How to cope with stress, Smart stress Irina Vasilyeva How many people realize how powerfully imagination affects the human body? And that sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get rid of negative thoughts? On the Internet you can find different opinions on this matter.
Someone says that there are exercises and techniques that can help you get rid of negative thoughts from your head forever. Some, on the contrary, consider this an unattainable dream and only suggest minimizing the consequences of such thoughts.
You can find answers to these and other questions by reading my article today, dear reader.
The idea of combating negative thoughts is not new. Back in the fifth century BC, the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu advised being very attentive to your thoughts. And you don’t even have to look far for other historical examples. Many believers intuitively resorted to the constant repetition of prayers or mantras, as they noticed that their attention thus switched from negative thoughts to positive ones.
Since then, many exercises and techniques have been created to help fight negative thoughts in your own head.
Experience shows that in most cases, a bad mood, negative emotions or even a mental disorder sometimes depend not only and not so much on the specific situation that happened to a person, but on what thoughts he reacted to it.
In other words, it depends on what thoughts, unnoticed by a person, are constantly spinning in his head.
However, many of us, in situations of psychological stress, refuse to turn to proven recipes and try to “reinvent the wheel.”
How to implement the experience accumulated by humanity in your life and stop thinking negatively - this is what we will discuss today.
Admittedly, most psychological methods and techniques give more stable results when working together with a psychologist or psychotherapist due to receiving feedback (and in the case of disorders, this is a necessity).
However, this does not in any way diminish the value of the independent steps that the attentive reader can take to work on negative thoughts.
Best friend
We often treat ourselves as our worst enemy: we scold ourselves for the slightest mistakes, we constantly reproach and reprimand. There are three simple steps that will help you stop this self-torture.
Don't hold back
If you feel like crying, screaming, breaking dishes, or hating yourself, go ahead. Three minutes and everything will be over. But then the whole day you will feel like a completely new person.
Track
You need to understand what exactly causes negative thoughts in you and when it happens: at work, at home, on the way to the store. This approach will help you understand why this situation makes you feel this way and how you can deal with it.
Tell yourself what your best friend would say
If negative thoughts creep into your head again, take a break. Give yourself compliments, encouragement and repeat the mantra “everything will be fine” several times.
Top 25 Tips on How to Deal with Negativity at Work and at Home
People experience negative feelings such as sadness, anger, jealousy or hatred when the situation they are in is out of their control. Negativity is very common, especially in the workplace. These emotions tend to make people doubt themselves and affect the way they perform work and perceive things. Although it is generally natural to sometimes find ourselves in situations that can cause us negative emotions, it is still worth knowing how to cope with such negative emotions. Below are 25 tips to help you cope with negative emotions caused by unpleasant situations. 25. Assess the situation objectively
You should never make a big deal out of a mountain. When something bad happens, try to avoid exaggeration and the desire to make the situation more negative than it really is. Sometimes a person can deceive himself and make a mountain out of a molehill by constantly thinking it over and over again. This is unnecessary and leads to unwanted stress. Instead, try to think of solutions to the problem and apply some of the tips you find in this list. 24. Learn to be reasonable
This advice goes hand in hand with advice from point #25. When bad situations happen, the temptation to act hastily, on a wave of emotion instead of logic, is too strong. First of all, you should learn to keep your emotions under control and not let them affect your judgment. If something unpleasant happens, just accept that bad things happen sometimes and find a way to deal with them and move on with your life. 23. Think about ways that help you relax.
This is a simple solution, but, nevertheless, it is one of the most effective.
