How to find your purpose or what is most important in life?

Home / Relationships between a man and a woman / What is important in life

What is the most important thing in life? Have you ever thought about this? In this article, I will tell you about what is important in life for me. What do I want? This doesn't mean it should be like that for you too. No. In no way, because the value of life for each individual is determined independently, I am not imposing anything on anyone, and in no way will I say that it should be this way and no other way, I am saying IMHO!

I have been asked more than once whether I have a dream. What is my dream? What do I want?

And you know, I never answered this question. Until now, of course.

Having asked the vast majority of people, what is your dream, what do you want? the answers will come ala, become a dollar millionaire, I want to travel to BALI, TRAVEL, see the world, I want a cool car, I want my own house, I want to become a singer, I want to rise in my career, get a lot of money, I want to be famous, popular, I want to become a celebrity, I want to be someone else there, I want this third, tenth, twentieth, etc.

All such things = for me personally = are not something special that can be called a “dream”.

For me personally, these are just goals, and any goal, even the most complex one, can be achieved by drawing it up correctly, breaking it down into sub-goals, and taking specific actions to implement it...

Well, in short, individuals who constantly set goals for themselves understand this perfectly well.

The vast majority of people cannot set a goal correctly. Because I want to travel, that’s not the goal. This is the devil knows what. Just like a cool car and seeing the world, your home, and so on.

I recommend reading: “Why set goals”, “How to set goals correctly.” You will understand a lot...

Although, the point is not that most people don’t know how, the majority don’t even want to put something there and are fooling around. That’s why they live forever in their illusory imaginary world, dreaming of someday, next year, Monday, tomorrow, etc. achieving nothing, not striving for anything, etc.

Therefore, for such people, all these cars, iPhones, rags, and other shit are dreams.

If you really think about it, the dream of a modern person depends on material wealth.

This is not surprising, because we live in a material world, where without money you are nobody and there is no way to call you.

So it turns out that the vast majority of people really never have enough money.

This problem makes people value money and attach so much importance to it that it becomes the most important thing in their lives. For this reason, if you ask most people what your dream is, what you want = in most cases, as I already said, it will be connected with money.

Health is our greatest asset

Of the 4 most important things in life, health comes first. In fact, this is something that we fail to appreciate until the day we become seriously ill.

Sometimes we don't realize the importance of health. We neglect exercise and then wonder why it's so hard for us to climb stairs. We neglect to eat healthy and then wonder why we gain weight.

Likewise, we forget to work on our mental health and want to know why we feel stressed in certain situations.

If you are in good health, you can spend more time with your friends, family or partner, and enjoy your hobbies. So take care of your physical and mental health, eat a healthy diet and exercise daily to minimize the risks associated with serious illness and stress.


Maria Ivanova is an experienced housewife. Moreover, her mother also took care of the housework, not attending services for a day. Maria Ivanovna's husband works tirelessly. Well, of course, because he needs to provide not only for his wife and two sons, but also for his retired mother-in-law, who lives with them. Therefore, Sergei Petrovich disappears at work from morning to evening. Also, on even days he attends Chinese language courses, and on odd days he goes to the gym. On weekends, workaholic Petrovich goes alone to his dacha to take a break from the city noise and do his favorite thing - growing fruit crops. Maria Ivanovna's passion is cooking, but she won't give up shopping either.

Let's imagine the most important thing for Maria Ivanovna in the form of a pyramid:

Let us present the spheres of Sergei Petrovich’s life in the form of a diagram:

The most important thing for him is work; it is necessary to provide for his family and realize his desires.

Having compared the components of the life systems of both participants, one might think that the existence of Maria Ivanovna is boring and uninteresting, and the woman herself is extremely unhappy. This may be true, or it may indicate the opposite. Still, the scale of values ​​is a very individual concept.

Time is one of the most important things

Everyone's day consists of 24 hours. However, some people continue to rush and complain about lack of time.

Of course, we all have responsibilities and obligations, and this often includes making decisions. Every time we say yes to someone, we must say no to something else. But the common problem is that we say yes too often. And so the balance begins to break down.

Keep in mind that time is a limited resource and cannot be replenished. Of course, it is impossible to recover lost time. But we can always be more selective with the time available to us.

Therefore, take control of your time, learn to say “no” to things that do not bring any benefit to you and distract you from more important and meaningful moments in life. Use every minute of your life more productively.

  • The Art of Living: How to Manage Time
  • How to stop wasting time

Value system - what is it?

You can define the concept of “value system” without hesitation. These are important facets of human existence, arranged in descending or ascending order.

