Egocentrism: what is it in simple words? 8 ways to overcome

Egocentrism is a person’s inability or inability to take, understand, or represent someone else’s position; perception of one's opinion as the only correct one. This is not synonymous with selfishness, but sometimes it can be its extreme form, the next stage. The main difference between egoism and egocentrism is that the egoist represents other people, but ignores their interests; the egocentric does not imagine and does not recognize the very fact of other people, there is only him.

At the same time, egocentrism can be a feature of age or a consequence of psychological pathologies. Let's take a closer look at what egocentrism is and how to get rid of it.

Egocentrism in simple words

This is a philosophy of life and a person’s worldview, the essence of which is to focus entirely on one’s interests, feelings, goals, desires and not respect the boundaries of other people.

Ego. This is the perception of the world only from your point of view.

Essentially it is accepting yourself as a comparison model.

There is only one correct point of view - mine. The only correct way of life is mine. There is only one correct model of behavior, whose? As you might have guessed - mine! Sound familiar?

This problem is age-old and occurs everywhere in different contexts. An adult considers himself a model for children, a European for representatives of another culture, inevitably exalting himself.

If I consider myself an ideal, then I consider everyone I compare with myself to be imperfect copies of myself. For example, he is the same as me, but somewhat worse/much worse. That is, he doesn’t yet have what I have. For example, he is not smart enough to understand that I am right.

The fact that to one degree or another each of us can be called self-centered is perhaps a fact. For some, this is a natural form of behavior, while for others it is associated with one specific situation.

How to deal with other people's egocentrism?

No way! Just isolate yourself. We cannot change other people, but we are fully responsible for our own transformations. If you are often accused of egocentrism or you yourself feel that this is typical for you, make it a rule to track these points and test the hypothesis for strength.

Causes

Egocentrism begins to form in childhood, when parents tell the child how exceptional and special he is, fulfill all his whims and indulge in manipulation.
Gradually, the baby’s consciousness works only to satisfy its own needs. After all, he is an exceptional person.
A disdainful attitude towards the problems and needs of other people is formed.
Growing up, such a person still expects that everyone will live and act based on his desires. Has inflated self-esteem, which distorts reality.

Types of egocentrism

Informative. It represents perception and thinking.
Moral. Characterizes the inability to grasp the moral basis of human actions.
Communicative. A person does not perceive information, violates its subtext, and sometimes does not even monitor its authenticity.

A message for self-centered people

I'm sure some of you reading this article will see similar behaviors in your lives and in yourself personally. But this article is not intended to insult you or imply that you are not a decent person. We all deserve the same love and respect, regardless of our annoying behavior. And we can all learn from our mistakes and learn that we need to be considerate and empathetic to other people and not just think about ourselves.

I hope that this article will encourage many people to introspect. Which in turn will lead to the understanding that we should all be more loyal and respectful towards other people. And understand that our behavior affects people close to us. So work on yourself and become better.

Where do you most often encounter self-centered people?

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How to recognize egocentrism?

Interference with communication. A self-centered person does not understand how to analyze another person's body language or emotional state. “Does not see”, does not understand the views and feelings of other people.
Diffidence. Although self-centered behavior is arrogant and prideful, the root of the problem is often low self-esteem. Egocentric behavior is an attempt to compensate for low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.
Exaggeration . He exaggerates his skills and achievements to gain recognition. He makes fun of other people, considering himself more talented than he is, not only in the eyes of others, but also in his own. Very often he criticizes a person without even allowing him to express himself - fearing competition from them.
Attention and perfection. Such a person always tries to be the center of attention. He often tries to convince himself and others that he is the best and most important of them all. As a result, an egocentric person uses people for personal gain, for example, to “make friends” or “love” for caring, attention and respect for a partner.
Comparison. Because he is accompanied by a feeling of inferiority, a self-centered person compulsively compares himself with other people who do something worse than him, this makes him feel better compared to others.
Super sensitivity. An egocentric person is very sensitive and vulnerable, but tries not to show it to people. He very quickly feels rejected, offended and humiliated. That is why he often puts on a “mask” of rigidity, impartiality and coldness.

Annoying behavior of a self-centered person

Reckless driving at high speeds without regard for other people. Driving as if the man or woman owned the road. They refuse to wait, to yield, to slow down, and quite often show rage by using the car horn.
He makes trivial complaints or threats to call the manager if they don't like something in the store.
Turns any conversation into a story about yourself, regardless of the topic.
Shows loud verbal irritation while waiting in line.
Expresses physical and emotional tantrums or verbal bombast.
Ignores other people's emotions.
Does not apologize or regret that he was wrong or offended someone.
Exhibits arrogant behavior with a need to be right.
Is too critical of other people.

When we focus only on ourselves, our contacts with people are reduced. As our problems and concerns become more significant to us. But when we think more about friends and loved ones, our world expands as a result.

What to do if you discover this quality in yourself?

