Why do people become indifferent to other people's grief?

Each of us could observe indifference to the grief of others Yes, negative words and actions can cause discomfort or even harm, they can irritate and enrage, but when there is no response at all, such an attitude should be alarming. Nobody wants to deal with aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they have emotions. As a rule, people’s problems can be solved, and if you try, you can find a way out of any situation. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is quite clear: indifferent people cause distrust - you cannot rely on them.

It would seem, what’s wrong with them? Gray personalities to which even the word “personality” is difficult to apply. Indifferent people are not empty, they are often stuffed with knowledge and can easily retell the plot of a book or movie, have hobbies - in a word, at first glance they look like everyone else... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be devoid of a simple human attitude. Such people seem to have a paralyzed soul. The natural question is: why do people become indifferent?

What is indifference

When considering the phenomenon of indifference, one must take into account that the individual’s choice is completely conscious, it is a complete avoidance of taking part in any actions that do not concern him.
This is either a refusal to help, or an inability to show support and compassion at a time of extreme need to help people. First of all, this behavior is motivated by fear of obligations. The result of invading the life of strangers may be undesirable reactions, and the kindness shown by you sincerely and unselfishly may turn against you. But there are always risks; when making any decision, we are responsible for the future consequences. So is it worth rejecting people who need us? Experiencing the indifference shown by others towards us, we feel upset and stop believing in humanity; it is not easy to trust again, what to say about providing help to others when we ourselves did not receive it on time. By refusing help and remaining indifferent, we risk experiencing a feeling of guilt over time, which will leave a detrimental imprint on our lives. Why carry the weight of guilt with you? When there is an opportunity to do good and live with the belief that everything possible has been accomplished.

However, indifference and apathy can occur in absolutely everyone, regardless of character and values. The reason for this behavior is sometimes simple boredom. Boredom can cause a sluggish depressive state; while experiencing it, the individual does not have the required amount of internal resources to assist in the problems of others. A task that you do separately from work or study will help you overcome boredom; finding a task that has become an outlet and will begin to fill you with positive energy and strength is very important. This is related to age, so you can look for a type of activity that will bring happiness at any period of your life, as well as change it in the future.

Human behavior as a social being is strictly regulated by a certain number of hereditary factors. The interaction of a subject with society is a reflection of its characteristics.

To raise a caring person, parents should talk with their child about the manifestation of indifference in life, give examples, discuss various situations and discuss how they can show compassion, provide mutual assistance and understanding. Observe the manifestation of indifference in your child, perhaps by analyzing his interests and hobbies. If there are none, it is advisable to start looking for a favorite activity together, because responsiveness to people is possible when a person develops harmoniously in all areas.

A kind and noble person: who is he?

Kindness is a component of morality, which means a sincere desire to do good deeds. They manifest themselves in saving a friend, an animal, or in performing a generous act for the whole society. Nobility always evokes a positive assessment from the public, as these qualities make you feel joy, happiness and lift your spirits.

A kind person is a person who lends a helping hand to other living beings. Such interaction is mutual, since one, through his responsiveness, increased his self-esteem and importance, and the other received a solution to the problem.

Signs of kindness:

  • Surprise. In difficult times, someone may suddenly help you out, be it a close relative, girlfriend/boyfriend or colleague.
  • Unselfishness. All actions are performed from the heart and without receiving anything in return.
  • Sincerity. When carrying out a good deed, a person acts in accordance with his spiritual values ​​and moral standards.
  • Collectivity. It manifests itself when not just one individual strives to accomplish good, but a whole group uniting all its efforts. An example is charities. Their activities are aimed at helping sick children and adults, the elderly, as well as homeless animals.
  • Demonstrativeness. Ostentatious actions are performed so that others have a positive impression of you. At first glance, such actions look disinterested, and this makes it difficult to unravel the real motive. People may deliberately demonstrate good behavior and their responsiveness to others in order to get into the right circle and gain trust.

Reasons for indifference

Where does indifference come from, what exactly caused its development in people? There are factors after which a subject decides to be deaf and blind regarding certain situations. Let's look at some of the reasons. A prolonged feeling of stress and anxiety makes a person emotionally exhausted and incapable of additional experiences. Such individuals are characterized by apathy and passivity.

