100 phrases to reassure a person with words from a distance: a list of examples, expressions that you can write to a friend, relative, acquaintance to support and reassure him

It is not always possible to come to a loved one who needs support. Of course, I want to be next to him, hug him and calm him down. But if a personal meeting will not take place soon, then all that remains is to contact him by phone or the Internet. Even from a distance, it is possible to calm a person, instill hope in him and relieve him of melancholy.

What's happened?

Before moving on to considering the question of how to feel sorry for a girl with words, it is necessary to find out the reason for what happened. Before you say anything, reassure or take any action, you should assess the situation.

If the girl is angry, then think about what could make her angry. If she is sad, then most likely something upset her. Crying means the situation is very serious.

Perhaps she told you something or you are aware of the problems that were happening to her at school or work. Then it will be easier for you to understand what words and phrases you need to choose for consolation.

Some women tend to get upset over trifles. Sometimes a broken nail or a torn stocking can throw a girl off balance. Men don’t tend to behave this way, so they don’t understand tears and frustration over such little things.

A pity

We sometimes feel sorry for people who do not know pity for themselves or others.

Emily Brontë

We are all very familiar with such a feeling as pity, which, on the one hand, seems to be a very good and in some cases even necessary quality for a person, and at the same time it often betrays us, forcing us to feel sorry for people who absolutely do not deserve any pity .
Or there are even worse situations when a person feels sorry for himself and thus indulges his weakness, seeks excuses for his failures and shifts responsibility for them to other people. Such pity, without a doubt, is harmful to a person. And here the question arises - how, in fact, to distinguish useful pity from harmful, and how to suppress this harmful pity in yourself? So, in this article, let’s answer this and some other, also very important questions related to the feeling of pity, and at the same time find out what pity is. First of all, I will give a brief definition of pity so that we all understand perfectly what we are dealing with. Pity is a feeling of discomfort, which manifests itself in the form of condescending compassion, condolences, mercy, sadness, regret. We can experience this feeling both in relation to ourselves and in relation to other people. I would also say that pity is one of the forms of a person’s dependence on society, this is when it comes to pity for other people. Because, pitying other people, a person partly feels sorry for himself, because at this moment he treats other people the way he would like them to treat him when he finds himself in the same situation as them. And the fact that we or other people need precisely pity in certain situations, and nothing else, we not only and not so much understand as we feel. After all, where did we get the idea that people need to be pitied? We feel it, right? We not only know about this, but we feel that people in a given situation need to be pitied, since from time to time we ourselves feel the need for self-pity. Is it good or bad? Let's figure it out.

Pity for others

First, let's look at pity for other people in order to understand when and why we feel sorry for someone and where this pity leads us. Usually we proceed from certain ideas about good and evil, good and bad, right or wrong, when we do something, in this case, we feel sorry for someone. Also, we impose the situation in which the other person finds himself on ourselves and thus, by feeling sorry for him, we seem to feel sorry for ourselves. That is, we proceed from the fact that in a certain situation a person needs to be pitied, precisely to be pitied, not to cheer him up, not to be ignored, not to do anything else with him, but to be pitied. Consequently, if we find ourselves in exactly the same situation, we expect that we will also be pitied. And what happens to us in the end? What happens is that in some situations, our pity actually benefits both ourselves and the people we pity, while in others it harms them, us, or only us. Well, for example, you felt sorry for your child who fell, say, from a swing and hit himself painfully. He is hurt, offended, he needs support from you, which you can give him in the form of pity. He wants to be pitied, and you do it. And when you feel sorry for him, you show him your love and care in this way, which strengthens his trust in you and plants in him the seed of love for other people, primarily for you. That is, when we feel sorry for someone, we show this person that we care about him, and in some cases we let him know that we love him, that we sympathize with him, that we share with him his pain, suffering, resentment and etc. In situations like these, pity is very useful. Kindness itself is very useful - it makes us human.

