Have you been unable to find a girl for a long time? Have you never had a girlfriend in your life? There is an illusion that there is not enough necessary information to achieve this goal. You look for articles on the Internet, go to psychological or pickup forums, study all sorts of theories of seduction, look at the experiences of other people, collect information about the psychology of women, study their needs. Are you figuring out how to set up a date, what to say, how to lead the conversation to a topic?
And still there is not enough information, it always seems that you haven’t learned something yet, haven’t understood something, so you go deeper into the theory again and again. You are constantly delaying taking action. Sometimes you make timid attempts to talk to someone, to get to know someone. You are held back by some internal brakes, and you still can’t make up your mind. When communicating with girls you feel constrained, you cannot openly say that you like someone, but you talk around the bush, not to the point. And there are many other reasons why you postpone the active phase of dating.
If you take action, you make only a few attempts that are not crowned with success. Failures constrain you even more; you don’t want to try again, lest you again feel a painful feeling of awkwardness. You give up, gloomy thoughts appear that you are not destined to ever find a mate, you become scared of remaining a virgin for life, scared that no one will ever love you because of some kind of ugliness. You begin to blame nature itself for being born so insecure. Aggression towards your parents appears for raising you to be such a complex person.
It seems that the situation is hopeless, that it will never end. Friends and acquaintances already have couples, some have already started families, maybe some of your friends constantly brag about their sexual adventures, and you have to lie about your own, fictitious ones. This is very sad. The feeling that no one likes you, that no one will ever love you is very painful, it is very difficult to live with.
The right attitude
Many single guys are so eager to have a relationship that they literally become obsessed. They only have beautiful girls in their minds, and everything else fades into the background. If you notice this about yourself, this is an alarming sign.
Do not make the sphere of love and relationships overly significant for yourself. There are still a lot of exciting and interesting things in the world - friends, sports, travel, self-development, music, science - take your mind off it. Do something new and unusual, make your life rich, and people will be drawn to you.
And while you are in a needy pose, it is very difficult to find someone. Normal girls will shy away from your hungry look. Be self-sufficient and open - this is the formula for success.
Stop being embarrassed by loneliness. Even if all your friends are in couples, this is not a reason to feel inferior. While you are still searching, appreciate your freedom and enjoy it.
Rule #8. Your appearance.
If you think that only men evaluate women first by their appearance, then you are deeply mistaken.
Girls pay attention to your figure, hands, shoes, hairstyle, clothing style. This first impression is as important to them as it is to us.
Therefore, you must be well-groomed, you must take care of yourself, go to the gym, keep yourself in shape.
Pay attention to your clothes. Be stylish and choose things that suit you. This will give you even more confidence, and therefore attractiveness in her eyes.
The ideal girl - what is she like?
Before you start searching, you need to identify significant criteria. Ask yourself what kind of girl you would like to see next to you. Imagine her in different situations - how she looks, how she behaves, what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what she does, what qualities she has. Write down everything that comes to your mind.
Have you recorded it? Now let's figure it out.
Appearance
Not all men have strict criteria for appearance - today they may like a petite blonde, and tomorrow a buxom brunette. If you are one of them, congratulations! One less headache.
If you have a clearly formed idea of female beauty, it will be a little more difficult for you. You will have to bring your appearance in line with your ideal. Let me give you an example.
The guy likes girls with model appearance - tall, slender, fit. And he himself is a stooped, bespectacled man, and with a potbelly to boot. The poor fellow will have to seriously work on himself to charm such a girl. It’s much easier to look at yourself soberly in the mirror and lower your expectations.
Almost all men agree that no matter what the girl is - thin or curvy, fair-haired or red-haired, tall or short - she should be well-groomed. Nobody likes messy people, and I think you don’t either. So write this criterion down in your notebook if you haven’t already. My good girls, if you happen to be reading this too, take note!
Universal qualities
We will not dwell on this point in detail. It is already clear to everyone that positive qualities such as kindness, mercy, responsiveness, generosity, friendliness, sociability attract, and negative qualities - anger, causticity, greed, hysteria - repel. The main thing is to be able to consider them in time.
Every man dreams of a decent and faithful girl. Unfortunately, you cannot immediately discern these properties, and no one can ever guarantee them for you - situations in life are different.
Interests
If you are looking for a girl to love and live together, and even more so to start a family, you need to choose one who will be your faithful friend and ally. It is advisable that your interests coincide or at least intersect. If you are obsessed with sports, look for someone like you, you like to travel, which means the girl should be easy-going, if you are a movie buff, great, let the lady of your heart also share your passion.
This approach will help solve several problems at once. Firstly, it will be easier for you to make acquaintances if you move in common circles. Secondly, you and your lover will always have something to talk about and do. You can learn from each other, develop and grow together.