The next reason for indifference is getting stuck on your own problems, an unshakable belief that there is simply nothing going on with those around you that is worth paying attention to. All other people's problems are leveled out and devalued, and the person himself is prone to a constant position of victim and expects pity and support only for himself. Most often, indifferent people do not see themselves as such; even more, many of them are absolutely sure that they are soft and sympathetic.

Also, a large number of misfortunes experienced can make any person more rigid and detached from the troubles of others. Although it would seem, on the contrary, that those who have experienced such a situation are best able to show responsiveness, unfortunately this is not always the case.

Our psyche tends to protect us from repeating traumatic situations that once happened, so a person’s consciousness seems to distance itself from everything that reminds him of what he experienced. But this happens subconsciously, while consciously a person is sure that he is absolutely not interested in delving into other people’s affairs. And sometimes, circumstances arise in which a person who has not had such sad situations is simply not able to empathize with the grief of others. But a similar reaction is most often characteristic of teenagers, when childhood naivety and all-encompassing love have passed, and life experience is not yet enough to adequately assess the current situation.

In addition to the global reasons described, there are situational reasons when a person was simply confused and could not provide help immediately, felt unwell and did not react properly. Do not rush to condemn others in anything, do not bear the burden of grievances, learn to forgive and give others the opportunity to improve.

Lack of communication skills

When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.

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Why is indifference dangerous?

Let's consider what dangers indifference brings. Indifference and responsiveness are opposite concepts in their meaning. If responsiveness can positively influence a person, renew hope for a solution, and give strength, then human indifference pushes us to despair and powerlessness in the face of the wall of troubles that have arisen.

Indifference, a phenomenon that destroys our society, the indifference of one will most likely affect everyone around. A child who notices indifference in the relationship between parents adopts their model of behavior and will behave the same way in similar situations. An adult who has felt the indifference of others may one day not help another, feeling resentment, experienced inattention from loved ones and society as a whole.

How often does society look past such global social problems as neglected children, assault in families, weakness and defenselessness of older people. What would happen if we found the strength to solve problems that affected not only our interests? It is likely that there would be less evil that we encounter every day absolutely everywhere.

At the moment of indifference, humanity loses the ability to empathize, the connection with morality is lost, which, in principle, defines us as individuals. These people are filled more with negativity, envy, and the inability to share not only the suffering of others, but also joy. It is also difficult for such people to show love; inside they can experience this feeling that they do not understand, but outwardly they can push away their loved one or even offend them. And this all turns into an unbreakable circle. A person who does not know how to show love is unlikely to evoke a feeling of love in others, this, in turn, will have an even greater impact on his life and will lead to loneliness, because it will be very difficult to maintain even ordinary communication with such a person, let alone to create a strong family.

Please note that you don’t need to take other people’s problems too closely into your heart. This is the cause of depression, sadness, and emotional instability. Sympathy is wonderful, but even in this feeling there should be boundaries; you shouldn’t live with other people’s problems. Showing participation and support is very simple, often these are ordinary things: helping a young mother with a stroller, telling a grandmother with poor eyesight the bus number, helping a lost child find his parents, or helping a person who feels unwell.

We often rush, not paying attention to what is happening around us, although sometimes just a minute of our time can cost a person his life. The famous writer Bruno Yasensky wrote in his novel “The Conspiracy of the Indifferent”: “Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they may betray you, do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they will try to kill you, but beware of the indifferent - only with their silent blessing betrayals and murders are happening on Earth.”

Positive emotions make our lives bright and full; try to notice more good things around you, show more compassion and help, and respond to people with kindness.

Each new generation is obliged to develop through the accumulation of social experience. The interaction of an individual with the social environment is a process of demands and expectations on both sides. A person is guided by skills acquired through direct relationships in social groups. Therefore, by freeing ourselves from the burden of grievances and accumulated claims against others, we will free ourselves from such qualities as indifference, indifference and callousness. Give goodness to the world, and the world will definitely give it back to you threefold!

Is it necessary to have this quality?

Sometimes kindness causes ridicule from others. A kind person is one who strives to provide services to society at any cost, and one whom I sometimes consider weak, a fool who does not know how to say “no.” Now the main value is profit, and success is assessed depending on the financial component and material benefits. The consequences of this are that society is dominated by more individuals with low levels of moral character.