So we need to be able to feel sorry for people, even if not all of them and not always, but in general we should be able to do this, because this is a very useful skill. After all, many people need pity, especially children, who expect it primarily from their parents. But many adults also love it when people feel sorry for them. People expect pity from others, they often count on it, they look for it. And if you can give them this pity when it is required, you will gain trust in them, which sometimes, you will agree, is very important for establishing useful connections. If you are a ruthless, cold, indifferent person who does nothing good for other people, then you are unlikely to be able to enlist their support when you need it. Few people are eager to help those who never help anyone themselves. So pity, as one of the manifestations of kindness, has its price in this world. Although people often take advantage of our pity in the most ruthless and immoral way. They can manipulate us with its help or simply be ungrateful that we took pity on them. It is what it is. I'm sure you've encountered people who spat in your soul in response to your pity and kindness. However, because of people like this, we shouldn’t think that our pity is our enemy. This is wrong. Our pity can also be our ally, helping us establish warm and friendly relationships with many people, especially with those who are commonly called normal people. Therefore, you should not worry too much about the problems that arise due to the manifestation of this feeling. You just need to start controlling it in order to understand who and in what situation you should feel sorry for, and who you should treat coldly and with indifference. Now let’s turn our attention to this.

What is important to consider here? It is important to always take into account your benefit, primarily in the medium and long term, in order to understand where your action, that is, your expression of pity in a given situation, will ultimately lead you. Let's say you took pity on a person and did something good for him. And it seems like it didn’t give you anything. The person disappeared from your life or continues to live as he lived, without considering it necessary to somehow thank you for your help, for your kindness. And so you think that you took pity on the person, but there’s no point in doing so. And you may begin to regret your actions. Still, what can I say, we are not always ready to do everything completely unselfishly. But don't rush to conclusions. It's not all that obvious here. Firstly, as you know, they don’t seek goodness from goodness, and if you took pity on someone and helped someone, then you shouldn’t think that this person now owes you. Pity and kindness are not things that need to be traded, although people manage to do this too. And secondly, if we talk about benefits, how do you know when and in what form you will receive it? That is, how do you know in what form your goodness will return to you?

Understand that the effect of one or another of our actions is always much larger than what we can see and understand, and therefore much more difficult to evaluate. In addition, this effect is extended over time and you never know where your action will ultimately lead you in the long term. When you feel sorry for another person, even an ungrateful one, you show yourself as a person, as a person, not only to him, but also to other people who form their opinion about you based on your actions and according to their beliefs and values. That is, by your actions you tell other people what kind of person you are. And when a certain opinion is formed about you, as a rule, positive, because kind people are loved, even if they are not always respected and appreciated, but they are loved, then all normal people know that you are the kind of person whom it makes sense to help, suggest, and whom one can feel sorry for. , if you need it. Therefore, even if it is not the person whom you took pity on and whom you helped, he will help you in return, but many other people, knowing about your good deed, can do it for him. In addition, some people do not thank immediately, but after some time, when they have such an opportunity. You, I repeat, by taking pity on the person, showed yourself to him, you showed that you can be humane, and this, no matter what you say, inspires trust. Thus, by helping other people, including pitying them, you can earn yourself a good reputation - a reputation as a normal, sympathetic, kind person. That is, with your good deeds you make a name for yourself, which, as you know, can work for a person all his life.

Of course, any name, even the kindest and most honest one, can be spoiled, denigrated, and discredited. But, you know, friends, when you personally know well a person with whom you have dealt many times and who has never let you down, deceived you, or used you, but on the contrary, helped you, you will never believe in any nasty thing that his ill-wishers will spread things about him. Therefore, if you felt sorry for someone, someone who really needed it and deserved it, then rest assured that he will most likely begin to think very well of you and will never believe anyone who speaks badly about you. So from this point of view, showing pity in those situations when you need to help a person, support him, restore his faith in the best, faith in himself, and not think about how beneficial it is for you right now, can be very beneficial. Your past actions can serve you very well in the future. People, no matter what they are, for the most part, still try to reach out to good, kind, normal people who can be trusted and relied on.

