January 19, 2021
Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. Modern society has a tendency to delay maturation. A number of European countries want to legally extend adolescence in order to comply with current realities.
And this phenomenon has a name - infantilism (in scientific terms, but in simple terms - infantilism). Nowadays, most children do not need to start working at ten years old, as was the case before, and many of them refuse to leave childhood altogether.
Today we will talk about this phenomenon and try to understand the reasons for the infantile behavior of people, learn how to recognize an infant among your friends and try to give advice on how to finally get rid of this “childishness”, because it interferes with living and developing fully.
Infantile behavior
Infantility is a delay in human development psychologically or physically. (This article will be devoted to psychological infantilism) Simply put, in appearance a person is an adult, but at heart he is still a child who looks at the world with naive eyes, refusing to accept reality and take responsibility for his life.
To put it even more simply, these people can be called mama’s boys, daddy’s girls, and so on. These individuals were not separated from their parents and continue to live under a warm wing, even if the person is already over 40-50 years old. Read more: Midlife crisis in men.
Kinds
In addition to psychological trauma and costs in family education, brain damage and mental disorders lead to the development of infantility. Thus, infantilism can be congenital and acquired. On the basis of this, in psychiatry and psychology it is customary to distinguish the following types of infantilism:
- Organic. Infantilism, as one of the manifestations of delayed mental development, is associated with damage to the central nervous system, for example, as a result of infections, intoxications, injuries.
- Somatogenically caused infantilism. It occurs due to hormonal imbalances and damage to internal organs.
- Psychogenically caused, or psychological infantilism. Arises due to costs in family education.
Where does infantilism come from?
This behavior is imposed on children by the parents themselves. They don’t want to let them go into adulthood, they want to decide everything for them themselves, not realizing that in this way they are only making things worse for their child. Surely, you yourself have observed how an overly caring mother constantly helps her son get dressed, eat, and so on. It feels like the mother is playing with dolls, since she didn’t play enough herself as a child. And people look at all this from the outside and think, God, what a shame, who will the guy grow up to be?
In fact, it’s not a fact that a guy with such a mother will grow up childish. Perhaps the guy himself realizes the problem by the age of 14-18 and will simply refuse beyond the care of his parents. He will begin to explore the world and learn to be independent in it.
By the way, until I was 19, my parents tried to impose on me who to be, where to go and where to work. Although, thanks to my mother, at the age of 17 I got a job in the Customs authorities, for the position of document specialist of the 11th category, where I worked for 3 years, I gained quite a bit of experience working for the state. service, and most importantly, be flexible and persistent. But that's another story.
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And I also noticed such a thing that mothers usually take extra care. I have never seen men being overly caring towards their children. If you have encountered this, write in the comments.
What we get, infantile behavior is behavior imposed on their children from their parents. And, unfortunately, they do not understand that in this way they are causing harm to their child. Dooming him in his adult life to suffering from loneliness.
Infantility in men. Signs of behavior
- The most important negative trait is not following agreements . For such a person there is no concept of personal responsibility, and it is clear, because there is a mother who decides everything for me. And I can refuse any agreements and nothing will happen to me for it. It really won’t happen, you are constantly angry with such people because they behave irresponsibly, but this is all useless, since they cannot be changed if they themselves do not want to change.
- Shifting responsibility for your life to others. Everyone is to blame for everything except himself. Of course, it’s easier to blame the government for all your ills, rather than strive to develop and make the world a little better. Why, because everyone owes me.
- Everyone owes me. Another common problem among infantile people. Most likely, it is due to the fact that the child lives alone in the family and receives full attention from the parents; this is a kind of spoiledness or something.
- Dependence on parents. Why work if my parents fully provide, buy toys and always want to pamper me, just to make me a little happy. Yes, such people at 50-60 also sit on their parents’ necks. They live on pensions. Sadly.
- Cannot take responsibility for family and friends . Infantile men are too afraid of responsibility, so if his girlfriend gets pregnant, he immediately leaves her and leaves, without feeling any guilt or conscience. Because he cannot take responsibility for his actions and actions. And then the girl raises her child alone and is more likely to become an infant.
