What is atychiphobia and how to overcome the fear of failure?

Everyone is afraid of failure, but for some, failure is akin to a pothole in the road (passed and forgotten), and for others, it is a tragedy on an ancient Greek scale. After a fiasco, such “tragics” experience strong disappointment, anger, regret, and shame for a very long time. Gradually, negative emotions develop into a fear of failure - atychiphobia. It is better to free yourself from an unpleasant phobia together with a specialist.

What is atychiphobia

A certain category of people cannot accept failures in their lives. As a result, they experience a certain fear, they are afraid that the situation may repeat itself again. Such a phobia quickly captures human attention and completely takes over the mind. This causes some physical and mental discomfort.

Fear of failure is one of the most common phobias. Atychiphobia is destructive. Fear is formed through interaction with society. The individual is influenced by the social environment. A person may simply refuse to try to repeat something that could potentially bring health, happiness, or success.

People who have atychiphobia do not want to do anything. They believe that any action leads to failure. Gradually, self-confidence is lost and self-esteem decreases. Such individuals experience a constantly elevated level of anxiety. They are not interested in moving up the career ladder or self-improvement. The combination of such factors inevitably leads to depression.

Characteristic manifestations

A person is frightened by any assignments. He's afraid he'll fail

There is no desire to take on any business due to expected failure. In this case, the following symptoms accompanying fear will be present:

  • burning in the chest;
  • labored breathing;
  • dyspnea;
  • tachycardia;
  • abdominal cramps;
  • attacks of nausea;
  • increased sweating;
  • irritability, which alternates with stoppage;
  • nervous excitability;
  • lack of adequate perception of temperature; in a hot room he will shiver, and in a cold room he will become hot.

Atychiphobia can significantly complicate a person’s personal life and professional activities, drive a person into a corner, and turn him into a lonely, insecure person.

Causes and forms of fear

Fear of failure can arise for a variety of reasons. The most common is negative experiences in the past. A person tends to draw conclusions from only one case or fact. Such people think that if they fail in one thing, then it will accompany them throughout their lives. Stereotypical thinking does not allow a person to develop and move on.

Please note that fear of failure is often associated with assessing an individual’s performance based on the final result. It does not take into account the individual qualities and characteristics of specific people. A person simply begins to apply labels, instead of understanding the situation, sensibly assessing his skills and talents, the reasons for wrong actions or public assessment.

The main causes of atychiphobia include:

  1. negative reaction of adults to the child’s failures (many fears appear before reaching the age of 7);
  2. it happens that a person listens to insults or ridicule addressed to him (most often such problems arise in educational institutions, in clubs and sections);
  3. social fears can be imposed by society (a person is dictated that he must constantly be better than others, standards are imposed).

Fear of failure has several manifestations. For example, in terms of the form of expression, it can be an individual’s refusal and self-isolation, sabotage, immobilization, perfectionism, low self-esteem and uncertainty.

How to stop being afraid of failures

Any fears can be overcome, no matter how strong they may be, you just need to put in some effort.

What you need to do for this:

Understand the reason for fear

Understand your thoughts, sort them out and figure out what is causing your fear. Can this reason come true or is there no need to worry at all?

Lead the day's success

Record the results achieved, carefully document all positive changes and how quickly they were achieved. In this way, you can create the impression of a person who can solve any problem and achieve any goal.

Resist Fear

Find something that can resist fear; these are the personal qualities that prevent unpleasant expectations from being realized.

Understand that failure is a learning experience.

It is important that mistakes are perceived not as terrible failures, but as an accumulation of experience, because they are inevitable, and it is necessary to benefit from them.

Read more: Irritability: 5 tips to combat negative feelings

Don't be afraid of new things

There is no need to be afraid of something new when achieving results, because this can confirm your own worth. Knowledge must always be updated and improved.

Types of Fear of Failure

Atychiphobia is most often expressed as refusal and self-isolation. Such a person does not want to participate in projects and activities that cause difficulty. In this way, he looks for a comfort zone for himself in order to avoid possible failure and setbacks in life.