Worldview
It’s great when a person has some principles, values, moral guidelines - this is what makes him a person. But their discrepancy in a couple very often leads to conflicts and contradictions. If you have your own views on life, which you will never compromise, before starting a relationship, make sure that your chosen one shares them or at least does not object to them.
This may concern religion, political views, attitudes towards marriage and children. Ask the girl what she thinks about the areas of life that are important to you, but do not try to impose your point of view on her. In case of irreconcilable differences, it is better to limit yourself to friendship.
There are, of course, situations when love is stronger than everything else, and people are ready to seek a compromise. But, as a rule, after the end of the candy-bouquet period, when the riot of hormones subsides, a person discovers a strange, and sometimes even hostile, creature next to him and does not know what to do about it.
Subconscious unpreparedness for a relationship and lack of feedback from a man in a relationship
Sometimes a man who is outwardly attractive and does not suffer from a lack of female attention, still experiences difficulties in finding a girl. Relationships that begin quickly end.
Here the reason may be unpreparedness for a new relationship or lack of return from the man in it.
If a relationship doesn’t work out over and over again, a young man should think about what he really wants from a relationship. Maybe you need easy and relaxed communication, an opportunity to have fun together? Or is he looking for a trusting, serious relationship to subsequently start a family? Should a girl be, first of all, a friend and share his views? Or is just a mistress enough? Having understood himself and understood what kind of relationship he needs right now, it will be easier for a man to decide what kind of girl to look for. And perhaps he will understand that now it is better to be alone.
Difficulties in finding a girl can also arise from the fact that the man is not giving back in the relationship. The partner does not feel interested and stops communication. This may not be true, it’s just that a man cannot express his feelings.
There is only one way out of this situation - work on yourself. Having learned to express his feelings, the young man will immediately notice how his relationships with girls have changed.
It is a mistake to passively accept signs of attention from a girl. You need to take reciprocal steps, show interest, reveal yourself as a person.
Where to look for a girl
Now that you have a clear idea about your future girlfriend, it will be much easier for you to find her. Let's get into it right now.
Among friends
First, take a closer look at your friends, perhaps among them there is the same one, you just haven’t considered it yet. Friendship quite often develops into love and, as a rule, such unions are the strongest and most durable. Communicate more often with friends of both sexes, spend time in large companies, go on trips together. This increases your chances of having a long and strong relationship.
Among classmates, fellow students, work colleagues
We spend most of our lives first at school and then at work. It's no surprise that many relationships begin there. Everyone wants to combine business with pleasure, especially since common activities always bring us closer together.
If you are studying, spend more time with classmates or classmates outside the walls of the educational institution. Walk together after school, go to a cafe or cinema in large groups, have parties, discos. Joint outings will allow you to move communication from purely formal to warmer.
At work there are corporate events for such purposes. It’s not for nothing that they are discussed for another six months. Be sure to visit them and be in the center of events, do not sit modestly in a corner. You have a chance to meet colleagues from other departments and show yourself as an active, cheerful and sociable person.
Among like-minded women
By like-minded women we mean girls who share your interests. If you visit the gym or swimming pool, meet and chat with girls there. If you play mind games, there are probably beautiful and interesting ladies among your rivals. Basically, you just need to be outgoing and passionate about something. If you don’t have a hobby yet, start one immediately.
How to Find a Girl: 5 Steps
It is rare to meet a man who would forever link his fate with the first girl he liked. Most often, representatives of the stronger sex go through periods in their lives when it seems that their main goal is to communicate with as many women as possible, of different ages and types.
But in the end this game of chance loses its meaning, because sooner or later men's values change. In addition, any constant variety becomes monotony.
Another category should include guys who have never been good at communicating with the opposite sex, and, having solemnly accepted the status of “actively searching,” go through life in splendid isolation, hugging their boring pillow in the morning instead of the woman they love.
As an alternative, you can connect your own life path with a mediocre girl, convincing yourself that this is the very fate from which you cannot hide.
In general, it doesn’t matter which category of men you belong to, besides, such a classification is quite arbitrary, but all guys, without exception, periodically have the question of how to find a girl to start a relationship with her?
#1. Don't be obsessed with finding a girl.
Read: the best books on pickup trucks
Paradoxically, for many men, one of their main obstacles in finding a relationship is the desire to find a girl.
They are obsessed with this need, exhibiting obsessive behavior and acting needy. And when guys meet a girl they like, they usually scare her away for the stated reason.
When a woman feels that a man is too interested in her, his desperate zeal to get the girl at any cost can only have the opposite effect.
Don't worry too much about how to find a girl. Instead, allow the relationship process to develop naturally, otherwise you are clearly broadcasting to the world around you that you are ready to do whatever it takes to win a woman’s favor.
This kind of thinking is akin to suicidal thinking.
