I'm afraid of changes in life: 9 tips from a psychologist

How to stop being afraid of changes in life

Change does not happen by itself. Once you take a risk, you can remain happy for the rest of your life.

Man is designed in such a way that drastic changes in life are very frightening. After all, life is much calmer if you have a permanent job, a stable income, and no major changes in the service are expected.

And suddenly it happens that you simply need to move to another city or change your job. Some people start to panic, others perceive the changes with Olympian calm.

The influence of fear of change on a person’s life

Phobias of any origin represent a defensive reaction of the body. Be that as it may, this reaction is based on a sense of self-preservation, insuring oneself from unpleasant sensations and experiences. That is why it cannot be said that fear of change is an exclusively bad feeling.

In some cases, such sensations help to make informed decisions, objectively assess your chances of success in some endeavor, be critical of your capabilities and respond correctly to the situation. Very often, fear of changes in life prevents rash actions that could lead to negative consequences. It adds a bit of common sense and pragmatism in assessing external factors.

Sometimes changes become truly turning points in life, radically changing the perception or interaction with this world. Therefore, it is very important to take them seriously. In some cases, such changes cannot be reversed and resolved differently; often the decision is made once and for all. Thus, fear helps prevent fatal mistakes that a person will regret for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, change is a step towards any change, progress or movement in life. It should be understood that you can freeze in anticipation of active actions on the part of other people or the favor of fate for a very long time. Only by looking fear in the face can you learn to manage your own life, set goals and achieve success. Perhaps some of the steps will be incorrect, but these mistakes are natural and only add to the experience.

Happiness and success very rarely flow into the hands of those who do not take risks and do not make any efforts. Only a series of attempts can ensure results, and failures should be perceived as learning moments, nuances that need to be taken into account next time.

Many successful people have experienced repeated failures on their way to the top of their business. Often they had to risk everything, move far or make other important decisions, and as a result they found what they were looking for. Sometimes fear paralyzes a person’s will, affects the ability to soberly assess the situation and puts many obstacles on the way to the goal. Only after overcoming it can you confidently step towards the future and not be afraid of any circumstances.

Doubts can cause significant difficulties in an individual’s social life, hinder friendships, romantic relationships, creating a family, and career advancement. A person gets used to established conditions, fits into the routine schedule of the day and reacts very sharply to attempts to change anything.

Some social interactions require change, such as forming friendships, love relationships, marriage, or having children. Usually they are concomitant for happiness, but fear can neutralize all plans and leave a person alone for a long time.

Get out of your comfort zone more often

Who is haunted by the fear of new things? People who rarely leave their comfort zone are afraid of change. You need to make a rule for yourself: every week, do something that you are afraid to do. For example, if you don’t know how and don’t like to communicate with people, go to a club or any social event. Make new acquaintances at the party and try to open up to a stranger. Such experience will be very valuable. You will understand that there is nothing wrong with approaching a person and getting to know him. It will be scary at first, but once you talk to strangers and realize that they are nice people, you will be able to easily find a common language with anyone.

If you are haunted by a fear of change, then try doing crazy things. For example, jump with a parachute. It's not as scary as it seems. Choose a good flying club and sign up for a consultation with an experienced instructor. By overcoming fear, you can feel more confident and understand that if you were able to decide on such a crazy act, then you can easily cope with any other task.

The main reasons for the development of fear of change

The root of this problem lies deep in the subconscious, perhaps it has been there since childhood.
At some point, natural defense mechanisms that do not allow a person to make rash decisions block the path to a new life. An individual experiences comfort only in familiar surroundings, routine situations, and any changes provoke a range of negative reactions. The cause of fear may be a psychologically traumatic situation that literally “knocked you out of balance” and significantly changed your way of existence. Such changes remain in children's memory for a long time as the worst event that changed their worldview. Kids evaluate everything that happened before as good, and everything after as bad. For example, a tragedy in the family or the divorce of parents radically changes the child’s perception of this world. They are faced with a powerful external factor of unknown origin, which destroys their ideals, a normal and harmonious life.

Such feelings can remain for a very long time and cause real trouble in adult life. After such a traumatic factor, a person tries to recreate conservative, constant conditions that do not change, and this is the only way he can feel comfortable. Any external influence is perceived as undesirable, even if it brings positive changes.

In addition, the reason for the development of such fear may be the personal characteristics of each person. Significant signs that are most likely to contribute to fear of new things can be taken into account.

Character traits against which fear of change often develops:

Conservatism
. Tendency to ideological attachment to established values, traditions, conditions of real life, reluctance to change anything.
Indecisiveness
. Suspicion, uncertainty in choosing next steps or making important decisions, suspiciousness.
Anxiety
. A constant feeling of impending danger, tension and the inability to discover something new.
Low self-esteem
. Feeling unable to make any changes in life. Often a person believes that there is no need to change everything for the better, because the existing circumstances suit him.
Inability to break your comfort zone
. If an individual creates a barrier around himself to protect himself from external influences, he himself will have to face the difficulty of crossing this border.