When an individual exhibits sabotage, then at the subconscious level he cancels out all his efforts. Deadlines are often missed, and deadlines for completing assignments are delayed.

When immobilized, a person finds complete peace, he is inactive. The personality is not interested in development, there is nothing to strive for. If there is self-doubt and low self-esteem, then people look for an excuse that they simply do not have the skills, talents and abilities.

If a person is a perfectionist, then at the pathological level he wants to be the best, no matter in what area. Serious psychological problems can arise here, the functioning of the nervous system is disrupted, since such situations in life are often associated with stress.

The symptoms of fear of failure are identical to any other phobia. The main ones are:

  1. difficulty breathing;
  2. cardiopalmus;
  3. increased nervous excitability;
  4. irritability;
  5. heavy sweating.

When a phobia occurs, a person begins to tremble and may lose consciousness. In some cases, qualified medical assistance is needed.

Simple exercises against fear of failure

Some simple exercises can also help combat the fear of failure.

When the fear of losing sets in, let’s drive it away with deep breathing.

Making fear go away is not at all difficult. We proceed like this:

  1. Fear makes breathing quick and short. We return everything to normal with the help of deep, slow breaths.
  2. We slowly inhale oxygen through the nose for 5–10 seconds. We do this with the diaphragm, so that during inhalation and exhalation it is the abdominal cavity that moves, not the chest cavity.
  3. We also exhale carbon dioxide slowly through the nose. Let's exhale completely!

We repeat this simple exercise until the fear of failure is gone. This will happen quickly - in 5 minutes maximum.

Fear tenses your muscles. If you relax them, fear will instantly loosen its grip:

  • alternately tense and relax different muscle groups;
  • We start with the feet, then move higher - to the calves, thighs, stomach. We “go through” the whole body.

Fear of failure: ways of expressing it

It is important to know not only how to overcome the fear of failure, but also what it is expressed in. This phobia has different manifestations. A person refuses to participate in events where there will be new people, new events and places. He is not interested in trying new dishes or learning languages. Sabotage is activated. Most often it manifests itself on a subconscious level, a person may not even know about it. The individual deliberately hesitates, is lazy, worries too much, and finds dozens of other more important things to do. So he expects failure, does not believe in his own strength, that success is achievable.

This category of people is characterized by low self-esteem. They have no confidence in themselves and their own abilities. A person constantly argues that in order to get started, you need to have special skills and talents, and does not strive to comprehend them. Men usually think that they are unworthy of women because of their financial status and appearance. As a result, the individual misses out on success in his personal life and loses his career.

Some people want to be the best at everything they do. As soon as they fail, motivation drops to zero. It is impossible to achieve the ideal.

Atychiphobia is an internal fear. A person cannot realize it; only after analyzing the situation can he come to the conclusion that there is a fear of failure. After this, the individual begins to think about how to overcome fear.

Ways to fight

The most effective are psychotherapeutic methods of influence.

  1. Psychological modeling. This method of treatment should be carried out under the strict supervision of a psychotherapist. The doctor, together with the patient, simulates a situation that ends in failure. The specialist and the patient discuss what emotions are currently prevailing in him, write everything down on paper, and describe his behavior. Next comes information processing, analysis and selection of alternatives for the body’s response to stress. By modeling situations, each time the patient develops the desired model of behavior. There comes an understanding that failures must be met with dignity, that it is necessary to take risks and experience something new. After consolidation in theory, they move on to practical exercises.
  2. Group classes. A very effective method for treating atychiphobia. Working with people who have similar problems produces a beneficial effect. Patients discuss their emotions, errors are processed, and tasks are given in pairs. A person with low self-esteem who has given up a normal social life acquires aspirations and new goals. Upon completion of the training, patients decide to take on new activities. Life is filled with adventures and there are no phobias.

why are there failures?