If you are overwhelmed by a wave of negativity, this can be a clear sign that you are mentally “blown away.” Get out of the negative environment and relax. If you are at work, this can be a difficult task. However, there are solutions here too, you can go and talk to someone in another department and take a walk during lunch instead of eating with colleagues indoors. 22. Try to understand the situation and learn from it
The sad truth is that we live in a world full of negativity. However, this does not mean that you are doomed to fall into his network. Learn to recognize negative situations and learn from them, overcoming them while remaining positive. Usually, there is a positive side to every situation, even if it is small. Learn to find it and focus on it. 21. Exercise
Not many people are aware of the fact that apart from keeping your figure in good shape, exercise also helps reduce stress levels in the body. Exercising, for example, allows the body to better cope with negative emotions, since the process produces endorphins, which make you feel better. 20. Don't hold on to the past
It's true, we do learn from our mistakes (at least that's how it should be). But it’s one thing to learn a lesson from your mistake and move on in life, and a completely different thing to ruminate on the past and drown in a quagmire of negativity. Learn to understand that the past will remain the past. Just like that, because you still won’t be able to change it. You cannot influence it, embellish it, stop the moment in the past, erase it from your memory, or subject it to any other form of adjustment. Therefore, if you still cannot change anything in your past, why would you waste valuable life energy and time on thoughts and regrets? Instead, focus on the present and strive for a brighter future. You'll feel happier and more productive when you focus all your wasted energy on what you can do in the present. 19. Learn not just to listen, but to hear people
Listening is one of the best ways to deal with negativity in the workplace. Just like you, your work colleagues want to be heard and they need someone who can simply listen to them. During group discussions, try to listen carefully to other people, and not just what you have to say. This will improve your relationships with your colleagues and help prevent situations that could otherwise become a source of negativity. 18. Recognize that you are a human being just like everyone else and that you also make mistakes sometimes.
Recognize that you are just human and that you sometimes support decisions that you don't really like. Of course, it is very difficult to admit that you, too, are capable of contributing to the spread of negativity around you. If you learn to admit your ability to make mistakes, it will become much easier for you to perceive the negativity of other people, and the best remedy against negativity, as we know, is tolerance. However, tolerance does not mean absorbing this negativity into yourself. Just try to create a positive environment and be a positive person. 17. Spend some time reflecting on the positive aspects of your life.
Spend some time alone every day and think about the positive aspects of your life. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the obvious negativity, but when you stop for a minute and think about your life, it becomes clear that you actually have a lot to be grateful for that other people don't have. . 16. Take breaks or go for walks alone.
When you are in an extremely stressful situation and you feel like the ground is about to disappear from under your feet, plunging you into the abyss of negativity, take a break and take a walk. Apart from the fact that walking reduces stress in the body, it also prevents your negative emotions from running high and causing you to say something that you will later regret. 15. Accept yourself for who you are, along with all your shortcomings and strengths
Dealing with negativity partly involves accepting yourself and learning how you can help yourself. If you fail to achieve a goal, never blame or beat yourself up for a poor decision or error in judgment. Know that you are human and are capable of committing wrongdoing, just like everyone else. 14. Avoid being overly defensive
Try not to let yourself become too defensive. This is especially appropriate in workplaces where clashes with co-workers during stressful situations are not uncommon. If someone says something negative, try not to immediately rear up. Listen to what was said and if there is a grain of truth in what was said, act accordingly. However, if there is not a grain of truth in a negative statement, do not let what is said get to you, remain calm and remain positive. 13. Instead of thinking about a negative situation, try to think about possible ways to solve it.
The ultimate goal is to finish the job with an optimal result. If you dwell on a negative situation or thought, you are wasting time because things are not moving forward. Instead, acknowledge the severity of the situation, but begin to think about possible ways to resolve it or improvements that can be made to alleviate it. 12. Ask open-ended questions
Ask open-ended questions to help identify the source of a negative situation. By asking open-ended questions such as: “What do you think will happen if ___?”, “What would you like to know about _____?”, What do you already know about _____?”, you allow people to give more natural answers that will help reveal much more debated issue. This is great because such questions and discussions give room to the individuality and creativity of your peers and work colleagues (in a positive situation). On the other hand, closed questions such as: “Are you feeling better today?”, “Do you think you’re right?”, “Which is better, green or red?” limit their answers to “yes” and “no”, which depending on the context, it can be perceived as a manifestation of confrontation. Whether you're trying to determine the cause of a negative situation or create a more positive solution, the best tactic is to ask open-ended questions. 11. Resolve to remain calm.
