How to stop missing a person: instructions that really work, and advice from psychologists

Partings, like meetings, are inevitable in life. It is normal to experience sadness, pain and disappointment from parting with people near and dear to your heart.

If you succumb to these destructive emotions and thoughts, then over time this condition can cause psychological disorders. It is important to learn how to deal with boredom. No one will give a definite answer on how to stop missing someone.

Signs of love addiction

Girls who find themselves emotionally dependent on a man have an atrophied idea of ​​love.

Reference. Women believe that they can only find peace, security and confidence at the expense of their beloved young man.

In other words, girls’ love is directed not at their partner, but at themselves. That is why dependence on a guy is often accompanied by various manipulations and psychological games.

Unhappy woman

You can detect a love addiction yourself, based on the following signs:

  1. Having a strong feeling that happiness is possible only when the object of dependence is nearby and surrounds you with care, warmth and love.
  2. Without relationships, life becomes a burden. The absence of a loved one nearby causes terrible anger, despondency and depression.
  3. Any women who try to talk to a man for any reason, no matter how insignificant, are perceived as rivals.
  4. Interest in other representatives of the stronger sex disappears. There is no desire to meet new people.
  5. With love addiction, the girl idealizes her lover. A woman cannot give a realistic assessment of a young man's shortcomings. If they are pointed out by relatives or friends, he demonstrates an aggressive defensive reaction.
  6. All the girl’s conversations come down to conversations about her beloved man.
  7. Love addiction is characterized by the presence of a strong feeling of guilt. An addicted girl only blames herself for breaking up with her lover.
  8. A woman suffering from love addiction does not pay attention to her own needs, desires and feelings. A person in love cares only about the life of her beloved.

Ask your friends not to talk about your ex

Friends can remind you of past experiences for a long time. Ask them to exclude their ex's name from conversations and you'll feel better. Let your loved ones know that it hurts you to know that everything is over between you. Real friends will be able to get into the situation and will do everything to make you feel comfortable.

What to do if your friends are talking to your ex-partner? Keeping yourself updated on what he's doing, how he's feeling, and who he's dating will make it harder for you to get over the breakup. So if your friends are still talking to him, ask them to avoid talking about your ex when they're with you. But your friends are not obligated to stop communicating with the person, no matter how much you ask.

Reasons that won't let you forget

How to make a man think about you constantly and miss you

Love addiction is similar in structure to alcohol or drug addiction. Most often, people who lack self-confidence and are unable to make decisions and cope with problems on their own are subject to addiction.

Important! A weak woman is confident that a man can overcome all troubles. Therefore, the loss of a strong partner is perceived by a lady as a mental catastrophe.

In this regard, the girl is not able to “get out of her head” thoughts about the guy who is the “key” to solving her problems.

Girl misses boyfriend

In addition to the childish nature of a girl, the following behavioral factors can prevent her from forgetting a man:

  1. The initiative to break up comes from the man. Human psychology is such that wounded pride can unconsciously transform into love addiction. The desire to return a partner is not associated with bright feelings, but with selfish motives for revenge. A girl cannot always track her own needs on her own.
  2. If your beloved man is married, being fixated on him may indicate an unconscious fear of serious relationships with single guys. Fear of feelings, building a family, and having children often provokes a fixation of attention on unfree young people.
  3. Fear of loneliness can prevent you from forgetting a man. Uncertainty about their own attractiveness often pushes women into love addiction. Representatives of the fair sex may feel that no one else will be able to pay attention to them. Therefore, they will try with all their might to return the guy with whom they already had an affair.
  4. If a girl works or studies with a guy in the same institution, it is quite difficult to get thoughts about him out of her head. Every time she meets her beloved colleague, a woman will unconsciously think, fantasize and return to her memory of the time when she was happy.

A technique to stop missing the person you love.

If you cannot forget a person for a long time, you miss him, then most likely you have secondary benefits. Which need to be found and worked out. This can be done using a technique that many psychologists use. Our psyche has a strong adaptive function, so it tries to extract positives from any “bad” situation. You need to work with your subconscious to find these positives.

Follow these steps.