Fear of failure appears in childhood. Many parents do not know how to properly raise their child. They do not know how to control their own emotions and often lower their children’s self-esteem. As soon as a child makes a mistake, adults immediately begin a psychological attack against him, which is often accompanied by physical violence. Such parents need to think for themselves how to overcome the fear of failure, since they were raised in the same way.

Children constantly pass situations through themselves and model them. They copy the rules of behavior in society, and as teenagers they begin to imitate other more successful people. In the situation described above, parents are prone to self-reflection; they have a heightened emotional background. Instead of explaining to the child how to behave correctly in a given situation, they experience anger, malice, and aggression. All this multiplies and prevents the development of positive thinking and self-confidence.

How to overcome the fear of failure? First of all, you don’t need to focus on failures and cut yourself off from the outside world. You need to think about how you can fix a specific problem. The fact that a person feels paralyzed during a stressful situation means only one thing: in childhood, in such cases, psychological pressure was exerted on him, the mechanism of numbness was triggered, and the child was seized with fear.

It is important to ask the child how he sees the solution to the problem, what to do to avoid repeating the failure in the future. This is how a creative personality is brought up; she can overcome any difficulties.

Dealing with errors

Mistakes are a way to achieve success. There is no other way than making mistakes. Atychiphobia occurs in communities where people compete for certain rewards. Those who dream of starting a business are afraid of failure, so they never take action. Fear of failure or failure is a common reason why people don't achieve their goals.

Successful people are those who have made more mistakes than others. In an idealistic mind, a successful person is one who does not make mistakes. This is true now, but before he tried to perform an action many times and made mistakes, and based on his failures he developed a new way to solve the problem, like an athlete in training. Mistakes belong to the learning zone. By making a mistake, a person just learns. It is important to shift the situation from self-reflection to possibilities. The following techniques will help you do this:

  • Training to switch consciousness. Catch yourself thinking when you feel shame and guilt. As soon as you begin to catch these states, you will be able to stop and switch from self-criticism to the ability to look for opportunities in the outside world. Become your own parent so you can switch in reverse order.
  • Openness of the subconscious. The fear of failure lies deep in the subconscious. It is possible to rewrite the program of the subconscious in the morning immediately after waking up and before going to bed. After awakening, consciousness does not immediately turn on; this is the time for the subconscious to act. At these moments, say phrases out loud to write a new program into the subconscious and form a new attitude towards mistakes. These phrases are: “it’s normal to make mistakes”, “everyone has the right to make mistakes, and I also have the right to make mistakes”, “I’m afraid of mistakes, but admitted mistakes become experience, and experience is valuable”, “I allow myself to gain experience” .
  • Cancellation of failure. There are no failures in the world, only experience. On the way to the goal, experience and knowledge are acquired. The more experience, the greater the chances of living a fruitful life. Those who take action get results, so it is important to erase the word “failure.”

Conduct research on the undesirable result, work on mistakes, so that next time you can get the desired result and set the next task.

are haunted by failures: what to do

Any fear is destructive in nature. Fear of failure leads to negative consequences, so it is important to look for ways to overcome fear. First of all, you need to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, since atychiphobia affects your personal life and professional activities. It will be difficult to overcome fear at the pathological level on your own.

To get rid of fear on your own, you can resort to the following methods:

  1. It is important to try to remember a situation where success was achieved or luck smiled. You need to record such thoughts. Then draw a parallel with the moments where the fear of failure appeared, and comprehend the reasons for its occurrence. It is possible that the responsibility was too much for the person; the parents were too demanding of the child.
  2. In order to avoid atychiphobia, experts advise planning your activities. You can describe each of the stages when completing a task assigned to yourself or other people. Positive results should be recorded on paper. This way the results can be easily predicted. The individual knows what he needs to achieve success.
  3. In some situations, you need to refuse other people if there is uncertainty in completing the task. You shouldn't take thoughtless risks. If the result is negative, the fear of failure will only intensify.
  4. If possible, it is better to assess the risks of refusing an order. A missed chance is not always a failure. Sometimes this preserves health and peace of mind, which is much more important.
  5. If you are afraid of failure, experts advise to always have backup options. This is a kind of safety net; you can quickly change your plans and adjust your strategy in your favor.
  6. Determination is another key to success. While waiting, the feeling of fear intensifies, trembling and a panic attack appear. You shouldn’t drive yourself into a dead end; it’s important to think through ways of retreat.

