Communication skills in children and adults. Skill development

Communication skills are a set of human abilities that ensure effective interaction with other people. Effective communication comes down to two main principles: the ability to correctly understand the interlocutor, that is, to correctly explain to oneself what he said, and the ability to correctly convey information, that is, to express exactly the thought that was planned.

Communication with other people, that is, communication, according to many psychologists, for example, Vygotsky, Elkonin, is the basis of human development and, in particular, the foundation of personality formation. In addition, communication is responsible for a number of other functions. These include managing one’s own behavior, fulfilling the need for communication, ensuring psychological well-being, organizing joint activities with other people, etc.

Communication skills are a necessity for a person living in society, since he has to interact with a large number of people, solving problems from different areas of life: from going grocery shopping to complex business negotiations. Communication skills are also responsible for the success of completing the task.

Low communicative competence leads to interpersonal conflicts and the appearance in a child or adult of a feeling of alienation, isolation, and uselessness, therefore the development of communication skills is important from a person’s earliest childhood.

In addition, there are a number of professions in which communication is the main method of work. These include professions from the fields of journalism, psychology, pedagogy, marketing and many others. Employees in these areas are required to have highly developed communication skills. However, it is also important for people not associated with these areas to develop effective communication skills, which will become the basis for social fulfillment, psychological satisfaction and help in the formation of interpersonal connections.

Stool syndrome

A person is included in communication with his own kind from the moment of birth.
Therefore, all our basic communication skills are formed at a “preconscious” age. Our usual methods of communication are very quickly automated and become stereotyped. And over the years, it may turn out that the skills formed in childhood “lag behind” and do not correspond to new communicative tasks and situations of adult life. Here's a simple example. One of the basic communication skills is self-presentation - introducing yourself to your communication partner(s). Self-presentation involves measured and selective self-disclosure

That is, it is important not to dump all the shocking details about “your loved one” on your interlocutors, but to provide exactly as much information as is necessary to form a positive impression of you and (most importantly!) to achieve the goal of communication

Now imagine, say, the boy Vasya, who grew up with “stool syndrome.” “Stool syndrome” (this is a comic name, not a scientific term) occurs in children whose parents in every possible way cultivate their giftedness (even if it is actually absent) and demonstrate it to others. If guests come to such a family, the parents immediately loudly announce: “And now our Vasenka will read a poem / play the violin / sing!” After which Vasenka finds herself in the center of everyone’s attention (she stands on a real or hypothetical stool) and demonstrates her talents to everyone.

Gradually, the child develops the following attitude: “I must begin communication by demonstrating my talents, I must delight everyone and be the center of everyone’s attention.” How useful do you think such a communication skill would be during, say, important business negotiations? Surely you are familiar with similar characters who, instead of focusing on the matter at hand, “pull the blanket over themselves”

They are ready to do anything, even disrupt negotiations, just to draw attention to their person. Such people do not possess the skill of self-presentation at a conscious level, stereotypically reproducing the “stool syndrome” formed in childhood.

8 Basic Communication Skills:

Orientation in a communication situation (including understanding of goals, roles, motivation of participants).
Establishing contact, starting communication (and a symmetrical skill - ending communication).
Self-presentation.
Receiving information from the interlocutor (active and passive listening, using questions, reading “body language”, etc.).
Providing information (presentation).
Emotional regulation and self-regulation.
Psychological influence (persuasion, suggestion) and resistance to influence.
Providing feedback.

Of course, there are also more complex communication skills, such as those related to negotiations or public speaking in front of a large audience. But without sufficient mastery of basic communication skills, mastering higher-level skills/abilities will be problematic.

Don’t drag out your monologue: brevity is the sister of talent

This rule directly relates to the ability to listen and hear the interlocutor. If a person acts as a storyteller for too long, he deprives himself of the chance to hear his interlocutor

When you focus your attention on another person, you automatically begin to talk less yourself.

Scene

Game for two. The rules are very simple. You can say that you come up with them yourself.

First, think about the topic around which the dialogue will begin. It could be:

Customer support (difficult client).
An angry customer approaches a sales consultant.
Two people arguing about whether Mars should be colonized.

Before you start the skit, you must clearly state the conflict. The ending may be random.

Language of the body

Sometimes body language says more than any words you can say. Both consciously and subconsciously, the body shows the interlocutor what is really happening to you.

