7 Sure Ways to Develop Emotional Stability

Emotional stability should no longer elude you. If you are trying to ground yourself and find balance in your approach to life, problems and even your daily happiness, you have come to the right place.

Emotional stability does not mean that you never get angry or angry, but it does mean that you have what it takes to process those emotions and see them for what they are: responses to your thoughts about a situation or circumstance.

According to Science Direct, emotionally stable people "react less to negative stimuli and are therefore less frustrated, less distracted, and more confident in their abilities."

You recognize that things are happening for you, not to you, and you want to continue to improve your ability to cope and manage life in a way that serves you rather than takes from you.

If you want to improve your emotional stability, start with these 7 things.

Definition of emotional stability

Emotional resilience is the strength to push through the storm and still keep the sail steady. Living in the era of technological revolution, every ten years we adapt to changes that were not previously in our lives. From strict digitization to the 24/7 influence of social media, it is natural to feel emotionally attached from time to time.

Emotional resilience is an art of living that is associated with self-belief, self-compassion, and improved cognition. This is a way in which we can perceive adversity as “temporary” and continue to grow through pain and suffering.

Important! Broadly speaking, emotional resilience means moving away from a stressful situation and not letting it affect our internal motivation.

When we are resilient, we not only adapt to stress and disappointments, we also develop awareness to avoid actions that could lead us to such situations. Consider the following example:

A reliable employee, a loving husband and an excellent manager. Mr. A starts his work on time and is focused. He strives to learn from his mistakes, never procrastinates, and therefore never misses a deadline to grow like many of his friends do. He is happy for what he has been able to achieve so far. Mr. A is emotionally stable.

Functions and role

The emotional state (in psychology, this definition implies the obligatory presence of feelings and emotional excitement) is an integral component of the life process, which performs a whole range of necessary functions.

Adaptive function

The adaptive function of the emotional state is manifested in providing the individual with the opportunity to adapt to new circumstances and environmental conditions.

At the same time, protective mechanisms are launched in the body, allowing a person to survive this period of life, maintaining physical and mental health. For example, to arrange your life as quickly as possible after moving to a new place of residence, or to begin professional or educational activities.

Communication function

The implementation of the communicative function occurs through a person’s communication with the people around him. Using the gift of speech, an individual has the opportunity to express his emotional state by talking about the presence of positive or negative feelings.

A distinctive feature of the communicative function is that it is two-way. In the course of his life, a person constantly encounters situations where the quality of his psycho-emotional state is affected by communication with other people.

Reflective function

The reflective function of the emotional state is characterized by the fact that, due to the totality of emotional experiences and the amount of surrounding information, a person receives a generalized assessment of certain events, people, as well as their current activities.

Incentive function

The incentive function of the psycho-emotional state determines the direction and motivation of the actions of one person or group of people that can lead to the achievement of a common goal. Without this function, it is impossible to overcome obstacles and further progress in personal development.


The implementation of a preferred function occurs in situations where a person has a conflict of several motives for performing certain actions, among which it is necessary to choose the most profitable option.


The regulatory function of the emotional state ensures control and lability of the emerging relationships between the individual and the people around him.

The process of implementing this mechanism is influenced by the level of public culture, moral norms and mores characteristic of a particular society or area of ​​residence of a person.

Elements of Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience has three elements - it is something we can build resilience on or work to improve upon. The three elements include:

Physical elements

Incorporating physical strength, energy, improving health and vitality.

Psychological elements

Aspects such as attention and focus, self-esteem , self-confidence , emotional awareness, regulation, self-expression and the ability to think and reason.

Social elements

Interpersonal relationships (work, partner, children, parents, friends, society, etc.). Group conformity, attractiveness, communication, and cooperation.

When to worry

Emotional instability is not a disease in most cases. It is characterized by the following manifestations:

  • excessive irritability (“crazy” over trifles)
  • outbursts (state of passion)
  • mood swings, sometimes for no apparent reason, often unconscious
  • low level of control over one's feelings and behavior

These manifestations in most cases have no connection with stress factors or weather changes. People who observe an emotionally unstable person seem to have a lack of self-control. With emotional instability, a person tries to find a “hook” that will allow them to throw out their emotions. They have a negative attitude towards criticism, do not tolerate objections, do not try to respect and accept other people's opinions, always insisting on their own.

