How to get rid of negative thoughts and emotions: 3 effective methods

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The manifestation of feelings and emotions is a natural property of the psyche of any intelligent living being. Animals experience primitive emotions, but in humans the sensory sphere is unusually widely developed. Even if they say about a certain person that he is not emotional, or behaves very reservedly, do not believe it - this is a mask. Such people have learned to tightly control their emotions and not show them in public. Another type of people, on the contrary, cannot live a full life without a violent expression of their emotions. If you are wondering how to kill all feelings and emotions in yourself, you must understand that you will not be able to do this completely. However, you can help yourself significantly.

What to do when negativity appears

When a person has negative emotions, there are only three options for action. Many people know about two of them, but only a few use the third. Although it is the most effective.

1. Suppression
2. Expression
3. Control

Suppression

Almost everyone suppressed their negative experiences. People think that this is how they leave. But in fact, they simply turn into a “piggy bank” of negativity. And any piggy bank will someday fill up and burst. And then all the suppressed emotions will come out at once. It's not hard to guess how this could end.

Expression

This method is a little better because emotions are not stored inside and do not spoil health. But it is not without its shortcomings. A person who expresses his feelings can harm others. Both emotionally and physically. Because of this, he develops new negativity in the form of feelings of guilt and shame.

Control

Not many people have the ability to control their emotions. This is because people don’t want to improve their emotional intelligence. But it has more practical benefits than IQ. Control allows you to cope with negative experiences without harm to others and the person himself. You can learn it with a little theory and constant practice.

Watch your consciousness

In stressful situations, the voice in your head automatically becomes louder and louder. Typically, he will start complaining, projecting anger, and creating disgusting pictures in your head.

For example, one of your close people accidentally embarrassed you in front of a group of people. At this moment, a voice begins to sound in your head.

“I can't believe he did this! Why did he do this? What the ******! I will take revenge on him!”

Then a fantasy of how to take revenge on your friend begins to arise in your mind.

This type of negative thinking begins to manifest itself in various situations.

In the continuation of this article, we will call this negative voice and bad pictures in your head the ego.

To stop your ego and not allow it to rule your entire life, you need to do one simple thing. Observe the voice and pictures in your head from a 3rd person perspective. Observe as if the ego is completely separate from you. If you start judging this voice (“I hate my ego! Stop controlling me!”), then the ego will come in through the back door. Do you notice the irony?

By observing and processing the ego as a separate part of you, you separate it from yourself. As a result, the negative images stop.

Basic ways to control emotions

There are three main techniques to help cope with negative emotions. They apply equally to all their types. However, these methods will require introspection and attention to your emotional processes.

Give a name

This technique is called marking. To implement it, you need to learn to notice the approach of a negative reaction. Without this, you won't be able to do everything on time.

The next step is to define the sensations that arise. You can use any words, so you don’t have to understand exactly what emotion you are experiencing.

This method works as follows. The limbic system of the brain is responsible for human emotions, and the frontal cortex is responsible for coming up with words and thinking. Between themselves, these two systems are antagonists. This means that the work of one mechanism (the frontal cortex) turns off the action of another (the limbic system). Therefore, the emotional response becomes less pronounced.

Overestimate

Reappraisal gets rid of negativity by changing a person’s attitude towards the situation. This method is deeper and therefore requires a high level of awareness and introspection. There are several types of revaluation:

• Firstly, you can reduce the negative connotation of the event. For example, if you feel fear, you can convince yourself that there is no strong threat.
• Secondly, accept your reaction as the norm. For example, being afraid in a dangerous situation is an absolutely adequate reaction of the body. Without fear, humanity would die out.
• Thirdly, look at the situation from the perspective of another person or a third party. This way the reaction becomes more thoughtful and objective.

Ask meta questions

Meta-questions help activate thought processes and find new ways to solve situations. A person asks them to himself. The mechanism is also associated with the activity of the prefrontal cortex. Here are some questions you can use:

1. “What was the trigger for this emotion?”
2. “What is the purpose of this experience?”
3. “Can we get some use out of it?”
4. “Which emotion would be more useful in this situation?”
5. “How to create this new reaction?”