The formation of the system may be influenced by the following factors:

Heredity and upbringing

A new man was born. Relatives discuss who he is more like. And as they grow older, their opinions change to the opposite. For example, at the age of six, Vanechka was as restless as his father, and by the age of 12 he became calm and balanced, just like his grandfather on his mother’s side. What is the reason? Most will answer this question something like this: “I have grown, become wiser, and learned the most important things.” This reasoning is partly correct, but not everything is so simple.

It has been scientifically proven that a person can inherit not only physical, but moral qualities. Surprisingly, there are often cases when a child has the same habits as his father, even if they have not seen each other since birth. Therefore, if one of the parents was a purposeful careerist, and the second, on the contrary, a passive homebody in the third generation, the likelihood of children displaying similar moral qualities will be equal. If both mother and father led an active lifestyle, thinking about personal growth, then these same qualities will dominate in the value system of their heirs.

Let's look at this factor from the perspective of education. If the atmosphere in the family was positive and the roles of each member were correctly distributed (the father is the breadwinner, the mother is the keeper of the hearth, regardless of whether she works or not), then it is this attitude that the grown child will try to transfer to his family. No wonder it is believed that children repeat the program of their parents. And this is by no means mysticism, but a banal projection of the system, passed on from generation to generation.

Of course, it cannot be said that this rule works with a 100% guarantee. Many people successfully break all patterns. Moreover, in modern society this is much easier to do than a couple of hundred years ago.

It turns out that both heredity and upbringing equally influence the formation of a scale of values.

Place of residence

Country, region, city and even area of ​​residence also influence a person’s worldview. If in a certain area great importance is placed on maintaining traditions and people honor the memory of their ancestors, show genuine respect for elders and put family above all other factors, then the likelihood of dissent there is close to zero. This example is especially relevant for small settlements where clan distribution takes place.

Social circle and personal development

Up to a certain point, the family has a large influence on the formation of a person’s personality. After entering society, the significance of the influence of relatives gradually decreases, but the rules of imitation and denial begin to operate, under the influence of which the formation of beliefs and the formation of personality occurs.

At the initial stage of a child’s interaction with other people outside the family, it is the parents who must provide him with support and guide him in the right direction, but at the same time not deprive him of the opportunity to choose and make decisions. A huge mistake parents make is overprotection of their child and long-term protection from all kinds of conflicts and difficult situations. The faster children gain experience of communication, the more holistically their scale of values ​​is formed.

Transitional or critical moments

Almost every person has ups and downs. And, despite the fact that some instantly become despondent, while others prefer to fight, every force majeure event leaves its mark on the future.

The reshuffling of values ​​in the system can be influenced by both positive and negative events. Thus, the birth of a child can turn a zealous careerist who cannot imagine herself without work into a caring mother who devotes all her time to her beloved child. Or, on the contrary, disappointment in the love sphere can completely discourage the desire to start a family in favor of business, travel and other joys.

It is known that extroverts are more susceptible to influence than introverts (read: characteristics of extroverts and introverts). Therefore, the scale of values ​​of the latter is more stable, but less meaningful. So, if an introvert, in order to feel happy or, as is often said in modern society, to be in harmony with himself, needs to achieve success in three or four areas, then the extrovert’s list will hardly be limited to a dozen goals and areas of development.

The system can be visually represented in two ways:

  1. In the form of a pyramid.
  2. In the form of a diagram.

To clearly illustrate each option, we will give a specific example and define the leading components of the system.

The purpose of life

One of the most important things in life is to discover the meaning and true purpose of your life. To live a busy life, you need to have purpose and purpose. Find out what you want to do in life and follow your passion.

Maybe you want to be a better parent. Maybe you want to be someone influential or someone who does something to change the world. The most important thing is that you find your purpose and give it your all.

As you've already seen, the four things that should matter most in life—health, time, love, and life's purpose—are intangible things. However, they are necessary to be a happy person and enjoy the world around you.

  • 6 surefire ways to get closer to your true purpose in life

Pros and cons of understanding what is most important in our lives?

Whatever one may say, a clear understanding of why you live is based on the GPS principle. You follow a plan of sorts. This means you are calm, peaceful and happy. But there is another side to the issue...