Explain to the group that you are going to give them a series of instructions that they should copy as quickly as possible.
Say the following instructions out loud to the group and follow them at the same time:

Touch your nose with your finger.
Clap your hands.
Spread your arms.
Touch your index fingers to your shoulders.
Cross your arms.
Place your hand on your stomach - but as you say these words, touch your finger to the tip of your nose.

Notice the number of people who copied what you did rather than what you said.

Body language can strengthen verbal communication, but it can also be stronger than verbal communication - it's important to be aware of it so that we can clearly understand that we are projecting the right message. This is interesting: How to develop communication skills?

This is interesting: How to develop communication skills?

Improving your communication skills

If you previously thought that becoming one of those with brilliant communication skills was difficult, then you were very, very wrong. In fact, any problem has its own solution, often quite simple, if only you had the desire to look for it.

Know how to set specific communication tasks in relation to your partners

Are you striving for conscious and effective communication? Choose suitable emotionally motivating tasks. The fact is that it is much easier to influence any person through his emotional sphere.

Of course, you shouldn’t show your emotions too violently, it may not show you from the best side, but the ability to establish emotional contact has always been the main characteristic of the best communicators. Therefore, determine what kind of result you want to get from the conversation and decide on the right emotions.

Learn to ignore psychological barriers

Internal barriers arise in the process of communication quite often, and everything would be fine, but they are one of the main obstacles to fruitful communication

But so that nothing bothers you, concentrate on what is important to you during the communication process

Know how to manage the communication process

Forget for a while about logical steps in communication - if you are constantly busy calculating the need for this or that action, then you simply will not have time left to achieve the goal that you have set for yourself.

Of course, you are unlikely to be able to “feel” the communication the first time; at first you simply cannot do without training. But then you will be able to understand the mood of your interlocutor without any problems and figure out whether he is making contact with you.

Know how to be charming

Of course, you have more than once encountered people who, without any problems, get everything they need from communication, and all thanks to charisma. You don’t need to think that charisma is an exclusively innate quality, it is quite possible to develop it, for this you should allow your imagination to take flight and free your inner life.

Know how to remove psychophysical clamps

Constrained or overly loose body movements will immediately signal to your interlocutor that you also have psychophysical constraints. He may not be able to clearly identify the nature of your condition, but he will immediately understand that something is wrong with you. Accordingly, the success of your communication will be in big question. So relax and, of course, train.

For practice

In the meantime, the training is planned, here are a few effective communication techniques for everyday practice:

The rule of three yeses. At the beginning of the conversation, try to structure your phrases or questions in such a way that the interlocutor agrees with you three times or answers “yes.” In this case, it will be easier for you to convince him or sway him in the right direction.
Do not use negative and aggressive words in your speech that will subconsciously push your interlocutor away from you: must, must, terrible, scary, failure, failure, crush, etc. Use their softer forms: would like, slight difficulties, a little anxious, would prefer, restrain.
Try not to speak loudly and emotionally if it is associated with a negative description of the situation. Pay attention to the reaction of your interlocutor caused by your gestures and movements. Conversely, do not skimp on showing emotions in positive stories.
Watch your tone of voice. Understanding will become difficult if any explanation is carried out in a raised voice. Learn to place accents correctly during a conversation.
When communicating with aggressive or negative people, imagine a glass wall around you that does not allow the pressure and pessimism of the interlocutor to pass through.
To make it easier for you to tune in to positive communication or refrain from retaliatory attacks, imagine your interlocutor as the person you respect or love infinitely. You will want to understand him and will do everything to make him understand you.
In disputes, use comparisons if you are sure that we can defend our point of view. This technique will also add richness to the conversation.
Pay attention to the main “weapon of attack” of your interlocutor. Mirror his behavior or phraseology and use it against him.
To be convincing, use numerical examples, statistical data, rely on well-known facts and authoritative sources.
At all times, the most powerful technique for both generating sympathy and escaping conflict has been and remains a sense of humor. By commenting with a joke on your interlocutor’s statement or attack, make the conversation pleasant and emotionally vivid, and you will not be forgotten.