Read additionally: ChSVshnik, who is it?
Infant or creative person?
Infantilism is often confused with a creative personality. Infantile people are called non-standard, spontaneous people who adore everything bright, unusual, and new. However, this is far from the case. Creative individuals have infantile traits (otherwise a person would not be able to use imagination and create so actively), but they are not infantiles if this does not interfere with their life and relationships.
How to distinguish a creative personality from an infantile one? The first, no matter what she looks like or what she is interested in, is responsible for herself and other people, earns her own living, pays bills on time, remembers to eat and take care of her appearance, knows how to resolve conflicts and discuss problems. Behind the pink hair, unicorn sweater, and cartoon lover may be the most responsible and efficient person you've ever known. And for those around him, he is the best support.
An infant always needs someone to care for him. He does not know how to keep track of time, his needs, appearance, life. The infant is not able to speak openly about his needs (let them guess) or provide for himself. He tries to change people and refuses to work on himself and relationships. By the way, his wardrobe and hairstyle can be the most conservative.
The root of the problem of infantile behavior in men
Here I will describe the reasons for infantile behavior in men, where the legs grow from, so that you understand what mistakes parents make in raising their children.
One child in the family
All attention from parents and close relatives is focused on one individual. Such a person has the feeling that the world revolves around him, but he can easily spin the world on his trunk (just kidding). But there is some truth in every joke. The child grows up spoiled, everything is owed and owed to him, but he himself gives nothing in return. A relationship with such a person is doomed to failure. And also selfishness.
Growing up in a family without a father
Second common problem. The child has no father, no support and no one to be like. The father begins to be replaced by the mother, the mother accordingly raises her child completely under guardianship, protects him from everything aggressive from the external environment, not understanding the simple thing that the external aggressive environment is useful for the development of a man.
Raised by a domineering mother
Everything is worse here. Complete suppression of the child as a man. Total control. Constant accusations and comparisons with her ex-husband, who naturally ran away a long time ago, leaving her alone with the child, now she is taking revenge on her child for everything.
And if the man has not yet run away, it means that he is being suppressed in the same way as a child. Only psychotherapy will help with this problem. The child himself will not be able to get out from under the yoke of such a mother; here he needs the help of a psychologist.
Causes
The cause of infantilism may be improper upbringing in childhood or the presence of infantile parents
It is believed that infantility arises in the process of upbringing, in the period from eight to fifteen years in the presence of unfavorable conditions. At the initial stage, it manifests itself as disobedience to parents, hysteria, manipulation, and an irresponsible approach to learning.
- A bad example of infantile parents. The child copies their behavior model.
- Excessive guardianship, the child’s inability to make decisions independently.
- Imposing your opinion, your point of view on the little one, excessive control over the child’s actions.
- Parents who spend too much time at work do not have sufficient opportunity to raise their child. Often their influence is replaced by a computer, watching television, listening to music. In such a situation, the child develops the illusion of permissiveness; he understands that he can manipulate everyone around him.
- There is an opinion that the school education system also negatively affects the development of the child’s psyche. Today, within the walls of the school, all attention is concentrated on general education subjects, and they do not focus on the process of education. The child is not explained what is bad and what is good. Lack of moral training leads to the consolidation of infantile patterns, immaturity.
Parents who put serious pressure on their child in childhood, control his actions or surround him with unnecessary care, find it difficult to stop behaving this way as the child grows up. They see their baby in an adult and cannot change their behavior pattern. Parents can interfere in his personal life, pester him with constant calls, and express their advice. An infantile person is not able to resist such actions; he is afraid of independence and responsibility.
How to solve the problem of your immaturity even if you don’t know how to do it?
I'm looking for 5 people, with an understanding of their infantility, who want to take control of their lives. Become successful in your life
You constantly shift responsibility for your life to others
You earn little, but your parents constantly give you money and therefore you don’t think about making big money yourself
You think that everyone owes you
If you recognize yourself, sign up for a diagnostic consultation with a psychologist