No fuss. When there is a specific understanding of your intermediate and main goals, there will be no panic. You go through life without the question “Why am I living?”, because you have already found the answer to it. You know this will end. It's like having a birthday when you're 6-10 years old. Guests come, give gifts, mom prepares goodies and you are happy. But then the guests leave. And you're sad. All birthdays in childhood (I’m talking about myself personally) follow the same scenario. And then, even at the beginning of the holiday, you begin to feel sad - it will end. It's the same with life. Only even more sad.
Minimizing age-related crises. Psychologists say that they are inevitable. Maybe. In any case, you can make sure that they are not so large-scale. After all, you must admit, the awareness that you have achieved something and are planning to achieve something in the future will very well pass for a “life preserver” in a “sea” of crises. Your friends are offended. Having realized what is really important, you begin to neglect some unimportant actions, in your opinion. Let's say, going to a disco. But your environment may not be so “enlightened”, and will be offended every time. Advice: Never compromise on your priorities. Go to that disco only if you see the meaning in it specifically for yourself.
It feels like it's someone else's life. Life without a goal is not life. At least for me. Living “automatically”, you get the feeling that you are in someone’s body. You don't feel happy, it's like you're in a vacuum. Having found his goal, a person insures himself against this terrible feeling. Lack of time. When you know what you want, life seems to go by at double speed. There is a fear of how to manage everything. Along with it is vanity, panic, irritability. The best way to get rid of this emotional “bouquet” is to track your own thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself questions: “Why am I worried?”, “What makes me nervous?”, “What would help me calm down now?”

1) The main fears of modern man

You don’t have to immediately define your whole life, the main thing is to understand what you definitely don’t want.

A huge number of people think about the meaning of life. Sometimes they never find it. But at the same time they clearly know what they would not want in life. This, by the way, is also not bad.

  1. Give up your dreams.

    For many, being true to your dream is the most important thing. Losing yourself, listening to others, but not your inner voice, giving up your favorite work is like death.

  2. Work all your life without being with your family.

    Unfortunately, many people understand the importance of loved ones only when they are about to be separated from them. It's good when this separation doesn't last long. But what if it never ends?

  3. Don't tell your loved ones about your feelings.

    Sometimes we are embarrassed to openly tell our family how much we love them. Either the situation is not the same, or the mood is not the same. At such moments, I remember the lines from Kochetkov’s poem “... and every time say goodbye for a century when you leave for a moment.”

  4. Don't enjoy life.

    For many, this is simply a disaster. Realize that your days are numbered, and you haven’t even enjoyed your life.

2) How to determine the purpose of your life?

Let's start with what you definitely shouldn't do in search of a goal. Sit in one's hands. “Illumination” will not come down to you from heaven, so it is very stupid to wait for it. To understand what is most important in life, you need to follow simple but effective advice.

How to find a purpose in life and not waste time on nonsense: 7 tips

1. What is your hobby?You know this will end. It's like having a birthday when you're 6-10 years old. Guests come, give gifts, mom prepares goodies and you are happy. But then the guests leave. And you're sad. All birthdays in childhood (I’m talking about myself personally) follow the same scenario. And then, even at the beginning of the holiday, you begin to feel sad - it will end. It's the same with life. Only even more sad.
2. What terrifies you?What is meant here is not spiders and cockroaches, but something abstract. Let's say, moving away from parents, changing occupation.
3. What would you do if you had an infinite amount of money?No matter how sad it may be, most people do things they don't like just to earn a living. Meanwhile, life passes quickly. To get closer to understanding your purpose, just think about what would you do if you were rich?

3) What is important to most people?

When searching for your goal, rely only on your own life experience.

There are a huge number of goals that people consider important in their lives. According to the survey, the most popular priorities are family values, career growth, knowledge and development of one’s own skills and qualities.

Family★★★★★ (65% of 100%)Satisfied with their life 85% out of 100%
Career and income★★★ (50% of 100%)
Self improvement★★ (35% of 100%)

Family, career and self-improvement are considered the most popular goals in life. The sociological survey also included the goals “Children,” “Pleasure,” and “Benefit to Society.” However, a much smaller number of people named them as the main ones. 85% of respondents claim that they have a goal and are absolutely satisfied with their lives.

Please note: in order to decide what is most important in your life, you should never rely on the opinion of the majority. Focus solely on your worldview, upbringing, life experience. Typically, it takes months, and sometimes years, to define your main goal (mission, if you will).

In this video you will find some useful tips to help you find the meaning of life. How to distinguish insignificant goals from truly important ones?

Live here and now

Many of us do not live for today, especially since sometimes circumstances are not the best, but we dream about what will happen to them in the future. And thus they do not notice or appreciate many of the joys that befall them now. Meanwhile, according to Barry Davenport, wise from life experience, the future is an illusion, and the real reality is only here and now. Whatever it is, do not turn away from it, do not turn into a somnambulist. Learn to live in the present moment, overcome difficulties, build your well-being, achieve goals, catch the bird of happiness by the tail, because this is your unique life - complex, unique, the only one. And then the future will turn out to be its best side for you.