  1. Grab a pen, a piece of paper, and a timer.
  2. Set the timer for 25 minutes.
  3. Write: What good do I get from suffering about my ex-partner?
  4. Answer the question in writing. You have all 25 min. think only about the answer and write. Don't get distracted, write without interruption. You think this is nonsense. You think: this won't work, but it doesn't. The main thing is to start writing everything that comes to mind. If you can’t write anything, then just write: I can’t write anything.
  5. And again, force yourself to continue thinking and writing. Continue even if you don’t want to or don’t know what to write.
  6. Focus on finding your secondary benefits.
  7. If the time is up but you have not yet realized why you are thinking about it, then continue the next day. And so on until you find out.
  8. After you've finished writing, ask yourself: How can I get these benefits in another way? For example, if your benefit is receiving attention and care from loved ones, then come up with other ways you can get it. And if the benefit is the desire to suffer, then replace it with a non-traumatic method. You can read books with a sad ending or watch a sad movie.
  9. Write down all the safe ways to get benefits. And start receiving them in new ways every day.
  10. If you apply them, then in a couple of weeks you will forget about your ex and start living in a new way.

When to cut him out of your life

How to become confident and increase self-esteem for women and men

To fight for a loved one or to break up - such thoughts often torment the heads of people in love.

Leave a man

When doubts overcome, psychologists recommend familiarizing yourself with the main reasons that indicate the futility of a relationship:

  1. If a young man is married and does not intend to get a divorce. You should not hope that over time the man will change his decision. It is necessary to terminate such communication as soon as possible.
  2. If a young man stops calling and supporting in difficult situations, and prefers to spend his weekends in the steam room with friends, then one should not idealize his nature.
  3. If a guy immediately found a new companion after breaking up, it means he didn’t have strong feelings. Therefore, you should not “knock on a closed door.”
  4. If a man spreads unflattering rumors or tells intimate details of a former relationship, you should not fight for the love of such a specimen. It will be difficult to rely on the young man in the future.
  5. If a guy openly says that he has no feelings, you shouldn’t be humiliated. Making someone fall in love will not work. Therefore, it is better to leave the person alone.
  6. If a woman is married and does not intend to live separately from her husband, it is better to drive away thoughts about the guy she likes.

Find a hobby

If you keep yourself busy, you will forget about the breakup. You feel hurt and lonely partly because you are bored. If you throw yourself into work, cleaning or hobbies, you can rehabilitate yourself.

Healing may take some time, so focusing on an activity and focusing on yourself is a great way to overcome the pain of not having your ex in your life.

Start writing, reading, drawing or playing video games, running, dancing and playing the guitar again. If you've ever wanted to learn new skills, now is the perfect time to do so. Try something you've never done before, just because you're free. Find a new hobby that you enjoy. Keeping yourself busy will distract you from bad thoughts and memories.

What to do to forget

How to stop being afraid of everything in the world

Sadness and pain after a breakup are normal reactions to loss. To stop suffering and start a full life without the man she loves, a girl needs to live through these negative emotions.

Reference! If a person is able to cope with difficult feelings, this indicates his emotional maturity.


If a woman decides to find out how to stop suffering for a beloved man who does not need her, then she has embarked on the path of “recovery.” In order for addiction to go away in the least painful way, it is necessary to take a comprehensive approach to the choice of methods of “treating” addiction.

Ways to stop suffering over your ex

There are many ways to get rid of love addiction. Psychologists recommend first of all paying attention to the following options:

  1. Negative emotions should not be suppressed. If you want to cry, you need to shed tears. If you feel like hitting a pillow or screaming, you need to allow yourself to let off steam.
  2. There is no need to hush up the problem. You can tell your friends or a psychologist about the “burden on your heart.” Talking to yourself helps a lot.
  3. After getting rid of negativity, you need to fill the “emptiness” with positive emotions. You can replenish the deficiency of serotonin (the hormone of happiness) with the help of interesting and varied activities: sports, dancing, travel. You should plan your day minute by minute so that there is no free time for worries, sad thoughts and figuring out why the guy left.
  4. It is necessary to throw away all things from the house or put them in the attic that remind you of your beloved.
  5. Psychologists advise using auto-training, which helps stop self-flagellation and increase self-esteem. It is enough to say the following phrases in front of the mirror every morning: “I am beautiful,” “I am successful,” “My friends love me,” “I am a good housewife.” You can come up with your own expressions.
  6. The best way to forget a man is to surround yourself with other representatives of the stronger sex. The more friendly communication you have with a variety of young people, the faster thoughts about your lover will fade into the background.

What ways will help?

