How to overcome difficulties in life: practical advice

It is unlikely that you will find two people with exactly the same life. Everyone has their own path, ideals, aspirations. But there is one thing in common: problems.

Rich or poor, sick or healthy, a resident of a modern metropolis or a quiet outback - everyone has faced difficulties at some point. And they will collide again and again. Sometimes, weighing down like a heavy burden, problems prevent you from achieving your goals. Coping with them is a human necessity. For some people this comes easily, but for others it doesn’t work out at all. What is the reason and what to do if you don’t feel strong enough to solve problems in your life?

What difficulties might there be?

Life's difficulties can be surmountable or those that people cannot cope with. The latter include natural disasters, armed conflicts, economic and political situations and other similar phenomena. People are unable to cope with them; they only overcome the consequences of such difficulties.

All other difficulties can be divided into the following groups:

• social ills;
• personal and family troubles;
• internal psychological problems;
• various little things in life.

Of course, overcoming emerging difficulties should be approached in accordance with their essence. It is impossible to solve a problem that exists only in the mind using the same methods as difficulties that arise at work.

In any situation, have a plan B

Tune in to the positive, but don’t rule out a bad outcome to the situation. Have several options for the development of events to be prepared for anything. For example, a student doesn’t know physics well and is afraid of a test. This is the most difficult test for him. What to do? Plan A is to try to prevent the problem by reviewing the topics with a classmate. Plan B is to accept the possible bad outcome and figure out how to fix it. For example, get a high grade in the next lesson. The same principle can be applied when searching for a job. If a specialist does not have enough experience and skills, he can either improve them by taking courses, or agree to work from scratch, but for a low salary.

To create a plan “B”, you need to understand the problem, formulate it into tasks, think through ways to solve them and choose the best option. You will learn more about this technique from the video with psychologist and career guidance specialist Adukar Anna Isaenko.

What is meant by social ills?

When thinking about how to overcome difficulties in life, the vast majority of people have in mind various circumstances that complicate it, which, as a rule, are associated with society.

As a rule, such troubles mean the following:

• job loss;
• delay of wages;
• changes in the usual way of life - the need to move, find a place of work, travel somewhere;
• theft of property;
• loan debts;
• house fire;
• flooding of the apartment by neighbors.

Of course, this list can be continued indefinitely. Each person has his own problems and a personal, individual attitude towards them.

What is meant by personal and family troubles?

Personal difficulties are often classified as social ones. For example, if a person is seriously ill and ends up in the hospital, what is the difficulty? Social or personal? On the one hand, the disease is the problem of the person himself, but on the other hand, long-term hospitalization can lead to a number of social difficulties.

Accordingly, this group of problems is located on the border, at the intersection of social and family. Personal difficulties almost always affect the well-being of loved ones and the social aspects of life. This group includes all those problems that arise in one individual.

Every person knows first-hand what family difficulties are from early childhood. This group includes interpersonal conflicts, difficulties in raising children, lack of mutual understanding and much more. In the West, the question of how to overcome difficulties in life of this nature is usually resolved with the help of a family psychotherapist. There is no such tradition in Russia, so people often find themselves powerless in the face of such difficulties.

Don't be too overconfident

Being confident is a good trait of a successful person, but being overly confident is not always healthy. It is a mistake to imagine that you are the only irreplaceable person who should by default have access to all the delights, achievements and awards of the world. The higher you fly, the more painful it is to fall. Any loss in this case will be perceived too painfully. It’s easy to give up, but it’s more difficult to gain strength and start anew. Therefore, evaluate your strength fairly. Giving up volleyball forever without qualifying for the university team is not entirely correct. You can continue training and try again later when you are more prepared physically and mentally.

What is meant by internal problems?

This group unites all those difficulties, the causes of which are in the human mind. For example, such problems include:

• middle age crisis;
• various fears and phobias;
• mania;
• consequences of habits;
• complexes;
• feeling of loneliness.

Of course, this list can be continued and expanded. Let’s say that if a person has problems communicating with others, generated by his complexes, then this is an internal type of life complexity.

What can be considered small things?

This group includes all those events that make up the “black streak”. That is, these are the little things in life that accumulate for a long time, remaining unnoticed, and then appear all at once.

Everyone is familiar with a situation in which troubles seem to pile up, and there is a feeling of helplessness in front of a heap of problems. But if you carefully analyze all the components of the “global catastrophe” separately, it will become obvious that these are just minor troubles that happened one after another.

For example, a person forgot to turn off the light. Going down to the subway, he remembers this and gets upset, and at that moment the turnstile in front of him breaks. As a result, he is late for work, which his boss notices and imposes an administrative penalty or a fine. Of course, the person plunges into a depressed emotional state and begins to wait for other troubles, which, of course, happen. In the evening, a person with doom states that it was simply “not his day.” But in reality, only a series of small accidents occurred; the problem was made of them by human perception.