Often the reason for the formation of a fear of change can be a not very successful experience or a failed attempt to change something for the better.
The average person immediately gives up and considers his chances of success extremely low. Moreover, after this you don’t want to try again, especially if previous attempts were accompanied by a feeling of discomfort. This happens due to the fact that a person’s perception literally freezes on one unfortunate moment, without advertising many positive ones. Such one-sided judgment can cause fear of changes in life.

Raise your self-esteem

Self-confidence is a quality that will help you look into the future not only with hope, but also with a smile. A person who knows his strengths and is confident in his abilities will not suffer from a fear of change. What do you call a person who hides from others all the time and is afraid to change something in his life? Jonah. This is what others will call you if you complain about your existence all the time, but don’t change anything. Before you perform any feats, you need to work on yourself and your inner feeling. Boost your self-esteem. How to do it? Write down on a piece of paper all your strengths, as well as all your achievements. Then write down your shortcomings. Do something every day to overcome your fears and inhibitions. And also don’t forget to read about your successes and personality strengths. Don't let anyone call you a failure. Act like a confident person and try to feel like you really are one. Over time, you will get used to high self-esteem, and it will become your standard form of self-awareness.

Signs that a person has a fear of change

This type of fear has similar principles to other phobias and often occurs before relevant events or situations.
For example, a person quite normally led a bachelor lifestyle or dated someone without realizing the fear of change. At some point there was talk of a wedding, and the symptoms became obvious. Without particularly compelling reasons, an individual begins to be terribly afraid of marriage and resist it in every possible way. Naturally, he does not find any significant and valid reasons for himself, but he still feels an insurmountable discomfort in front of a new life.

In general, fear of upcoming changes can be divided into two categories: fear of changes in the external conditions of life, fear of changes in the person himself.

Many important decisions and changes in life entail a change in environmental conditions, relationships with friends, acquaintances and loved ones, a new set of responsibilities or rights. A person in such a state perceives everything new as an additional burden that needs to get used to. The mood is not always so optimistic, and an internal struggle begins to restore former ideals, stability and conservatism.

If the average person realizes that impending changes can change him, such fear becomes quite powerful. Internal comfort is valued much more than external conditions. A sensitive person will perceive this as a threat to himself, an attempt to change his character, feelings, habits. There is often a feeling that he is losing himself, the ability to control his life activities.

A striking example of the second category of fear is the birth of a child. From the moment a woman finds out about pregnancy, the burden of enormous responsibility immediately hangs the corresponding labels, the subconscious justifies a lot of prohibitions and builds a new life plan for which she was not prepared. Pregnancy can be accompanied by a rather strong fear of change, since the birth of a baby is an extremely important and responsible event.

In a situation of impending change, a person begins to try on upcoming roles, tries to build an idea of what will happen and how much everything will change. For people who are afraid of changes in life, these processes cause real discomfort.

Like many other phobias, fear of change can be accompanied by somatic manifestations:

Dyspnea;
Palpable palpitations;
Cardialgia (heart pain);
Shiver;
Absent-mindedness;
Stupor;
Dizziness or pain in the temples;
Increased sweating;
Numbness of fingertips.

These symptoms are nonspecific and can occur with many other conditions and diseases.
However, it is with their help that one can diagnose phobias in a person. Internal mental signs may vary depending on the individual and the way they respond to fear. Typically, symptoms range from confusion and anxiety to a panic attack with negative consequences.

Here is a small rating of changes that are feared or expected

Changes they fear:

change of management in the organization where you work;
divorce;
the opportunity to remain alone (alone);
reduction or dismissal;
change of political power in the country;
moving to another country;
fear of losing shape for athletes and other public people;
change in appearance for the worse, especially for women;
large loan or mortgage.

Changes expected:

promotion at work;
the beginning of a joint (family) life;
birth of a child;
getting an apartment;
buying a new car;
a trip to a new country - in general, any trip.

Of course, this division is very arbitrary, because a lot depends on a person’s attitude towards life, on whether he is an optimist or a pessimist. For some, a promotion ends in a nervous breakdown, because a change in functionality is associated with great responsibility, and this entails fear, fear of this very responsibility.

Some people perceive divorce as a tragedy, but for others it is a reason to start a new life. It is no coincidence that the proverb is so widespread: “Everything that is done is for the better.” The main thing is to perceive it correctly, to see the prospect and the opportunity for self-development.

To help ease the stress of change, try the following tips.

How to overcome the fear of change

Every new event in life, which is fraught with any changes, contains both negative and positive aspects.
Sometimes it is impossible to predict what the consequences will be, but without trying, you won’t be able to know the result. This does not mean that you need to mindlessly take risks and test your luck, but openness to new things can change your life for the better. People who find such feelings truly preventing them from achieving their goals and living a full social life need to know how to overcome their fear of change. Since this pathology is not included in the main list of serious diseases, it should not be treated pharmacologically. Drugs can only aggravate symptoms and even cause addiction in such sensitive individuals.

