How to get rid of love for a man: advice for girls

Love is a wonderful feeling if it is mutual and selfless. But often instead of love comes falling in love, which does not allow you to live in peace and prevents you from meeting true love. How to get rid of falling in love, from this obsessive unnecessary state?

My friend’s son dropped out of a prestigious university because of his destructive passion for a girl who did not pay any attention to him. How much effort and labor was put into studying and everything went to waste: he was unable to recover at the university. How to get rid of this obsession, how not to ruin your life with unnecessary connections? I want to tell you about this in this article.

The difference between infatuation and love

Not everyone is able to determine the line between a passing hobby and a serious feeling. Moreover, even scientists and psychologists who seriously studied this issue could not come to a common conclusion. However, a number of characteristics can be identified to determine the difference between infatuation and love.

What are the dangers of being in unhappy love?

Many people are not familiar with the feeling of unrequited love or destructive dependence on another person, but still, most of us have felt unrequited ourselves. Faced with such a situation, a person’s thoughts are occupied only with the object of feelings, and the heart is filled with serious passion. But the one to whom all this storm is directed does not pay any attention or openly says that there will be no reciprocity.

How to get rid of the feeling of falling in love? In this state of affairs, it is definitely necessary to suppress love, because love means building happiness with a loved one, and not endless torment.

A person who is unrequitedly in love lives in a world of his own fantasies. Consuming the mind with illusions prevents you from living fully and thinking rationally. Instead of suppressing a feeling that is impossible to share with the object through sighing, a person fantasizes more and more. Dependence on unrequited love does not allow the possibility of a new, real, mutual feeling to enter life. While one could attract happy love to oneself, a person completely plunges into an illusory world and sometimes spends entire years on meaningless dreams.

After a long time of waiting, a miracle does not happen. What starts next? Apathy, depression and deep depression. A person accumulates resentment within himself, and the feeling of emptiness does not leave him. He is sure that no one needs him. Any attempts by relatives and friends to somehow distract and entertain an unrequited lover are met with irritation and aggression. In this state, you can “chop a lot of wood” and commit actions that a person will greatly regret later. But the suffering doesn't end there. A person, instead of suppressing the feeling of falling in love, buries himself more and more in thoughts about the object of his desire and continues to build “castles in the air.”

Do you need to get rid of being in love?

Before you figure out how to get rid of being in love, you need to understand whether it’s worth doing. Unfortunately, this wonderful feeling does not always benefit a person. It is worth fighting it in the following cases:

• if the object of your adoration does not reciprocate your feelings;
• if falling in love negatively affects your mental and physical state;
• if you are driven by pathological jealousy;
• if you experience manic attachment to a person;
• if romantic feelings interfere with your studies or career growth.

Unfortunately, not every girl or young man in love can cope with the problem on his own. Or rather, they will in every possible way deny its existence. It is friends and family who can notice deviations in time.

How is love different from addiction?

Two phrases:

• I love you, and it doesn’t matter who or what makes you happy, as long as you are happy.

• I love you and I can't live without you.

Is the difference noticeable? This is exactly how love differs from addiction.

Experts call a condition not associated with love a neurosis aggravated by self-hypnosis. And it is mainly women who suffer from it.

How to correctly identify a painful relationship and get out of it in time, read our article here.

Treatment methods for falling in love

If you are looking for a cure for love, try taking the advice of psychologists. So, the most popular methods are:

• Prevention will help you prevent an unwanted condition. If you think that now is not the time for love, try to fight all its manifestations: do not read novels, do not watch tearful TV series, do not listen to sad music, and most importantly, limit communication with the opposite sex.
• Logical comprehension implies that you need to look at the current situation from the outside. Try to evaluate all the pros and cons of your condition.
• In accordance with the Lope de Vega method, it is recommended to critically evaluate the object of your adoration. It is quite possible that there will be much more negative qualities in him than positive ones.
• The extrapolation method allows you to look into the future. Imagine how your relationship will develop in a week, month, year. If you don’t see positive things in the future, get rid of your crush immediately.
• To sort your thoughts into categories, lead the right lifestyle. You must have duties, responsibilities, hobbies. It is quite possible that there will no longer be room in your head for romantic fantasies.
• A frank conversation with a friend, relative or psychologist is the best cure for love. Having told your story in detail, you will most likely come to the conclusion that the feeling is to your detriment.

How to calm your emotions

The emotional sphere plays a leading role in romantic relationships, so it is necessary to work with it separately.

