adjustment through postures and gestures
The method is based on experiments by scientists in which subjects argued among themselves while in identical or mirror positions. As a result, it was concluded that it is difficult for people to argue with someone who is in the same position. Based on this conclusion, a method of physiological adjustment to the interlocutor has been developed, in which the partner’s actions are recorded and copied directly or mirrored.
The main rule here is natural behavior so that the interlocutor does not take such behavior as a mockery and does not move away even more. Those starting to master the technique are advised to start using mirror copying as it is less noticeable. You should copy basic movements, such as head tilt, volume and tone of voice, gradually adding smaller ones. After mastering these points, they move on to achieving rapport in breathing. The technique is considered quite complex, suggesting that you adapt to the breathing rhythm of your interlocutor, thereby entering into resonance with him.
Recommendations
Listen
Be sure to study the article about active listening, so it will be easier for you to conduct a dialogue that encourages intimacy and trust, even just in personal relationships. With this technique, you will show your interlocutor that you hear him, understand him, notice that you are next to him and are included in the interaction process.
Notice the similarities
The fear of loneliness is existential, that is, it is present in every person in this world, even those who avoid people, closing themselves off from them; this is only a reaction to psychological trauma. Therefore, intimacy with someone causes wild horror because there is a risk of experiencing unbearable pain again.
So, similarity in at least some way with an unfamiliar person helps to reduce anxiety, it seems to unite, instantly forming the much-desired rapport. You just need to look closely, listen, and then, having discovered something in common, focus on it.
For example, you can combine and generalize: “We women are too sensitive,” “We, provincials, sometimes have a hard time achieving our goals,” and so on. That is, as you may have noticed, it is quite possible to find similarities with absolutely any person on the planet.
Follow
During a conversation, always pay attention to the interlocutor's breathing, intonation, rate of speech and even skin color. It will be difficult to do this at the same time, so arrange gradual training for yourself.
Let’s say today we focus on timbre, and tomorrow we pay attention to the tone of our voice. This way, over time, you will be able to unconsciously receive the necessary information.
Gain experience
You can look closely and listen not only by being an active participant in the conversation, you can also practice in public transport, crowded places, even just watching actors play, preferably in films that have won an Oscar. This way you will gain experience, not just a theory from books or articles, but formed on your own observations and conclusions.
Read
Read as much as possible, so your brain will always be in good shape, which means you will be able to react quickly and make decisions in a timely manner. And the article “Top 10 best books about nonverbal communication that are worth reading” will be just right.
Adjustment through speech and thinking
The method of adjustment through thinking is the most difficult, but the result of this technique is superior to the previous ones. The contact established at the level of thinking remains stable for a long time and does not depend on distance. First of all, the technique requires analyzing the interlocutor and determining his thinking style. There are three types of the latter: auditory, visual and tactile.
To determine this, speech analysis is used for the presence of markers - words that characterize the type of thinking. Thus, the use of words associated with sound speaks of the first type. The use of visual words in speech (for example, bright/brilliant prospects) indicates the same type of thinking. Accordingly, a person with tactile thinking uses words that characterize sensations (for example, firmly confident). Further technique comes down to adapting your speech to the thinking of your interlocutor, introducing the same notes.
In addition to the listed techniques, the following methods of rapport in psychology are distinguished:
- Adjustment on neurological levels, including tuning into the wave of the interlocutor’s values, beliefs, identity and goals.
- Personal adjustment based on the acceptance of the social role of the interlocutor.
- Metaphorical adjustment.
Metaphorical method
The metaphorical method is very interesting and unusual. He offers one of the metaphors: relative, bridge and lotus. The essence of the method with the “relative” metaphor is to imagine the interlocutor in the role of a close relative and communicate with him in the same way. Taking on the role of a relative will not allow insincerity and pretense to appear, building trust and emotional contact with the interlocutor.
The “bridge” metaphor is expressed in the visualization of a beautiful bridge between the chests of the interlocutors. Along this bridge, during visualization, you should imagine how the partners move towards each other and have a friendly conversation.
The lotus is also associated with visualization. The flower is represented as blooming in the chest and enveloping all interlocutors with its fragrance.
In addition to all of the above, there are various mixed models that affect certain qualities of the interlocutor and copy them in the behavior of the partner to achieve the goal.
Management: how to manage the condition of others
Having created a conscious rapport with a person through adjustment, that is, one “I” for two, you become able to direct the person where you need him to go. You can gradually change a person’s state and behavior and lead him or her. Why would that be so? This is because the other person, having entered a comfortable state of rapport with you, will want to maintain it. In this regard, if you begin to change your behavior, the person will most likely follow you.
Cynical, but typical: the main purpose of rapport is to lead a person along.
It's simple: this is how he adapts to that large audience whose views and principles he actually wants to change. He was able to create rapport and lead. After all, as we remember, to change the system, you need to be in it
.
Rapport relaxes, reduces vigilance: you no longer need to defend yourself, because “your” person is next to you. It is those people with whom we develop this trust that are able to strongly influence us, our thoughts and actions.
Of course, many manipulators and deceivers take advantage of this. I can’t count how often people lent huge sums of money and transferred their apartments to people they barely knew. But what can you do, a knife can also be used in different ways.
Sources
- https://qvilon.ru/psihologiya/rapport-v-psihologii.html
- https://pickup-artist.ru/rapport/
- https://depressio.ru/slovar-terminov/129-rapport.html
- https://fb.ru/article/143166/znachenie-slov-raport—eto
- https://znachenie-slova.ru/%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%82%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B0%D1%82 %D1%8C
- https://alunika.com/rapport-i-podstrojka-v-nlp-kak-stat-tem-komu-doveryayut/
Purposes of using rapport
The importance of rapport in psychology is quite great, since friendly emotional contact largely influences human behavior.
Not everyone will want to become psychoanalysts, who need rapport from a professional point of view. But this phenomenon helps not only in psychology, but also in any other field that involves interaction with people.
If a person does not want to be a manipulator, then one should not refuse to know the details of establishing rapport, because no one guarantees that others will not want to make him an object of manipulation. Knowledge of the mechanisms will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s intentions in time.
Rapport in psychology is also used for a person to work with himself, to accept himself, to realize his own goals. In a situation of low self-esteem and a conflictual attitude towards the world, it is advised to start a metaphorical rapport in relation to yourself and the world, thus tuning into a feeling of unity with everything around you.
Definition of the concept
A report is a written document containing an official message (report) from a subordinate to a superior. It can also be orally. In this interpretation, this term is mostly used in military affairs during a report to commanders (superiors) on the implementation of undertaken activities, as well as during the performance of official duties. In other words, a report is a report on work performed or an appeal to a higher rank. It should be noted that there are derivatives of this term. For example, report. That is, to report the current situation.
According to the maritime dictionary, a report is a document that is submitted to the customs authorities of the country of arrival by an agent or the shipowner himself upon the ship’s arrival at the port. It contains detailed information about the cargo, passengers, the last place of unloading and (or) loading of passengers and cargo.
