Frequent psychological problem: mental pain. How to get rid of mental pain Advice from a psychologist

Why does mental pain occur? How to get rid of mental pain? What to do if your soul hurts? Mental illness, what is it? Our specialists will be able to help a person cope with such a situation without causing harm. This deep pain is associated with a disorder of higher nervous activity and it is not treated in conventional ways, which can only dull it or temporarily mask it. This will require both a lot of medical experience and quite a bit of your own life experience. Not all doctors can understand a person’s true experiences if they have not been in such situations themselves. Every person experiences mental pain, but at different times and, unfortunately, not everyone can cope with it on their own.

We know what mental pain is and can help you cope with it, continue to live in a new, more harmonious world of your inner experiences.

If a person feels mental pain for more than 15-20 days or these sensations are repeated with any frequency, then this indicates the formation or presence of a disease of the nervous system and to get rid of mental pain, it is necessary to consult a competent and conscientious psychotherapist.

Brain Clinic specialists will always be able to provide you or your loved ones with the necessary and sufficient medical care to relieve mental pain and restore the nervous system, and restore quality of life.

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What does it represent?

It can be acute, chronic, aching and burning. In general, like the physical one, which also arises as a result of the destruction of the boundaries between the environment and the organism itself.

That is, to experience unpleasant sensations on a physical level, it is enough to crash into a wall, hit your little finger on the corner of a table, or miscalculate your strength when peeling potatoes and get hurt with a knife.

With mental pain, things are almost the same, only the cause is the loss of something significant and familiar.

The injury is not visible at first glance, as is the case with a fracture of, say, a leg, but it is felt at a different level.

This could be the death of a loved one, a pet, a break in a relationship with a friend or someone very close, even a child growing up and realizing that he is going to leave the family nest and live separately.

Also a change of place of residence, work, loss of what always brought pleasure and helped to recover. Treason, lies, injustice, disappointment in others, in one’s own capabilities...

In general, the cause of emotional distress is everything that brings changes to a person’s life. And the more significant that “old” was, the more intense the feelings.

Basically, it depends on this intensity how quickly the soul will recover, and what consequences of the loss will make themselves felt.

Often, experiencing acute pain, especially if you do not give vent to feelings, trying to keep them inside, ends in serious health problems and depression with suicidal tendencies.

How to achieve inner harmony

Effective methods for different temperamental types.


  • Learn to control your emotions, especially anger.
  • Find a safe way for yourself and others that helps you give vent to your feelings.
  • Learn more about relaxation techniques.
  • Be in nature more often, try to feel the harmonious atmosphere.
  • Do meditation, yoga or any spiritual practice.
  • Focus on only one or two tasks and consistently complete them.
  • Try to develop flexible self-control, eliminate chaos, and bring order to your affairs.

Phlegmatic person.

  • Try to express emotions, not accumulate them in yourself.
  • Add more physical activity to your daily routine.
  • Learn to accept change and change yourself.
  • Open up to loved ones and family, trust them with your experiences.
  • Stop being lazy and take care of your body and soul.
  • Set clearly described goals for yourself and try to achieve them, overcoming all obstacles.
  • Get a cat, or even better, a dog. Taking care of a pet already makes a person active and cheerful.


  • Accustom yourself to perseverance, train attentiveness.
  • Conduct an analysis of your life, accept changes that will solve the problem with mental pain.
  • Do not suppress natural joyful emotions.
  • Listen more often to your rational part - to your mind.
  • Accept the fact that negative emotional experiences do not go away quickly, so you will have to be patient.
  • Try to comprehend the problem on a large scale, from all sides, taking into account the dangers and complications.
  • Try to slightly slow down the pace of life, enjoy the moment here and now.


  • Communicate more often with optimists, cheerful personalities.
  • Stop withdrawing into yourself and looking for the cause of problems in your own behavior.
  • Look for the positive in everything that happens around you.
  • Learn to endure troubles more easily, perceiving them as valuable experience.
  • Trust your own intuition - melancholic people have it best developed.
  • Love yourself, take care of your feelings, get rid of feelings of guilt or obsession.
  • Avoid loneliness, but look for worthwhile people who will rightfully appreciate the good traits of a melancholic person.

Some of these tips can be implemented independently or with the help and support of loved ones. However, for most, it is better to still seek help. This can be provided by a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Short-term mental pain can be extremely useful. It shows which problems are best solved immediately and how to prevent depression or other serious conditions. Inner balance gives joy and inspiration. It also helps to establish a mutually beneficial connection between the people around us, nature and personal interests and goals. Each type of temperament is capable of achieving such harmony. To strive for this means to seek your own path to happiness. And by taking a depression test, you can find out whether mental pain is associated with it.