Books on developing communication skills

Patrick King “How to Improve Your Communication Skills” is a best-selling book from an American director and screenwriter that will help you improve your communication skills and change toxic destructive attitudes and habits when communicating with other people. Other useful books on developing communication skills:

“How to Talk to Anyone” by M. Rhodes. Many people have difficulties when communicating: fear of starting a conversation, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. The author pays great attention to overcoming all these psychological barriers in oneself. “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation techniques" M Goulston. Speaking beautifully and convincingly in order to attract the attention of your interlocutor is an art, and the ability to listen is aerobatics. People love to be listened to and are grateful when their interlocutor listens to them sincerely and with interest, and in return they will listen to you with great pleasure. “Secrets of communication. The magic of words" J. Borg. Very often a person in his speech uses words that “stick” to him and wander from conversation to conversation; by these words you can determine what kind of person is in front of you

It is important to start monitoring your speech and choosing the right words to communicate. The book contains many practical exercises. "Substantive conversation

The art of communication for those who want to get their way” S. Scott. The author teaches constructive communication skills and encourages you to give up empty chatter, during which time and energy are lost. “Never eat alone. And other rules of networking” K. Ferrazzi, T. Rez. The book was written for businessmen, but will be useful for reading by the general public. The author teaches how to develop an adult's communication skills and build constructive relationships with people around him using a proven step-by-step strategy.

Secrets of a sociable person:

Don't hesitate to be the first to contact us. There are many shy people in the world, and if everyone is shy, then there will be no one to communicate with! Of course, you need to distinguish between when a possible interlocutor simply does not know how to be the first to enter into a conversation, and when he is not in the mood to communicate at all. Don't confuse initiative with obsession. But if you still learn to overcome your inner fears (“What if this person doesn’t want to talk to me?”) and start making contact yourself, you can make a lot of modest but good friends.
Be in the process of communication constantly. This means that fragmentary attempts at initiative in communication will not lead us out of the state of internal constriction. It is difficult to move a steam locomotive, but once it has already accelerated, it is difficult to stop it. If you constantly strive to communicate, start talking to strangers on the street, call your friends first just to chat, then over time this will become easier and easier, and constant communication with people will turn into a harmonious addition to life.
Set aside expectations and fears - build your communication yourself. We go to meet a friend to have fun, but he turns out to be sad and taciturn. The boss called us into his office - and we immediately began to shake in horror. Or maybe he wanted to offer a promotion, but saw the frightened eyes and changed his mind, deciding that you could not cope with the new position? Do not expect a certain result from the upcoming contact, learn to improvise. We can never know in advance the reactions and words of our interlocutors, so we should not force ourselves into scenarios.
Be open and don't be shy about your emotions. We often become overly self-conscious and withdrawn because we think too much about the appropriateness of our feelings and emotions. Don't be afraid - show yourself. When it’s funny, laugh, when you’re sad, be sad, when you love, love with all your heart. Express your opinion and share unusual observations. There will always be people who don't understand you - and that's okay. But this way you can surround yourself with real like-minded people.
Enjoy the conversation. You will immediately ask me - how can I force myself to enjoy communication? There is no need to force yourself - learn to look for positive moments and throw negativity out of your head. Instead of thinking about some unsuccessful answer, it is better to remember how much interesting you learned from a conversation or how you laughed at a joke. When you pay more attention to the good, the result of communication will be positive.

Communication is an art that we need. They say that we don’t like to do what we don’t know how to do – and that’s true. Once we learn to have fruitful and harmonious communication, we will be able to love it and benefit from daily conversations with people.

Games that develop sociability.

joint games of children You can start developing communication skills in children from a very early age, when the baby is already able to express a response to what is happening. The simplest games can help with this, and favorite toys: bears, bunnies will be excellent helpers in developing a child’s communication skills. The simplest thing is to talk with the child on behalf of the doll. Having gotten used to such conversations, the baby will not shy away from communication. If there is an opportunity to play group games, then this will be an excellent incentive to develop liberation and, as a result, sociability. In such classes, children have the opportunity to communicate with each other in a playful way. Game “Getting Acquainted” Participants sit in a circle and take turns introducing themselves, with each next first repeating what the previous one said, adding their own introduction afterwards. For example: – I’m Katya, I have a favorite cat Musya, I like to play with her .– Katya has a favorite cat, Musya, she loves to play with her. My name is Dima, I like cars and transformers, my dad and I play together. – Katya has a cat, Musya, and she plays with her. Dima loves to play with cars and with dad. I'm Anya, my mother and I went to the zoo, and I liked the hippopotamus the most. This game not only helps develop communication skills, but also trains memory.

games with a child

Show genuine interest in the person you are talking to

When you show sincere interest in your interlocutor, you completely involuntarily begin to listen to him more carefully, trying to understand what he is thinking and feeling. That is, this will help you determine what really interests him.