In addition to general ways to control emotions and get rid of them, there are also special cases. They apply to a specific experience. Therefore, it is worth considering some emotions in more detail.

Train your own imagination

If, in the process of talking or experiencing a particular negative situation, you are faced with an explosion of emotions, if you want to suppress feelings, know how to fantasize. Replace your negative emotions with any picture: for example, how you are walking through the forest or the seashore, the main thing is that it should evoke a positive mood.

But don't get too caught up in your own fantasies. Your consciousness, even part of it, must remain alert, react soberly and adequately to current problems.

Anger

Both a fool and a wise man can become angry, but a fool blinded by anger becomes its slave. In the heat of rage, he himself does not know what he is doing, and all his actions turn out to be evil for him.

Anger is an emotion that causes a state of passion. This is where most crimes are committed. Anger arises because a person's expectations are not met. However, this emotion can also be useful. You just need to direct her energy in the right direction.

The first thing to do to deal with anger is to recognize the problem and firmly resolve to deal with it. This way the human consciousness will receive the necessary installation. Next, you need to find an activity into which you can redirect your anger. Sports are best suited for this. It trains not only the body, but also the character, and also teaches how to overcome pain.

You must learn to recognize the physiological signals of anger. For example, increased heart rate and breathing, muscle tension. This will help you say “stop” in time.

The most effective way to get rid of anger is to lower expectations. It is precisely because of their inconsistency with reality that this emotion arises. Understand that no one owes you anything.

Order intuitive and metaphorical cards

1

Fear

This emotion is basic. Without it, a person will commit actions that threaten life. However, at present there are not many threats to life, so fear is not always appropriate. It limits actions and does not allow development. The following steps will help you get rid of fear:

• Accepting fear. Without this, you won't be able to get rid of it.
• Answers to meta-questions. They will allow you to realize the destructiveness of this emotion.
• Action despite fear. Only by facing your phobia can you overcome it.

Sadness

If sadness comes to you, old woman in black, do not drive it away. Sit her down and listen to what she has to tell you

K. G. Jung

This feeling arises when not everything is going well in a person’s life. Sadness is dangerous because it can lead to depression. At the same time, it is a great impetus for change. Sadness allows you to stop and rethink many moments in life. This interpretation of this emotion has a positive effect.

In order not to drown in sadness, you need to understand that it will not last forever. Eventually she will retreat, and then the white streak will begin. You just need to endure it and start changing something.

Guilt

Guilt occurs when someone has done something that has harmed other people. Statistics say that a large number of suicides occur under the influence of this feeling. It appears in childhood, when parents scold for an offense. Therefore, getting rid of guilt is not so easy.

To do this, you need to objectively assess the situation. Perhaps the person is not really to blame. Next, you need to separate yourself from this feeling, draw conclusions and forgive yourself. In this case, guilt will be replaced by responsibility. And this will prevent you from committing a similar act in the future.

Negative emotions often bother people. However, they are an integral part of life. Denial of negative emotions is also a negative experience. Therefore, you should not be afraid of them. A much better solution would be to accept and work on yourself.

Advice from psychologists

Often people do not make any effort to correct their own behavior.

This position is erroneous, since a person first of all suffers from his excitability .

By learning to manage your emotions, you can significantly improve the quality of your life.

How to get rid of excessive excitability?

You can get rid of increased excitability in the following ways:

1. Eliminate health problems. If the cause of increased excitability lies in neurological, endocrine, mental, or vascular diseases, then it is necessary to initially solve health problems.
2. Correct breathing, meditation. Meditation techniques used by yogis have long been widespread throughout the world.
   The ability to breathe correctly and concentrate on the internal sensations of your body helps not only improve your overall health, but also learn to control yourself.