Psychologists advise girls to switch attention from the object of desire to their own figure and begin to fight with it, or rather, with its shortcomings. This activity absorbs thoughts and time so much that there is simply no energy left to fall in love, and the desire to meet will quickly disappear.

Visiting a sports section or fitness club also takes time and also increases self-esteem. Girls with high self-esteem will not humiliate themselves and seek unrequited love.

Go shopping, look for boutiques that are running promotions. Shopping takes energy and time; there will be no time left for suffering over the object of desire. If you don't have enough money for purchases, you can take out a loan.

Sometimes the technique of burning out emotions helps. To do this, you need to stay alone and work yourself up with all your might with memories of your loved one, bring yourself to the point of hysterics. It may take a few days for the emotions to burn out. It is not necessary to do this in front of witnesses, it is better without prying eyes.

What does Freud advise?

Sigmund Freud became famous for his bold theory that all human actions are driven solely by sexual instinct. However, it is precisely because of this position that many do not take his recommendations seriously. But it’s still worth listening to his advice on how to get rid of falling in love.

Freud paid special attention to such a feature of the psyche as sublimation. Falling in love gives a person energy. If this feeling for one reason or another is undesirable for you, try transforming it into another form. Direct this energy, for example, into art, sports, education and other areas. It is quite possible that you will be able to achieve amazing results.

No. 10. Travel

It is not necessary to buy expensive trips to exotic islands; a weekend tour or just an outing into nature is enough. You can go to the nearest forest or pond, ride a bike outside the city, and even go fishing. You can even do this alone; this approach will allow you to better understand your own feelings and understand your life.

By following these tips, you can forget the guy quickly enough and never think about him.

More tips on the topic in the video:

The best medicine is change

As you know, in order to cope with a particular state of mind, you need to change external circumstances. So, a girl in love can get rid of an obsessive feeling by resorting to the following measures:

• a radical change in image (hairstyle, wardrobe, etc.);
• finding new hobbies (or you can return to hobbies that occupied you as a child);
• new interesting acquaintances (possibly with the prospect of a romantic relationship);
• change of scenery (if you don’t have the opportunity to travel, try to explore your city in search of new routes and places to walk);
• making changes in everyday life (for example, you can rearrange furniture or learn how to cook new dishes).

No. 8. Light flirting

It can become a lifeline, especially if the previous relationship has recently “withered.” Therefore, if one of the men shows interest, you should not push away the potential suitor. You can safely start new dialogues and even go on dates if among your new acquaintances there is someone you like. You should not rush to plunge headlong into a new relationship, because there is a risk of “stepping on the same rake.” It is best to have light affairs in order to forget about unhappy love as quickly as possible. When feelings fade away, it is worth putting the relationship into perspective.

You can’t do without the help of loved ones

If you are looking for ways to get rid of falling in love, enlist the support of family and friends. The fact is that it is very difficult to cope with heartfelt feelings alone. Sometimes the problem is so acute that only with the help of those around it becomes possible to solve it. That is why you should not be shy to ask for help.

The best option is a sincere conversation. With a friend, relative, work colleague - it doesn’t matter. The main thing is to openly talk about all your experiences. You will be surprised, but it will immediately become easier. In addition, it is quite possible that your interlocutor has previously been in a similar situation. It is possible that by the end of the conversation you will laugh together at a problem that seemed insoluble just a couple of hours ago.

If feelings are unrequited

In a situation with unrequited love, two options are possible:

• there was a relationship, but the man fell out of love;
• the object of love has no idea about anything.

When the first option occurs, the worst thing is to try to fix something in order to return the man’s feelings. A woman can call him, write messages, throw hysterics, however, she must understand that the man needs to be let go, you won’t be nice by force. And such behavior can only anger a person or arouse in him a feeling of pity, but not love. Moreover, over time it will still develop into irritation and hostility. Therefore, it is important to perceive lost love as an event from the past.