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. In any relationship - personal, business, friendship - ask the question: “How would I behave if they did this to me, and how would I feel?”
Don't do what isn't asked. There is no need to answer questions that are not asked of you. Don't give advice you haven't been asked for.
Don't divide everything into black and white. Try to see more and more shades in events, people, traits. Notice the advantages and disadvantages in relation to everything that surrounds you, and to yourself. And try to give this a detailed description - not just I like it/don’t like it, but what exactly, why, for what. Let your opinion become more descriptive than evaluative.
Praise others. Try to see the merits of other people, and do not hesitate to praise them for this.

This is more of a behavioral recommendation. But most importantly, if you want to truly change, if you want to look at the world differently, you need to work on self-esteem. After all, the basis of egocentrism is precisely low self-esteem. This work is difficult, you may need the help of a psychologist. But the results are worth it.

How to communicate with an egocentric person?

But what to do if the egocentric is the person with whom you communicate?

Here are some recommendations that will help reduce, prevent or smooth out conflict situations and misunderstandings:

You should not openly doubt the uniqueness of the egocentric; try not to criticize him. Such behavior will only anger him. He is very vulnerable and takes criticism as a blow. An egocentric person needs constant praise - so be sure to praise him, but only for the task.
Be honest about how you feel about his behavior. Speak calmly, do not use accusatory language. A thinking person will hear your words and reconsider his behavior.
Create an atmosphere of trust and a sense of security. As we have already said, egocentrism often hides a feeling of inferiority, abandonment, rejection, and alienation. Help the egocentric understand that you can be trusted and that you love him not only for his merits, but for what he is.
Be understanding of his opinion, but don’t forget to express yours. Listen carefully to his option, point out its importance and value, but also express your opinion and ask to make a decision together.

Afterword

Every person is unique. That's the beauty of it. We complement each other, allow each other to grow, and sometimes entertain each other. To get rid of egocentrism, it is important to learn to calmly, and when asked, express your point of view. But at the same time, recognize the right of another person to have a different opinion, and also be able to calmly listen to him. Living in a world of copies is boring.

Thus, egocentrism is a cult of personality, supported by the same personality. Its prerequisites may be family upbringing of the “family idol” type, and the status of the only or disliked child in the family, and selfishness, and permissiveness, and high status, and underdeveloped personality. But it is possible to fight egocentrism. Another question: will the egocentric himself want this? If so, it won’t be easy for him, but the changes are real. Otherwise, nothing will work.

Egoism and egocentrism: what's the difference?

We must keep in mind that selfishness has both positive and negative sides. Egocentrism is only negative.

Comparison criteria	Egoist	Egotist
Opportunity to negotiate	An egoist can understand the opponent’s benefit and compare it with his own, come to some kind of decision, consensus, and generally agree on cooperation on mutually beneficial terms.	It is almost impossible to come to an agreement with an egocentric person. He will be in a posture, offended, in a state of victim, because he puts his problem and interests on a pedestal, and does not care about the needs of others.
Attitude towards criticism	An egoist may be offended when he hears criticism, but he can also hear reasonable things with which he agrees and take them into account. Most often, criticism helps him achieve better results, he takes it into account.	An egocentric person cannot tolerate criticism. He will ascend with his resentment to a cloud and will never be the first to approach the world with a critic. How can one criticize such a divine, unearthly being? Who gave the right anyway? He does not know how to take a blow, becomes hysterical and runs away from the battlefield. So that he has the last word.
Understanding your interests	The egoist understands that the world does not revolve around his interests. He adjusts his interests at the right time in the right place and tries to negotiate so that the result he needs is achieved.	The egocentric always turns on the infantile, stomps his foot and shouts to be given what he wants. And then he waits until they give it to him or proudly leaves the stage. He quietly waits for them to come, or crawl, ask for forgiveness and still give. Egocentric, high-level manipulator.
Conclusion	An egoist is a completely mature person who has his own interests and tries to develop at all levels.	An egocentrist is an eternal child, fixated on himself, his experiences (grievances, injustice of the world and people towards him, the state of the victim). An egocentric person can be developed intellectually, less personally and never spiritually, because for this you need to become an adult, take responsibility for your characteristics: be able to let go, accept, forgive, respect other people and yourself first of all. The most difficult thing for an egocentric person is old age, the stage in which he becomes even more withdrawn and withdraws from the world.

Egocentrism test

You have ten unfinished sentences in front of you. Complete them. At the same time, try to think as quickly as possible.

A few years ago …
In fact …
Compared …
The further...
The easiest thing is...
In a situation...
It is not true that...
There will be a time when...
Main problem …
The biggest …

Processing consists of counting the number of uses in all ten sentences of proper names derived from “I” (including “I” itself): “me”, “mine”, “mine”, etc. The norm is 1-3 mentions. If the number of mentions exceeds 6, we can speak of pronounced egocentrism.