What we strive for determines everything we do and affects our work, hobbies, relationships with people and our entire approach to life.
This desire permeates everything we do. It fills our lives with meaning and helps us move on when we face difficulties. If you're confused and can't figure out what you really want from life, ask yourself:

  • What do I want to achieve?
  • What inspires me?
  • What makes me get up in the morning?
  • What would I like to see more of in my life?
  • What would I like to see less of in my life?

The answers to these questions will help you understand what matters most to you. Let them be your guiding light on your path. Answer them again from time to time to check if anything has changed.

Ability to think

Human nature is such that he does not have enormous strength, great speed or any natural tools for protection, however, the greatest gift of nature can be considered the most complex interweaving of nerve endings and various fibers - this is our brain. He is capable of:

  1. Towards learning;
  2. Towards thinking;
  3. Thanks to it, we are able to feel different emotions;
  4. Experience different feelings towards others.

Thanks to mental activity, a person is able to:

  • Conquer the environment;
  • Protect yourself from the enemy;
  • Create more favorable living conditions for yourself;
  • Evaluate your behavior and much more.

The gift of nature must be developed. Scientists have proven that we use only 20 percent of our brain. This means there is still a lot of potential hidden within us.

The main qualities of a person

In addition to physiological differences, man as a rational being is distinguished by a number of qualities that are unique to him :

  • Politeness and sociability allow a person to exist in society and at the same time feel comfortable;
  • A kind attitude towards people and the world around us earns respect from other people;
  • Honesty and integrity are most valued in a person . It is only pleasant to deal with people with such qualities. They, as a rule, develop warm and friendly relationships in teams, and also create strong families;
  • Modesty makes a reasonable person even more respectable;
  • Courage gives him the opportunity not to stand still and constantly improve;
  • Humanity allows you to be loyal to the diversity of the world around you and accept it as it is.

These qualities allow a modern person to live with dignity in a civilized society, develop, climb the career ladder, earn authority among others, be calm and confident in himself and his actions.

How to survive the loss of meaning and regain harmony

Often a person goes through a period when it seems that everything is in vain and there is no point in further existence. The cause of this condition can be either a tragedy that has occurred or simple fatigue. Surprisingly, it can be easier to get out of a difficult situation that occurred under the influence of external factors than in the case of internal devastation.

You can pull a person out of the “moral hole” that arose as a result of loss by filling life with a different meaning. A simple example of this statement would be the following situation:

The woman's only child died. It seems to her that everything has lost its significance. This woman can be pulled out of such a state either by herself or by someone else who needs her help and support. Often mothers who have lost children decide very quickly to have a baby. Many couples, after a tragedy has occurred in the family, give birth to or adopt children at the age of 45-55.

It is more difficult to get out of depression, since a person drives himself into a corner with his own hands and, in response to offers of help, hides even more stubbornly into his shell. The most important thing is that you should never leave such a person alone. Many people in difficult situations go crazy or take their own lives.

If you force a person to put on a smile every morning for at least a few seconds, after a while the facial muscles will begin to “smile” on their own as soon as he opens his eyes.

Therefore, in order to quickly cope with despondency, you need to carry out a set of daily activities in a disciplined manner. The required minimum might look like this:

  1. Climb.
  2. Smile.
  3. Charger.
  4. Morning shower.
  5. Light breakfast.

By performing these manipulations daily, the body will tune in not only to conserve energy, but also to increase it.

Love and relationships

When asked what is most important in life, many will confidently answer – love. This feeling inspires, gives a feeling of joy, warmth and comfort. Those who do not experience love often suffer from various complexes and psychological problems.

But love is in everything. Love yourself first, not with selfish love, but simply accept yourself as you are. And you will notice that this wonderful feeling will begin to fill your life.

Many people note that children and family are the most important things in a person’s life. And they are right in their own way.

The support of loved ones, the feeling that someone needs you, the joy that a loved one is doing well are incomparable sensations that give a person a feeling of inner comfort. But what if many families break up due to conflict situations? Then this life value can only bring pain and disappointment? Or maybe it's just a life lesson? Everyone decides for themselves. After all, everything depends only on the person himself, on his perception of the situation.

The ancient sages taught: “Treat others the way you would like them to treat you.” A lonely person is almost never happy. You can be lonely even when you are among people. Following the ancient recommendation can protect any person from the oppressive feeling of loneliness and dissatisfaction associated with communicating with other people.

( 2 ratings, average 5 out of 5 )
Did you like the article? Share with friends:
For any suggestions regarding the site: [email protected]
Для любых предложений по сайту: [email protected]