When you listen to your interlocutor and show interest in his person, you can easily discover that he is not as different from you or as boring as he seemed to you when you met.

Additionally, people will feel more comfortable if they see your interest and attention in them, which will benefit the conversation.

How to improve your skills

Completing specialized training will help you develop your communication skills, where practicing models of life situations, even in the event of an error, will not entail irreparable consequences, as happens in life. Professional mentors will help you learn how to resolve conflicts, develop persuasive speech, acquire effective self-presentation skills, and increase the credibility of your words.

In a group of like-minded people, there is an opportunity to creatively approach solving communication problems, test different ways of influencing the interlocutor, use different roles and play out necessary situations. The training course provides a range of techniques and exercises that can be applied in specific situations.

Once you get the first results from the methods in real life, move on to more complex and sophisticated communication options. To achieve greater efficiency, you can practice your communication skills in the company of friends and family.

Work on your acting skills

Communication abilities are, in turn, a wealth of different intonations and gestures. This is what characterizes people as representatives of society. A sociable person is an excellent storyteller and imitator, who has a taste for juicy detail, for details. He prefers variety in life, since it is easy for such a person to move from one social role to another, in addition, he easily adapts to any situation. Such people have charm and know how to please.

Healthy lifestyle

Everyone wants to be healthy. Right? For me, for example, the goal is not just to be healthy, but also to have enough energy. Plus look good.

Example. I played football for 11 years and then gave it up. My weight went from 65 to 86 kilograms in less than 9 months. I became fat. For anyone who once boasted great abs, this is frustrating. So I decided to do two things:

find a suitable diet that would help me return to a normal weight, and stick to it;
In addition to nutrition, exercise regularly.

It took me about a couple of years to find a suitable diet and sports activities to my liking. But now I am happy with my body, healthy and energetic during the day.

Maintain eye contact

Communication with our eyes is written deep into our genes. Two-day-old newborns prefer to look at faces rather than at toys or the ceiling. The brains of 4-month-old babies are more active if the baby looks into someone's eyes.

When the other person avoids eye contact, people think that he is insincere and less conscientious. And vice versa, we trust more the one who looks into the eyes.

But don't go too far. People consider staring too long a sign of aggressiveness and even psychopathy. Scientists have determined that you need to look into your eyes for no more than three seconds.

Trust is also influenced by the degree of pupil dilation - the wider they are, the more closeness you feel with your interlocutor. You are unable to consciously control your eye muscles. But you can make an appointment in a darkened room, and then the pupils will dilate automatically.

Try to initiate the conversation

Residents of a big city have long been accustomed to pretend that, walking down the street, moving on a bus or on the subway, they do not notice a familiar person or do not recognize him. Downcast eyes, as a rule, indicate a person’s reluctance to communicate with anyone, and this works - they also lose the desire to talk to you.

This adult version of hide and seek causes people to experience more stress and negative emotions than a conversation with even the most undesirable interlocutor.

When you see someone you know, but hide intensely, pretending not to notice him, you are in a state of anticipation. A swarm of questions flash through my head: did he recognize me? Does he want to talk? Or maybe he is in a bad mood and is not in the mood for a conversation? Should I come or not?

In order not to be stressed and not torment yourself once again, it is better to simply come up and start a dialogue, to act as its initiator. You will be surprised how easy it is. If the interlocutor is really not in the mood for a conversation, then you can simply say goodbye and move away.