The main methods of dealing with the fear of change are psychological techniques. They allow you to correctly assess upcoming changes, formulate behavioral tactics, and disassemble into pieces the reasons for such unpleasant sensations.

Often the fear of change causes a lot of trouble and discomfort for the patient himself, who is quite critical of his condition. Therefore, you should pay attention to very simple but effective methods of influencing this type of phobia:

Lists
. Any upcoming event has its pros and cons. For proper assessment, you can write them in two separate columns. By formulating your thoughts and the possible consequences of change, you can realize that in fact everything is not at all what it seemed at first glance.
Seize the moment
. You should understand the uniqueness of each chance and opportunity. If now all the chances for success have miraculously converged, it is very undesirable to miss it. There may not be another possibility.
Analysis
. If there is a fear of new changes, perhaps there were similar situations once. When a person realizes what he is refusing or has refused, and what could have happened if not for cowardice, the chances of ignoring the phobia in the present significantly improve.
Orientation
. Often, when an individual is afraid of change, he sees only its negative side, and he notices this only from his point of view. In order to correctly assess your situation and act as objectively as possible, you can look at everything through the eyes of another. By imagining yourself in his place, you can get rid of fears and see the real picture of what is happening.
Plans
. A person needs to accurately determine for himself whether he needs to get rid of the fear of change. In most cases, those who turn to psychologists are those who have made serious mistakes in life because of their fear. It is recommended to determine for yourself the beginning of the period without fear, write down in advance what you have to overcome, and steadily follow the plan.
Look fear in the face
. Sometimes it’s worth turning on a sober, pragmatic mind and boldly moving forward, not paying attention to emotional manifestations. Sooner or later the symptoms will disappear, and the chance will not be lost.

It is important to understand that you cannot spin on one wheel all the time without allowing external factors to affect you.
Life is too valuable to waste and live unchanged. Sometimes people themselves complain that they don’t like their life too much, but continue to do the same thing from day to day. Such inconsistency in one’s own judgments does not allow one to move forward and conquer new horizons. How to get rid of the fear of change - watch the video:
Life is rarely divided into black and white. Any changes can carry both negative consequences and positive results, and their ratio represents a range of life colors. If a person lives with the fear of change, then he does not even open their entire palette, instead of taking a risk and trying.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes

A person must understand that there is no need to be afraid of mistakes. Your wrong or unreasonable actions will help you gain life experience. You shouldn't step on the same rake twice. But you can step on them once. Have you made an unfortunate mistake? Draw a conclusion and move on. A person who is not afraid to make mistakes will never have a phobia of fear of change. It develops among those people who want to do everything perfectly. Fairy tales don't exist. You need to understand that it is good to make mistakes. You won't be able to learn from other people's experiences all the time. You need to hit a lot of bumps in order to find your path and not leave it. Try to perceive everything that happens to you with a smile. Don't beat yourself up. Remember that everything in this life is temporary and nothing is permanent. Today wasn't your best day? Tomorrow the situation will change. Life will get better, and you will remember your mistake with a smile. Think about the problems that seemed like a disaster to you last year. Time has passed, and now you no longer worry about those mistakes. The same will happen with today's problems. Tomorrow they will seem ridiculous to you.

Act immediately, don't wait for the best moment

Do you want something? Don't wait for a better moment, it will never come. Fear of change should not be an obstacle to action. Do you feel motivated to achieve something? As long as the desire for change burns in your soul, it will overcome any fear. Therefore, think about a plan of action and follow it. You don't have to wait until Monday, and often you don't even have to wait until the next morning to start doing something. Always keep a good phrase in mind: people make it their life's dream to achieve something that can be achieved with just a week of hard work.

Types of phobias

Types of neophobia:

technophobia - fear of new technologies;
Gnosiophobia - fear of knowledge and new information;
futurophobia - fear of the future;
ergasiophobia - fear of committing actions;
food neophobia - fear of new foods.

Often, fear of change overcomes an individual in the process of performing his professional duties. People are afraid to enter into a new contract, change their usual business routine, or the algorithm of work responsibilities. Typically, employees who perform their duties for a long time according to established instructions suffer from this phobia.

Fear of change is a mental disorder that prevents a person from achieving high goals and leading an active lifestyle. People who are afraid of everything new have a boring and monotonous life. They are passive, do not trust anyone, and are prone to excessive anxiety and excessive worry. People get hung up on some of their own invented limitations, independently slow down their progress, miss the opportunity to transform their lives, make it richer, better and more comfortable.

The tendency to neophobia only increases with age. Most often it occurs in people over 45 years of age. Children suffer from this disorder extremely rarely.