What else happens?

It happens that mental pain affects existential experiences. A person comes face to face with loneliness and thinks about his place in this world, purpose and, in general, the meaning of existence.

Trying to understand his attitude towards death, in addition to fear and horror of the unknown. All this forces him to look for ways that will help him stop feeling and distract him from obsessive, depressive thoughts.

And then there is a risk of falling into a trap. When, in an attempt to escape from reality, he begins to drink alcohol, drugs, gets involved in gambling, becomes addicted to the computer, and so on.

This helps at first, but at one point it stops working and the discomfort returns again, only this time with the most serious consequences.

And it happens that it becomes chronic, accompanying its owner for a long time. Have you ever bought shoes that are not exactly your size?

And wear it, gradually rubbing your feet until such calluses form that even walking barefoot causes discomfort?

It’s just as possible, for example, to marry a person who is not very good to be around. And periodically one gets hurt by it, endures violence or indifference. Then the soul literally aches, suffering every minute.

By the way, each of us has our own certain limit, so to speak, the threshold of pain tolerance.

It is formed in childhood; if the adults who took care of the child, satisfied his basic needs, were emotionally involved, then he then has somewhere to draw resources from to cope with stress.

Mental weakness occurs when the baby has no support behind his back, which is why, if problems arise, he will suffer, not knowing what to do next.

Allow yourself to dream a little

When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a newly purchased car.

Find 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fancy. During a short-term stay in the virtual world, the border with reality is erased, existing problems become less important.

Turn on your favorite music, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have repeatedly proven that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. The released endorphins fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, your attitude towards what is happening changes, and strength appears for new achievements.

How does it help?


It’s hard to believe, but mental pain is beneficial; it’s only important to listen to your feelings and understand why it was given to you and what it can teach you.

For example, it performs a protective function. As if warning of possible destruction.

When you accidentally touch a hot pan, you instinctively withdraw your hand without even having time to think about what happened and why. If you linger even for a second, you end up with a burn.

And in a relationship, having heard an insult from a loved one addressed to you, you will move away from him a little - a completely instinctive, natural reaction.

And if you pay attention to her, you can realize that being around him is not so good. And if you choose to stay further, it means dooming yourself to suffering.

Then the experiences become a marker that someday this will end and this particular relationship will be terminated due to the injustice of the aggression shown.

If you choose the other option - to stay, then you will have to endure and resign yourself. An analogy would be to put your hand on a saucepan, which you didn’t want to burn yourself on, and for the sake of higher goals, endure the discomfort, and then treat the blisters.


Unfortunately, a person is not always able to appreciate and take care of what he loves. Often he does not even notice how significant something in his life is. Until he loses it.

So, mental pain is like a litmus test by which you can easily determine the importance of some events, people, and so on.

It is also a constant companion of change. People suffer a lot during a crisis, some cannot stand it and commit suicide.

But it is impossible to get something new without getting rid of the old. How to realize your needs without wanting to move.

Let's say, take marriage. You can experience anxiety, sadness, irritation, sadness, disappointment and other unpleasant feelings every second, but of low intensity and remain in it, afraid to take a step towards the unknown.

Or you can decide and terminate it, faced with severe pain, but at least get a chance to be happy with another partner when the emotions subside. This does not mean that the choice should always be made in favor of divorce.

Each situation is individual and requires a specific approach. The point is that crises in our lives are inevitable and, despite the discomfort, they actually give us opportunities to change our lives for the better.

Those who cannot cope with them face a new problem - internal personal conflicts. But you can learn more about them here.

Don't run away from your feelings

We have a habit of running away from pain. And this is not surprising. If you touched a hot stove, what would you do? You would remove your hand, wouldn't you? But, alas, this does not work with emotions.

Instead, imagine that you have an open wound on your arm and you need to pour hydrogen peroxide on it to clean it to avoid infection. It will hurt, but you have to endure it. However, if you ignore it and try to pretend like nothing happened, you will only make things worse. All sorts of germs will get onto the open wound and infection will begin. Your wound will never heal unless you treat it properly and close it.

Emotions work in a similar way. You must have the courage to face the pain and discomfort if you ever hope to cure it or at least manage the process. Just as a wound will heal on its own if it is properly treated, emotional scars will scar and disappear over time.