Women like men who choose who they will associate with. And it is precisely with this philosophy that you must walk through life if you want to be with a bright girl who knows her worth.
#2. Don't jump to conclusions
Another mistake that many men make is wanting to get ahead of things. Nothing is clear or understandable yet, but castles in the air have already been erected in their heads, in which the new acquaintance resides in the form of their beloved wife.
Guys catch their eye on a girl they like, and in the short term they begin to fantasize about kissing and romantic dates. They are in love with an unfamiliar beauty even before they begin to communicate with the girl.
In this way, men send a clear message to their minds that they are impressed and infatuated with this person. The guys are absolutely convinced that she is exactly the ideal girl they have always dreamed of.
As a result, they focus all their attention on the new acquaintance, ignoring other options and flaunting their ingratiation and neediness. Such behavior, having particular negative effectiveness, kills all chances for a favorable outcome of communication.
Be sure that your mind is deceiving you!
It seems to you that this girl is exceptional and has some unique qualities. But in reality, there are thousands of Russian-speaking girls on planet Earth who can become a source of manifestation of the same feelings.
The truly true mental attitude is this: there is no one and only, but there are many possibilities.
Put your obsession away and instead focus on creating an abundance of women in your life.
Instead of being a serial monogamous romantic, focusing your energy on one girl, start going on a lot of dates with many different women.
When you have a large female social circle, regardless of whether all your friends are suitable for you as a girlfriend or not, you become a man who has a choice.
Now you dictate your terms and begin to look more objectively at new women you know, more accurately determining your true attitude towards them, since you were able to eliminate the prism of fear, uncertainty, neediness and ingratiation.
When the right girl comes into your life, you will know it immediately. But you also realize that there can be many such women.
When you can develop peace of mind, girls will instantly notice this, and the level of your attractiveness in their eyes will go up, which will make it much easier for you to move in the desired direction.
#3. Meeting a girl
You won't be able to find a girl unless you get to know her. But initially you need to figure out what kind of girl you want to find.
Then you should go to those places where women, as they say, hang out, to meet a girl and develop communication with her, ending with an exchange of contacts.
After receiving the phone number, you must ask the girl out on a date.
So, let's go.
Define your goal
You need to develop a clear idea of what type of girl you need, mentally drawing an image and identifying the features of your future lover in the smallest detail.
Think about the girls you liked, whom you knew in your life, and about their qualities that sank into your soul.
Your task is to determine the most complete and conscious vision of your goal, without pushing yourself into too strict limits.
Be careful when choosing a girl's physical characteristics, because otherwise you may inadvertently exclude from your attention the beautiful people you would really be crazy about. Don't be too picky, but also don't give in at critical moments.
A 2008 study found that men enjoy talking to girls more when they know who they want to meet.
In addition, later you will be surprised that if you define your goal, girls who match it will begin to appear in your life much more often.
To increase your chances of finding a girl faster, try visualization.
Find a place to meet a girl
If you decide not to correspond with a girl in order to meet her via the Internet, you will have to go out into the street in order to establish contact with an unfamiliar beauty.
By the way, great news: now you know what kind of girl you want to find. For you, this also means that now, based on the type of girl you have determined, you can set where to look for her.
For example, if you want to meet girls who love sports, it makes sense to attend a sporting event or a gym.
It's not so easy to find sports-loving girls in the library. But if you want a friend who loves books, the library might be the perfect place to do your fighting.
You should consider various places that are visited by a large number of people. In some of them there will be more girls suitable for you, in others - less, in others - there will be none at all. The only way to find out is to go there and look around.
Hitting on a girl
Here we come to the most frightening part of meeting a girl for many guys. To be honest, there is nothing wrong with establishing contact with a girl, you just need training and experience. In fact, this is the most interesting part of dating, and it's true.
Now that you have determined what kind of girl you want to find and where to find her, you should start approaching girls and talking to them.
Read in more detail:
- How to approach a girl.
- How to meet a girl.
Don't worry about being nervous because it's completely normal. And in general, there are only two types of approaches to girls: successful and training, so you are always in profit.
Imagine that this is a game, and you started all this not in order to achieve some goal, but just for fun, because it’s fun. But it's really fun!
Try to approach at least three new girls per day, which will result in you talking to over 20 girls in one week.
If this pace is too harsh for you, determine for yourself an acceptable intensity. For example, you can get acquainted on weekends, and also involve a partner in this matter. But remember that at the very beginning the main aspect is the systematicity of your actions.
Be sociable
The easiest way to relieve stress and relax when interacting with girls is to simply become sociable.
Be sociable with everyone: with neighbors, elderly and young people, inspectors in transport, sellers and customers in line at the store, everyone else.
Becoming sociable is like pumping up your communication muscles. It may seem stupid and too trivial, but once you start talking to strangers, communication becomes a fun game and the fear goes away.