We have more power over our actions than we think. The decision to become angry or to remain rational and calm is just that – a decision. Make a conscious, intentional decision to remain calm when negative situations arise. Not only will this help you stay calm, but it will also give you a chance to turn a negative situation into a more positive one. 10. Solve one problem at a time
Discuss all the issues and solve one problem at a time. This will allow you to more effectively focus on finding a way out of the situation that is causing negativity in the workplace. 9. Give other people the opportunity to express their opinions
Sometimes, all it takes to reduce negativity is to listen to the person. We are all human and each of us wants to be heard and appreciated. 8. Never brush off a complaint, even if it seems very trivial.
This applies to both work and home environments. Don't make it a habit to ignore complaints, even if they seem trivial to you. If someone felt that this complaint was important, then for that person it is far from trivial. Listen to what the person is saying and try not to take what they say personally. A complaint may be a valuable observation worth considering. Listening to her will let the person speaking know that you value her opinion and will create a more positive and productive environment. 7. Try not to get too carried away with creating rules.
Never make rules for everyone if only a few break the rules. This is another example of advice that you can use both at work and at home. If you're in a powerful position at work, try not to create a ton of rules. It is important to give people the freedom to express their individuality, while at the same time maintaining an appropriate work routine. However, too many rules create a stressful environment and can become a source of negativity both at work and at home. 6. Enter the suggestion box program
In most cases, problems in the workplace arise because there is no necessary dialogue between employees and management. Thanks to the introduction of a suggestion box, employees will be able to speak freely and thus, the administration will be able to understand exactly what problems need to be solved first. 5. Sponsor company events that serve as an ideal environment for developing camaraderie among employees.
This advice is more suitable for a work environment. It is very useful to hold an event for your employees at least once a year that can unite them. These activities will give your employees a sense of fun, as well as promote work-life balance and make them feel appreciated. 4. Investigate situations that involve multiple employees.
In the workplace, sometimes problems arise that affect not just one or two employees, but an entire group. Such problems contribute to the growth of negativity and need to be resolved as soon as possible. To deal with such a problem, try to research this problem and solve it in the most optimal way. 3. Always respond quickly
A quick solution to the issue helps to get rid of negativity in the team as soon as possible. The longer you wait and put off finding a way out of a difficult situation, the more the negativity increases and affects you, the people around you and even those people with whom you work. 2. Always have a plan in place to deal with negativity.
It's always good to have a plan for how you can deal with negativity, this means that you should think about situations that are potential sources of negativity and think ahead about your actions that will contribute to successfully finding a way out of them. Naturally, you cannot predict the future, but planning and thinking through different scenarios will allow you to be much better prepared for problematic situations should they arise. For example, you are at work and you hear your co-workers gossiping about your boss. How will you behave in this negative situation? Think about it now, and if such a situation happens in real life, you will know exactly what needs to be done. 1. Stop office gossip from spreading.
If you hold a leadership position, warn your subordinates about the dangers of starting and spreading gossip. Gossip is one of the most common causes of negativity in the workplace, as it causes workers to have negative thoughts about other people and adversely affects work and interpersonal relationships in the work team.
Deep breathing
Whenever you are dealing with the anger of others, use the principles of deep breathing. Take a step back and then inhale slowly and methodically. After a deep breath, take a long exhale. Repeat this practice until you feel completely calm. This technique is useful when interacting with people who deliberately provoke you to retaliate. Is someone trying to throw you off balance? Skilled manipulators often use this technique because they know that stress hormones in the victim's body trigger the "fight or flight" response. Deep breathing helps you use common sense rather than instinct. By freeing yourself from panic, you gain control over the situation.
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Definition of Negative Thinking
Thinking is a mental process of reflecting reality, that is, it is a subjective perception of the world by a specific person. Negative thinking is seeing the world in dark colors. A person with such a mindset thinks in extremes (black and white perception), and he characterizes himself to a greater extent through the prism of dark shades. Such a person is sure that he will not succeed (no matter what he undertakes), that he is not capable of anything. He sees his future as bleak. And he usually perceives other people through the prism of white shades: they succeed, they are lucky, they are good, they are better than me.