But not everything is as simple and beautiful as we would like. If our goodness always returned to us like a boomerang, we would all be very kind and would constantly help each other and feel sorry for each other. However, in real life, a good deed, a good deed, is not only not always rewarded, but sometimes even punished, but is not always a good deed or a good deed. You may be mistaken in believing that by feeling sorry for this or that person, in one way or another, you have done a good deed. Our pity can turn out to be very harmful, and therefore, as I said at the very beginning, we need to be able to distinguish it from useful pity. Let's give another example of pity. Suppose you feel sorry for someone, for example, the same child, while trying to protect him from pain, not letting him on the same swing from which he might fall, trying to protect him from difficulties, saving him from hard work, for example, during study, protecting him from fear, protecting him from unpleasant information, from suffering, and also protecting him from meeting bad people, from your point of view, and so on. So, with all these prohibitions and excessive care for your child, you prevent him from fully developing, gaining useful life experience, you prevent him from overcoming difficulties, and you prevent him from learning to get up after a fall. That is, such excessive, inappropriate, wrong pity prevents a person from becoming stronger. This, of course, harms him, and it is especially harmful for the child, who needs to learn to live in the real world, and not hide in the “greenhouse” you created for him. Do you understand what the problem is here? We must be able to fall and we must be able to rise, on our own, without outside help, in order to be as adapted to life as possible. And this needs to be learned. And in order to learn this, you cannot avoid difficulties, you cannot avoid pain, you cannot protect yourself from everything that you do not like and that you are afraid of. And even more so, you cannot protect other people from this, in particular children, especially children for whom it is important to learn to be strong. Therefore, a child and any person in general must suffer. You see, I should. And if someone’s pity prevents him from doing this, then it simply harms him. After all, when we get used to this pity, we only look for it everywhere, instead of struggling with difficulties, overcoming them and always relying primarily on our own strengths.

Besides, our pity often lets us down, as I’m sure you know very well. It happens that you feel sorry for a person, help him, and then he will do something bad to you in return. Let him not do this on purpose, but by inertia, for example, climb onto your neck and constantly ask you to help him. In the end, it will turn out like in the parable about the donkey and the bull, in which the simple-minded donkey, wanting to help the bull, began to do hard work for him, that is, he took on his burden, to his own detriment. Such pity on your part will simply leave you in the cold. In addition, some people, as you know, perceive other people's pity as weakness and take advantage of it - putting pressure on this feeling in order to gain some benefit. This is a very ugly and even disgusting manipulation, which is used, for example, by the same beggars who do not want to work. And we, it seems, have all our hearts for the person, we feel sorry for him, we want to help him, but he craps into our souls. A familiar situation, That's it. That’s why it’s important to understand who deserves our pity and in what situations, and who doesn’t. Let's return to this issue a little later, below I will tell you how to get rid of the feeling of pity, and there we will raise it again. In the meantime, let's talk a little about an equally harmful form of pity - self-pity.

Self pity

Self-pity is a very harmful habit for a person, developed as a result of his inability to cope with difficulties, his inability to solve problems and his lack of self-confidence. It may be due to the fact that in childhood a person was pitied too much and too often, as a result of which the line between his parents showing love for him and that very excessive care for him that I wrote about above was simply erased. That is, excessive care for a person is detrimental to him. In such cases they say: “If you want to destroy a person, start feeling sorry for him.” And I would clarify: if you want to destroy a person, pinch or squeeze him. This will be more correct. And in the end, what happens is that a person is accustomed to pity, he does not perceive his weakness as something wrong, abnormal, unnecessary for him, which he needs to get rid of, but instead he can even enjoy it. So, from a seemingly noble act, pity can turn into one of the forms of a person’s dependence on external circumstances and other people, with which a person can live his whole life. After all, it is always easier to justify your weakness, laziness, stupidity, your mistakes than to correct them. And in order to do this, you need to feel sorry for yourself, make yourself a victim of circumstances in your own eyes, and, if possible, in the eyes of other people, so that they pat you on the head and wipe your nose. All this, of course, is very touching, but not useful.

Some people like to suffer, cry, complain about their lives, pour out their souls to someone to calm themselves down. And you know that, sometimes, I emphasize, sometimes, they really need it in order to unload, to cleanse themselves of bad thoughts, to get rid of pain, to get rid of that unnecessary burden that has accumulated in their soul as a result of an unfavorable combination of circumstances and their own mistakes. But such cleansing should not become an end in itself. You can’t constantly feel sorry for yourself just to do nothing and blame everything on circumstances and other people, and even on yourself, just to, I repeat, do nothing. Pity - it’s like a sting - stings right in the heart, and we do it to ourselves, we pity ourselves, we ourselves suppress our will when we feel sorry for ourselves. So you need to get rid of harmful pity, and below we will talk about how to do this.

