What is a friend zone in simple terms: 10 signs

Greetings, friends!

The word “friend zone” sounds scary to anyone looking for a romantic relationship. It would seem that everything is simple: if you want to get close to someone, try to please him, don’t make gross mistakes, and everything will work out. But instead of the desired rapprochement, such tactics often lead to falling into the friend zone, from which it is extremely difficult to get out. Today we will analyze in detail what a friend zone is, what signs characterize it, whether it is possible to leave the friend zone, and how to do it.

Definition in simple words

The friend zone is a relationship format in which one is in love, and the other perceives him exclusively as a friend.

This concept is surrounded by several myths. According to the most common one, it is impossible to get out of the friend zone. Once a person falls into it, he is forever forced to be content with only the modest role of a friend.

Other legends say that in reality there is no friendship. The object of adoration sees the torment of her unlucky lover, but does not attach any importance to it, keeping it in reserve so that she can use it if something happens. Sometimes this does happen, but this is the exception rather than the rule.

Reasons for getting into this position

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There are several reasons for falling into the “friend, but no more” category:

The most common reason is the lack of physiological attraction to a partner, which arises as a result of a lack of flirting on the part of the young man. Perhaps the guy is modest by nature and doesn’t know how to flirt, but girls regard this as a lack of true interest in her as a lover.
No touching of a woman's body. It happens that a guy is so sensitive to his girlfriend that he is afraid of offending her by touching his chest or kissing her neck. Hugging and stroking in the presence of other people can be regarded by a guy as dissolute behavior and lust, so he does not allow himself to do this. However, the weaker sex understands from a man’s touch on his body that it is sexually attractive to him. It is also important for a woman that a guy hugs and kisses her in the presence of his friends - for her this is confirmation of his serious intentions.
Henpecked position. As soon as a lady begins to feel that she is the main one in the relationship, that the guy indulges her whims, and she can command him, she becomes not interested in him as a life partner. Women admire strong men. They like to feel in control. This does not mean that a man should ignore a woman’s opinion, but it is also impossible to recklessly fulfill a girl’s every whim.

Friendzone for a girl

If a representative of the fairer sex receives a refusal, it is better for her to go in search of new love, because any actions of a man will be perceived by her as humiliation. He will begin to share his most intimate things with him, talk about new hobbies and experiences about his next passion. Meanwhile, the unlucky “girlfriend” will engage in merciless self-flagellation, compare herself with every woman he has, be jealous, look for tons of shortcomings in herself and carefully cultivate new complexes.

Benefits of the Friend Zone

For the girl or guy who sent you there there are a number of obvious advantages:

You can visit entertainment venues at your expense.
You will do mental and physical work instead of your object of adoration, just to gain his favor.
The role of a “vest” in which you can always cry, because a friend (and even more so a lover) will always support and help with advice.
Gifts and pleasant surprises that every girl will like. You will give presents to your beloved to bring her joy.

Kinds

There are only two types of friend zone, which differ from each other by open or secret romantic interest:

In the first case, the one who is in love does not advertise his feelings. He remains silent and is content with the role of a friend in the hope that someday the object of his desire will notice secret signs and reciprocate. A person in the friend zone is usually afraid of ruining friendships and being ignored by his confession.
In the second case, romantic sympathies are known. One of the friends openly admits his feelings and reminds him that his lover always has an alternate airfield. If we talk about a person who keeps a lover at a distance, then he can know about his friend’s feelings or remain blissfully unaware.
There is a third option, when he guesses, but prefers to turn a blind eye to it. A frank conversation can destroy a friendship because he cannot return the feelings, but does not want to offend a loved one.

What is the friend zone in a relationship?

Although many are aware of what the friend zone means, it is perhaps worth brushing up on this topic. Perhaps you will learn something new. For example, that it comes in different types and the understanding of friendship among people of different genders has fundamental differences.

From the point of view of girls, the friend zone is a one-sided crush on the part of the guy and a favorable and condescending attitude on the part of the object of love (the girl). The “lady” is in no hurry to reciprocate, while she is quite ready to use her friend as brute force, a bodyguard, a vest for tears, a giver of gifts, a partner for sports games, a sponsor, and so on. For a man, this situation is extremely unpleasant, because the object of desire is in close proximity, but does not allow him further than the stop sign, which is installed in the most inappropriate place.