Emotional Resilience Training Options

Resilience is the ability to maintain competent performance in the face of life's major "stressors."

Emotional resilience can be developed through appropriate knowledge, training and motivation . Whether you're facing dangers in the workplace , navigating a tumultuous relationship, or navigating the challenges of raising a little rebel at home, with emotional resilience you can not only cope effectively with the situation, you also protect yourself from emotional devastation.

An important aspect of building emotional resilience is recognizing that it is inextricably linked to other areas of life. For example, becoming more resilient at work will also make you resilient in your personal relationships, and vice versa. Regardless of whether training is aimed at improving in a specific area, it must show its impact on other aspects of life. The Resilience Training Program aims to increase emotional resilience by building:


The ability to tune into our feelings, internal conflicts and perception of the world. Through self-awareness, we gain a deeper understanding of how our feelings contribute to our actions.

Instead of seeking outside help or blaming the world for our suffering, self-awareness gives us the courage to look within ourselves for answers. By making us more in tune with our inner world, building self-awareness helps us become more capable and aware.


Resilience training helps a person develop consistency and a willingness to keep trying. Whether it's dealing with external stressors or processing internal conflicts, persistence supports intrinsic motivation.

Emotional control

People with higher levels of emotion and self-control are able to redirect themselves and manipulate their feelings. They are less stressed.

Flexible thinking

Flexible thinking is an important aspect of mental health that contributes to anyone's personal and professional success.

It is a powerful social skill that involves optimism, adaptability, rationality and positive thinking. A person who has acquired or developed these skills through training or experience will definitely be more emotionally stable and balanced in life.

Interpersonal relationships

Having good personal relationships is a prerequisite for emotional stability. If we have the ability to build strong interpersonal connections on a professional or personal level, we have already taken one step forward towards a viable life.

Jenny Phillips, PhD in Social Sciences and Education from the University of Ontario, mentioned in one of her blogs that building strong interpersonal relationships broadens our perspective—it changes the way we perceive the world and ourselves.

Important! We are social creatures, and being surrounded by people gives us the strength to overcome problems, endure them and grow from them. To build emotional resilience more broadly, we must be able to improve our existing interpersonal relationships and be open to building new ones.

Characteristics of signs

Any emotions without exception have a number of common characteristics and signs that help distinguish them from feelings:

  1. Pointlessness. It is impossible to predict what will cause a storm of joy or a flurry of angry words. Emotions are “discharged” in a similar way.
  2. Course on other emotions. Emotional outbursts cling to one another like the rings of a chain. Objects and items serve as a catalyst for triggering a specific sensation.
  3. Inversion. Every emotion has an opposite. Thus, joy balances sadness, admiration balances disdain, tenderness balances disgust.

Stress management and emotional stability

Coping with stress, or better said, managing stress effectively directly contributes to increased resilience. The whole idea of ​​emotional resilience revolves around how well we are able to cope.

Getting caught up in life's daily stressors can be a big reason why we lose our emotional stability. We become more sensitive, overly reactive and emotionally unstable. Even a small change in plans can send us into a state of anxiety and panic.

Research has shown that resilient people can cope with stress more effectively. They can bounce back from any stressful situation with positive energy and confidence, and they are more likely to learn from traumatic encounters rather than become overwhelmed by them.

Learn to plan your next day.

My friend often says that anyone can process an order, but only a genius can handle chaos. If you are a genius or a master of improvisation, then planning is not your thing. But if you are an ordinary person, not endowed with extraordinary capabilities, then the habit of planning your next day will come in handy.

No matter how you look at it, improv is a constant stress that keeps you on edge all day long. Anyone who is even a little afraid of uncertainty should avoid improvisation until he becomes proficient in everything he does, because uncertainty is the source of panic and fear.

Don’t believe those who say that living according to a plan is boring and the choice of mentally weak people. It is not true. This is the choice of professionals who put life productivity first and, as a rule, manage their time effectively.

Emotional Resilience: How to Protect Your Mental Health (book)

Dr Harry Barry, a GP and expert in cognitive behavioral therapy, has published some of his remarkable findings on emotional resilience in the book Emotional Resilience: How to Protect Your Mental Health.