It’s better to adjust yourself to the fact that failures are an integral part of life, all people go through it. Every problem has options to solve it.

Psychologists recommend including introspection and studying your strengths and weaknesses. You need to constantly work on improving your own skills. At each stage, it is worth noting successes and mistakes that will need to be corrected in the future.


Loss of confidence and motivation lead to depression and then to more serious mental disorders. Those suffering from atychiphobia experience a number of physiological manifestations:

  • Nausea.
  • Nervousness.
  • Shortness of breath.
  • Weakness.
  • Heavy sweating.
  • Stomach upset.

These signs come into play when people are faced with the possibility of failure in a task that they believe cannot be completed successfully.

Methods to combat atychiphobia

How to overcome the fear of failure? Is it possible to completely get rid of a phobia? The answer is unequivocal - yes. First of all, you need to work on yourself; if such a need arises, then be sure to contact a psychotherapist. A qualified specialist will help you remove the fear of failure from your life and show you how you can believe in yourself. If a person cannot cope with such a problem, then in life he will be lack of initiative and ineffective.

You can get rid of a phobia yourself using the following methods:

  1. Think more often about why something works and why something doesn’t. We need to remember exactly when the biggest failure occurred and what it was associated with. It may happen that the person himself was not to blame, external circumstances just happened that way. There is no need to reproach yourself for this.
  2. The unknown is another cause of atychiphobia. It is worth collecting as much information as possible about upcoming events. This will create a feeling of confidence, a place to analyze risks and options for the development of events.
  3. It is important to maintain a positive mindset. You need to constantly convince yourself that any business will end in success. Any negative result is also an achievement. It's okay to gain experience. Thanks to him, people rise to the top of fame and become professionals in their field.

Reasons for fear of losing

A small child is not ashamed of mistakes. Kids fall, get up and willingly fall again. But as children get older, they begin to pay attention to the evaluations of others. “Public opinion” destroys the child’s inherent fearlessness. Getting up after “falling” in the eyes of others becomes increasingly difficult.

Critical parents and a school with overly strict teachers also create fears of failure.

The fear of not succeeding haunts perfectionist individuals who tend to look for mistakes in their own work and try to do everything “better than Steve Jobs.”

Stereotypic thinking is another typical cause of atychiphobia. After any failure, people who are prone to generalizations think that they are born “losers.” Such stereotypical conclusions drive a person into the dead end of atychiphobia.

How to overcome panic

Fear of failure in children and adults is usually accompanied by panic. In order to get rid of fear as quickly as possible, you should realize that you really are in panic. This phenomenon causes certain reactions in the body that make it difficult to concentrate on anything. Among these symptoms, special attention should be paid to:

  • rapid heartbeat;
  • difficulty breathing, feeling of lack of oxygen;
  • excessive sweating;
  • trembling hands;
  • nausea;
  • headache and dizziness.

To overcome panic, you first need to understand that there is no reason for this strange feeling. To effectively and quickly get rid of it, you need to start breathing as deeply and slowly as possible. As practice shows, in most cases, during panic, a person breathes very quickly and abruptly. You need to learn to control your breathing so that you can easily switch to a natural rhythm.

Positive thinking in the fight against phobias

It also doesn't hurt to relax all your muscles. This condition will only speed up the process of overcoming panic, and in the future it will help get rid of the fear of failure.