When you start talking to girls, conduct a dialogue with them the same way as with everyone else.
Women are not some strange and incomprehensible creatures. You don't need to dance lezginka for a girl or perform a solo song, just talk to her like an ordinary person.
Ask her how she spent her day, find out what she is doing here, comment on the book she is reading, share your opinion about the environment around you.
As you become more social and practice your dating skills, you'll start to get a lot more signals from them inviting you to start chatting with them.
You may not have learned to pick them up yet, but in 1985, scientists found that women constantly signal to men that they are ready to get to know them. You just need to get their attention and then respond to their subtle signs.
Flirt with a girl
When you're talking to someone new, you should start flirting. Don't worry if you haven't flirted with girls before because it's not difficult.
Read: what is a pickup truck
A simple and effective example of non-verbal flirting is to put a half-smile on your face and look at the girl out of the corner of your eye. Do this if she says something stupid or unbelievable.
An example of verbal flirting: choose a harmless hook and tease the girl with it. If she eats pizza or potato chips, say “Wow! So you’re a junk food lover!” If she's reading a book, you can say, "Wow, what are you stuffing your head with!" Remember to use a playful voice so that the girl knows that you are just joking.
Flirting is necessary to make your intentions clear to a woman in a playful way. Otherwise, either the girl will not understand what you want from her (What if you are planning to sell her something? Or maybe you want to become friends with her?), or your true intention will be too obvious, something like “Girl, I like you. Let’s get acquainted, after which we will jump in bed at my house, and then you will become my girlfriend.”
Exchange phone numbers
All the actions you take, be it planning, approaching a girl, communicating with her or flirting, will not bring any benefit if you do not exchange contacts with a new acquaintance.
You can simply suggest exchanging phone numbers: “Let's exchange phone numbers. Call the number.”
But you can do things a little differently, for example, say: “Let’s meet during the week and have coffee.” If the girl agrees, then ask her for her phone number.
#4. Preparing for a date with a girl
A message with intrigue
About three hours after you say goodbye to the girl, after exchanging phone numbers, you can send her a text message. The purpose of the message is to remind you of yourself and interest the girl.
The text could, for example, be like this: “By the way, your eau de toilette is delicious.”
But if you want to really create suspense, write something like this: “I think I know something about you.” And when the girl asks “So what?”, you will not send her a message, but only answer the next day “This is very personal. Let’s do it better when we meet.” In response to requests to explain everything in correspondence, you should stand your ground.
It is difficult for you to imagine what effect such a turn of events will have, because the most interesting information for any person is that which is connected with his personality, and at the same time hidden under the veil of secrecy.
By the time of your date, without actually doing anything, you will be able to emotionally bring the girl closer to you, because all this time she will be thinking about you and what you know.
When you meet and she asks, so what do you really know, you can answer:
- You have beautiful blue eyes.
- You have a very sweet smile.
- I noticed one trait in you that for many men does not matter, but for me it is very important. Most modern girls are quite frivolous about relationships between a guy and a girl, but you are not like that. You are ready to completely surrender to your feelings, but only with that person whom you really like very much and sincerely.
Planning a date
If you decide to go on a date with a girl, you can choose one of three options:
- Speed dating.
- Combined date
- Comfortable date.
The choice depends on the interest you feel in yourself from the girl.
If you feel that the level of interest is not too high, it is better to decide to go on a speed date. In this case, you should meet the girl in a cafe, and it is recommended to set the duration of communication to no more than one hour. You simply talk to the girl, let her get to know you better, and then end the date by saying that you need to run.
When you are sure that the girl is definitely interested in you, choose a combination date that involves several stages that the girl will not know about in advance. You can take her for a ride in a car, stopping in some beautiful place in nature, then visit a cafe, and then take a walk with the girl along the embankment. As a result, changing places and events will create the effect of not a first, but at least a second date, bringing you closer to the desired outcome.
If you meet a girl who really likes you, opt for a comfortable date. All you need to do in this case is just invite the girl to your favorite place. This can be any option that most appeals to you, for example, a walk along the city streets, visiting a cafe or amusement park.
Read: where to ask a girl out on a date
Once you've chosen your date, it's time to figure out the details: where you'll meet the girl and what you'll do with her.
You can plan like this:
- Meeting a girl next to such and such a store.
- The path to the cafe.
- Chat with a girl for 45 minutes.
- Ending communication.
By planning your date in advance, you can gain control over it, avoid awkward moments, and eliminate uncertainty when making the most important decisions.
However, don't take planning too seriously and don't try to make the date too difficult. And especially don’t plan all your words and actions.
Invitation to a date
Now, a few days after we met, it’s time to call the girl and ask her out on a date.
Read: How to ask a girl out on a date
If you called and the girl did not answer, call back in about an hour again. If the girl doesn’t pick up the phone again, it’s better to never call her again.
