Obsessive thoughts are just a stage of life that you are currently going through and which, like many things, you just need to endure. Even if the body is shaking from depression, despondency and resentment for the well-being of others (why me?), it will still pass with time.
I also faced this problem, so I understand your situation. At first, your whole life loses color, fear appears, and the ability to rejoice disappears. But then the wave goes down, and you gain valuable experience. The attitude towards many things changes, simple and important things are realized.
To speed up this process, I suggest you familiarize yourself with some techniques. They will help relieve mental pain and quickly return to reality.
But for a complete “recovery” we will still need time. It’s just that at a certain point you will be so tired of animal fear and self-humiliation that out of anger you will throw away obsessive thoughts without any techniques.
The Nature of Fear
We get nervous because of the fear of losing or not getting what we want. Fear occurs when a person imagines an unfavorable outcome of a situation. Most often, nothing has happened yet, and we are already afraid. It sounds stupid, but this is how our brain works. Constant fears cause anxiety, and anxiety causes stress. The latter carries a lot of consequences:
- Decreased immunity and illness.
- Diffidence.
- Psychological diseases.
- Problems with others.
Do you need it? Of course not. Therefore, you will have to make efforts to improve the quality of your life. Remember the consequences before you push yourself for any reason, it will become easier to stop and stop yourself.
Signs and symptoms of obsessive thoughts
We will talk specifically about such manifestations of negative thoughts that can be recognized as a problem or a prerequisite for a problem. If you are experiencing some significant event in your life, be it with a plus or minus sign, then there is nothing unusual in your thoughts, you just need to wait a little until the impressions wear off. You can talk about a problem when there is no event, but anxiety awaits around every corner, every little thing seems more important than it really is. The very fact that you understand this is a good warning light.
The first noticeable symptom will be reduced ability to work. At work, a person has to concentrate on current tasks, even if they are not interesting to him. Not everyone likes the job, but everyone has to do it. Obsessive thoughts interfere with concentration and are difficult to stop. It's like listening to two audiobooks at the same time and trying to hear only one. The task is complex and forces you to strain several times more than under normal conditions, when there is no interference.
The second symptom is a deterioration in general condition due to constant anxiety. You feel that depressive disorder is just around the corner, something is poisoning your life and preventing you from feeling happy. A person loses weight, loses appetite, sleeps poorly, and gets upset over little things. Neither rest nor a change of environment changes the situation.
Reasons for corrals
Let us highlight the main situations that do not allow us to stop being sad and driven. It will not be possible to cover everything, but you can draw an analogy for your own case.
So, we often worry about:
- Own appearance. The hair did not lie perfectly, the nail was broken, the fat was deposited in the wrong place.
- Other people. They didn’t understand us, we didn’t understand them, how could they do this, why do they like it, etc.
- Self-realization. I wanted the best, but it turned out so-so. Annoys.
- Environment. It started to rain, the elevator broke down, the tram blocked the road, so you were late, wet and very tired.
- Relationships with a loved one. How to stop worrying about relationships is a separate topic, but we will look at the main points.
Mental "chewing gum"
I've always had these thoughts. They could occupy my head and make me nervous, endlessly thinking about the same experiences. It was like mentally chewing gum.
I constantly chewed the same thoughts in my head, trying to resolve them, untie some imaginary knot. But from my attempts to loosen it, on the contrary, it became even tighter.
I remember how, back in my early childhood, I couldn’t stop thinking about some things that I didn’t have to think about at all. My brain’s habit of endlessly “processing” certain experiences and ideas must have worsened during times of panic attacks and other psychological problems.
I recently realized that I have learned how to deal with intrusive thoughts. Moreover, I am ready to formulate a method that allows me to get rid of them. I realized that this article can now finally appear.