As they say, you can look with your eyes, but you cannot touch with your hands. This is real torture, especially for young people whose hormones are raging in their blood and desire is in their head. Of course, we can say that this is an excellent life experience for training self-control, which will be useful in the future. But would anyone voluntarily agree to such a test? However, there are such people. They agree to endure the “sweet torture” of friendship, in the fruitless hope of someday overcoming this enchanted boundary.

Sometimes young people don’t even realize that they have been placed in the “friend zone” and naively continue to show signs of attention, flattering themselves with fruitless hopes. There are several reasons why a girl signs up as a “friend” without a chance to rehabilitate herself:

The guy is not exciting as a potential sexual partner, “not her type”;
The girl fears for the good relationships that have developed and does not want to lose them;
You are an “alternate airfield” for her. She can put you in “conservation” until the next boyfriend brings disappointment;
There is no mutual sexual attraction between a girl and a guy and the relationship really cannot develop into something more than friendship.

If you recognize yourself in these people, simply accept the fact that your loved one cannot reciprocate and the reason is not you. It’s just nice for a girl or guy to have someone who looks after him or her, fulfills his whims, is always nearby and ready to help. Without feeling physical attraction, they experience condescending sympathy or simply use the “boyfriend” to their advantage. But this is already humiliating and unpleasant and you don’t need to endure it.

Signs

Sometimes a person does not immediately realize that he has been thrown into the friend zone. He remains in blissful ignorance and consoles himself with hopes, but signs of a dangerous situation are already making themselves felt.

You are in the friend zone if your relationship has at least one of these signs:

Your loved one calls you a great guy/great girl that someone would be very lucky to have.
He rarely touches you.
On a date, he can bring someone else with him.
You are called a friend in public.
You are rarely left alone.
You often discuss with your loved one his gentlemen/passions.
He doesn't try to look his best when he meets you.
He often consults with you about romantic relationships.
He often talks about others and such conversations make you feel painful.
He is constantly trying to set you up with someone.

Although many of these signs can safely be called obvious, people quite often do not even realize that the door has already slammed behind them, and only despair and the comforting role of a friend awaits them.

Types of Friendship Zone

Depending on the arguments given by the object of worship, there are several ways for a man or woman to end up in such a humiliating position. As a rule, people who can be useful remain in the friend zone. Anyone who allows himself to be loved understands this perfectly, and when the opportunity arises, he will not fail to take advantage of it.

Fallback option

Sometimes, while in a relationship, a guy or girl begins to notice signs of an imminent breakup. If they still break up with their significant other, they begin a relationship with someone who was previously in the friend zone. This option allows them to emerge victorious from the situation in the eyes of their former partners if they abandoned them.

It is assumed that, seeing exes with new passions, previous lovers will greatly regret breaking up the relationship.

Moral benefit

The realization that someone is in love with a person greatly pleases his pride. When guys and girls are in love, they try to fulfill any whims of their beloved. And they, in turn, due to this significantly increase their own self-esteem.

Women are flattered by male desire, and for guys this means that they are alpha males, with crowds of fans following them. In this case, things will not go further than courtship. Every attempt to move to a new level of relationship will be rejected under the most chaste pretext. This is done to elevate one’s own person in the eyes of an admirer or admirer.

Material benefit

The stereotypical thinking of society obliges a man to financially provide for all meetings and any leisure time with a lady.

Women prefer a variety of pastimes - going to the theater or cinema, restaurants and cafes. Thanks to such a guy friend, a girl can provide herself with an interesting weekend with a minimum of financial expenses. In some cases, the situation is viewed from the other side, but such men are more often called gigolos.

Causes

There can be a lot of reasons for the friend zone: indecisiveness and shyness, excessive assertiveness, the wrong choice of method to attract attention. The most common of them is the banal lack of romantic interest on the part of the one who keeps the lover as a friend. The personal life of every person is full of both successes and failures. If you are not loved, you can come to terms with it and move on with your life, but many people prefer to be drawn into relationships that exhaust them mentally.

You won't be nice by force. Changing this is difficult, although you can do everything right: look after you beautifully, demonstrate your feelings, talk about the prospects of the relationship, be an ideal partner. It won't help if the other person doesn't become romantically interested in you. Some selfish people may send their crush to the friend zone to take advantage of them.