Still, anything can happen, so if the girl doesn't answer the first call, send her a text message. In this case, silence on her part will become a reason for you to call another girl.
#5. From dating to relationship with a girl
Make your date a fun and playful event.
A date is not something important and responsible, and certainly not like passing an exam or interviewing for a job.
The girl will be trying to decide if you are the person she wants to invest her time and emotions in, someone who can become one of the most important people in her life.
In order for a girl to make a choice in your favor, in addition to the presence of fundamental masculine qualities, one of the most important elements of attraction will be of great importance - your cheerful playful behavior, as well as flirting.
Women are always able to rightfully appreciate a sense of humor. If you're on a boring date and you're clearly trying to impress the girl instead of being sarcastic, teasing, and flirting while having fun, you're unlikely to succeed.
Investing in Communication
People value the relationships they are invested in. And the more they invest, the higher the value of the investment object becomes.
Why is this happening?
Surely you know this trick: when you are happy, you smile, but when you are sad, and you start smiling, you will feel happy.
For the same reason, when a girl loves, she begins to do something for her lover, but when she voluntarily begins to do something for a new acquaintance, she slowly and inadvertently falls in love with him.
Most guys at the very beginning put all the responsibility of building a relationship on their shoulders, as a result of which they fall in love with a girl, while she cannot feel that elusive spark that is so necessary for her.
To emerge victorious in such situations, you should encourage her to start investing in the relationship. And we're not talking about renting your friend a limousine or buying you an expensive watch.
Instead, invite her to show you interesting photos that she mentioned during the conversation or treat you to her treat. Ask her to sit next to you, bring napkins, cut zucchini, buy gum, etc.
Just look for seemingly small ways to do something for you, and you will notice that her passion for the date and you will only increase.
Ending the date
A date usually ends in one of three ways:
- Ending a date without a kiss.
- Ending the date with a kiss.
- Inviting a girl home.
Here, guys, you will have to act according to the circumstances.
If you yourself didn’t really like the conversation, then there’s no point in trying to give your friend a kiss, she’ll interrupt you. Save your energy for a more interesting beauty.
When you feel that a girl was comfortable in your company, it is better not to let her go without trying to kiss her.
If the date is going well, and you and the girl don’t feel like calling it a day today, invite her to your home.
Keep in mind that if your date is young enough, then if she accepts your invitation, you might want to consider whether she is an easy-to-get girl.
Second date
After a great first date, take a break for one day, then contact the girl and invite her on a second date.
Try to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. If the girl is free on the day you call, why hesitate? Make a second date tonight.
Speed is important in developing relationships. The less time passes from the moment you meet to intimate events, the greater your chances of not being classified as friends.
Intimacy
After the second date, you may need a third date.
By the way, in order to have counterbalances and more relaxed communication with your friend, set up dates with other girls at the same time. Moreover, at the current stage of communication, your new acquaintance is a nobody, because in fact, the relationship begins after the first sexual contact.
Use different places for dates while remaining the same interesting and fun conversationalist.
Don't forget to touch and hug your girl, because tactile sensations are an important step in developing trust and comfort.
At the end of the date, invite the girl home to consolidate what you started.
You found a girl
As already mentioned, intimacy is the starting point in the relationship between a man and a woman. Most likely, but...
Even after the first night spent together, do not give yourself up to be torn apart by feelings, control yourself. A girl can become emotional and then change her behavior.
It is quite possible that she is in love with someone else, and for her you are just an option to satisfy her physiological needs. And in general, during the first 6 months of your relationship with a girl, keep a healthy distance.
Despite this, it is recommended to do the following:
- Don't wait too long the next day to contact your girl.
- Establish an emotional connection with your friend.
- Start systematically spending time together.
In the morning after the girl leaves, send her a message: “The night was wonderful. I hope you're not too tired :).”
Make an appointment with the girl again in the near future, and then you know what to do.
How and where to invite a girl on a date
The acquaintance has taken place, the object of your sighs has given the go-ahead for communication, now you can go on the attack. Invite your new flame to meet and spend time together. Don't be shy, speak confidently and friendly. If she agreed, show joy and go get ready for the rendezvous. If the young lady refuses, do not persuade her - express slight regret and leave her alone. She might change her mind later and let you know.
Choose an interesting and stylish place where you will feel comfortable communicating. A movie or a noisy bar won't do; you need to get to know each other better, and not just sit next to each other.
Here are some original and unusual ideas for where to go with a girl on a first date.
- Intellectual quizzes
Games like Quiz and What? Where? When? are gaining more and more popularity every day. It's fun, emotional and educational. At the same time, check the intellectual abilities of your chosen one, if, of course, this item is on the list of your criteria.