Originally released in May 2021, this book is one of the richest and most popular texts on emotional resilience to date. Dr. Barry, using relevant concepts and practical examples, defines emotional resilience in his book as “the building blocks of life.”

He says the reason some people cope better with stress than others is because of their strength. Exposure to toxic stress (aka burnout) causes intense emotions and our coping mechanisms are immediately used to manage the situation.

Important! Dr Barry says resilient people are better and quicker at using these coping strategies and can therefore adapt better to challenges.

Additionally, he mentioned that while some people are born with better resilience and emotional balance than others, with the right guidance, we are all capable of creating ourselves as emotionally resilient and psychologically mature individuals.

The book is a benchmark in the field of applied psychology and mental health interventions from which all of us can benefit. The book also serves as a training tool for those who want to strengthen their resistance abilities.

The basis of the intervention strategies mentioned in the book is based on three concepts:

  1. Cognition - how we think.
  2. Perception is how we analyze and evaluate things.
  3. Action is how we react to it.

The principles mentioned in the book attempt to improve the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves, and ultimately seeks to help the reader develop as an emotionally resilient person.

Emotional resilience, Dr. Barry suggests, can be developed by:

  1. Recognizing the fact that our thoughts influence our actions.
  2. Recognizing stress and wanting to deal with it effectively.
  3. Be open to change and flexible, adapting to new situations.
  4. By accepting the truth that changing how we respond to stress can make a big difference.
  5. Self-compassion.

5) Listen to what you like.

Emotional stability is enhanced when we pay attention to that little voice in our head or that feeling in our gut that tells us to move in a certain direction.

Instead of being dramatic about making difficult decisions, you can use your intuition to guide your choices and help you learn as you go.

Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D. speaks to the importance of being able to differentiate between irrational emotions—such as anxiety, when our emotions mistake a situation for danger—and “true gut feelings.”

He calls this “authentic intuition,” which is a survival mechanism built into each of us and is inherently trustworthy where our emotions need to be handled more carefully.

People with strong emotional stability trust themselves and their intuition and do not need the approval of others to move forward in their lives.

While this can be one of the hardest parts of letting go of old ways of doing things, it's worth learning what you can do if you put some thought into it and allow yourself to discover what your life could be like.

Emotional stability doesn't make life better on its own, but it does contribute to a more fulfilling and understandable lifestyle that makes life more enjoyable and makes it easier to manage the ups and downs of a person's emotional train.

Dr. Harry Barry's Key Findings

With over 35 years of experience as a therapist and psychologist, Dr. Barry brings us his thoughts on depression, anxiety, and other psychological conditions . However, this book on building emotional resilience is his greatest contribution to the field of mental health.

Dr. Barry has divided his book, Emotional Resilience: How to Protect Your Mental Health, into three parts. All of his findings are based on three skills that he believes are key to building emotional resilience. These skill sets include:

Personal skills

The skills needed to manage our personal lives are vital elements such as self-acceptance, empathy, self-esteem, thinking, reasoning, problem solving, managing anxiety and frustration.

During his extensive career as a therapist, the author has encountered numerous cases of anxiety, depression, low productivity and stress disorders, and he attributes all of these anomalies to the lack of these personal skills. Unconditional self-acceptance, according to Dr. Barry, is key to building emotional resilience and strength.

Social skills

Social skills have been defined as successful interactions with oneself and the environment. This is the ability to initiate and maintain long-term interpersonal relationships.

"Man is a social being."


Thanks to communication, contact comfort and cooperation, we coexist with other people in a close society.

Harry Barry mentioned that improving the way we interact with others, perceive their problems and adapt to them can help build our emotional resilience and allow us to positively resist exhaustion.

His activities to improve social skills include:

  1. Developing and practicing empathy in everyday life—at work and at home.
  2. Reading and understanding social cues—both verbal and nonverbal communication.
  3. Office of Social Anxiety .
  4. Harnessing the power of self-expression.

Life skills

Life skills are a seamless combination of all the social, personal and cognitive skills with which we are endowed. It includes the ability to resolve conflict peacefully, the ability to cope with stress, and the ability to develop an ideal work-life balance.