If an individual puts real values ​​first - a job he loves, a large strong family, loyal and sympathetic friends, for him nobility is a necessary quality. It makes it possible to surround yourself with sincere people and achieve inner balance. Neither financial resources nor material wealth will lead a selfish and evil egoist to harmony, joy, and most importantly, happiness.

Being generous and noble does not mean showing weakness and forgiveness. For any injustice, cruelty or insult, everyone must stand up for themselves, otherwise others will take advantage of your boundless generosity, which will negatively affect your health and psyche. Self-esteem must complement kindness, protecting it from negativity.

Why are people indifferent

In fact, you see glaring examples of what human indifference can lead to every day and hourly. A man has a heart attack on the subway - the crowd walks by indifferently, considering him to be drunk. And then the doctors shrug their shoulders: if only we had been called a little earlier. No one comes out of the apartment for a long time, a plaintive child’s cry can be heard – the neighbors wouldn’t even think of asking where the baby’s parents went or if they need help. And after some time, articles about the terrible tragedy appear in newspapers. And so on. Why does this happen? Why are people so indifferent to each other? Some see the reason for this negative phenomenon in our history. They say that the people had to endure so many difficult trials, go through such torment, that many people simply became embittered. We got used to relying only on ourselves, without asking anyone for help and without offering it to anyone. The sayings say the same thing: “Moscow doesn’t believe in tears,” “God is high, the Tsar is far,” “Don’t believe, don’t be afraid, don’t ask,” and the like. Others argue that this is what people do who did not receive enough parental affection and care in childhood. Like, no one was interested in them, no one helped them - when they grew up, they became indifferent, they got used to behaving in the same way. And they don’t even imagine that it is possible to live differently. Still others see the reason in the excessive bureaucratization of our state, in corruption and permissiveness of the “chosen ones”. They say that people have long gotten used to the idea that nothing depends on them, and that any protest is useless and will lead to nothing. Therefore, they simply waved their hand, preferring to isolate themselves from the sad reality and not pay attention to anything. There is probably some truth in all these statements. But this still does not justify indifference. It is useless to wait for some kind wizard to appear and solve all problems in one fell swoop. And then, they say, it will be possible to become kind and attentive to each other. We ourselves need to start at least small: keep our own entrances clean and tidy, help those who are especially in need (for example, is it really so difficult to go to the pharmacy to buy medicine for a retired neighbor?), create a small flower bed under your own windows, plant flowers . Even the longest journey begins with the very first step.

Why do people become indifferent to other people's grief?

Each of us at least once in our lives has encountered the indifference of others. The negative opinion and attitude of another person can be harmful, it can irritate and even infuriate, but when it is completely absent, it cannot but be alarming. Nobody wants to deal with aggressive people, but it's hard to deny: they are alive, they have emotions. They can be reassured; their problems, as a rule, can be solved. But how to react to a person whose gaze expresses nothing, who experiences neither pain nor compassion? The answer is quite clear: be afraid of indifferent people.

It would seem, what’s wrong with them? Gray personalities to which even the word “personality” is difficult to apply. Yes, sometimes they are stuffed with knowledge, they can easily retell the plot of a book or movie, have a hobby - in a word, be like other people... But try to talk to them. You will lose interest in what they are saying after the very first phrases, because they will be devoid of a simple human attitude. Such people seem to have a paralyzed soul. The natural question is: why did these people become indifferent?

Description of the qualities of a kind and sympathetic person

Virtue is characterized by many traits that manifest themselves in a person:

  • Tolerance is tolerance and respect for any position in life without imposing one’s stereotypes.
  • Loyalty is a stable state of affairs (relationships, goals) and attachment to them, without considering other options.
  • Patience is a calm anticipation of significant events, meetings, purchases, or unyielding endurance of unpleasant moments (loss, pain, failure, separation, financial difficulties).
  • Kindness is a demonstration of respect for others and a friendly attitude towards them.
  • Politeness – having good manners when communicating, displaying good manners and education, skills of respectful communication with people.
  • Generosity is mercy and condescension towards others, indifference to human shortcomings, sacrificing one’s interests for the sake of fulfilling public duty.
  • Compassion is the ability to empathize with individuals who are experiencing difficulties in life, to put oneself in their place and share their pain.
  • Responsiveness – the ability to quickly provide a service.
  • Selflessness is a renunciation of profit and personal gain; a good action performed will not be followed by a service in return.
  • Honesty is frankness and openness in communication, deeds and actions.
  • Cheerfulness is a positive attitude towards everything – both small things and difficult situations.
  • Willpower is a psychological state that helps you control your actions to achieve any goals.
  • Reasonableness is the ability to select the right solution to a problem.
  • Wisdom is the ability to use your life experience and acquired knowledge in real life.
  • Justice is objective and equal treatment of everyone.