Remember that mastery comes with time

One day, the already elderly Pablo Picasso was sitting in a cafe and drawing something on a napkin. He did not notice with what awe the woman sitting next to him was looking at him. A couple of minutes later, the master finished his coffee, crumpled up the piece of paper and waved it to throw it into the trash bin. The movement was interrupted by a question:

—Can I keep the napkin? — the woman reacted instantly. - I will cry.

“Of course,” answered the artist. — It will cost you 20 thousand dollars.

- Excuse me, how much? You made the drawing in just two minutes.

“No, madam,” Picasso retorted. — It took me more than 60 years to do this.

Picasso lived to be 91 years old. He died in 1973 and by that time had accumulated an impressive capital. His creative legacy has become famous throughout the world. The total number of works approached 50 thousand, including paintings, drawings, sculptures, ceramics, prints and tapestries.

Over the course of many decades, Picasso honed his craft and eventually reached the point where he would value a sloppy quick sketch at a fortune, or at least make a good joke about it. In any case, the moral is clear: mastery comes with time. Therefore, in any business you have to practice tirelessly.

And to do this, you should not slow down or give up, even if failure occurs. Failures should become part of your comfort.

Necessary afterword

Thus, fear of failure is irrational. Failure will not put an end to the one who made a mistake - only the one who does nothing makes no mistakes. Failure is not a reason for worry and self-pity mixed with paranoia about the reaction of others, but an indicator that indicates the need for further development. Failure is simply a lack of knowledge, experience, motivation and level of effort, all of which can be corrected.


  1. A person must sort out his thoughts himself and identify those factors that contribute to the fear of failure.
  2. A person should try to identify in himself exactly those character qualities that cause fear of failure, as well as those that impede movement towards the goal.
  3. You need to learn to perceive failures and unsuccessful attempts to achieve a goal as some kind of valuable experience that may be able to help in the future.
  4. To increase self-esteem, you should always write down your achievements in your goals. This approach will be a good impetus for future ideas and tasks.
  5. There is no need to be afraid to add something new to your existing knowledge. This will allow a person who has set a goal not only to move forward, but also to constantly improve himself in his business.
  6. There is no need to take on a large number of things at once. It is better to do everything in order, starting small. This approach will make large and difficult-to-solve cases more accessible and easier, which will certainly bring excellent results.

In conclusion, it must be said that a person will never be able to live without any fears, but one must always strive to overcome them, because otherwise everything that a person would not conceive will collapse before his eyes and he will remain sitting at the “broken trough."


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The psychology of failure, or the art of falling: how to relax and have fun

On the SmartProgress blog, we've already talked about the joys of procrastination, the psychology of goal setting, and our brain's response to multitasking.
Now is the time to talk about what we all face and fear. About failures. Defeats cannot be a pleasant experience, and, unfortunately, we are not able to foresee everything and completely isolate ourselves from them. But we have the power to learn to control ourselves. To do this, you just need to understand what happens in our consciousness and subconscious when we fail. Astonishing as it may seem, our mind fools us into believing things that are far from reality. It is very important to be able to distinguish truth from deception and transform your failures into valuable (albeit bitter) experience.

First, let's discuss a couple of amazing facts about how failures change our perception of reality, and figure out why our subconscious often plays cruel jokes on us.

Making a mountain out of a mountain...

After we fail, our failed goal seems much less attainable.
Eloquent confirmation of this phenomenon were the results of studies conducted by American psychologists. A group of people were given the task of hitting the ball against the crossbar of a goal, while the field on which the research took place remained unmarked. Remarkably, for those who failed, the bar appeared further and higher from them than it actually was - and than it was seen by those people who successfully completed the task.

In other words, failure automatically distorts our perception of our goals, making them seem more out of reach than we previously imagined. It's amazing how our assessment differs from reality.

Elephant and pug

The most offensive thing is that we fool ourselves not only by overestimating our goals, but also by underestimating ourselves. The bitterness of failure affects our self-perception: we begin to underestimate the level of our abilities and intelligence in our own eyes, we believe that we do not have enough talent or certain moral qualities to achieve our goals. It is not true!