By refining the skill sets that fall under this category, Dr. Barry provided a degree of emotional stability and civility. This is a relatively broader area, covering much of our personality, and Barry, with simple and relevant examples, has made it easy for his readers to apply in their daily lives.

Dr. Barry's Suggested Actions

To improve the above-mentioned life skills that directly increase emotional resilience, he mentioned activities such as:


With practical examples that readers can relate to more easily, self-acceptance teaches us how to be more compassionate, considerate, and respectful of ourselves.

Eliminating Procrastination

Dr. Barry recognizes procrastination as one of the main enemies of emotional stability.

With simple tips like letting go of the desire to be perfect, using regular intervals when working long hours, and breaking down goals into smaller sub-goals, this set of actions is specifically designed for those who struggle with it.


The manifestation of anxiety, stress and depression is often physical in nature - with symptoms such as unexplained headaches, insomnia, palpitations, etc.

Through Acceptance, we can directly face our problems and try to change them. There are no restrictions and no barriers to acceptance, every thought that we perceive as disturbing is welcomed and considered.

All that is required is unconditional acceptance and a willingness to fight them.

Finding balance

Emotional resilience is the trajectory of healthy functioning following a highly adverse incident.

In the section on developing life skills, Dr. Barry noted that once we have acquired the skills to cope with the stresses of everyday life, we are more emotionally resilient.

To find the perfect balance in life, we can:

  1. Keep a daily schedule where we can write down our tasks for the day and act as per the plan.
  2. Keep a list of priorities and see what the essence of our partners, work, parents, personal hygiene and social life are.
  3. Come back and reset priorities as often as we need.
  4. Spend some quality time on those on your priority list.
  5. Engage in active communication with your partner from time to time to discuss life's challenges and confront problems rather than avoid them.

Concept and meaning

Emotions are elementary experiences. They can occur under the influence of external or internal stimuli. The nature of the manifestation depends on the degree of satisfaction of one’s own desires and expectations.

Emotions play a huge role. Depends on your emotional state:

  • career advancement;
  • development of personal interests;
  • communication with family;
  • physical health.

If a person is depressed, health problems may begin and physical activity will decrease.

How to Create Emotional Resilience: 5 Exercises

“The secret to a healthy mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and sincerely.”


Building emotional stability includes:

  1. Self-acceptance.
  2. Improving stress management strategies.
  3. Building self-esteem.
  4. Be attentive and focused on the present.
  5. Express emotions wisely.
  6. React to stress in a way that does not cause harm to yourself or others.

Here are some exercises to help you get closer to emotional stability in your daily life. Whether you're struggling or experiencing some form of toxic stress, these simple everyday actions are helpful tools for building your resilience.

Resilience through the power of positivity

Take a few minutes to list any 5 thoughts that are bothering you right now. Write them down on a piece of paper or in your device's notepad. Next to the column in which you listed negative thoughts, try replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones.

By simply replacing thoughts on paper, you can see how things can actually be perceived differently.

Some examples of thought replacement are shown in the table below:

Negative thoughtsAlternative Positive Thoughts
1. This will never go away1. I’ve already had this happen.
2. I'm losing control of my life.2. I can take back control.
3. I can never move on3. I have to wait a little, then I can move on
4. I won't be able to make friends with anyone.4. I will try to make friends with some people.
5. It’s better to remain silent so as not to be judged5. It's worth trying to talk

Resilience through Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can develop. When we learn to appreciate what we have, instead of complaining about what we don't have or what we've lost, we become more resilient than before.

We can keep journal where we list all the things we are grateful for, even in times of stress. Filling the journal columns will be a gentle reminder to us of all the good things in life. A weekly log might look something like this:

I am thankfulMonTueWedThuFriSatSun
I have something many people don't have
5 goals I achieved this week
5 people who made me happy this week
my family is the best because
5 good things that happened to me this week
Note to self:

Resilience through self-awareness

Essentially, self-awareness is knowing the ABC's of our mind , where A is the cause that led to the current situation, B is the behavior or the way we have chosen to respond to it, and C is the effect. what our actions and emotions can bring.