Article information

This article was produced by our experienced team of editors and researchers, who reviewed it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

Category: Communication

In other languages:

English: Develop Good Communication Skills, Français: développer de bonnes aptitudes de communication, Italiano: Sviluppare Buone Capacità di Comunicazione, Español: desarrollar buenas habilidades de comunicación, Deutsch: Gute Kommunikationsfähigkeiten entwickeln, Português: Desenvolver Boas Habilidades de Comunica ção, Nederlands: Goede communicatievaardigheden ontwikkelen, 中文: 培养良好的沟通技巧, Bahasa Indonesia: Mengembangkan Kemampuan Komunikasi yang Baik, Čeština: Jak získat dobré komunikační dovednosti, Tiếng Việt: Phát triển K ỹ năng Giao tiếp Tốt, 한국어: 커뮤니케이션 잘하는 방법, हिन्दी: कम्युनिकेशन Communication Skills) by: by: by: by: by Name: コミュニケーション能力を高める, T ürkçe: İletişim Becerileri Nasıl Geliştirilir

This page has been viewed 70,939 times.

Was this article helpful?

Not really

Three Tools for Developing Communication Skills

Reflection

This is the ability to look at how you communicate, as if from the outside, and analyze it. Develop the habit of asking yourself questions (before, during and after communication): “Is it appropriate to start this conversation now? Is now a good time/place to talk? What mood/state is my interlocutor in? Is he emotionally/morally ready for this conversation? Who is my interlocutor? What does he want from this conversation with me?” (and so on.). Here are reflective questions for the skill of orientation in a communication situation, but they can be formulated in a similar way to improve other communication skills.

Feedback

Popular wisdom rightly says: “You can see a straw in someone else’s eye, but you cannot see a log in your own.” There may indeed be “blind spots” in our reflection; we may not notice some weaknesses in our communication. Therefore, a good solution may be help from external observers, who can be asked: “Which of my remarks/actions/behavior in this communication situation were unsuccessful? What did I do wrong? If you trust the observer, then you can ask him for advice on how to improve your communication skills in such situations.

Experiments

Try to at least slightly change your usual (pattern) behavior in communication and see what happens. Don't try to change everything at once, try at least one simple change. For example, in the above example with the “running by” manager, we agreed that he would make at least three stops, during which he would communicate with employees.

Teenagers (who, as we remember, find it difficult to navigate communication situations due to their little experience) were greatly helped by learning one simple technique: “question plus announcement.” Its essence is that before starting any conversation, you just need to ask your interlocutor: “Is it convenient for you to discuss here and now?” – then briefly outline (announce) the topic and purpose of the conversation.

If you are sure that your skills are not sufficiently developed, attending a training session, which is usually called that way (“basic communication skills”, “development of communication skills”, etc.), will help. But even if it is not possible to attend such a training, approach any conversation consciously, use the three tools described above (reflection, feedback, experiments), and you will certainly be able to communicate better.

What to do about it

So, if we are of the opinion that in any direction of human development there is always room for improvement, let's try, at least for a second, to abandon the idea that we are right. This critical look at ourselves will allow us to expand the number of options for what was said and interpretations of what we heard. And no matter how much we would like to shift all responsibility onto the interlocutor, let’s try to evaluate our own communication skills and review our arsenal of communication techniques.

It is surprising that with all the wealth of choice of communication skills known to mankind, for the most part we use only a third of them, preferring the same “old tricks”. What about the rest of the “mineral resources” of our capabilities, where are they, why don’t they work?

Difficulties in communication arise because these same possibilities have not yet been revealed. But the good news is that they can be developed at any age. If we only use a third of our capabilities, imagine how our efficiency will increase if we start using half or more.

How to develop organizational skills

Since anyone can become an organizer, the question of how to do this is relevant. I suggest a few simple rules:

Organization begins with oneself (self-organization). Learn to organize your own activities, everyday life and your whole life. Make it a rule to make a daily plan, keep a diary, allocate time, set goals, tasks and always fulfill them. Do something right now that you haven’t gotten around to.
Develop empathy, the ability to understand another person, respect for the interests of other people, healthy altruism.
Master and practice positive thinking.
Improve yourself regularly. Adjust your self-esteem, get rid of uncertainty, fear of communication and other problems that you have. All internal barriers must be destroyed.
Develop your creativity.
Expand your horizons.
Train practical thinking, that is, look at the world realistically. Set realistic goals, don't get carried away by dreams.
Be ambitious.

It is important to know well not only your own characteristics, but also to understand the psychology of other people. Correctly distributing responsibilities, taking into account the needs, interests, temperament, character and other characteristics of the participants is the main task of the organizer

Be understanding about criticism

The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus advised listening to criticism. If a person senses a grain of truth in it, then it is worth thinking about how to improve.

