Sociability - what it is, how to develop sociability, books and trainings

Hello, my dear readers! Today I want to discuss with you one interesting, important and relevant topic for many. I will try to answer the question: is it possible to develop sociability and how to do this?

It would seem that what could be more natural than communicating with other people?

Man is a social being; he has a natural desire to interact with his own kind.

But for many people, getting into contact with someone and maintaining it is a real challenge. And here the main question arises: can it be solved? And most importantly, how?

I’ll answer right away: communication skill is a skill like any other. And it can be developed in the same way as other skills. There would be a desire.

What is sociability

Sociability is an important quality in order to quickly make friends with a new team and be accepted in society. Without sociability, it is difficult to negotiate and convince people of anything.

The ability to establish contact with any person and join any company. You can talk to a sociable person on any topic and he will not support you, so he easily manages to win people over.

To be sociable means to be someone who is interesting to others, knows how to present information correctly and has an interesting way of communicating.

A sociable person knows the true impact of words, his diction is well developed and his speech and voice are correct. A sociable person is a versatile person, he is interested in literally everything.

Verbal and non-verbal communication

Verbal communication is built on the basis of speech and dialogues. Instructions for acquiring verbal communication skills:

Start with general topics, talk about what you saw. If you don't want to talk about the weather, give it a compliment.
During the conversation, avoid obvious phrases. Go to specific events and facts. Discuss an interesting book or movie. Ask questions that require detailed answers. Don't be too frank.
Be the first to communicate with strangers on public transport, in a store, in the yard with your neighbors, even if you don’t feel like it. Repeat this exercise 2 times daily.

Nonverbal interaction involves transmitting information without words. In this case, facial expressions, gestures, postures are used, creating images and pantomimes.

To master nonverbal communication skills, follow the recommendations:

Critically evaluate your gait, posture, identify problems. If you look away, don’t expect a trusting relationship from your interlocutor. Watch the intonation of the spoken words.
Involve a friend, ask to watch you from the side. Keep your back straight while walking. Do not swing your arms with a large amplitude and do not press them to your body. Learn to smile while talking and look into your eyes.
Training in front of a mirror helps to gesticulate correctly and “hold” your face.

To learn to communicate nonverbally, when speaking, the entire range of motor skills is memorized. Looks, tone of voice, facial expressions are compared with emotions and conclusions are drawn. After mastering the language of nonverbal communication, the desire to manipulate you will fail.

Types of people:

Dominant type. This type of interlocutor always tries to take over the conversation, to take over the conversation.
Mobile type. Such a person does everything quickly: he thinks quickly, speaks a lot and immediately. He easily fits into any company and can talk about anything.
The stubborn type. This type is serious, firm in his decisions and thoughts. He speaks clearly and logically. Usually he doesn’t join the company well, but as soon as he does, he immediately forms his position.
Passive type. Such a person does not want to express his opinion, he is shy and quiet.

Rules for pleasant and productive communication

To become an interesting conversationalist, apply the rules of conflict-free healthy communication in your dialogue:

Don't be distracted by other things. The person opposite you is in charge. Accept it with all its shortcomings, pay maximum attention.
Be flexible. To understand each other, adapt to the manner of conversation and tone of voice.
Try to understand. Be on the same wavelength, delve into the problems. Adjust the conversation a little later. Communicate in a friendly manner, do not use swear words.
Do not base your speech on accusations; eliminate parasitic words from your vocabulary. Don’t say annoying “always” and “never”. Communicate on specific topics, avoid vague phrases.
Make jokes without getting personal.

Lastly, advice that is not asked for is inappropriate. People don’t like being lectured and mistakes pointed out. If the interlocutor mispronounced a word, pretend that you didn’t notice the mistake.