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Appearance
On social networks and TV we see very beautiful people and want to be like them. However, often behind the photo of a beauty there is high-quality makeup and a photo editor, but in life she has a very simple appearance, an overgrown manicure and dry hair. Of course, there are always prettier people, but there are also those whose appearance is inferior to yours. Therefore, no matter how hackneyed this phrase may sound, do not compare yourself to others.
Other people are just as self-focused as you are. If you were cut off a couple of extra centimeters at the hairdresser, no one will notice, and even if they notice, they will forget almost immediately. No one is perfect, so it's time to stop worrying about trifles. It is much more important that the image as a whole is harmonious: clothes of the right color and fit, clean shoes, refreshing makeup.
In addition, appearance is a fickle advantage. In the morning we are all less attractive, and time spares no one. Find your strengths and focus on them.
Recommendations
- Prayer is suitable for believers, because even scientists have found that when a person prays, sound vibrations make the space harmonious and calm. And if you feel peace and quiet joy, then this will be the best treatment not only for the soul, but also for the body.
- If you have completely different views on religion, you can try meditation. From previous articles, you may have noticed how often I recommend resorting to it, and for good reason, because these methods really work, both on the physical level and on the mental level. You can read more here.
- Start fighting bad habits, especially those that destroy your health and kill time. With their help, you will not get rid of obsession, but, on the contrary, will strengthen it, up to the occurrence of prolonged depression, affective disorders, insomnia and panic attacks.
Relationships with people
It can be very difficult to understand another person. The fact is that the brains of different people can vary greatly in volume and number of zones responsible for certain processes. This means that your interlocutor may perceive information completely differently. Even if you hear the same phrase, you can draw completely different conclusions.
However, respect is important to everyone. Try to step into the person's shoes as they share their thoughts and concerns. Listen carefully, even if he annoys you. You will definitely see a return. Just do this experiment: shift the focus of attention from yourself to someone else. It will no longer be possible to start driving as before.
What do we have to do
Getting rid of obsessive thoughts is possible, although not so easy.
First of all, a person needs to realize the very fact of their presence. It is very important to isolate exactly the thought that is obsessive, because there are also rational ideas. The main ally in the process of getting rid of obsessions is logic, rationality
If you use this tool correctly, you can quickly eliminate your fear.
Obsessions significantly complicate a person’s life.
A significant portion of people believe that human ideas are their own product. They appear by the will of a person, since he himself comes up with them, thinks about them, and analyzes them. However, they are largely the result of the action of external and internal factors on a person. For example, thoughts of death arise when you lose close relatives. That is, they appear not at will, but under influence. This alone puts a person in a certain dependence, and one must learn to control it, not allow one’s thinking to be completely captured and make it driven, dependent on external influence.
In addition, it is important to realize that a person is able to observe thoughts, evaluate and comment on what is happening in the head, condemn emerging ideas and ignore what is currently interfering. A person’s volitional actions are above the thinking process; they can exist in parallel, be aware of themselves outside their thoughts and separate themselves from ideas and obsessions
This makes it possible to realize control over one’s thinking, which already puts a person a step higher and makes him the master of his life. This fact can be called energy, soul or something else, but the key fact remains - a person can control his ideas through volitional efforts.
More to read:
How to remove fear
The second step to getting rid of obsessive negative thoughts is:
- stop fighting them;
- resist and try to get rid of them;
- brush it off and forget.
Very often a person thinks that if he banishes the thought on his own, it will stop bothering him. Nevertheless, the practice of getting rid of thoughts already brings a person back and the obsessions come again. If you set a goal to get rid of them, then they will be present in a person’s mind even more often and paralyze his mental activity even more strongly.
By resisting the disease, the person himself gives negative facts an even greater emotional charge and nourishment. This increases internal tension, creates conflict, and begins to disturb even more, intensifying symptoms, up to the appearance of physical discomfort - heart pain, headache. If you don’t fight your thoughts, you can save a lot of energy that doesn’t receive adequate returns in return.