However, it should be remembered that in the vast majority of cases criticism is a reflection of the emotional state and mood of the critic. Perhaps he was having a bad day. Maybe your pet or child is sick. Perhaps your interlocutor is angry with someone or is jealous of you. Because people are often focused on themselves and their experiences, it is very easy to draw the wrong conclusion.

Remember that the world does not revolve around you. Realize that people think very little about you, about your actions and mood. This knowledge can make your life much easier. Thus, the problem that is associated with the fear of taking the wrong step and saying something wrong (and this supposedly will somehow affect the opinions of others about you) turns into a small obstacle.

Causes of communication difficulties in a child:

child's isolation

Restriction of freedom, control and hypertrophied assistance deprives the child of individuality and determination to find communication on his own. Frequent changes of environment and moving force the child to re-establish contacts each time. A somewhat stressful situation is created, which can also reduce the level of communication skills. Children model the behavior of adults, and it is likely that among their circle of friends there will be those who will negatively influence the child’s behavior

In such a situation, it is important to be correct and gently convey to the child what is good and what is bad. A large number of prohibitions is also not good for communication skills and the relationship between parent and child in general; if possible, it is necessary to reduce the level of prohibitions and expand the child’s boundaries of freedom. Being isolated on one's own shortcomings makes the child closed to communication; it is worth helping him to relate to himself more easily.

Personal communication abilities: psychology and period of development

Communication abilities begin to develop in a person almost immediately after birth. It is believed that the sooner a baby learns to talk, the easier it will be for him to interact with the people around him.

An individual’s communication abilities are formed strictly individually. There are quite a lot of factors influencing their development: these include relationships with parents and relatives, later with peers, with colleagues and management. In addition, the general social role of a person in society is also important.

Situational blindness

The author of these lines relatively recently conducted a seminar for school psychologists, where he asked specialists to assess which communication skills are worst developed in modern teenagers. The range of assessments turned out to be quite large, but psychologists agreed that the skill of orientation in a communication situation was the worst developed. The deficiency of this skill manifests itself in the inability to choose the appropriate time and place of communication. The conversation turns out to be inappropriate, ineffective (the goals of the participants are not achieved) and unpleasant (provokes negative emotions).

The inability of adolescents to navigate a communication situation is primarily due to their limited social experience. They really do not have enough knowledge to understand the motives and goals of other participants in communication, predict the duration of the conversation, and assess the relevance of the topic being discussed at a given time and place. But such “situational blindness” is not limited to teenagers.

I had the opportunity to advise a manager who was faced with stubborn resistance from the team (“I give them instructions, set tasks, but they constantly disrupt their implementation!”). He had a habit of running quickly around the office, shouting orders as he went. It seemed to him that this was enough and that employees should literally “catch on the fly” his instructions.

In fact, he simply perceived the situation incorrectly

Many employees simply did not have time to switch their attention from their work to the fast pace of the boss, and literally did not hear what he was telling them. Secondly, many employees simply did not understand to whom exactly the phrase thrown into the air was addressed

Thirdly, people already had previously assigned work tasks, and the priority of the new “introduction” was unclear to them (and there was no opportunity to ask a clarifying question in the back of the fleeing boss).

Setting a task is not just a phrase thrown out on the run; it is a rather complex management and communication skill. And the first rule for this skill: create or select a situation suitable for setting the task.

An “appropriate” situation is one where nothing distracts the participants’ attention from discussing the task and they can fully focus their attention on the dialogue. The situation should create an opportunity for high-quality contact between participants in communication

In addition, in order for a task to be accepted for execution (and not just set), the situation must provide an opportunity to receive feedback from the performer. How can you focus attention, discuss something, give feedback (etc.), if the manager flies by like a bullet?

Development of communication skills, socialization and cognition of preschoolers

From an early age, socialization and communication skills are developed through play activities. This is due to the fact that play is the main method of children's cognition.

The simplest game for developing communication skills is a conversation on behalf of a doll or toy, or maybe a pet. This technique allows you to get used to conversations, which in the future will contribute to freer communication with people. You can include a pet in the dialogue. You can start the game by asking a question, for example, what age are the kittens, puppy or parrot.

Collective games also contribute to the development of communication skills. In the process of such collective activity, the little ones have the opportunity to communicate lively with each other in play activities.