- Quests
Also modern and interesting leisure time. Together you will solve riddles, solve puzzles, and complete tasks. You will be impressed for months to come.
- Master classes in painting (cooking, music, dancing, etc.)
Joint activities always bring you closer together - take advantage of this. Learn something interesting and useful. Who knows, maybe you will be so captivated by a new activity that you and your girlfriend will decide to enroll in long-term courses.
- Planetarium or observatory
Stars are mysterious and romantic. A girl will remember such a date for the rest of her life. Just don’t forget to check the weather forecast in advance so you don’t have to look through a telescope at a thick veil of clouds. And learn a couple of constellations to show off your knowledge in front of your chosen one.
- Tasting of exotic dishes and drinks
Some modern trendy restaurants offer this service. There they bring you dishes the size of a five-ruble coin on huge plates and strange drinks in test tubes. Stylish and conceptual. The girl will be delighted - she will now have photos for Instagram six months in advance.
You can give yourself a break
Finding your soulmate is quite hard work. You need to create a profile on a dating site, spend time choosing those who seem suitable to you, and then meet them, communicate, experience disappointments when the person turns out to be not who he said he was, or, on the contrary, you liked him and it seems that - it started to work out, but he took it and disappeared in an unknown direction. All this requires time and effort, and a lot of it.
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By giving up the search for love for a while, you can take back your life: spending time with friends, playing sports, watching your favorite movies, going to bed early or reading books.
What to do so that the first date does not turn out to be the last
Your task is to make a stunning impression. Show your real self, but from the best side. Remember a few tips.
- First of all, pay attention to appearance. Clothing can be simple, but modern and perfectly clean and ironed. Hair should be styled, nails well-groomed, beard and mustache beautifully decorated.
- Be polite and gallant. Let the girl go ahead, open the door, pour her drinks into a glass. I hope no one needs to be taught this?
- Take an active interest in the girl’s life, listen enthusiastically, and keep the conversation going. Don't sit and expect her to entertain you.
- Don't brag. There is nothing worse than coming across as an upstart and arrogant.
- Walk the lady home after the date and thank her for a wonderful evening. You can immediately express your hope for the next meeting.
- Nobody forbids you to try to kiss a girl. If she doesn't object, you've hit the jackpot. If he refuses, don’t be upset. This doesn't necessarily mean she didn't like you. She may want to get to know you better first or is afraid of seeming too approachable. Courage and perseverance will still play into your hands - your chosen one will remember your attempt with excitement.
You will be able to focus on yourself
It sounds pretty cliché, I know. But focusing on yourself is an important part of the life of a mentally healthy person, especially when he is in a stream of new acquaintances.
Dating is a constant state of anticipation. It's hard to be yourself when you're dating someone. If you want to please someone, it can be tempting to show off some better version of yourself. You may start to neglect many things that are important to you in order to free up more time for dating. For example, give up yoga, pay less attention to work, friends, even your beloved dog.
Pausing your search for a while will give you time to focus on yourself and get to know yourself again. You will be able to again spend time with those people who are dear to you, again do those things that are important and interesting to you.
And then, only after you've come to know and love yourself again may you be ready to dive into the world of dating with renewed vigor.
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Long distance relationships - do you need it?
It happens that when you accidentally meet a girl from another city on vacation or on the Internet, you are so blown away that you can no longer think about anyone else. And this madness also turns out to be mutual.
If this story is about you and the prospect of a correspondence relationship looms before you, think carefully about whether the game is worth the candle. What at first seems insanely romantic, in reality often turns out to be a complete headache.
If love comes suddenly, and you can’t do anything about it, take into account some nuances before rushing headlong into the maelstrom of a virtual relationship.
- It is advisable to see the girl in person at least once before getting involved in all this
The longer you communicate with a person, the clearer and clearer the image of him is formed in your head.
If there is a lack of information, the brain itself completes the missing links in the chain from what is there, seasoning everything with your illusions and fantasies. You may be bitterly disappointed at the first meeting after several months of communication.
If you don’t have the opportunity to meet yet, at least sometimes communicate via video chat and by phone, and don’t limit yourself to just texting.
- Prepare to feel jealous
Jealousy is a constant companion of long-distance relationships. When there is no way to control where and with whom a girl spends time, doubts and obsessive thoughts creep into her head. Do not hesitate to share your experiences with her - if your chosen one values you, she will do everything in her power to reassure and encourage you.
Just know when to stop! In some cases, you will have to handle it yourself so as not to burden your loved one. Otherwise, she will soon become suffocated from constant control and the need to justify herself, and she will fly free from this cage.
Keep in mind that your girlfriend may also feel jealous of you. Treat this calmly and with understanding. Do not give unnecessary reasons to doubt your loyalty.