Examples of sociability in life

Pass interviews. Applying for a new job is one thing. It's completely different to make the right impression on the people working there. Tightness and shyness do not help with this. Being sociable will help you win over the HR department and management. In addition, it has been proven that smiling people are more often hired than closed ones.
There are many examples of correct communication in the literature. Sometimes, because of their words, the main characters either lose something, or, conversely, find what they came for and become happy. Thus, through their example, the reader understands that the power of words solves many problems. For example, in A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Dubrovsky” we observe a quarrel between Troekurov and Dubrovsky. The cause of the conflict between friends was Troekurov's servant. Dubrovsky could not bear the insult, and demanded that the guilty huntsman be handed over to him for trial. Troekurov refused, since he can only punish his servants himself. Neither Troekurov nor Dubrovsky could come to a compromise because of pride and pride. Because of this quarrel, real enmity began. This is an example of how to have a conversation and compromise correctly, otherwise an unsuccessful conversation can lead to serious consequences.

Benefits of communication skills

A person who communicates easily in any company compares favorably with the silent ones sitting in the corner. Confidence, freedom and charm make the joker attractive to people of the opposite sex. He controls the situation, makes acquaintances easily, makes new friends and is respected.

A sociable person does not extract smart words from his memory, does not think about his gestures and facial expressions. Everything happens naturally, effortlessly. It is pleasant to talk with him on various topics; people ask him for advice, hoping for understanding and confidentiality.

People who have difficulty communicating try to be quiet and inconspicuous at corporate events and parties. They do not arouse interest among friends. Forced to spend time in splendid isolation.

Silent people have difficulty finding employment because they are unable to effectively convey information about their strengths. Even professionalism does not help, as difficulties arise in communicating with the team, which interferes with interaction in the team.

A person who knows how and loves to communicate is more likely to achieve his goals:

enters into a marriage;
is realized in the profession;
participates in the social life of society;
comes to inner harmony, easily making up for the lack of communication.

Employers choose talkative, goal-oriented people from applicants for positions. Communication skills are needed to maintain a healthy environment in the workplace, establish connections with partners, clients, and successful negotiations.

How to develop communication skills

Sociable people quickly find solutions to problems in everyday life and at work. They clearly formulate and convey to management the aspirations of the team, earning the gratitude of their colleagues.

How and in what way is sociability manifested?

Professional activity. A sociable person will be hired faster for a vacancy, because he will be able to win over the employer.
Ability to speak. A sociable person will not be afraid of people, and will calmly convey his message anywhere: be it on stage, at a meeting, or on the street with a friend.
Psychological health. Most often, psychological trauma occurs due to isolation and fear of speaking. Even a simple grievance can lead to serious problems if it is not discussed with someone.
Good manners. Not every person knows how to behave correctly in society. Sociability teaches you to choose the right words, and teaches you to understand that you need to speak differently in different places.
Conversation. Conducting a conversation means, first of all, listening to your interlocutor. Sociable people know how to listen and hear. They know how to read “between the lines”, and I understand exactly what idea they want to convey to them.

Definition and signs of sociability

CONTENT:

Among strangers, a person often withdraws. He thinks about how to choose the right words, express his thoughts clearly, so as not to leave a negative impression on the interlocutor. It is much easier to conduct a dialogue with old acquaintances who understand perfectly. But this is not enough for communication skills.

Communicabilis translated from Latin means amenable to communication. People with this property are able to contact others in different situations and maintain friendly or business relationships.

Signs of a sociable person:

open to others, initiates dialogue with strangers;
confidently expresses his point of view;
inspires trust, is flexible, makes compromises;
ready for public speaking;
quickly adapts to unfamiliar surroundings;
pursues a specific goal from communication;
knows how to manipulate the interlocutor, changing the topic, directing the conversation in the right direction;
easy to train, devotes time to personal growth;
charming;
thinks broadly, arouses interest among people of different age groups;
communicates in bright, figurative language;
doesn't talk too much, knows how to listen.

To become interesting to others, you need to have a sense of humor, give positive energy, and lift your spirits.

Origins

In order to solve a problem, it is not enough to know what it is. We still need to understand where its source is.

We all come from childhood. Indeed, most of what makes up a human personality is instilled into it at an early age. If an adult is unsociable, then perhaps he was once an equally unsociable child. There can be many reasons.