What motivates friend zone owners?

The reasons for falling into the friend zone or keeping a person in love in it are based on the basics of human psychology, and therefore are easily explained:

Backup option . A common case is when a guy or girl keeps a friend on a short leash and won’t let him go due to the lack of a better partner. Such a friend is a way to while away lonely evenings, perhaps not as innocently as it should be for friends, but the lover does not receive any promises and still consoles himself with hopes for the next stage of the relationship. The situation will resolve itself as soon as he or she appears on the horizon - the best one or the best. Contacts with an old friend will be minimized, but not completely abandoned: if this new option does not work out, you can try to win back the victim in love or transfer her back to the friend zone. Caution and mistrust . One day (or more than once), a broken heart of a guy or girl no longer wants to be deceived: the friend zone in this case is a test of one’s own and other people’s feelings over time. Sympathy and its manifestations are quite possible, but developing relationships will require considerable patience. Vent and vest . It’s easier to cry on the shoulder of the opposite sex, and it’s easier to get the support you need in difficult times from an adoring person - he will come on the first call, reassure you, and give advice. And for those who want to get emotional release - here you go, a friend will have fun, take you to the movies, and keep you company on skis. Such a pastime, in fact, does not oblige you to anything, but it makes you wary: such “friendship” is evidence that the owner of the friend zone has no real friends. Triangle . The object of adoration has a permanent partner, but everything is not easy there and does not allow all expectations to come true: lack of sincere conversations, attention, joint recreation, gifts, etc. encourages the dissatisfied to create a friend zone in order to, with the help of those in it, “get” what the permanent partner does not provide. A difficult situation that can cause jealousy and a complete break in relationships, and therefore it is better to think through possible negative developments in advance. Material considerations . A common situation in relationships is when a wealthy and generous young man falls into a woman’s “friendly” trap. For the sake of attention and love, he is ready to give a woman expensive gifts, arrange romantic meetings, and make unexpected surprises. If a girl’s heart is free, then being in the friend zone of such a charming and generous man with attention and gifts may not last long - he has every chance of moving from the “friend” category to the “lover” category. Soul mate . Well, it so happened that this soul turned out to be of the opposite sex... But the commonality of interests and outlook on life allows us to create pleasant and comfortable communication together, and therefore it is very difficult to refuse it - alas, sometimes you have to sacrifice the serious feelings of one of the couple.

There are at least 6 reasons why people friendzone someone

How to get out of the friend zone

The friend zone is a special form of addiction. Staying in it is a process that stimulates itself. It can last for many years. The longer a person stays in it, the more attached he becomes to his lover. He spends a lot of energy and time on this crippled relationship, so it becomes more and more difficult to abandon further attempts to become closer every year. On the other hand, his patience is gradually running out.

Leaving the friend zone usually occurs at a time when it becomes abundantly clear that a romantic relationship is no longer possible. Very rarely does friendship develop into love and such stories end happily. Usually such scenarios are shown to us in films, but life is not much like a fairy tale.

Only those who do not openly admit their feelings have a chance for reciprocity. We recommend getting yourself out of the friend zone slowly, gradually getting rid of feelings that prevent you from living and moving on. First, you should stop deceiving yourself. Unfulfilled hopes further distance you from harsh reality.

How to stop being a “buddy” and become a man again.

The topic we are going to talk about now is very sad.
And from the point of view of those who find themselves in this zone, it is also terribly unfair. So how do you know if you're in the friend zone? I will be monstrously merciless and tell the truth: if this issue bothers you, then you are already there. There is such a wonderful phrase: “I’ve reached a new level of the friend zone - I know her boyfriend’s parents.”

Let's go in order. If your approach and seduction of this girl has been delayed, if you have been courting each other for about a month, but sex has not happened, then you have most likely already crossed the line and become a friend for her. The energy of love is quickly formed and requires quick implementation. If you missed this flash, then your chances of further success are slim.

A little about character8

Even when it is not easy, a real man must remain himself, maintaining his dignity. And even if a person happens to end up in the friend zone, you shouldn’t immediately blame the girl for all mortal sins, since it was the guy’s character that could have caused the lady’s similar behavior.

If the man himself is not a scoundrel and a hermit whom a girl can keep aside so as not to get burned herself, then the reason lies elsewhere - the guy is too easy to manipulate.