The development of communication skills can occur in conjunction with training other abilities, such as memory. The game “Getting Acquainted” was developed for this purpose. To organize such a gaming activity, all participants must be seated in a circle. Then each person takes turns introducing themselves and briefly talking about their interests. Each subsequent player must first repeat the speech of the previous baby, and then pronounce his own. Such games develop communication skills by organizing a space in which everyone can talk about themselves in a calm atmosphere, as well as listen to other children.

Children's communication skills: how to determine?

At a certain age, the baby must have certain communication skills. Therefore, to determine the degree of sociability, parents need to compare their child and the generalized characteristics presented below. At the age of 2 to 3 years, sociability signs appear in the following:

the ability to attract people's attention;
initiating social interaction with peers verbally and physically;
the ability to listen to another person's speech;
conducting a conversation when it is your turn;
reacting with laughter to absurd objects or phenomena.
3-4 year olds should:
strictly observe the order during the game;
perceive toys or dolls as living beings;
Be the initiator of verbal interaction.
At the age of 4-5 years, babies most often:
know how to communicate with other children;
apply direct demands in communication, for example, “Stop it”;
present themselves as parents during play activities;
They start gossiping and sneaking around.

Signs of communication skills in children over 5 years old

At the age of 5-6 years, sociable personalities are manifested through:

ability to develop a strategic approach to conversations;
participation in competitive games based on competition;
introducing the concept of “fair play” into gaming activities;
awareness of one’s own behavior, the use of words “sorry”, “thank you”, “please”;
bringing joy to your own friends.

Guys aged 6 to 7 years:

learn to sympathize and empathize with the people around them;
more often share their experiences with others, while they use not only words, but also gestures and postures;
clearly expect their turn;
listen to other people's opinions and then analyze their solidarity with them;
know how to end a conversation;
They joke more, learn to lose and be happy for the winner.

It is worth considering that up to the age of 7 years, children have difficulty distinguishing the difference between good and bad, as a result of which they are often unable to independently determine the right direction or make the right decision. Therefore, parents are obliged not only to develop communication skills in their child, but also to explain to him how to act well and how to act badly. Only with such an integrated approach will a child be able to grow into a socialized, communicative personality.

This video contains discussions about how to develop a child from birth and is it necessary? Be sure to leave your questions, suggestions and comments on the article.

Test questions

You can ask the applicant himself to talk about his communication skills. It is better to ask not the general question “How are your communication skills?”, but more specific questions that clarify a particular situation. For example:

“When you were unhappy with something, how did you tell your manager about it?”

“What do you say and do to build strong business relationships?”

“Tell me about a situation when you carefully thought through your words and actions and ultimately achieved the desired result.”

“What do you do when you need help solving a difficult problem?”

“How do you communicate with a colleague you don’t like?”

Of course, people often tend to embellish reality. They do not talk about their real behavior, but try to answer questions correctly, “as it should.”

A good way to check whether this is true is a deliberate provocation. After listening to a suspiciously ideal story about communication, for example, with an unpleasant colleague, express your disagreement: “Why are you adapting to him, indulging his problems? Is it right to spend your working time on this?” and so on. Now see whether the candidate will explain and defend his original position or try to adapt to the “correct” version that the recruiter supposedly expects from him.

Cases

A fairly common technique that is used during interviews with sales managers: “Sell me this pen” (desk, phone or any other item). When a candidate speaks while solving a real problem, you can evaluate not only his communication skills, but also much more: the ability to build an argument, emotionality, brightness, and persuasiveness.

When interviewing a potential customer service employee, simulate a different situation - depending on what format of communication with clients is required in this position. “Imagine that I am a client. Tell me about..."

To assess communication skills, consider the following:

The candidate monitors the verbal and non-verbal reactions of the interlocutor and changes his behavior
Tries to include the interlocutor in the dialogue
Asks clarifying questions, studying the needs of the “client”
Actively listens and correctly rephrases the words of the interlocutor

If observation of behavior, questions and cases showed that the candidate has all the positive skills listed above, great, you have found a truly sociable employee.

Games

A good way to achieve high communication skills is through game-based training. They help each participant to open up to other people, feel free and completely relax. In such conditions, it is easiest to develop communication skills. Some games can even be used at home for joint training between parents and children.