Mutual understanding with loved ones is the basis of warm and healthy relationships

It is unlikely that geneticists will tell us the gene that is responsible for philanthropy. Although you can often hear that indifference is inherited. Why do people tend to think this way? It's very simple: children who grow up in families in which there is no mutual understanding and support between parents become cold-blooded and selfish over time. As they say, a bad example is contagious.

They say that for everyone in the family to be happy, the mother must be happy. Unfortunately, many couples live for years, studiously not noticing each other. Their feelings have long since cooled down; the daily routine is the most ruthless mechanism, capable of turning living people into robots, performing the same actions day after day simply because it is necessary. Why should you be afraid of indifferent people living together? Because it is children who suffer first of all from their indifference.

Remember how often you have witnessed the aggressive behavior of someone else's child. Believe me, these are still flowers. He shows aggression because he is deprived of the love of his parents. His natural desire to attract attention is screaming, rage, aggression in all kinds of forms. However, what is worse than these open manifestations is when a child loses hope of being heard. And this is almost the same as losing the hope of being loved, depreciating in your own eyes.

The consequences of the lack of affection and love from parents are the saddest. The child withdraws into himself, ceases to show interest in the world around him, he begins to lag behind his peers or, conversely, becomes too immersed in the study of literature, music, etc. on depressive topics. At best, he will grow up to be an indifferent person; at worst, it can lead to suicide in adolescence.

How to become kinder

When a baby is born, his aura is pure and innocent, he feels love for literally everyone who is around him. It depends on the subsequent upbringing of the parents whether he will be friendly or aggressive.

Ask a question

Gradually, the baby grows up, character begins to develop, and at the stage of improving individual traits, a quality such as kindness, or the lack thereof, appears. The misconception of people is that they consider character to be an unchangeable component. But it is not so. Only temperament cannot be changed, since we have it from birth. Character can be changed, but sometimes it is necessary. You should not judge an individual who does not show noble deeds; there are various reasons for this. He probably doesn’t know what he needs to do to help himself become simpler.

The main thing that needs to be done is to understand yourself, sort out all your thoughts and find out what reason contributes to anger, aggressiveness and envy. This procedure is not easy to carry out, it will take a long time, and sometimes the best option is a visit to a psychologist.

Situations that give rise to anger:

  • constant lack of financial resources;
  • spouse with alcohol addiction;
  • naughty and difficult child;
  • serious illnesses;
  • envious feeling towards other people.

After you understand yourself, feel free to solve all problems: if you don’t have enough money, find another job; drinking husband/wife - file for divorce; the child does not obey - spend more time together, and most importantly, talk, try to understand each other and find compromises; If your health fails, make an appointment with a specialist. Once you deal with your difficulties, envy will immediately disappear.

Why empathy is okay

The problem of indifferent people is the problem of all the people around them. How is a person different from an animal? The ability to come to the aid of one’s neighbor, the ability to sympathize, to empathize with the grief of others. Because of indifferent people, every year in the world many people die on the streets from heart attacks, beatings and robberies occur, which could have been avoided if a passer-by had not turned away indifferently, but at least called for help.

A person has become indifferent not because our society is bad. There is no need to look for an excuse for our cowardice or cowardice in the time or state in which we live. Listen to your heart - how often has it refused to respond to other people's tears? How often have you not responded to other people’s problems just because you have too many of your own? How often have they covered up their reluctance to part with a penny by saying that beggars can be scammers?

It's not about the people around you, it's only about yourself. Don't expect gratitude for the feeling shown. Love - and you will be loved.

A kind and generous soul: what kind of man is this?

The question immediately arises: are there still such things left in our time? Of course, there are many of them, because each is noble in his own way. Some may show good intentions only towards their loved ones, others towards the whole society, others feel sorry for animals and try to shelter them. The kindest person is characterized as a benefactor who helps in difficult times and does not demand anything in return. It is important for him to see enthusiastic eyes and a sincere smile - this is worth doing. They make you stronger, more spiritual and energetic.

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