How to learn to defend your opinion and why you need it

The ability to stand your ground is highly valued in the business world. The ability to defend one’s point of view, as well as to convince others of one’s own rightness, is the quality of a leader who does not want to be led by other people’s desires, but wants other people to carry out his will. If people like Steve Jobs had not been able to insist on their own, then it is possible that today we would not have seen so many bright products from Apple, and perhaps this company would not exist at all. The ability to defend your point of view largely means not succumbing to manipulations and techniques from the psychology of influence. When you defend your opinion, you take responsibility for yourself and your life into your own hands, and do not go with the flow.

Taking a stand can mean disagreeing with what everyone else agrees with and always looking at things with a critical eye. This doesn't mean slamming your fist on the table at every opportunity and yelling like crazy. But this means not being offended and having an independent view of people, events and phenomena.

It is possible that the series “House M.D.” is attractive because in it the main character has his own opinion on everything and generally does a lot that each of us would be afraid to do. At the same time, he is valued and respected for this and is tolerated, because... his way of doing things saves people.

Learn to say “no” in unfavorable situations

How often does it happen that we agree to some dubious enterprise, although it is initially unprofitable for us. A colleague invited you to his friend’s anniversary, and you couldn’t refuse him, even though you planned to work more that day. A familiar situation, isn't it? As a result, you have to go to a hopeless event to your own detriment only because you cannot say a firm “no”. It is worth understanding that a person has every right to agree or refuse a certain proposal. Before giving a positive answer to any adventure, analyze in detail whether it will bring you more benefits than losses.

Now you are probably asking yourself: “What does this have to do with the fact that I want to learn how to defend my point of view?” Everything is extremely simple. If people around you see that you are capable of giving a negative answer in situations where there is no benefit for you, then they will subconsciously respect you, which means that the opinion that you have about a certain topic will be perceived seriously. Even if a person hears from you a completely opposite point of view, he will at least think about what you told him. After all, only truly strong-willed individuals know how to say “no.”

Present information clearly

If the dispute is being waged among the masses, then present information to people in such a way that everyone understands the essence of your statement. Otherwise, some pretentiousness of your speeches may be used against you. No one forbids using various figures of speech to enrich your speech, adding oxymorons, hyperboles and replete with exquisite synonyms, building synonymous rows unprecedented to this day, but do not go into professional terminology. And if you are sinful in doing this, then immediately decipher it for the onlookers who came to watch literary fights without rules.

Don't get hung up on other people's opinions

The ability to defend one’s point of view is also inextricably linked to whether a person knows how to ignore other people’s words. Do you think people will trust a person who is very easy to convince in the opposite direction? That's it! Learn not to get hung up on the words that other people say to you. This does not mean that you should not respect other people's points of view at all. However, if you know that your worldview is correct, you should fundamentally defend it or at least not change it in situations where they are trying to convince you. If you do not learn to do this, then it will be quite easy to manipulate you, so you should not get hung up on other people's thoughts, even if these thoughts come from a very authoritative person.

Justify your words correctly

Everything is quite simple here. In order to correctly defend your point of view, you must first learn how to correctly argue your words. Your arguments must be clear and logical so that your opponent is 100% sure that you can be trusted. For example, in psychology there is one rather interesting method of persuasion. During an argument, try to ask the person more questions, the answer to which will be short and simple: “Yes.” If there are really a lot of such questions, then the person will begin to subconsciously doubt that he is right and will take your side. However, ask only questions that are directly or indirectly related to the subject of the dispute.

Types of behavior that exclude assertiveness

Unfortunately, most relationships in modern society involve playing in Karpman's dramatic triangle, which excludes the presence of assertiveness among its players.

Staying in a triangle is possible when the participants unconsciously choose one of the following roles.

The role of the victim. A person in such a role is apathetic, lacks initiative, believes that everything is already predetermined, and most importantly, he does not take responsibility for his actions, words and deeds. The source of the problem for him is always in someone else, but not in him. The victim is waiting for the Rescuer to come to save her from the aggressor.

The role of the aggressor. The behavior of the aggressor is quite selfish and sometimes cruel. He considers the Victim to be the source of all his problems and “fairly”, according to his worldview, punishes her. Similarly, the victim does not want to take responsibility for his actions.

The role of the Rescuer is played by a person who tries to help everyone. Even when he is not asked for it. Behind this desire to be needed by others, there is also a reluctance to be responsible for one’s own life. Thus, a person justifies himself that he does not have the time and opportunity to solve his problems.

Being a triangle player, one and the same person can perform one of the listed roles according to the situation that develops between the participants. For example, a Rescuer can become an aggressor in relation to a former aggressor (now a victim), and a victim can become a Rescuer for a former aggressor. Being in each of these roles, people subconsciously “run away” from solving their own problems. The most important “secondary benefit” that they unknowingly receive is the reluctance to take responsibility for their lives.

Avoidance of responsibility for one’s life is a distinguishing feature of triangle participants from an assertive personality. That is why a person with assertiveness does not enter into a triangle.

Know when to stand your ground

Unfortunately, many people do not even think about whether they need to defend their point of view at the moment, because sometimes situations may arise when disputes are inappropriate and it would be best to remain silent. A fool will express his opinion everywhere and always, and a wise man will wait for the opportune moment when words will bring maximum effectiveness. For example, instead of proving your colleague wrong about his work practices during his lunch break, you should wait until the all-hands meeting to bring up this important topic. If you manage to convince the majority of those present, then your opponent simply cannot disagree under their influence.

Use data and research

This is a lvl 90 weapon, if authentic, it will be almost impossible to defend the right to exist for another position. Imagine that there is a heated debate about the existence of black holes in our Universe, and your opponent throws barbs and says that the only evidence that black holes exist is your girlfriend. In response, he receives three smiles “)))”, which are equivalent to sending a person, and several more theories from the most eminent scientists who support this position of yours, and data from satellites. It may not convince the fool, but you will come out of the situation as a man, moreover, as an erudite gentleman.

What not to do?

In stressful situations, you should not behave as follows:

Tolerate public insults from your boss.

Such behavior will not only lose the respect of your colleagues, but also your boss.

Respond with aggression.

Copying the leader's behavior will only make the situation worse.

Criticize your boss.

Nobody likes to listen to criticism when they are stressed. As a result, you can ruin your attitude towards yourself forever and prolong the conflict.

• Ask for forgiveness and blame yourself for everything.

Such tactics of behavior guarantee defeat in advance. You cannot humiliate and overstep yourself. This will only increase the boss's anger. You can admit guilt only in a truly committed mistake and only in private with your manager.

Improve your communication skills

Now do you understand how important it is to be able to defend your point of view? If you do not learn to convince other people on important issues, then sooner or later someone will convince you. To prevent this from happening, try to properly improve your communication skills. Simply put, learn how to communicate with other people properly. This process is quite complex and requires several years of training. However, if other people see that you know how to communicate on different topics, then they will subconsciously begin to trust you.

If you decide to start an argument with another person, you should remain as calm as possible. Respect your opponent's opinion, but under no circumstances take his side in cases where, in your opinion, he is wrong. You should not conduct a dialogue in a raised voice, or even more so, get personal - this is the lot of weak and insecure people who do not deserve the trust of others. Try to maintain composure and an adequate view of things even if there is not one, but several opponents against you in a dispute.

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