1. To get rid of the feeling of love that is not answered, you need to think in the opposite direction. It's time to realize that this person doesn't owe you anything. Try to convince yourself that you do not need this person, but you cannot think of him as some kind of evil, provoking yourself to feelings of hatred. You need indifference to appear.
2. Think about what you have at the moment, your head is filled with thoughts about a man whose feelings will never be mutual. If, when he sees you, he behaves decently in public, it is not a fact that in your absence he will not be angry, will not be irritated by your obsession, and may even laugh at your feelings.
3. Try to consider the object of your love from the outside. Surely, like many people, he has shortcomings and more than one. There is no need to idealize him. Concentrate on the negative qualities of your loved one, realize that he is an ordinary person. Set yourself up to understand that this man is not your ideal, not your soulmate.
4. Imagine that your destinies are intertwined, you are together. Months and years of marriage pass and then he begins to criticize you, cheat on you, raise his hand, scream, hate your mother, drink a lot. Were you able to forgive this person for such behavior? If it seems like “yes,” then you have serious problems, you are ready to endure pain, which means that mental disorders or too low self-esteem are not excluded. It is also important to think about whether your chosen one can get along with your character and needs. For example, you love to buy beautiful dresses in a boutique, but a man will start to get greedy and refuse such a purchase. Or you are too jealous, and the gentleman is very attractive and is in great demand among girls, and will start flirting with them. Can you survive this?
5. Mentally remove this person from your life, try not to think about him. One can imagine that he moved to another city, for a long time or forever. Remember how good it was when you did not yet know about the existence of this man.
6. Allow yourself to do what you have long wanted to do, but never had the opportunity.
7. Start flirting with other men just to determine your attractiveness.
8. Find a hobby and get carried away with it. This way you can devote all your free time to your favorite activity.
9. Find the strength in yourself for auto-training. When your thoughts circle around your beloved man again, immediately imagine all his negative qualities.
10. Change yourself. These changes do not have to be drastic, however, it is important that when you look in the mirror, you see a new person in it. This could be changes in clothes, hairstyle, new makeup. The main thing is to have a smile on your face.

Sometimes a woman is unable to cope with her feelings. The pain of unrequited love becomes stronger. In such a situation, it may seem that the only way out is to pack your things and leave the city where your loved one lives. But this is already an extreme measure and it is better not to go to it. And not always successful. The most correct action is to contact a psychotherapist. The specialist will explain how to cut a man out of your life, believe in your attractiveness and in your future with another person.

Confession

How to get rid of obsessive love? Sometimes shock therapy is needed. If your lover is not yet aware of your feelings, then why not say them directly? Of course, this is not easy, but there will be certainty in your life. There are not many options for the development of events:

• he (or she) will reject your feelings, which, of course, will be a great disappointment, but will help you free yourself;
• It may well turn out that the object of your affection, just like you, is in love, but is embarrassed to admit it (in this case, you will have a chance to build a strong relationship with the prospect of further development).

How to get rid of love addiction?

1) Try to switch from caring about the “object of addiction” and relationships with him to caring about yourself. By all means, put yourself first.

2) Determine what needs you are trying to satisfy in your relationship with the object of addiction. And what needs did this person satisfy at the beginning of the relationship, when you felt happy?

Somehow he hinted to you at the beginning of the relationship that your significant needs would be met. So – we need to identify what these needs are? What did he give you at the beginning of the relationship and then stopped giving you?

3) Try to separate these needs from the “object of dependence”. Accept the idea that other people, including yourself, can do this for you. Learn to satisfy these needs, accept from others and yourself, and internalize when they give it to you.

4) Think about what a relationship with this person really gives you? Not what do you hope to get from it, but what do you actually get? For example, the feeling that I am special, that I can be loved, the opportunity to take care of someone, etc.

Find another way to get it. That is, without this person.

5) Write a list of everything that does not suit you about the object of dependence and in your relationship with him. Write as much “bad” as possible that is why you decided to leave the relationship with him.

6) Stop “using” your drug. That is, completely stop all contact with the person on whom you are dependent.

Including views of his pages on social networks, correspondence, conversations and thoughts about him, meetings for sex, etc. Get rid of all the things that strongly remind you of “him.” Block him wherever possible so that he cannot “show up” and give you hope again.

In the event of a “withdrawal”, when it seems to you that there is still a chance for your relationship, or when you feel physically ill without him, or if you meet him by chance, or if he writes to you or in a dream, re-read the list of those “bad” things, why did you decide to end your relationship with him?

conclusions

How to get rid of being in love? At first glance, this question may seem stupid and frivolous, because everyone goes through romantic experiences. However, it is worth taking into account the individual psychological characteristics of each person. Sometimes falling in love not only interferes with your studies and work, but can also lead to serious psychological problems and even suicide attempts, which should never be allowed to happen. That is why modern psychology pays such close attention to this issue.