Qualities that will help you overcome life's difficulties

The ability to easily overcome all obstacles is formed in mature people who are engaged in self-development, because of this their inner spirit becomes stronger. Whatever goal you set for yourself, on the way to achieving it you will encounter many obstacles; it is overcoming them that leads to true success and respect from others.

I will list the main qualities that are necessary to easily get out of a difficult situation:

• strength of will;
• attentiveness;
• durable endurance;
• equilibrium;
• patience.

These qualities develop when performing certain physical exercises. After all, our body and brain are inextricably linked with each other. I will talk about this in more detail below.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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How to change the perception of problems? A universal method for all types of difficulties

There is an old parable about a Jew, a goat and a rabbi. Its essence is that a Jew comes to a rabbi for advice. He asks: “How to overcome difficulties in life?” Of course, following the question, a list of all the problems that bother a person begins: cramped housing, family squabbles, cries of a baby, lack of money. After listening to the Jew, the rabbi advises him to get a goat. A week later, the person comes again for advice, but now talks about how much inconvenience having an animal causes. The rabbi advises him to sell the goat. Another week later, the rabbi meets the Jew and asks how he is doing. The man talks about how good it has become to live without a goat - it’s spacious, no one bleats, no smell of wool, no need to take anyone out to pasture.

What is the moral of this parable? The fact is that everything in the world is relative. The severity of problems depends on only one factor - human perception. Every situation has its advantages, you just need to learn to notice them.

How to do it? You need to take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. Write down the negative aspects of the current situation in one column, and the advantages that it brings in the other. For example, losing a job. This is bad? Seems Yes. But the loss of a duty station opens up new prospects for a person. Is divorce a grief? Undoubtedly. But loneliness brings with it a lot of opportunities and advantages. For example, you can go on a trip and pay a much smaller amount for it.

The ability to see the positives in every situation, even the most difficult and bitter, is the basis of how to deal successfully with difficulties in life, not to give in to them and not to attract them to yourself.

Accept that there are no perfect people

Ardent perfectionism sometimes prevents a person from overcoming obstacles. The question haunts me: “How is this possible, since I do everything correctly and perfectly?” It’s difficult to come to terms with this; a person becomes fixated on difficulties and so on in a circle. Why drive yourself into a dead end? Nobody's perfect. It's normal to make mistakes, to not know how to cope with a difficulty. But you can survive this by at least starting with accepting your imperfection.

What is the benefit of controlling emotions? Application of the method to solve family difficulties

Psychologists do not advise keeping emotions to yourself, especially negative ones. However, difficulties in family life require self-control. It is lack of restraint that often becomes the reason why difficulties cannot be overcome.

For example, on payday, a man went to a bar after work with his colleagues, and then lost his wallet with all the money, keys and documents. What awaits him at home? As a rule, a man will have to face a scandal that will aggravate his feelings of guilt. It is a rare man who will silently endure a stream of insults directed at him; at some point he will forget about his own offense and answer the woman. This development of the situation makes the problem even more serious.

What if you don't start a scandal? If you resist the desire to throw out indignation, anger, disappointment, resentment, anger? Put a man to bed, and the next day, together with him, start looking for a way out of this situation? Of course it's difficult. But such an approach is rational; it will lead to overcoming the problem, and not to its aggravation.

How to contain negativity in such circumstances? Psychologists advise taking a deep breath, counting to 10 or a higher number, and forcefully releasing the air. This will help you not start screaming right away. Next, you should do something, for example, drink tea, sort things for washing, iron your laundry. That is, find a simple and boring thing that will help you calm down.

The ability to relax the mind

Excessive stress can make you tired and cloud your mind. Excessive fixation on problems, worries, and incessant attempts to find a solution can make the flow of thoughts chaotic and reduce the efficiency of thinking. Therefore, an equally important aspect is the ability to relax the mind and rest. Walking and express meditation have always been and are considered the best means for relieving tension.

Remedy #1 – Walk

A great way to relax without much preparation. The main thing is rest and nothing to do. For maximum effect you need:

• Turn off the phone.
• Avoid combining a walk with household chores: shopping in a store, paying bills, etc.
• Choose new routes.
• Set a clear ultimatum: no thoughts about problems until the end of the walk.

Just in case, you should take a notepad or notebook. If a useful thought comes to mind regarding problems, it can be written down.

A simple walk in the fresh air will relieve stress and restore internal strength.

Remedy No. 2 – Express Meditation

If you need to relax here and now, setting aside no more than 10 minutes for relaxation, a short meditation is suitable.

The technology is simple: you only need a place where you can sit comfortably, leaning your back, or lie down.