You need to watch your thoughts, even if they provoke fears and anxieties. We can say that a person enters into a certain dialogue with them, giving them a moment to speak out, but at the same time keeping his positions under control. Learning to live and control obsessions is a great skill.
In the process of getting rid of a problem, emotions will be the best assistant. A person needs to do the following:
- observe the emotions and feelings that arise that accompany annoying thoughts, even if they bring unpleasant sensations;
- do not try to get rid of emotions, even if they have a negative connotation. The appearance of such thoughts is a completely natural process; only rosy and pleasant thoughts cannot arise in the human head;
- experience emotions fully, to the end. Gradually, at the subconscious level, a transformation of emotions will occur, and they will become weaker and will not be able to control the human psyche.
If you need to get rid of obsessive ideas or fears, you should not do this yourself. A person needs competent support from a psychologist who will teach him how to control obsessive thoughts and resist them. Psychologists note that there is no need to hope for a quick result, because then the situation could happen again. You should not trust and tell about your condition to those who do not have permission to provide practical psychological assistance - this can cause harm.
Try not to fight ideas, but learn to live with them. This is more important than simply forbidding yourself to think about something. Change your perception of obsessions, but leave them alone - after a while they will disappear on their own.
Self-realization
Things don't always go smoothly at work or school, and not everything works out the first time. In such a situation, it is worth reminding yourself that the more attempts, the higher the likelihood of success. In life, it often turns out that it is not the most talented, but the hardworking, who wins. Make yourself an action plan. When an annoying situation occurs, look at your plan. This way you will remember why you started. The plan must contain:
- Strategic (long-term) goals you want to achieve. For example, become a leader.
- Tactical (short-term) goals - how you will achieve strategic goals. For example, fulfill the sales plan for two years, ask for a raise, etc.
- Fallback options when tactical goals don't work. Example: leave for competitors if they don’t give you a promotion.
You always need to have an option to retreat, then there will be less reason to be nervous. A plan is a great answer to the question of how to stop being driven.
Environment
This is perhaps the most uncontrollable aspect of your life. You cannot force the rain to stop falling, the traffic jam to clear up and time to turn back. Therefore, the only and surest option is to score.
When something unexpected happens, breathe out and remember that this is not forever. Moreover, if things are not going well today, something good will happen soon. This is one of the laws of statistics - the desire for the average level. It means that a negative deviation will definitely be replaced by a positive one in order to restore balance.
You should never be upset about money and things that are accidentally lost or damaged. You will always earn more, plus this is a reason to buy something more attractive.
Why does obsessive-compulsive disorder occur?
The obsessive state of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) occurs in cases where the mind is unable to suppress impulses to take any action. At the same time, they crowd out all other thoughts, even though they are meaningless or groundless at the moment. The persistence of these impulses is so great that they cause fear. The development of obsessive-phobic manifestations and obsessive neurosis is influenced by biological and psychological factors to varying degrees.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder has different manifestations, but they all boil down to the main symptoms of this nature:
- repetitive actions, rituals;
- regular checks of your own actions;
- cyclical thoughts;
- fixation on thoughts about violence, religion or the intimate side of life;
- an irresistible desire to count numbers or fear of them.
In children
OCD also occurs in children. As a rule, the causes of development are psychological trauma. Neurosis develops in a child against the background of fear or punishment; this condition can be provoked by unfair treatment of them by teachers or parents. Separation from father or mother at an early age has a strong impact. The impetus for the obsessive state is a transfer to another school or a move. A number of factors in the field of family relationships that form a disorder in a child have been described:
- Dissatisfaction with the gender of the child. In this case, qualities that are unusual for him are imposed on him, this causes high anxiety.
- Late child. Doctors have discovered a connection between the mother's age and the risk of developing psychosis in the child. If a woman is over 36 years old during pregnancy, then the risk of anxiety in the baby necessarily increases.