   When you feel irritation approaching, you need to concentrate on your own breathing. Usually, during excitement, a person begins to breathe quickly and shallowly. Developing deep, slow breathing at such moments will automatically lead to muscle relaxation and a feeling of calm.

3. Liberation from the past. Often the cause of nervousness lies in the “ghosts” of the past that do not let a person go. Unsuccessful relationships, difficult breakups, betrayals - all this becomes heavy life baggage, which greatly undermines the internal resources of the body. Receptive, impressionable people do not know how to let go of their past and think only in the present. For this reason, experiences and sad memories accumulated throughout life gradually greatly change the level of emotionality and the ability to self-control for the worse.
4. Awareness of one's own worth. The ease of emotional reactions may be due to low levels of self-esteem. Other people's opinions, gossip, and remarks can easily unsettle an insecure person and lead him into a state of increased excitability.
   Having realized your own value as an individual, you can easily come to the understanding that other people's assessments do not matter.

   Freeing yourself from such addiction will significantly reduce the level of emotional anxiety.

5. The ability to admit mistakes. Often the cause of irritation or anger lies in the awareness of one’s own wrongness and unwillingness to admit the obvious state of affairs.
   For example, a person's constant irritability in the workplace may be caused by an inability to perform the duties assigned to him. Experiencing constant stress due to failures and judgment from others, a person begins to demonstrate affective behavior. Changing the situation (in this case, changing the type of activity) allows you to restore peace of mind.
6. Appeal to nature . Nature is a source of positive emotions. It allows you to achieve peace of mind and escape from the everyday hustle and bustle. This is especially useful for residents of megacities, who constantly exist in an irritating atmosphere. Hiking, sitting by the fire, active games in the fresh air, cycling - all this helps to calm the nervous system and restore vital energy.
7. Proper rest. People often spend their free time from professional activities shopping, meeting friends in cafes, and solving many everyday issues.
   These ways of spending the weekend are quite natural, but in case of emotional overstimulation they are not desirable.

   If you have obvious psychological problems, it is important to try to spend your holiday as calmly as possible: get enough sleep, read, walk in the fresh air. These are the actions that will help you truly relax and calm down.

8. Positive thinking. In almost any critical situation, you can find positive moments. It is important to constantly work on developing a positive mindset. If you are in a bad mood, you should start thinking about something good that is coming in the future, or remember funny moments from the past. Psychologists claim that a simple mechanical smile on the face automatically leads to an improvement in mood, since the brain receives an appropriate signal.

How to turn off emotions?

To learn to turn off emotions, you need to do the following:

1. Make a conscious decision to take control of your temper .
   What distinguishes humans from animals is, among other things, the presence of willpower and the ability to control their thinking. Any external manifestation of emotion is a conscious choice of a person. Accordingly, by giving yourself a set-up, you can gradually learn to carry it out. You can stimulate the development of a skill using a system of rewards and punishments.
2. Strengthen self-esteem. Any critical remark addressed to you should be taken adequately and rationally. If the person making the remark says objective things, this is a reason to analyze his behavior and work on himself. If the remark is made with the intention of causing offense and has no basis, it is important not to show any emotional reaction and completely abstract from what was heard. It is very difficult to offend a person who knows his worth. He perceives all people's judgments about himself objectively and openly, easily separating truth from slander.
3. Learn to recognize warning signs. By observing yourself, you can easily identify the key sensations that arise before the onset of an emotional reaction (stomach pain, sore throat, muscle tension, rapid heartbeat, etc.). The appearance of these sensations becomes a signal that an undesirable reaction is approaching.
4. Lower expectations. People experience dissatisfaction most often due to high expectations from the surrounding reality, from other people. Everyone wants everything in their life to happen only in accordance with their desires and plans. The ability to accept the situation as it is allows you to enjoy the present and not focus on minor failures. This gives a feeling of calm and peace.
5. Develop positive thinking. The same situation can cause completely opposite reactions in people.
   This indicates that we often form our own attitude towards events. The ability to look at a problem from a different angle often allows you to find a way out of the situation and minimize the stress experienced.