How to get rid of feelings of pity

Well, now let's look at what is probably the most important question for some of you - the question of how to get rid of feelings of pity. From the very pity that harms you and prevents you from achieving your goals. I, of course, understand perfectly well that sometimes we need to make this difficult choice for many of us - between other people’s interests, other people’s well-being and personal gain, and it needs to be done in such a way as not to be left in the cold, so as not to lose, so to speak. At the same time, your conscience may tell you one thing, and your mind another. On the one hand, you will feel sorry for the person if you don’t feel sorry for him, but on the other hand, you need to take care of yourself, solve your problems and tasks. So, sometimes, yes, you need to forget about pity, even when people really need it, and act in a way that benefits you. Therefore, this choice can be called a choice between conscience and profit. How to do it?

Friends, let’s use logic and think about whether our and in particular your help to those people who, from your point of view, need it, is really what they really need? Now, suppose you felt sorry for a person, so what? Has the world changed for the better? Has this person changed for the better? Or maybe you have become better? Hardly. Or rather, our pity does not always lead to something good. And often no one needs our pity at all. Do you know why? Because people should be independent, responsible and strong, and not rely on the pity of others. In addition, do not forget that you owe yourself no less than others. I'm talking about those cases when you feel sorry for someone to the detriment of your interests. We are, of course, taught to be altruists, taught to help other people, taught to be kind and good, so that the lives of all people as a whole would be better. And indeed, it is impossible without this - the world cannot and should not consist of only heartless and ruthless egoists, otherwise it will be impossible to live in it. Nevertheless, no one will deny that the same evil, no matter how anyone understands it, was, is and will be, which means that such actions that, let’s say, will go against our conscience, are not only inevitable, but they must be in our lives. In other words, no matter how much you feel sorry for other people, the world will not change much because there was good and evil in it, so they will be, because they must be. And you, as a person, will always remain a sinner, both from the point of view of “original sin” and from the point of view of common sense. Because you cannot always do good and right, always and everywhere do good, no matter how much you want to. Because life cannot consist only of good, there must also be evil in it, otherwise we will not understand what good is. In that case, why don't you do what your mind tells you to do instead of trying to be what you think you should be? Why would you feel sorry for people in situations where it makes no sense? If you do not feel sorry for a person in a situation where it is not beneficial for you, you will not become worse because of this, you will simply do something for yourself, and not for this person. And, as I already said, you owe yourself no less than others, and perhaps even more.

Besides this, as I already said, your pity, like your help, may actually not be needed by anyone in most cases. In some situations, you will think that by pitying a person you are doing good, but in fact you can harm him by indulging his weakness, laziness, stupidity, irresponsibility, and so on. Do you know what I mean? For example, the same beggars do not always need to give, because by doing this you only help them remain poor, because they do not need to work, they do not need to do anything useful for society or themselves, because good people will still give bread. Why does this world need people who don’t want to do anything? Think about it, think about the meaning of your pity and excessive kindness. After all, all your decisions and actions depend on the attitudes that are in your head, and believe me, they are not always correct. To understand that pity, whether for yourself or for others, is not always appropriate - do not put yourself before a choice between good and evil, put yourself before a choice between two or more evils. Do you feel the difference? Our good deeds are not always truly good and correct. So I repeat - choose between two or more evils, and not between good and evil, choose between your different right actions, and not between right and wrong. This makes it easier to ignore the voice of conscience, which makes you feel sorry for others, including to the detriment of yourself, and including to the detriment of those whom you feel sorry for.

Now let's move on to heavier artillery in our fight against unnecessary, unnecessary and harmful pity. And to do this, let's ask ourselves a more fundamental question - do people deserve pity at all? In your life, what kind of people were there more, those who, if you pitied them, became better, kinder, more honest, more decent, or those who perceived your pity as your weakness and climbed on your neck or other people who pitied them? As you can see, I am not asserting anything, but I suggest you think about your attitude towards other people, about your opinion about them. It is quite obvious that many, or maybe only some people, you know better, whom you feel sorry for, felt sorry for, or may feel sorry for in the future, may not deserve this very pity. When you show pity for other people, you base your decisions on the understanding that these people, for the most part, are good, kind, honest and decent, so you need to feel sorry for them, you need to help them. But I know that there are people who, in their decisions, proceed from the fact that all people are bad, evil, vicious and they do not deserve any pity. And these people who think so have no problems with feelings of pity and conscience. Therefore, for you, friends, it is advisable, if the feeling of pity really bothers you, excuse the expression, to proceed, first of all, from the understanding that all, well, almost all people are bad and evil, and therefore it is not just unprofitable to feel sorry for them , but even harmful. Because they don't deserve pity. I understand that this may not sound entirely objective, not quite beautiful and not entirely correct. But if you constantly feel sorry for everyone and do it to your own detriment, then you need such an attitude in order to simply change your attitude towards other people for the worse on an emotional level, and then you will lose the desire to feel sorry for them and help them. But I warn you that you under no circumstances need to become a ruthless misanthrope and misanthrope. And it’s not even that it’s just not good – it’s unprofitable. Bad, angry, cruel people who hate everyone and never help anyone often receive the same bad attitude towards themselves. Fierce hatred of people, as well as excessive love for them, is simply the other extreme, which also must be avoided.