How to play:

Repetitions. The game involves at least 5 people. One of them becomes the leader and shows the others certain movements (claps of palms, hand movements, etc.), voicing each of them. Everyone must repeat. To make it more difficult, the presenter can name something other than the action he is performing, and the participants must correctly orient themselves and repeat exactly what was said.
Guessing emotions. To play you need to split into 2 teams. All participants in the first group take turns showing different emotions that need to be drawn from a deck of special cards, and the second group must guess them. Then the teams change roles.
Theatrical scenes. You can play together, and the goal will be to role-play a situation. You can come up with absolutely any events, but they must suit both participants. It is advisable to act out scenes of various conflicts until they are completely resolved.
Origami. The game requires the presence of several participants. They all close their eyes, holding an A4 sheet of paper in their hands. The presenter gives instructions on exactly how to fold the sheet, and he should ask several times to tear it. At the end, you need to compare the results of everyone present.

Such simple games will perfectly help you achieve your goal. However, you should not expect that their use alone will be sufficient. They are best used as an additional measure or the first stage of skill development.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken and signed speech developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding more difficult, and effective communication is becoming a separate object of study.

The communication process includes five elements:

A communicator is someone who conveys information.
Contents of the message.
The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).
The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.
The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Communication skills are... Definition and characteristics

If in childhood a person did not receive proper understanding and support from his family, which did not allow him to gain experience in communication, he may become unconfident and withdrawn. That is, his communication skills will be at a low level. How to get out of this situation? Develop communication skills. However, before you figure out how to act in such a situation, you need to understand the structure of communication.

Personal communication abilities, the characteristics of which are presented below, include the following types.

Regulatory-communicative: the ability to help a person in a difficult situation, as well as accept someone else’s help when you yourself find yourself in a difficult situation. In addition, this type is responsible for the ability to resolve emerging conflicts using adequate methods.
Affective-communicative: the ability to notice the emotional states of others, as well as to respond to them in a timely and correct manner. In addition, this type is responsible for showing responsiveness and respect for the interlocutor.
Information and communication skills: the ability to start, maintain and end a conversation. In addition, this ability helps to attract the attention of the interlocutor using both verbal and non-verbal means of communication.

Effective Communication Techniques

Any person lives in society and is dependent on it. Even the most desperate homebodies, perhaps not directly, but enter into interpersonal relationships. Effective communication will be useful both for work and for everyday social connections. Communication techniques and skills can be developed and improved - this will make anyone's life much easier.

Do you want to receive positivity in the process of communication? It will be useful for you to learn some techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication:

Learn to listen carefully to what they say. You should not just look at the interlocutor during a conversation, but also bend slightly, nod your head, and ask appropriate leading questions. This technique will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s point of view as accurately as possible.
Be clear, concise and to the point. The more clearly a thought is formulated, the more likely it is that it will be understood and perceived correctly.
Include in your arsenal not only verbal, but also non-verbal communication. Take the same position as the interlocutor, try to use only open gestures, and do not touch your face during the conversation.
Watch for the emotional coloring of speech. It should be moderate, but so much so that the interlocutor understands your interest in the issue.
Master the techniques of oratory. The ability to master your voice allows you to accelerate the development of effective communication. Clear articulation, correct timbre and adjusted volume will make any message positive.
Master technical means of communication. Any adult must be able to use the telephone, fax, Skype, and email. Written communication skills should be developed regularly.

These are just basic techniques designed to facilitate and improve interpersonal communication.

Verbal and nonverbal communication: why is it needed?

What else does a person need besides food and water? Communication. If a person is alone for a long time, he begins to experience a change in consciousness. It is safe to say that communication is beneficial for individuals and for society as a whole.

We communicate through verbal and non-verbal means. Through verbal communication, we transfer information from one person to another using words and expressions. Nonverbal communication is facial expressions, gestures, as well as the volume, timbre and speed of speech of the person speaking, pauses during a conversation, expression of emotions, eye contact and facial expressions.

In order for the communication process to take place, it is necessary that at least a dialogue take place between two people, one of whom will give out information (speak, tell), and the other will receive (listen).

The following video explains the benefits of developed communication:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=pvatSVWaykM%3F

For example, why are you reading this article? Probably to gain new information, new experience, and then change your life? Or for another purpose. Or are you just reading...

Be sure to read the entire course as you will find this information helpful. Each of you will take away something different from our course.