Note! A pessimist concentrates on failures, his shortcomings, negative memories. Such people complain about their problems and go into self-flagellation, but do nothing to change their lives.
Why is it common?
According to neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, over the course of evolution, our brains have programmed itself to focus on the negative and relegate the positive to the background. This is due to the fact that every day we have to make dozens of choices, solve a lot of problems, be mobile and active. Negative experiences are consolidated in 1-2 seconds, and positive ones take up to 10 seconds to consolidate. So it turns out that small multiple shocks clog our brain so much that there is no more space left in it, and a person has no strength left to fix the positive.
Prevention
Prevention of negative thinking needs to be done at the level of the family, society, and individual. What will help prevent the formation of negative thinking:
- democratic style of education in the family;
- timely treatment of somatic and mental illnesses;
- timely correction of any psychological problems, including prevention of exhaustion;
- refusal to communicate with toxic people;
- focusing on personal achievements and strengths;
- communication with motivating people.
Remember the reasons for the formation of negative thinking. Its prevention includes preventing each of them.
Pay attention to pleasant little things and do not exaggerate troubles
Negatively thinking people consider everything good that happens to them as an accident, and troubles as the rule. This underestimation of the positive is a major mistake.
Be objective and do not downplay the significance of the positive, because the number of good and not so good events is approximately the same. Learn to notice everything good and fix your attention on it. Your inner skeptic will grumble gloatingly: “Well, of course, that’s very nice, but actually...”. Don't let the cynic out, drive him out. Every evening, remember three experiences that made your day enjoyable. Let it be the ringing of drops, the chirping of sparrows and a cup of delicious coffee, gradually you will learn not to miss a single warm moment of life.
Try not to blow every problem out of proportion. You weren't awarded a New Year's bonus? This is not the end of life. The girl didn't show up for a date? This does not mean that you are disgusting to women. Burnt pie? This is not a sign that life is not going well.
Don't fall under the hot hand
Sometimes a boorish attitude towards others is provoked by difficulties in your friend’s life. Anger cannot tear people apart on a daily basis. They find themselves in a closed emotional circle from which they cannot escape. When they are at the top, their attitude towards other people is quite predictable. But when they fall into the “pit”, they are ready to burn the bridges behind them. You can't do anything about your friend's character. However, you are quite capable of protecting yourself from unwanted conflicts. Don't fall under his hot hand.
Determine the offender's motives
To disarm an abuser, you must learn to determine his motives. Find out more about this person's character and how his past quarrels ended. Try to resolve the conflict based on the facts received, do not forget to listen to your own intuition. Some people are manipulative, so they deliberately conflict with others. They have a bad reputation, and meanness can be explained by psychological trauma, poor upbringing or low self-esteem. This type of people is accustomed to self-affirmation at the expense of humiliating others, and you are unlikely to be able to change them. It is a completely different matter when a person becomes evil due to internal contradictions. He sows negativity around himself because he is confused and on an unconscious level is looking for help. But whatever the offender's motives, let him know that you are aware of his intentions.
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Emotional Features
There is also a type of people who are overly susceptible to their own emotions. These people tend to speak loudly, almost screaming. This manner of communication is typical in situations where an emotional person defends his own point of view. If you categorize your opponent as a “Hot Head,” act on the contrary. This person is not trying to offend or scold you. He is used to communicating in a raised voice and expects the same from you. In this case, the best strategy is to remain calm. Remember how wise lecturers enter the classroom to first-year students. They try to speak as quietly as possible, so they achieve perfect silence.
Don’t cut off your rational opponent mid-sentence; let him finish his “angry” tirade. Then take a break, take a deep breath and calmly say: “Can’t you hear yourself from the outside? It feels like you’re a little out of your depth.” A rational opponent will understand your claims the first time. He will be embarrassed and try to apologize to you. Show your interlocutor that you do not intend to stoop to his level of communication. After all, your conversation is a two-way street.
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