08.07.2018
When conducting an interview and pursuing specific goals in relation to the suspect, the verifier must do everything possible to ensure that the atmosphere of the interview is as natural and comfortable as possible. If the interviewee is additionally anxious and stressed due to the fact that his personal space is being violated, detection of his lies will be complicated. An experienced verifier must have a correct understanding of personal zones, violation of which will in no way help him in finding out the truth.
Unlike representatives of the fauna, which are so characteristic of establishing and protecting their territory, humans have long been considered an exception to the rule. Only relatively recently has it been discovered that he also tends to establish his own space and become restless when it is violated.
What is included in the concept of “personal space”i
First of all, this is a person’s own body, his inner world, emotions, feelings, experiences. You can also include personal information space – the right to privacy.
In addition, personal space includes personal time, which a person has the right to manage as he sees fit. He can devote this time to himself, alone with his thoughts. You can read a book, go to an exhibition, watch TV. A person can also spend personal time on family and friends.
Personal space can be defined as physical and material things. Such as a toothbrush, computer, coat, favorite spoon.
There are places where a person can be alone with himself. This is a personal “nook”. In this way you can restore strength and relax after hard working days. No one may know about this place and, accordingly, no one will interfere or disturb. This can be not only a separate apartment, but even a person with whom you want to be alone and take a break from accumulated problems. That is, a reboot process occurs.
What to do?
Personal rules
- First of all, write a list of the rules you live by. Then carefully review each point. Are you satisfied with everything? It’s clear, since you live like this, you’re most likely happy with it, but the question is a little different: what exactly causes the feeling of tension, irritation or confusion? Then think about how you can defend yourself by slightly transforming these rules.
- The next time you are communicating with someone and notice that something is wrong, take a break, for example, when you go to the toilet, and think about what exactly affected you, that you reacted with anger, resentment, etc. When you understand, add another limiter to the list of rules.
- Remember the situations when you felt discomfort, write them down and come up with your own stop word for each. Because, in the so-called “field conditions”, when you have not yet particularly learned to defend yourself, you may get confused and not react properly. But when you have a reaction template prepared in advance, then at first it will be much easier to cope with the manipulations of others.
Let's say your family is trying to influence you to do something as they see fit. You can stock up on the following phrase: “Thank you for taking care of me, but I know what I should do.”
Or on weekends, not only don’t do work, but also don’t talk about it with loved ones. Saturday-Sunday are days dedicated to family. After 22:00 do not answer calls. It's time to relax. Then they will stop bothering you over trifles, knowing that the phone is turned off. Do not talk about politics, as it leads to conflicts that you are tired of. In general, is the meaning clear? Thanks to your own rules, you can protect yourself from the unnecessary stress that every intrusion into your space is sure to cause.
Feelings
- Learn to talk about your feelings. First, study what they are, because in fact, there are a lot of them. Then, if you feel discomfort and pressure, talk about it. Then you will be yourself. When you don’t do this, it’s certainly scary. Even if boundaries have always been broken, it is never too late to start building them.
- Even if a loved one asks you for something, and when you agree, you feel tension – this is already a violation of your personal zone. Be attentive to your feelings. The article “The best techniques and phrases for politely refusing a person’s services” will help you learn to protect yourself from manipulation.
Contact zones
- When in public places, try to study your zones, at what distance do you feel comfortable letting different people in? And then you will be able to regulate your state by moving away or approaching intentionally. And next time it will be clearer where anxiety or irritation during communication comes from, and how to cope with it.
- Do not forget that other people also have the right to be separate, and if you want your preferences or prohibitions to be taken into account, you should not react with offense when encountering the restrictions of even a very close person. For example, there is a stereotype that men are strong and can cope with any problems for the sake of the woman they love, even working without rest. But, like any person, the opportunity to relax and recover is vital. And everyone does it in their own way. Some are fishing, some are crocheting, or just looking at the ceiling. Therefore, it is necessary to allow him to “take off his armor” and approach himself in a way that is comfortable for him.
The value of inner peace
To make it easier to defend yourself, imagine that a person covered in dirt is trying to get into your favorite house, car or office, in general, a place you love, saying that he will come in for just a couple of minutes. And you look at it and understand that then it will take a very long time to clean and wash everything after it. What will you do? Most likely, ask to leave, and they will return clean. Right?
You won’t be ashamed to say that dirt drips from it onto your clean floor or rug? Why then do you treat your soul differently? Why do you allow it to get dirty and leave marks that cannot be washed off?
Almost any invasion can be anticipated by taking care of yourself in advance. As I said before, it is stupid to leave the front door open at night and hope that no one dares to trespass on someone else's property.
Don't want to solve work issues in your free time? Do not answer calls if you see that they are dialing from the office. Are you angry that your friends keep waking you up in the middle of the night? Turn off the sound and the problem is solved. No one is obliged to care about your comfort. This is only your responsibility. And if it is violated all the time, think about why you allow it and how exactly.
Zoning of personal space2
One's own zone is a person's desire to sometimes be away from the proximity of other people. For example, sometimes on a bus you can notice that a person chooses a seat in such a way that no one sits next to him. He is so comfortable and comfortable. Own space is divided into intimate, personal, social and public zones.
If you extend your arm, the intimate area will be located. This is approximately half a meter. The intimate personal zone includes the family and closest people: children, parents, relatives, spouse.
The personal zone covers a radius of half a meter to one and a half meters. This includes friends, as well as well-known people.
The radius of the social zone ranges from one and a half to four meters. It is the most distant zone in space related to the individual.
Spatial behavior depending on gender, age and status
Human behavior largely depends on environmental conditions, landscape features, the nature of the distribution of valuable resources in space, as well as on the characteristics of the surrounding social environment. An integral part of human daily activity is spatial behavior. Let us dwell on the analysis of the general patterns of this behavior and consider the main factors influencing its character.
Human spatial behavior is studied by the special science of proxemics. The term proxemics was introduced by E. Hall. It means “the study of personal and public space and how a person perceives it, and the way in which a person unconsciously structures his microspace, maintaining a distance from another person in the course of everyday interactions.”
