What is personal space and why does a person need it: useful tips on personal boundaries

Every day we have to come into contact with a lot of people. At work, in a store, on public transport, and just on the street, we encounter not only acquaintances, but also complete strangers. Have you noticed how annoying it is when a stranger is too close? What if there are a lot of such people, for example, in the elevator, in line at the ticket office, in the subway? Then irritation can develop into barely restrained aggression. This is how we react to a violation of our personal space - that zone where only the closest people are allowed, and even then not always.

What does personal space mean?

  • It is common for each person to decide who he will let close to him and who he will not. A person’s personal space is a concept that includes a large number of factors. These include habits, hobbies, desires, and needs.
  • Personal boundaries, if no one violates them, make a person more balanced and bring comfort into his life. It is important to know the boundaries and not cross them. After all, invasion of personal space can ruin the relationship between you.

Types of personal space

There are several areas of personal boundaries:

  • Region of physical space. People living together have their own personal physical space - a place to store things and personal hygiene products. You cannot pick them up or move them from place to place without permission, as this can ruin relationships between people.
  • If you have a place where you like to work or relax, then your partner has it too. You shouldn't occupy it. When you take another person's things into your hands and he is very indignant at this, you should not be offended by him. This is not greed, but just personal boundaries that he is not ready to allow to be violated.

Comfort on a physical and mental level

  • Area of ​​interest . Conflicts often arise in families due to the fact that one of the partners does not like the hobbies of their loved one. You shouldn't insist that he gave up his hobby. This will be regarded as a violation of personal boundaries.
  • It's best when loved ones have common interests. This will allow them to spend more time together and enjoy life more. If you are not ready to do the same thing as your partner, just don’t stop him from getting involved in what he loves. This is his outlet, which allows him to escape from troubles at work or household chores.
  • Rest area . Every person knows how best to relax. Some people prefer to be alone with themselves and think about painful things. Others believe that it is better to spend time watching their favorite movie or taking a ride in a car. There are people who prefer to spend time in noisy companies. You should not try to change your partner. Learn to understand him and accept him as he is.

Different people have different boundaries

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Personal space in relationships: should it exist?

  • It is vital for a person that his personal boundaries are not violated. This allows him to do what he wants. If you start to notice that your loved one is spending more time away, this does not mean a lack of feelings. He just needs privacy.
  • Even if you have a warm and passionate relationship, this is not an indicator that a person will refuse the opportunity to be alone. We can say that this is his internal need. If you constantly monitor a person, this can create discomfort for him.
  • Most modern young couples believe that the best thing to do is spend time together. They are convinced that this will strengthen their relationship. However, it is not. If you are constantly near each other, this will develop into internal tension. This can cause frequent quarrels and conflicts.
  • The human soul needs rest. Personal space is not a whim, but an important element in life. And both men and women should understand this.

Respect your partner's space

A small amount of freedom can warm up feelings and strengthen harmony. Psychological research has shown that people who respect each other's boundaries become much closer than if they spent time together regularly.

If a couple does not violate personal space in a relationship, this will allow:

  • relax and unwind;
  • relieve nervous tension;
  • restore internal energy;
  • feel that a partner is a necessity;
  • look at things from a different angle.

Attention, proximity

No matter how paradoxical it may be, personal space is most often violated by the closest people: relatives, friends, loved ones. And we forgive them for this and sometimes even encourage them, for example, during sexual contact.

But the invasion of our intimate zone by strangers - in addition to emotional rejection - also causes physiological changes in the body. The heart begins to beat faster, adrenaline goes off scale, and blood flows into the muscles and brain in a powerful flow. That is, despite our will, the body prepares for a potential fight or flight. Therefore, you should not hug or touch people you don’t know, even if you really like them. These actions can make them feel negative towards you. The conclusion suggests itself: when communicating, you should always keep your distance.

How to learn not to violate the boundaries of personal space?

  • The values ​​of personal space have been sorted out. Now you need to understand how to allow a person to be alone with himself, without harming the relationship.
  • We'll tell you what tricks you can use to improve a couple's personal space. If you use them, it will significantly strengthen the bond between the couple.