- Conflicts within the family. Often the negativity from quarrels affects the child, and he feels guilty. According to statistics, in families where a man actively takes part in upbringing, neuroses in children occur much less frequently.
- Single-parent family. The child lacks one half of the behavior model. The absence of a stereotype provokes the development of neurosis.
In adults
In the older generation, the occurrence of obsessive-compulsive disorder is influenced by biological and psychological reasons. The first appear, according to doctors, due to disturbances in the metabolism of the neurotransmitter serotonin. It is generally accepted that it regulates the level of anxiety by communicating with nerve cell receptors. The influence of living conditions and ecology is also taken into account, but the connection has not yet been scientifically proven.
Psychological factors manifest themselves in certain life shocks and stressful situations. These cannot be called the causes of neurosis - rather, they become a trigger for those people who have a genetic predisposition to the development of obsessive thoughts and fears. It is impossible to identify such hereditary characteristics of a person in advance.
Relationship with partner
In this case, we will talk about a healthy relationship when both people take responsibility for their actions. Here you must understand that since a person is with you, it means that he has already chosen you. In other words, you suit him, he values you. Memorize this as an axiom and always remember in moments of weakness.
On the topic of how to stop being driven into relationships, the following points can be highlighted:
Who is susceptible to OCD?
Most often, OCD affects sensitive people who are not inclined to show aggression, who have an internal conflict between “what I want and what I don’t want.” It is the basis for the emergence of neurosis. The disorder appears between the ages of 10 and 30.
Healthy people can perform rituals, but if they do them for more than one hour a day, and non-compliance with them causes great discomfort, we may be talking about making a diagnosis.
A large number of popular movie stars suffer from one form or another of OCD, spending part of their lives in anxiety due to unfulfilled rules and rituals. The famous Leonardo DiCaprio played the main character with OCD disorder in the film “The Aviator,” and the actor himself used to walk through doorways a certain number of times and avoid stepping on cracks in the asphalt.
Footballer David Beckham suffers from OCD, he likes everything to be symmetrical and systematized.
Actress Charlize Theron cannot sleep if her closet is not in perfect order, and if everything is in place, then she is disturbed by thoughts of the disorder of her friends.
As a result of treatment, many manage to reduce their anxiety levels and get rid of rituals. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your condition and isolate yourself within walls, trying to hide it from everyone.
Anticipate the problem
It is always easier to take preventative measures, while stopping to push yourself when the process has already begun is difficult. Against the general background of failures, any trifle seems significant.
Monitor your nervous system. Enter the following into your routine:
Re-read information that is useful and inspiring to you from time to time. Work on yourself. You can do it.
Source: fb.ru
What is the danger
I once came across an interesting comparison. Imagine your mind is like a garden. You look after him. By planting seeds of useful and beautiful plants - positive thoughts, you will receive a rich harvest. As soon as you stop caring for your garden, it will be filled with weeds - negative thoughts. You will no longer have a wonderful harvest.
Our thoughts shape our reality. What we think and feel is what we end up getting.
Destructive thinking causes us great harm.
- Attracts negativity into life . Negative thoughts attract bad events into our lives. This is the essence of the law of attraction. If we think bad things, they will definitely happen.
- Breaks the psyche . Our thoughts give rise to emotions. Negative thinking causes us to worry, worry, fear, and feel guilty. It aggravates existing problems and distorts the perception of reality. A person who is in the grip of destructive thoughts for a very long time becomes depressed. He develops various nervous disorders. There is a destruction of oneself from within.
- It undermines health . People who tend to think negatively often have health problems. And the reason lies precisely in the way of thinking. Scientists have proven that many diseases are psychosomatic in nature, that is, they depend specifically on the internal state of a person and his emotions. For example, as soon as a person gets very nervous, herpes appears on his lips.
It would seem that these are just thoughts, but how much they can harm us. To prevent negative thinking from driving us into depression, let's learn to manage it.