Once seated, you need to concentrate on breathing. If it is inconsistent or uneven, it is worth spending a few minutes straightening it out.

• Then you should walk your mind's eye over the body, feel where the muscles are tense, and relax them. Starting with the face, you need to gradually lower the area of ​​attention, first examine the neck area, then the shoulder girdle, arms, and so on to the feet. When you feel a tense area, you should focus on it, wait 10–15 seconds, and relax.
• When breathing has leveled out and the body has been brought into a relaxed state, you can begin the last stage. You need to concentrate on an area of ​​the brain. Under conditions of stress and increased mental activity, individual pockets of tension appear in this area. You need to focus on a separate focus, feel how it begins to relax.
• Finally, you can sit for a few minutes, concentrating on your breathing.

How to overcome the difficulties of independent living? The benefits of mental dialogues

Talking to yourself is not always a sign of pathology. In some situations, such dialogue is useful and necessary. Of course, it must be done consciously.

For example, a young man began to live alone. But it so happened that he was unable to correctly distribute his earnings and was left without money. This negatively affected the relationship with the girl, and also led to the fact that I had to turn to my parents for help. Of course, the young man is depressed and upset.

What will help overcome this crisis? Self talk. You need to ask yourself the question of why the circumstances have developed this way and answer it honestly. Then, in the same way, in the “question-answer” form, identify other options for action in key situations that led to the problem. At the end of this impromptu dialogue, you should tell yourself that these difficulties are temporary and fleeting.

How will this help? Having spoken or thought through the reasons for difficulties in life and found options for action that would not lead to them, a person assimilates the experience gained. Accordingly, he will not repeat the mistakes he made.

It's ok to accept defeat

Feeling sad about not coping with a challenge is a standard human reaction. Everyone faces failure in life sooner or later. The main thing in this case is not to give up on your goal or dream, but to accept defeat, draw conclusions, and try again, but under different circumstances. For example, if it weren’t for the persistence of JK Rowling, who received 12 rejections from publishers, we would never have read Harry Potter. The writer achieved her goal, but it took a little more time and patience.

How to take problems lightly? The benefits of auto-training

Everyone's perception of life's difficulties and attitude towards them is different. Not every person can not take any problem to heart. However, the more easily people relate to the difficulties that arise, the faster and easier they cope with various difficulties and troubles.

To learn to take difficulties lightly, you need to repeat to yourself the following:

• everything is temporary;
• some have it much worse;
• there are advantages to the situation.

Of course, these are general phrases; auto-training should also include specifics taken from the current situation in life.

In order for self-hypnosis to be effective, you need to practice it daily, in a calm atmosphere and at a constant time.

Some examples of human life problems

All adversities are different, they can be:

• Material. Lack of money, lack of any property, no opportunity to increase your wealth.
• Professional. Losing a job, being demoted, a work project being too difficult.
• Stressful. The death of a close friend, relative, serious illness, divorce from a husband or breakup with a boyfriend, a change in the usual environment.

If you remain inactive and do not solve difficult situations, this will lead to prolonged depression.

How to learn to cope with difficulties without thinking about them?

How to overcome difficulties in life without worrying, without thinking, without suffering? All people ask this question, but many believe that it is simply impossible. However, psychologists do not think so. Natural overcoming of life's difficulties can be learned.

In order to cope with problems with ease, the following is required:

• remember that everything in life has both a beginning and an end;
• there is no need to get hung up on one type of work, hobby, or leisure, that is, you cannot devote yourself entirely to something;
• it is necessary to make decisions or think about them only in a calm state; anger, like joy, is a bad adviser;
• help others;
• you should live in the present, not in the past or future;
• It is important to see positive things around you, for example, noticing good weather, beautiful clouds, a quickly arriving bus, lower prices in the store;
• you have to get physically tired, that is, play sports, work in the country, repair your home.

We must not forget about rewarding ourselves for successfully overcoming a problem. This will help consolidate the positive experience in the mind, transforming it into a kind of behavior pattern. That is, by rewarding himself for success, a person forms a behavioral reaction that will arise naturally, without any effort.

Keep your muscles tense

This method can develop:

• patience;
• equilibrium;
• endurance.

Sit or stand, raise your arms and keep them at shoulder level. They can be pulled forward or spread to the sides. Try to hold them for a certain time - 15-30 minutes.

If the muscle tissue is poorly developed, it will be difficult for you to complete this exercise, as severe pain will arise, so you need to have the willpower to withstand this test and not lower your arms.

Walk slowly

Take just three steps for a certain time - a few seconds, then increase it to half a minute. The maximum time period is 15 minutes. The movement should not be interrupted, imagine that you are in a slow motion movie. This is a challenging exercise that works every muscle tissue in the entire body. As soon as you get used to this technique, you will immediately feel power over your body. You can easily withstand any trouble.