Difference in space

Reconsider your behavior

  • Analyze how you behave in relationships. It is possible that you are violating a man's personal space . He may not talk about it, because he respects your feelings. However, sooner or later a person will break down. And then it will be quite difficult to avoid conflict.
  • If you're just beginning to develop a relationship, then invading personal boundaries may seem like a sign of caring. At first it may seem very pleasant and harmless. However, when people have been together for a long time, such behavior begins to depress.
  • In order not to provoke conflict and quarrel , try not to be intrusive from the beginning. If your loved one wants to spend time alone or go to friends, you should not change his habits. Don't ask to go to a party or meeting with him. Let him enjoy his privacy as he sees fit. This will only strengthen your relationship.

Find something to do

  • Start practicing self-development . Every person, even if he denies it, has hobbies that are not related to his other half. If you have friends, get together with them and visit a cafe, bar, restaurant, spa.
  • Perhaps you are interested in music. Then it’s ideal to learn to play the piano or another musical instrument. Dedicate time only to yourself.
  • This method allows you to improve relationships in couples who have been living together for a long time. They need to be able to take a break from each other. After time spent in different places, their connection will only grow stronger.
  • It is important to understand that you and your loved one may have different interests. This is quite normal and should not be changed. Trying to change interests can be a stumbling block. Don't set ultimatums and don't force your partner to prioritize your interests.
  • Be smarter. Allow yourself and your partner to do the things that he sees fit. A compromise can also be found. For example, today you will share the interests of your loved one, and tomorrow he will go with you. However, such compromises are not often possible. After all, one way or another, they violate a person’s personal boundaries.

Stop controlling

  • Don't control your partner's every move. It is not your property. Most girls like to read messages on a guy’s phone, or secretly visit his pages on social networks. By doing this you are violating his personal space, which can lead not only to conflict, but also to the end of the relationship.
  • Put yourself in your partner's shoes. If he behaved the same way, would you like it? Chances are good that your answer will be no. Then why do you allow yourself to behave this way?
  • Learn to perceive your loved one as an independent person who has the right to personal boundaries. If he's away from home, don't call every few minutes to find out when he'll be back. Believe me, such simple tips will help you build trusting relationships and achieve harmony.

Don't overprotect someone

  • We must not forget that love and care are the pillars on which any relationship is built. You just need to know when to stop.
  • An analogy can be made with dessert. For example, you love cake. But if the amount of sugar in it constantly increases, the taste will become cloying, and it will become impossible to eat it.
  • This also applies to relationships. If you constantly take care of your partner, he will get bored with it. Don't think that 24/7 care will strengthen your relationship. Most likely, everything will be exactly the opposite.
  • In a relationship you need to show tenderness, love and care. The main thing is to know when to stop.

Don't demand love

  • There is no need to force a person to show tenderness and love. He must do this sincerely. This behavior helps to harmonize relationships. However, you should not demand that he show tenderness and care every minute spent together. Scenes, nerves and quarrels have never strengthened relationships.
  • First, understand why you are not getting the attention you deserve. It is possible that your loved one is facing difficulties at work and therefore cannot devote time to you. Sit down and calmly talk about it. Give him time to come to his senses.

How to protect personal space: tips

If you want to keep your relationship tender and harmonious, follow these recommendations:

  • Maintain a trusting relationship. Speak honestly to each other, expressing your feelings and grievances. This way you will be honest with yourself.
  • Heartfelt conversations . If you have a misunderstanding, talk directly to your loved one. Ask about his feelings.
  • Learn to give in. Compromise is one of the most important factors in building relationships.
  • Don't blame your partner . If you want peace of mind, and your partner violates your boundaries and demands attention, do not shout and do not hang all the dogs on him. Moreover, do not remember that you once wanted attention, but he did not give it to you. This will make a man feel guilty.
  • Don't check his phone or social media.
  • Learn to calmly accept the fact that your partner needs personal space and talk about this need yourself, don’t be shy. If a person truly loves you, they will understand why this is so important to you.
  • Don't forget to spend time with your loved one. Personal space is good, but communication is much more important.
  • Try to find common ground . Perhaps you will find common interests with your partner.

A person should have his own space
Every person has personal boundaries, regardless of his social status and age. And no one has the right to violate them. If partners respect each other's personal space, this will strengthen their relationship and allow them to find happiness. Be attentive to your loved one, and try to have heart-to-heart conversations more often.

Articles about relationships on the site:

  • Spouses sleep separately: why couples in relationships need to sleep separately
  • An introverted man in a relationship with a woman
  • Rival in a relationship - how to get rid of her: tips
  • What mistakes in relationships lead to separation?
  • How to properly be offended by a man for the benefit of a relationship


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