Chain Reaction, Or How Our Brain Works When We Fail


When they fail, most people feel helpless. Why does this happen? The fact is that we receive psychological trauma, and our mind, in response to this trouble, without asking permission, begins to take measures, trying to isolate us from further pain. How? It makes us feel completely hopeless and lose faith that we are even capable of doing anything to succeed in the task at which we failed. This is how our consciousness protects us from further failures. Only here there is one side effect that Mother Nature clearly did not take into account: along with the danger of defeat, such a scenario also deprives us of the possibility of success.


Having failed just once, we can develop a chronic subconscious fear of failure. Some people believe that they are “afraid of success.” They make mistakes - in fact, they are afraid of failure, although this is not easy to admit. The huge problem with fears is that most of them are subconscious. Therefore, we are unable to evaluate them, to understand whether they are real, reasonable or completely irrational. And we can, without even realizing it, avoid everything that is associated not only with potential failure, but also with potential success.

Fear of failure is contagious

Yes, it may come as a surprise, but fear of failure is contagious. And parents pass it on to their children. People who themselves are afraid of defeats tend to react nervously to the failures of their children - and the latter subconsciously begin to perceive failure as something unacceptable.

Chain reaction

Thus, our minds, with the “best intentions,” force us to do things that will make us unhappy in the long run, although they are designed to protect us from the unpleasant emotions associated with failure.
A striking example of this is subconscious self-sabotage. For those who are unfamiliar with this term, I can assure you that most of us have encountered this at least once in our lives, and some have even achieved a certain mastery in this unusual matter. Self-sabotage is a pattern of human behavior in which he contradicts himself and prevents him from achieving his own goals. Have you ever experienced confusion when you want to do something, but on the other hand, you find a lot of reasons for procrastination? Here we should add disbelief in oneself and in one’s bright future, and often envy of other, more successful homo sapiens.

Then the person comes up with excuses for his failure and creates situations that can both justify his defeat in his own eyes and protect him from the condemnation of others. This may include exaggerating the importance of some side tasks, making decisions that obviously interfere with success. We also cannot do without “hardcore”: psychosomatic symptoms such as exaggerated stomach pain and headaches are what we direct at ourselves in search of the desired “distraction” that will prevent us from moving towards our goal.

For example, a student who wants to pass an exam, but plays the fool until the last moment, and then goes to a party on the evening before the “judgment day”, is engaged in nothing more than self-sabotage. And he has an explanation for why he will fail the exam - he had too much fun and didn't sleep enough.

This is the irony, my friends, - subconsciously we want to protect ourselves from failures, but we doom ourselves to them. As a result, we have no choice but to take everything into our own hands.

How to deal with it

Failure is dangerous because failure makes us believe in our own helplessness - this is exactly what most people feel. Failure can greatly overwhelm us, make us feel hopeless, give rise to both conscious and subconscious fears, and cause anxiety. But we can take the hit. You just need to choose the right weapon.

A New Look at Failure – Learn to Fail

Get it into your head that those peaks that you wanted to achieve, but failed, remained where they were before your failure. All that has changed is your perception and attitude towards them. So we need to try to believe in ourselves again and get rid of the veil that prevents us from seeing the obvious: we took a step and stumbled, we hit bumps and gained experience, and maybe even moved forward a little. At the same time, our goal did not take off and did not disappear over the ocean - it did not become more difficult, the road to it did not become more thorny than it was before our fall.

It's time to get up and try again - and maybe our previous bitter experiences can save us from some failures in the future. Try to perceive failure as a lesson that will help us achieve success in the future.

You need to know your enemy by sight

To do this, you need to carefully study the task that you failed. Break it down into those aspects that you can control and those that do not depend on you. Then go through the list of things you can't control and think about what you need to do to get them under control. Maybe careful planning, connections, preparation, additional knowledge or skills will help you? Then focus your attention on all the things you can change. This will be a good antidote to helplessness and depression, which will speed up the healing of mental wounds caused by failure and help you achieve success.