Now let's draw your attention to another very important reason why people feel pity for others. To do this, I will ask you a provocative question - isn’t your pity for other people connected with self-pity? Wait, don’t rush to answer it, think a little about it. You need to understand the motive behind your actions. The fact is that many people who feel pity for others subconsciously expect the same pity for themselves. And she, too, as we found out, is very harmful to humans. And if you want to be pitied, so you yourself feel sorry for others, then you need to solve the problem with your weakness, since self-pity is associated with it. You need to hate this weakness, roughly speaking, in order to want to get rid of it. A strong person does not need other people's pity; moreover, for him it is very suspicious, since it makes him think that someone is trying to gain his trust in this way. Weak people, on the contrary, ask for pity for themselves and for this they can feel sorry for others. That is, the problem of pity in this case is largely related to a person’s weakness, which he needs to get rid of. In addition, if we proceed from the idea I indicated above that many people are evil, bad, vicious, then you can rest assured that most of those whom you have pitied will not regret you. Think about it. After all, the less you begin to see good in other people, the less you will count on them and the less you will feel sorry for them. So don’t expect pity from people, even if some of them can give it to you, and without any self-interest, still don’t expect it, because many of them will not feel sorry for you.

And of course, you need to learn to rely more on yourself, so as not to seek consolation in pity, but in strength, your own strength, in your own capabilities. You need self-confidence, not pity. When you are confident enough in yourself, you will begin to rely less on other people and therefore the need to help them, subconsciously or consciously counting on reciprocity, that is, that they will also help you when you need their help, you will no longer be there. And if you also begin to clearly understand that your help and your pity for another person will result in not just a loss of some benefit for you, but also certain problems, then you will no longer have either the desire or any reason to feel sorry help someone and someone. So, in order not to count on other people - on their pity and help, just get into your head the idea that all people, with rare exceptions, are evil and bad, and that they not only don’t need your help, but it is also harmful, both for you and for them. I won’t say that this is an entirely correct attitude, that feeling sorry for other people and counting on their pity yourself, and also believing that all people are bad and evil is correct, but I repeat, in cases where a feeling of pity prevents you from living and you If you can’t consciously control it, you can fight it this way.

In general, we need pity. Without it, life in our society will become much more difficult. I believe that people need to feel sorry for each other, but only in special cases when it is really necessary. Pity helps to get rid of mental pain, and with its help you can provide the necessary support to a person in trouble. This feeling in itself humanizes people, it helps them trust each other more, helps them get through difficult times, and allows them to show love to each other. But we should not forget that we must always look at life from different sides, including from the side that shows us its dark side, on which any, even the most sacred feelings, are used by some very cynical, immoral and in a ruthless manner. Therefore, pity can be both a holy and at the same time a cruel feeling, causing harm to the one who pities someone, the one who is pitied, and the one who feels sorry for himself. Do not paint this feeling with one brush, do not think that it can always be only harmful or only useful, or be solely a manifestation of weakness. Your task is to rid yourself of the extremes to which you can fall because of this feeling, so as not to be too kind or too evil. Then you can use pity for your own benefit, rather than being led by it.

How can I find out what the problem is?

How to feel sorry for a girl with words when she feels bad? First you need to find out what upset the beautiful lady so much. If not a single thought comes to your mind about this, then ask her about it directly. Be prepared for the fact that she will not give a complete answer, but, most likely, will get off with a banal “nothing.” No need to get angry about it. Be patient and try again to find out the cause of her upset.

Your job is to show how much you care about her. Moreover, you are always ready to support her in difficult times.