In such situations, psychologists give the following recommendations:

  • Any activity can save you from constant longing for a person, the main thing is that it is interesting. If you have a hobby, now is the time to actively engage in it. If you don’t know what to do with your free time, start experimenting and maybe you’ll find something you like.
  • If sadness takes you by surprise, try to distract yourself from these thoughts. A good option is to read a book. If you are at work, clean up your workspace and write a to-do list for the near future.
  • Some people need to immerse themselves in work and always be on the job. This is an effective way to get over a breakup and not get caught up in negative emotions.
  • Another effective piece of advice is to not avoid communicating with other people; on the contrary, try to be around positive people more often.

Is it worth starting a new relationship?

“They knock out a wedge with a wedge,” friends often call a woman in a state of grief to this folk wisdom. Ladies mistakenly believe that after a failed relationship it is necessary to immediately start a new one in order to get rid of mental torment.

Additional Information! “Rebound” is what Western psychologists call a substitutionary novel, which is translated from English. language means “return”, “rollback” or “restoration”.

The paradox of this “way out” of the situation is that such a connection has nothing in common with a mature relationship.

New acquaintance

Entering into a new romantic adventure does not allow you to deal with old grievances and experiences. Until a woman consciously crosses out her former love, analyzes all her mistakes and understands what she really wants from her partner, all unresolved problems will “transition” into a rebound union.

Get rid of memories

You broke up and miss your ex, but there's no point in keeping photos of you together on the refrigerator. Take off the jewelry he gave you, don’t re-read the correspondence. Of course, you just want to get some warm emotions by remembering the good times when you were together, but this way you are hurting yourself more. Letting go of your ex in this situation becomes even more difficult. When you're hurt, you remember all the good, wonderful moments, but that doesn't help you stop missing what was. When there are no constant reminders of the past in your life, you will be able to let it go much sooner.

Most common mistakes

After breaking up with a man, women often make a lot of mistakes. Common options include:

  1. Threats, including suicide. Impressionable guys, out of fear for a girl, can resume a relationship, but such a relationship will not bring happiness.
  2. Gifts should not be required to be returned. A man should not give away what was accepted in a relationship. You shouldn't make a guy feel obligated in this way.
  3. Attempts to exert influence through mutual friends and acquaintances. You should not involve third parties in disputes. Such behavior will cause aggression in a man.
  4. The pursuit. You shouldn’t track down a guy, call, write on social networks and look for meetings. Obsession will push you away even more.
  5. Ladies often turn to black magic and conspiracies. A love spell is a sin that will not bring peace of mind and love. The guy still won't be able to live with a woman.
  6. There is no need to invent a non-existent pregnancy. The man will not marry anyway; his opinion of the girl will worsen after such an act.
  7. You should not agree to maintain friendly relations. The offer to remain friends is often caused by the desire to maintain a “backup airfield.” Some guys feel like they owe it to them out of guilt. Friendship will not help you return your lover, but it will provoke the emergence of love addiction.
  8. You should not try to relieve pain with alcohol, drugs or promiscuity. Such behavior will worsen health, quality of life and worsen already low self-esteem.

Love addiction will not bring happiness. With or without a man by your side, constant addiction deprives you of vitality and destroys your personality. If you lack the strength to cope with the problem on your own, it is better to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. By working together we can destroy destructive feelings.

Talk to someone

You shouldn't keep all your emotions to yourself. Be sure to speak out to your friend, mother, sister, or make an appointment with a psychologist. Therapy can help you if you are struggling to recover from a breakup.

Long-term relationships can be just as destructive as marriages, especially if you were living together and planning a future.

Seeing a therapist does not make you “crazy,” although many people have such stereotypes. A psychologist will help you analyze your feelings and guide you on the right healing path.

Worst ally

Even at the first stage after a breakup, when sadness has just begun to creep into your heart, it is worth remembering that alcohol does not help you stop yearning for a person. The characters of many films and books have sought solace at the bottom of a glass; such images are dramatic and romanticized, but in life everything is much more prosaic. Under the influence of alcohol, a person does not find relief; often his condition only worsens. The risk of making irreparable mistakes is growing.

But we note that this coin has two sides. One evening with your best friend or girlfriend, a bottle of wine and a sit-down in a cozy kitchen can work better than any therapy. And if you want to give up on all your problems and go with your friends to a club where you can have fun until the morning, then by all means go. Allow yourself to relax once, but don't make it a system.

Change the scenery

Leaving the city for a while, flying to the sea or visiting a friend is something that will help you switch gears and get emotional release. A change of environment has a beneficial effect on emotional imbalance. New events and acquaintances, although not for long, will captivate you. This period should be regarded not as an escape from problems, but as an opportunity for the rehabilitation of the soul.

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