If you failed on the way to your dream, it does not mean that you are unworthy of it. Perhaps you just needed to break it down into tasks that, step by step, will bring you closer to what you want. You can read about the art of goal setting here.


This is the next stage. Since the previous scheme of actions failed you, now you need to carefully plan your new path to the goal, taking into account the pitfalls that you have already encountered. Don't forget about Plan B - perhaps it was the lack of it that led to your failure. If you think through the methods of retreat in advance, then the fall will not turn out to be something tragic - it will simply be a transition from one tactic to another.


People will help you overcome fears and cope with worries, gain faith in yourself and see the path to your goal.
Contact your loved ones, those people who have achieved success in what you were burned by. They will help you understand that failure is normal and we all make mistakes. Try working with a coach or find yourself a mentor. They will teach you to get up after falling and move on. For some reason, many people think that they don’t need outside help - but this is not true, it is much easier for us to achieve our goals in a team of like-minded people who will motivate us to new achievements. In the vastness of SmartProgress you will find thousands of stories of people who, despite failures, managed to achieve their goals - precisely thanks to a good plan and the support of other people. Which means you can do it too!

Upgrading skills is a plus for karma

Oddly enough, human willpower can be compared to muscles - without proper exercise, it atrophies, and when overexerted, it requires rest.
Our brain needs glucose so that it can not only think clearly, but also have sufficient willpower to fight itself, procrastination and other difficulties. So be aware of how much effort and willpower you exert throughout the day, and remember to take rest breaks and snacks (give your brain some glucose). We hope you found this article helpful. It was based on TED talks by psychologists Guy Winch, Shawn Achor and Kathryn Schulz, as well as publications by Guy Winch.

Find reasons

First of all, in order to learn to overcome the fear of failure, you need to know where it comes from. The best way to do this is to sit down, take a deep breath, and ask yourself when and how your fear of failure developed. Once you see its causes, you will find that your mind's interpretation is far from accurate. The reason for your fear may be caused by overprotective relatives or a particularly strict attitude of certain people. You need to examine your negative thoughts and beliefs, as they have a big impact on the way you live.

Don't take other people's opinions to heart

This is another part of my profession that usually becomes a big problem. You will know exactly what I mean if at least once in your life you have created something and shown it to the whole world.

Positive comments create good emotions. But the situation becomes terrible if negative ones come. Even if you receive at least 100 pleasant reviews, the 101st, negative one will still remain in your memory.


Therefore, do not forget that the statements of other people are externalities that should be treated with a healthy amount of indifference. It’s impossible to please everyone, so don’t scatter your efforts and don’t waste time on pointless attempts.

How fear of defeat works: psychology

First, you need to understand how fear of failure works. And this can be understood using the example of an abstract person subject to this fear.

Imagine an average office worker, with an average income, a mortgage for an apartment, a generally not very fun life - and a lot of opportunities that he can achieve thanks to his personal qualities, with a certain amount of effort. It's worth starting with the fact that he could simply go for a promotion - he has everything necessary for this - but he does not want to, since a higher position leads to higher responsibility. He can quit a not very well-paid job in order to move to a competing company, thereby increasing his income by one and a half times - but he is afraid to write a resume and take such steps, because he is not sure that he will be able to hold on to his new position. He can open his own business, but he is afraid of failures that will shake his already not rosy material well-being.

Therefore, our office worker continues to pay half of his salary every month to pay the mortgage, spending his fourth year on vacation without leaving the city, and enduring conditions that are not the most convenient for himself, being in a psychological comfort zone. Here the office worker is confident in himself, has a stable income and does not doubt the level of his authority among his colleagues. The prerogative of its existence is the proverb about a bird in the hand - although the pie in the sky is just a stone's throw away.

For what reason can an office worker not change his life for the better? Carol Dweck writes about this phenomenon in her book Mindset.

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