- Don't leave your relationship in limbo
If you have really serious intentions and would like to connect your life with this girl, start discussing moving. Find out from her what she thinks about this, whether she is ready to move in with you or host you. If your chosen one does not plan to move and she is happy with everything, it is better for you to end the relationship with her, no matter how difficult it may be.
If she shares your intentions, discuss everything seriously down to the smallest detail. You shouldn't have any disagreements about this. Negotiate and look for compromises.
- Be ready to take responsibility
The person to whom they are moving bears the greatest responsibility. If you have agreed to live in your city, provide all the conditions so that your loved one is comfortable with you. Get your apartment in order, warn your parents and friends about her appearance in your life, and try to find the girl a job in advance.
Remember - a person leaves everything that is dear to him in order to be with you. This is quite a significant sacrifice, and you have to compensate for it with something. If you are not sure of your feelings and have doubts, you should not start this whole epic.
If you move, you will also have a hard time. You will have to leave your usual life, friends and family. It will take a long time before you adapt to a new place. If you feel coldness and doubts from the girl, don’t even think about going!
Watch this video and think again about all of the above.
What not to do when dating
Apathy - how to deal with it if you don’t want to do anything
Many young people make mistakes when meeting girls. There are several things you should not do when meeting representatives of the opposite sex:
- You should not insist if a girl decides to refuse an acquaintance. There could be many reasons for this. This happens because she already has a boyfriend, or she is in a hurry, perhaps she prefers girls over guys.
- Don't lay all your cards on the table. Guys should also remain a mystery. There is no need to tell everything about yourself, your preferences, work and interests. A woman should also be interested in communication, everything has its time.
- You can’t invite a girl to your home on the first evening you meet. It doesn’t always end in refusal, but if she agrees, thoughts about her easy behavior will be in her head. This will provoke unreasonable jealousy in the future.
- If the acquaintance ended with a trip to a cafe, you need to pay the general bill. The lady will appreciate such a gesture, it will play a role in sympathy.
- You cannot dress in untidy clothes. This will scare women away and your chances of success will be greatly reduced.
- One careless or rude phrase can alienate a person, and then it will be difficult to improve relationships.
- You cannot impose your male interests on girls. They won't understand it, they'll just be bored. Answer questions about fishing, cars and games only if they are received.
- You cannot interrupt your interlocutor during her story. She will think that the guy is inattentive to her.
The most useful materials for those who need a girl
In this block, I will recommend you the four best courses for guys who want to quickly and easily find a girl and build a happy relationship with her.
How to meet a girl on the Internet for sex or relationship
Description. The course talks about all the intricacies of online dating. You will learn how to properly design your pages on social networks or on special dating applications, clearly tell a girl about your goals, and conduct correspondence correctly.
After completing the training, you will easily write to girls and you will have several potential partners. All that remains is to choose one of them and start something more serious with it.
The course is suitable for everyone. It doesn't matter how old you are, what you look like, or where you work. If you want to meet people online instead of pestering girls on the street, seeking reciprocity, this is the place for you.
Author : Roman Vinilov.
Cost: from 4,900 rub.
Find out more and sign up
God of dating from Egor Sheremetyev
Description. The trick of this program is that it teaches you how to get to know everyone and everyone for all sorts of purposes. How to meet a girl who is at a higher social status, how to meet two girls at once, how to meet a beautiful girl who now has a boyfriend or is even married, how to meet online or offline.
There is theoretical material, usually in the format of text or video lessons, and practical exercises. Students begin to practice after the first lessons. In the course you will also find many videos in which Egor meets personally or his students meet. Look at dating principles in action and evaluate the results.
There are three tariffs, the cost of each is different - go to the course page and study.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: from 14,900 rub.
Find out more and sign up
Fearless: How to Overcome Insecurities and Start Meeting Girls
Description. I recommend this program primarily to those who are afraid, shy, complex and still live alone. You will learn how easy it is to become a confident man, stop being afraid to approach a girl on the street, and worry about the reaction of others.
Egor Sheremetyev will also tell you how to become the man that women are always crazy about, which distinguishes guys who easily build relationships from losers who suffer alone.
Author : Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 5,750 rub.
Find out more and sign up
How to meet and seduce a girl
Description . Egor Sheremetyev has been advising boys and men on relationship issues for more than 10 years. During this time, he conducted thousands of individual consultations, answered a huge number of letters from those who are unable to find a girl and plunge into love with her.
One hundred of the most difficult and problematic questions became the basis of this course. Egor answers them within four hours. You can purchase and watch a recording of his answers.
According to the men who bought this course, everyone can find a solution to their problems in it. Absolutely everyone. Let this program be your spectacular start in the world of relationships.
Author : Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 997 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
Macho Tinder
Description. Another cool program. Suitable for those who want to meet people through Tinder, Badoo and other similar applications. It's easy, but there are some subtleties that distinguish these applications from social networks and other resources. And Andrey Korepov will tell you in detail about all these subtleties.