Let everyone be honest with themselves. It is impossible to guarantee that all forms of emotional pain will go away forever. Some will stay with you and you must learn to manage them

However, no matter what you are going through, with time and proper care and attention, your mental wound will heal, and you will be able to confidently move on.

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Basic ways to avoid

It is not surprising that people strive to forget themselves and look for ways to cope with mental torment.

But it often happens that in defending themselves from unpleasant feelings, they deprive themselves of the opportunity to breathe deeply, feeling joy and carelessness, lightness.

The psyche uses completely unconstructive methods of getting rid of anxiety. They are called psychological defense mechanisms. They were invented by nature to bring us good and keep us healthy.

Only sometimes it turns out that by going too far with this defense, we end up with even more suffering and difficulties.


Avoidance and devaluation are the most common. You will learn about what other psychological defense mechanisms exist from the article devoted directly to this topic.

Now let's look at those that help relieve suffering.

  • Depreciation. To make it not so bad, it’s easier to take it and decide that in fact the person you had to part with, the job you were fired from, and so on wasn’t really needed.
  • Avoidance. Having gotten out of a destructive relationship, it’s easier to consider all women, say, stupid, materialistic, and stop letting them get close. Or, realizing how much worry and anxiety the birth of a child will bring, abandon this idea and join the childfree movement. By the way, animals that have been abused usually react this way. They are afraid to approach a person in the future, even if he extends his hand to stroke them. That is, they are ready to give up pleasure, just to avoid getting into a situation that happened in the past and brought trauma.
  • Transfer or projection. A person, as if not recognizing the presence of pain in himself, projects it onto other people and animals. Why does he feel for them what he would like to receive? For example, he develops vigorous activity, trying to help someone and ignoring his own fatigue and limited resources. He feels sorry for everyone around him, forgetting to take time for himself.

Time of sorrow

The shock and denial of the loss lasts about 48 hours. During the first week, emotional exhaustion is observed (there were funerals, funeral services, meetings, wakes). From 2 to 5 weeks, some people return to everyday activities: work, school, normal life. But those closest to us begin to feel the loss most acutely. They experience melancholy, grief, and anger more acutely. This is a period of acute grief that can drag on for a long time. Mourning lasts from three months to a year; this is a period of helplessness. Some are overtaken by depression, others need additional care

An anniversary is a very important event when the ritual end of mourning takes place. That is, a service, a trip to the cemetery, a memorial

Relatives gather, and the common grief eases the grief of loved ones. This happens if there is no jam. That is, if a person cannot come to terms with the loss, is not able to return to everyday life, he seems to be stuck in his grief, remaining in his grief.

Why should you go to specialists for help?

I would like to remind you that any pain will end sooner or later. Even if it seems like it will never be possible to remove it. And although the phrase: “Time heals” can sometimes be annoying, it never loses its relevance. Because after night there always comes day.

You can simply speed up the healing process by turning to specialists. When the body is sick, a person goes to the doctors. This is, of course, when he is interested in living a full life.

If not, then he ignores the disease and drinks alcohol so as not to worry too much about its presence. But this option is not for us. So, when your soul hurts, turn to psychologists and psychotherapists.

With their help, you can discover the true causes of painful experiences. Accordingly, you will understand how to deal with them for sure, and you will transform your defense mechanisms from destructive to constructive.

And, most importantly, get support, speak out, cry if necessary and simply feel the presence of another person nearby. Quality, not when they listen to you with half an ear, thinking about their own things and dreaming when you will shut up.

By the way, if you feel really bad, you should consult a psychiatrist. Not to be locked in a clinic and have your hands tied in a straitjacket.

And so that after the consultation, if necessary, medications are prescribed that will relieve anxiety, calm and relax. Antidepressants, for example, will help improve mood, which is usually either absent or unstable.

And it won’t hurt to get enough sleep to restore resources spent on emotions if you are prescribed sleeping pills.

In general, remember, the sooner you get help, the greater the likelihood of recovery without any special consequences for the body.

Let’s say, without accompanying depression, asthenia, or, even worse, mental disorders, the occurrence of which can be triggered by stress.


All reasons for experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:

  • first – diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
  • the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between “real” and “desired” (true neuroses).

Help with mental pain

It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.

In some cases, help means conversation and support or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.

In others, neurometabolic therapy using special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.

Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.



When a person feels suffering, he loses connection with himself, his body. Therefore, in order to heal the soul, it is important to restore contact with the body.