AB-C identification makes a person more resilient and enables one to cope effectively with adversity. A simple daily exercise to practice:

StressorsCausesBehavior (how I reacted to it)Consequence (what was the effect of my reaction)

Emotional stability of self-esteem

Below are ten statements that define you. Rate each statement from 0 to 5, where “0” means “Strongly disagree” and “5” means “Strongly agree.”

StatementRating 0 - completely disagree 5 - completely agree
1. I trust myself012345
2. I am proud of my achievements012345
3. I have the strength to overcome difficulties.012345
4. I have people who love me.012345
5. I can handle criticism012345
6. I respect myself and others012345
7. I enjoy being part of society.012345
8. I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses.012345
9. I focus on solutions more than problems.012345
10. I love my life012345
Total score

Norm points

0-15Low resilience (excessive sensitivity to stress, poor coping skills.
16-30Moderate resilience (the ability to deal with stress and bounce back is there, but can still be improved with training and practice).
31-50High emotional stability.

Simple Meditation Exercises to Manage Stress

Courtney Clark, in her famous Ted talk on emotional resilience, mentioned that emotional resilience begins when we are able to use those coping mechanisms that we know exist but have never used before.

Guided meditation and mindfulness practices were positively associated with emotional resilience. The emotional turmoil that occurs after a stressful experience can be purposefully resolved by practicing simple meditation every day.

Emotions as signals

There is one more point worthy of attention. As mentioned earlier, emotions are directly related to instincts and needs. These are guides that point a person to what he needs, to his needs.

The emotional stability of an individual helps not only to cope with stressful situations, but also to realize the completeness of one’s own satisfaction, the correctness of the direction in which certain actions are carried out.

Let's say a person experiences constant anger. What does this mean? About the chronic dissatisfaction of his needs. What is needed in this situation? Abstracting from everything, determine your need, and then take care of its satisfaction. The problem will be solved, the external irritant will go away, and with it the anger will disappear.

Is there no skill in recognizing needs, or is the person simply accustomed to the fact that someone else takes responsibility for their satisfaction (due to upbringing)? Or maybe he even considers it shameful to experience any of them? In this case, irresponsibility and lack of awareness in relation to one’s needs lead to the Karpman triangle: Persecutor → Victim → Rescuer. This is a real dramatic game. The Rescuer, for example, is not at all aware of his needs, but he “knows” what the Victim needs, and therefore “does” good to her instead of dealing with his personal life.

The most responsible position involves taking responsibility for personal needs and respecting other people's personal boundaries.

Emotional stability theory

Resilience theory has been an interesting area of ​​research in the last few decades. In short, resilience theory, which covers a vast arena of empirical evidence that has been provided by psychologists, sociologists, neuroscientists, and social workers, is a collection of strengths that a person exhibits when dealing with unpleasant stress.

Resilience theory has encouraged individuals and professionals to focus more on strengths rather than abnormalities that cause stress. Emotional resilience theory may still be in its infancy, and there is plenty of room for many new ideas to be incorporated into it.

Noteworthy Research Findings on Resilience Theory

Rutter's theory

Professor Michael Rutter, a child psychiatrist in London who has devoted himself to studying resilience theory since the 1970s, stated that:

  1. Resilience is an interactive process that involves exposure to toxic stress that has a relatively positive outcome for the person experiencing it.
  2. He found that short-term exposure to risks such as temporary unemployment, natural disaster or separation can act as a trigger and influence the strength of resilience.
  3. His findings support the possibility of genetic influence on the degree of resistance with which a person is born. Why some people are more resistant at birth than others is, according to his findings, due to genetic predisposition.

Garmezy's theory

Norman Garmezy, a research originator and clinical psychologist at the University of Minnesota, based his empirical findings on emotional stability theory in 1991. His allegations were based on the fact that:

  1. Individual differences play an important role in determining the level of emotional stability.
  2. A person's community, family, and social environment influence his temperamental abilities and shape the way he perceives and responds to stress.
  3. Interventions should address all individual and environmental factors. Turning to anyone will not help in creating an overall strength of resilience.

Werner's theory

Emmy Werner's theory of resilience was primarily focused on children, but its findings are considered groundbreaking in the fields of modern social and applied psychology.