The course also contains a lot of psychological material - how to react to refusals, how not to be shy and not to be afraid of anything, how to increase self-confidence despite some shortcomings in appearance, low earnings, lack of a good education, etc.
Author: Andrey Korepov (student of Egor Sheremetyev).
Cost: 6,990 rub.
Find out more and sign up
Dating goals
To meet representatives of the opposite sex, you need to define your goals. It is best that both partners have them the same. Then there will be no disagreements on the first date or later. Most often, men set themselves the following goals:
- Meet a woman to start a family or serious relationship.
- Find a permanent girl for a romantic relationship.
- Meet a girl for friendship.
- Dating for an intimate relationship.
How to become an optimist if you are a pessimist - is it real and what to do?
After defining the goal, you need to create an image in the head of your future partner in order to have a certain reference point. To do this, the following qualities are assessed:
- External data (hair color, eye color, body composition, height);
- Character traits (kindness, audacity, humility, pliability and others);
- A woman's intelligence (ability to maintain and develop a conversation).
The most ideal option for a man is a woman who suits him in appearance, is beautiful for him, and also knows how to carry on a conversation well.
Important! Nowadays, not only men, but also women meet for sexual relations.
Girl with a red dress and a bicycle
Content
- Where to begin
- Advice from psychologist Daria Milai on how to find your soul mate for a girl
- Steps
- Practical advice for those who want to find a soul mate
- What not to do
- Where will the ideal meeting take place?
- Advice for women
- Recommendations for men
- Warning
Introversion is not a death sentence!
Photo pixabay.com
In contrast to extroverts' openness to the outside world, introverts are more likely to turn to their inner world, and social interactions take up a lot of their energy. And this is at best, and at worst, it causes stress.
We live in a crazy world - from social networks, where “everything is on display” to working in an open space - it seems that everything is created for only extroverts. However, being an introvert is not that uncommon. Research shows that introverts make up between 30 and 50% of our population!
So, under no circumstances think that there is something wrong with you, and if so far your attempts to find a girl have not been successful, then try to change your tactics taking into account the characteristics of your nature.
Visit places that make you feel comfortable
Introverts do not like large crowds of people, noisy establishments, or meaningless small talk. And that's great! Don't force yourself to hang around places like this.
If loud music in a club makes you anxious, if it's not your environment, don't go there just to meet women. This most likely won't work because you won't be relaxed and open to meeting new people.
If you like quiet places, that's okay. You can meet a girl in a cafe, library or gym. Smile at her. If she smiles back, look for an opportunity to talk to her. Many girls also prefer to meet guys in quiet places.
Steps
We offer two methods that will help answer the question of how people find their soulmate. To complete them, you must go through certain steps.
Method 1: Finding a loved one
To find a truly kindred soul, you need to look for it, and not just wait for a chance meeting. For this:
- Enjoy the state of freedom. Any girl should feel complete and happy even in moments of loneliness in life. To do this, you need to like yourself and learn not to get bored in your own company.
- Become your own ideal. Write on a piece of paper what you want in a partner. Then consider whether this applies to you. If so, develop these character traits, it is much more likely that a relationship will begin when two similar personalities meet.
- Don't get hung up on the image you've created. You may be looking for your athletic blue-eyed blond and not notice nearby a reliable, loving brunette whose soul is like you in a pod.
- Don't become a couple's breaker. If he left his wife for you, then he can leave you too.
- Expand your circle of acquaintances. What if you find him at this party?
- Flirt, but don't become outright vulgar.
- Become a riddle that is fun to solve, don't reveal all the cards at once.
Method 2: How to turn a potential partner into a soulmate
Now that you have already found the “victim” of your love, you need to make him a permanent lover, or even better, a groom. To do this you need:
- Constantly get to know each other, be interested in hobbies and interests, work, social circle, family.
- Listen to your heart and don’t contradict it.
- Accept its shortcomings and look primarily at its advantages.
- Try to become not only lovers, but also friends.
- Go on dates as a foursome. Communication only in private can get boring, besides, it is sometimes useful to look at other couples and see their “tricks” for maintaining relationships.
- Hug and kiss often. Intimacy is not the only way to show your tenderness and passion.
- There is no need to shout “we are breaking up” after every trivial quarrel. One day he might just answer “ok.”
Determination is harmful
It’s surprising, because from childhood we are taught that without difficulty there will be no fish, that we need to set goals for ourselves and go towards them without losing our way. Perhaps this is true for other aspects of life. But in love you need space for magic.
If you continue the pursuit of personal happiness without stopping for a second and without noticing anything around you, you risk missing out on all that is beautiful, including that special person because you quickly scrolled through his photo in a hurry on a dating site because she wasn't very presentable, and you didn't give yourself time to stop and take a closer look.