Let's say, if you can easily tolerate a massage, go for at least 5 sessions. Feeling the boundaries of your body, it will be easier for you to notice that experiences also have these boundaries, and accordingly, someday you will go beyond their limits and experience relief.

The muscles of the back and neck will relax, which are usually very tight, tense and cause discomfort during stress.


No matter how childish it may seem, keep a diary where you pour out the entire stream of thoughts that are swarming in your head. You cannot accumulate unpleasant and difficult emotions, as this will only make the situation worse.

Imagine that a wound has festered, and instead of disinfecting it, treating it with medicine and covering it with an adhesive bandage, a person simply took it and covered it with something so as not to see.

In general, you understand, take a leaf and free up space within yourself for other feelings and thoughts.

Just don’t immediately criticize what you’ve written. You will re-read everything later, when it becomes easier.

Physical exercise

Yes, the best way to get rid of mental suffering is to work hard physically. Choose the method yourself, let it be a workout, general cleaning, or just a long walk in the park.

In addition to the fact that you will relieve excess tension, you will get tired, which means you will fall asleep faster. This will also give you a dose of endorphins, joy hormones.

Even if not immediately, but gradually you will begin to enjoy physical activity. And as a bonus there will be a toned figure and improved well-being.

Immerse yourself in a state

Yes, it's scary, almost terrifying at times. After all, how can you allow yourself to completely surrender to feelings if it’s already unbearable?

But this is necessary, the longer you try to avoid suffering, the longer you will live with it.

Enlist the support of loved ones, allow yourself not to be happy and smiling for at least some time. If you feel bad about parting with your loved one, grieve, that’s the only way you can

you will gradually reach a level where there is not pain, but sadness. And there it’s just a stone’s throw away to a feeling of relief, calm and even tranquility.

Just don’t try to forget what happened. This will devalue what should have been part of your life story, part of you.

Take care of your health

If you have an addiction, no matter to alcohol, cigarettes, etc., be sure to take up the question of how to get rid of it. Because addictions only aggravate the condition, and do not help in any way to recover and become happy.

Review your diet by giving up fatty and fried foods. Add foods that will help your body recover, such as nuts, vegetables, sea fish, spinach.

And bananas, grapes and oranges with strawberries stimulate the production of endorphins, joy hormones.

Be sure to get enough sleep, most importantly, do not give in to hysterics before going to bed, including movies that only make you want to cry.

Ventilate the room, drink a glass of warm milk and calm the swarm of thoughts in your head by, for example, performing breathing techniques to relieve stress.


Under no circumstances should you remain completely alone for a long time. Yes, this is extremely necessary at times, but there is a risk of getting so used to it that in the future you won’t be able to let anyone near you.

So, when you realize that it’s time to act, otherwise despondency and apathy will take over, try changing the picture. Enlist the support of someone who can be there for you without further traumatizing you, and go on a journey.

You don’t have to fly to another country, just get out of your home and go on a tour of your own city. Visit an exhibition, a museum, in general, try to spend time a little differently than lately.

How to get rid of heartache after a breakup

Parting with a loved one is perceived as a physical loss - the death of this person. And both of these situations give rise to similar mental reactions. At first, the subconscious mind refuses to accept the fact that the loved one is no longer around. Desire collides with harsh reality, which is why suffering arises. After this stage, a stage of indignation arises, when love for a person is replaced by hatred, accusing him of all sins, and the desire for revenge. In the future, worries arise about time that was wasted. All these are just different versions of suffering.

What can you do here? The best way is to face the truth. In addition, it is important to realize that a love relationship is not the only or even the most important thing in life. And unsuccessful love gave an invaluable experience: if you fall in love, then it is with a real person, and not with a simplified image drawn by the consciousness.


A fairly common condition of the human body, when the soul hurts from insults. Injustices in this life lie in wait for us at every corner, and no matter how hard we try, it is impossible to cope with them all. If the feeling of resentment arose as a result of a situation that you can influence, then it is best to act and strive to restore justice. If the situation is obviously a win-win situation, it is better to let it go and forget it as quickly as possible. Resistance will take away much more vitality from you than ignoring what happened. If a feeling of resentment arose after something a loved one said to you, it is better not to eat yourself up about this, but to talk openly with him. A fairly common situation is when a person screws himself up and comes up with the development of the plot in one phrase. A constructive conversation will help you figure out the essence of the problem and understand for yourself, first of all, whether there is a reason to be offended.

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