Hoping for something, a man gets involved in a friendship that will cost him enormous strength, nerves and money.

A truly strong man with a core inside will be able to leave a girl who decides to play and will look for his happiness elsewhere. If it’s too difficult, then you can continue correspondence on social networks for some time, but it’s best to stop even that.

It is important to understand that a woman is not obliged to reciprocate every man who liked her. Love at first sight occurs most often in films or romantic comedies, but in life everything is not so simple. The reasons for refusal in a relationship can be a variety of options - the guy simply didn’t like his appearance, or the girl dreams of someone else.

It is also possible that the lady actually feels sincere friendly sympathy for the man, but he desired her and began to interpret the signs he received the way he wanted, thinking about love and mutual hints.

TOP 10 films about friendship between a man and a woman

"More than a friend" . The film tells us about the friendship between Casey and Wally, which grew into a love relationship and the creation of a family. It all happened because of a donor mistake and Casey's desire to have a child.
"My Best Friend's Girl" . A very interesting and funny comedy. We recommend viewing.
"Boys and Girls" . One of the most touching scenes in cinema. Meeting of teenagers who become close. It all starts with strong friendship.
"Love, Rosie" . The film is about the friendship of two teenagers who, years later, realize that they cannot live without each other.
"Fall in love with me, if you dare" . This picture tells us about a strange couple who have been friends since an early age. In the relationship between the young people there were constant jokes and games of “weakness”. They were afraid to admit their real feelings to themselves. A very unusual and kind comedy about the friend zone. Suitable for repeated viewing.
"Just friends".
"One day".
"Friends with Benefits".
"When Harry Met Sally".
"Silver Linings Playbook".

A girl can also end up in the friend zone5

It is believed that it is girls who keep men close to them and play with their feelings, but psychologists have proven that this is not so. Many representatives of the strong streak consciously or accidentally give girls hope for a relationship, but manipulate them for sex, money or something else. The female friend zone is just as common, and maybe even more common, than the male friend zone.

At university, a guy can make promises to a girl, counting on her help in her studies, and at work - for completing routine, complex tasks.

Often, a girl is aware of the situation she is in, feels indifference to herself, but listens to promises of a possible happy future and idealizes a man, not wanting to notice all his shortcomings.

In this case, the logic is very simple - the lady believes that the man only needs to “work up” and then he will return to the lady of his heart, who has always been there. This is indeed possible, but only in some cases, and most often such relationships end in complete disappointment.

Clear signs of entering the Friend zone

We will give you 12 signs that indicate your “friend zone” status.

Your beloved does not take your opinion into account.
Ignoring your interests.
Constant excuses that now is not the time for kissing and sexual relations, it’s too early, you need to wait a little until you’re ready, and stuff like that. These are just excuses, she is ready, but not with you.
She has a boyfriend, and you are the “backup option.”
A girl remembers you only when she needs to ask for something, cry or talk as a “friend.”
She doesn't introduce you to her friends and parents. This means only one thing - the young lady does not consider you seriously or is simply embarrassed to introduce you into her close circle.
Always asks to pay for it in a cafe or cinema. Most likely, the girl communicates with you for selfish purposes.
The object of your adoration openly ridicules your feelings.
He says that “You are good, you are sweet, your girlfriend will be very lucky to have you, but you are only my friend and nothing more.”
Introduces her boyfriend. This means that he doesn’t think that you can be competitors with him and doesn’t recognize your feelings.
The young lady does not include you in her list of plans.
You never bring up the topic of your relationship with your girl. She avoids such conversations in every possible way and always changes the subject when it comes to your feelings.
Your beloved does not call you or write to you just because she misses you, but only on business. No romantic conversations.

What is a girl friend zone?

A few years ago, users of the entertainment portal Reddit invented the term “girlfriendzone” for a situation where a man sees a woman only as a potential partner, and not as a full-fledged interlocutor and friend.

Video As/Is, youtube, com

If you DO NOT believe in friendship between a man and a woman, and at the same time in female friendship, at the same time you believe in the friend zone and are sure that all women are, by and large, the same, insensitive and selfish, you need to change your worldview. Our material can help you with this, telling you why men need feminism in 2021 (and you personally too).

Author: Larisa Stebeneva