Ask the question: “How can I help you?” This will make it easier for you to understand what happened and what actions she expects you to take.

Formulate the right questions

Instead of asking why, why and how, ask yourself:

What could I have done to prevent this situation from happening?
What time do I need to leave home in order to arrive at the office on time?
How long will it actually take me to complete the report?
What can I do to fix this?

Choose a problem that you feel you cannot influence. Focus on the solution by asking yourself the last question from the list above often.

Call or message

How to feel sorry for a girl with words via SMS? To reassure your friend with a message when she is feeling bad, you should write something pleasant. But besides this, your message should include information that will help the girl cope with the current situation.

If you don't know the cause of your concern, then support via SMS is pointless. In this case, it is better to call or meet. Do not deceive yourself and her, if you really want to calm her down, then during the conversation the reason for her upset will become clear to you.

Best communication method

If a person wants to cry and speak out, then correspondence in a messenger or social network is not the best option. Today, almost everyone has a smartphone with a video camera. Therefore, it is best to conduct a “psychotherapy session” via video conference.

A person is designed in such a way that it is easier for him to throw out accumulated emotions when he sees the face of his interlocutor and hears his voice. Plus, it’s much easier to blurt out your entire story in 5 minutes than to spend twice as much time writing text in a chat window.

However, it all depends on the interlocutor and the situation. If the problem is not that big and it is easier for a person to express his thoughts in text format, then it is better not to insist on video calling or talking on the phone.

To calm down a sad or hysterical person, you don’t have to be a psychologist. Usually it is enough to express a willingness to listen, not interrupt, and give a couple of careful tips that can improve the situation.

Support

How to feel sorry for a girl with words when she is tired? It doesn’t matter whether you agree with her arguments or not, convince her that you are ready to be with her and help. Take her to a calm and quiet place where she can cry. Tell her that you will be on her side in any situation:

“I understand perfectly well that this is difficult for you. I'm really sorry".
“I can’t even imagine where you get so much strength from. It must be very difficult.”
“Please tell me how can I help you?”

How to feel sorry for a girl with words in SMS? When your friend is tired, you can use the phrases written above. However, if you are in a loving relationship, then do not forget to write about how much you value her. Moreover, you can invite her to relax together, so you will have a good weekend and help your chosen one regain strength.

Possibilities

The fifth and one of the simplest steps will be to reformulate familiar phrases. By repeating the same action regularly, we form a habit. We replace the words I am forced, I must, I have to with the phrase: I have the opportunity.

I have the opportunity to clean my cozy home
I have the opportunity to work and earn money
I have the ability to complete fairly labor-intensive projects
I have the opportunity to spend time with my family

After a week of constant replacement, you will not hesitate to look at unpleasant moments from the opposite side.

Refrain from giving advice

Most people tend to get upset when it is difficult to find a way out of the current situation. So don't try to give any advice. Most likely, all options for solving the problem have been thought out earlier. And your recommendations can only aggravate the situation, since the beautiful person will once again be convinced that the situation is truly hopeless.

Let's consider options for how to feel sorry for a girl with words in this case:

“I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you right now.”
“Unfortunately, I do not have a ready-made solution for this situation. But know that I will always be on your side."
“What do you plan to do in this case?”

Advantages and disadvantages

Everything is learned by comparison, let's see what is better, life with or without complaints:

I feel sorry for myself

No complaints

And there is a more thorny, but ultimately successful path: give up complaining and take responsibility for your actions.

Below, I will give several practical ways to get rid of pity and gain control over your life. Summarizing our comparison, we conclude that it is easier to live with complaints. There is no need to make an effort; there will be people who will pay us a little attention. But in this case, we will never be happy, we will have a lot of reasons to swallow our hands.

Don't downplay the problem

Under no circumstances tell a girl that she is crying because of nonsense. Such statements may be perceived as an indifferent attitude towards her. Remember that you are there to support her or try to solve the difficulties that have arisen together.

How to feel sorry for a girl with words in this case? Under no circumstances should you say the following phrases:

“You were too good for this job. Trust me, she wasn't worth your time." If a girl is upset, it means she really regrets that she lost the opportunity to work there.
“I completely understand how you feel right now.” Each person experiences the same feelings differently, so you cannot know what is going on in the soul of your interlocutor.
“You’ll be fine, you’re so strong.” Even very resilient people sometimes need to be weak. Therefore, do not force the girl to think that she cannot show her weakness with you.
"I understand exactly what u mean. This happened to me once...” Remember, this isn't about your problems right now. You must listen and support your interlocutor.