A child usually has fewer opportunities to develop his communication skills if he is the only child in the family. This does not mean at all that a child who has no brothers and sisters will necessarily grow up gloomy and unsociable. But if they are, it will be much easier for him to join the team.
It happens that there are several children in a family, but one constantly remains in the shadow of the other. He is constantly compared, and most often - not in his favor. Parents want to encourage their child to develop. But in fact, in this way they instill in him an inferiority complex. And he grows up to be an insecure person who feels uncomfortable in the company of other, more successful (in his opinion) people.
It happens that a child has anxious parents who look after him and protect him from everything, including from other children. And he also has almost no opportunity to communicate normally with his peers. And it is clear that he will not have this ability at a high level.

In short, there are many ways for a child to become stressed.

Role-playing games - daughters and mothers, a hospital, a store, etc. can help him open up and develop his communication skills. The child tries on different roles, imitates adults, and most importantly, does it in the company, and this gives him pleasure .

Sign up for an acting class

This is a very important point; it will be very difficult to develop sociability without fulfilling it. Taking up acting will give you a number of benefits.

You will make many interesting acquaintances in the theater. You will be able to establish strong friendships with some of them – classes on such courses bring people very close together.
Thanks to the theater, you will stop being shy and gain confidence. I hope you understand how important this is.
You will have the chance to develop your sociability in practice. There will be many meetings, new people, unusual situations. You simply physically cannot keep silent.
You will be taught to speak beautifully, demonstrate your best qualities and show your feelings. Your facial expressions will be richer and more expressive. Friends and acquaintances will see a different side of you, you will become more attractive and interesting to communicate with.
In the theater you will no longer be afraid of improvisation, you will learn to surprise and captivate from the first minutes of conversation. Your words and actions will have the spontaneity that is so necessary for interacting with people.

Acting courses provide many exercises to remove tensions and eliminate complexes. In a few months you simply won’t recognize yourself.

Work on your eloquence and diction

You can successfully highlight your strengths only in one case - if the interlocutor wants to listen to you. To develop sociability and eloquence, start with diction. Remember how Demosthenes worked on his oratorical abilities.

But he could have withdrawn into himself and never become a political figure who went down in history. The future speaker had plenty of shortcomings - he lisped and stuttered.

To develop clear pronunciation, Demosthenes put pebbles in his mouth and tried to make his speech understandable and clear even with such interference. To develop the depth and power of his voice, the great orator shouted his speeches in front of a stormy sea.

And these exercises you have to do:

Learn a few tongue twisters, and then try to pronounce them with nuts in your mouth.
To develop sociability, do the exercise “What I see is what I say” more often. Try to describe every thing that surrounds you for at least a few minutes. Imagine that an invisible interlocutor is listening to you, and you need to interest him. Include anecdotes, incidents from life, and come up with funny stories in the description of objects.
Work on your voice. Record your speech on a voice recorder and identify any shortcomings. Sing and recite poems more often. And try to sing and read in different voices. Don't forget to change your intonation.

A pleasant voice and clear diction make communication easier and more comfortable. Even the most polite interlocutor will not be able to listen to inarticulate muttering for a long time - it will strain the ears and will push people away from you.

Why develop your ability to communicate?

Without the ability to communicate, it is impossible to establish social connections. How to build a career if it is difficult for a person to ask for a favor, insist on his own, promote his project or express his opinion in front of many people? Of course, you can choose a field of activity where social contacts are kept to a minimum, but this ultimately leads to loneliness and a lack of useful connections and friends.

Most of us still have a need for contact with other people. We love to get together in groups, easily and naturally tell each other stories from life, exchange views, and start relationships with the opposite sex. If it is difficult for a person to start a conversation, then he does not participate in the general conversation, and as a result, people simply stop noticing him.

The inability to establish contact often leads to problems with the opposite sex. Who do you think a guy will approach more willingly: a bright and casually talking girl or one who sits quietly in the corner and is afraid to take part in the conversation again. The answer is clear.

People are more willing to respect those who are easy to contact, have many social connections, and talk easily and confidently. Respect is also associated with the ability to achieve one’s own goal and defend one’s point of view, and for this one must be able to speak and give arguments. A quiet, hesitant voice can only cause sympathy or misunderstanding.