How to pay?

Step four. You have to pay for everything, and our situation is no exception. On the path to a successful life, you need to determine what you are willing to give in exchange for a positive result:

Laziness that prevents you from learning a foreign language and finding a better paid position?
The fear that keeps you from going to the gym to lose those extra pounds?
Envy that makes you focus on your neighbor's life instead of your own?
Is it greed that keeps you from attending development events?

Let's right now choose a few things without which we will have less reason to resort to humiliating pity.

How to feel sorry for a girl with words when she is sick?

Compliments and encouraging phrases can always support a person in difficult situations. Sometimes you can just have a heart-to-heart talk.

For a sick girl, words are not as important as care and support. Wish her a speedy recovery, arguing that you feel very bad without her.

Bring her fruit, her favorite flowers or treats. Invite her to watch an interesting movie.

TOP 7 prohibited phrases to calm down

The following words will only worsen a person’s state of mind:

“A friend of mine actually had a real problem! But he copes with it successfully. Your problem is sheer nonsense!”;
“You just need to calm down;
“Try to distract yourself. Go in for sports (find a partner, take a walk, etc.)”;
"Do not think about it";
“You're too sensitive. You can’t react to every problem like that!”;
"It's horrible! I can’t imagine how you can live with this now!”;
“You just misbehaved. Next time, be sure not to be so hot-tempered (soft, inconsiderate, etc.).”

Adviсe

How to feel sorry for a girl with words, but do it carefully so as not to upset her even more?

Follow the basic rules:

Do not leave. If you notice that your chosen one is not ready to talk now, wait a little.
Once she calms down, offer her your help.
If you see that you are unable to help her cope, then invite her to talk to a friend.
Humor is inappropriate. Don't try to cheer up a girl who is depressed.
If a woman keeps telling you that she wants to be alone, then give her space. But don’t go far, perhaps she will soon call you because she needs support.

I'll do it today

We all have certain dreams and plans. For me, it was morning jogging. I started on Monday, from the first of January, from the beginning of the next month. After a couple of days, my classes were interrupted, there were more important things to do. I found a better solution. The sixth step is to do it today. If it's a minor task, like running or drawing, spend about thirty minutes doing it right now. If this is a larger-scale event, do some part, for example, set aside some money for a vacation or monitor websites with hotels where it would be the most affordable to stay.

Thus, we act here and now, which motivates much more than tomorrow, Mondays or any other future.

Recommendations

Some men misunderstand how to calm a girl down with words. Let's consider recommendations that will help you avoid mistakes when communicating with a girl who needs support:

Most guys choose phrases that start an argument. As a result, the girl begins to get even more excited, and as a result, a real scandal breaks out with tears.
Don't suddenly change the topic of conversation. Many men find it difficult to listen to the same thing from a woman for some time. So he suggests changing the subject. The girl perceives this as an indifferent attitude towards her problems.
Don't ignore a woman's sadness and tears. Some men believe that only they can have serious problems, and girls simply suffer because of all sorts of little things. If you do not reassure your chosen one, then your relationship may soon end. No woman wants a man who treats her indifferently.

Sometimes it can be difficult to calm down an anxious girl, but if a guy truly loves her, he will do everything possible to prevent her from crying.

Source: fb.ru

adviсe

Introduction

Another question: how often do you sympathize with a friend whose lock broke before going out, or a colleague who was pressured by her boss or yelled at by her husband? Such situations evoke in us a feeling of compassion, we rush to listen to the person and help with advice. But most often, the purpose of complaints is to attract attention, and not to solve the problem.

Meanwhile, psychologists say that of all human emotions, the most useless and destructive is pity. When we feel sorry for ourselves, we focus on the consequences rather than the outcome. And we rarely think about what led to this outcome. As a result, we have a feeling of constant dissatisfaction with ourselves and there is no solution to how this can be avoided. If a bus left in front of us, most often what comes to mind are reasons that, in our opinion, had nothing to do with us. This is the position of a victim, where you have no influence on what happens. Without influence, we have a limited circle of responsibility, where we can only complain about circumstances.