  1. Werner was the first to determine that resilience depends on age and gender. That boys and girls of different ages have different levels of resilience has been one of the main focuses of her research.
  2. She came up with the idea that sustainability is variable. This changes over time. In different stressful situations, we may respond with different levels of resilience.

Ungar's theory

Dr. Michael Ungar, founder of the International Center for Resilience Research in Canada and a recognized family therapist for over 25 years, has formulated the concept of the “Seven Tensions of Resilience”:

  1. Material resources.
  2. Relationship.
  3. Identity.
  4. Autonomy and control.
  5. Social justice.
  6. Cultural fit.
  7. Cohesion.

Important! Ungar suggested that these 7 forces that test emotional stability are present in all cultures, but how different people respond to the same experience depends on its cultural beliefs and manifestations.

How to recognize yourself and others

The main transmitter of emotional states is facial expression. Just look at him and it will become clear what is happening inside a person.

The seven facial expressions are universal and recognizable. These include joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, disgust, contempt.

They can quickly change and even combine. For example, surprise and joy merge into a single whole if something amazing happens.

It is important to be able to diagnose negative conditions. When a person is happy or peaceful, it is difficult to quarrel with him, but when he is irritated or angry, he himself will look for a reason to quarrel.

A specific ES is indicated by facial expression, posture, and some behavioral features. During joy, the postures are open, the face is friendly, there is a smile. In the case of irritation or anger, the opposite is true.

Emotional resilience in social work

Emotional resilience is facilitated by factors that lie within us, factors that lie within the organization in which we work, and educational factors. When it comes to resilience in a profession, it is usually two-dimensional - the first dimension is the experience of adverse or stressful situations, and the second is coping with them skillfully.

There is no doubt that social work is a job that requires a great deal of emotional intelligence and empathy . Due to the nature of their work, social workers often have to hide or suppress their reactions to dominant authority or the enormous workload for which they are not paid.

Doing this for many years is undoubtedly stressful and can take a toll on workers' resilience and emotional tenacity.

Important! With a huge emphasis on the present, realistic expectations and commitment to the community, social workers can maintain their emotional stability during difficult times.

Simple stress tips for social workers

Louis Grant and Craig Thompson, in a survey of how social workers successfully manage their resilience, offered the following tips for managing stress at work:

  1. Join and be part of the community.
  2. Effective time management.
  3. Emotional awareness and empathy.
  4. Non-judgmental attitude.
  5. Separate spaces for work and family.
  6. Regular mindful and meditative practices.
  7. A positive and hopeful outlook.
  8. Proactive and willing to learn from past mistakes.

Develop a sense of humor.

It may seem strange, but a sense of humor is an integral part of your emotional stability and well-being. It doesn't matter whether you are a top manager or a florist, you need to know how to relax and let off some steam every now and then. Otherwise, your mind will never be able to achieve emotional stability.

The best and cheapest way to increase your mental strength and protect yourself from everyday stress and conflict is humor. An appropriate joke or anecdote or even a fake smile can fend off an emotional attack. This way, you will get out of the situation and stump the aggressive person in no time. I try to joke as much as possible, especially at work. It is my ideal shield that helps me deal with everyday negativity with my head held high.

Emotional resilience in the workplace

Increasing employees' emotional stability can directly impact their overall productivity and help them maintain a better quality of life.

Research has shown that a significant proportion of workers who either quit or voluntarily leave their jobs do so because of personal stressors, such as terminal illness or the loss of a loved one.

Today, organizations are taking several successful initiatives to assess the emotional state of employees and managers and provide training to improve their resilience.

Developing resilience at work can seem difficult when the stress affecting job performance is not actually related to the job itself (such as conflict with coworkers, bullying, or personal stress).

While there is no denying that increasing sustainability is not a quick fix that starts working immediately, here are a few ways that can help professionals achieve sustainability in a professional installation.

3) Stand up and stand out.

In this life it is important to be yourself. We run into problems when we try to be different people or meet others' expectations.

When you stand up proud of yourself, you gain a level of balance that many can only dream of.

Emotional stability improves because you don't allow drama about yourself or your body, your thoughts or feelings to cloud your judgment of your abilities and abilities to live the life you want.

According to Whitbourne, when you take off your disguise and become proud of who you really are, a number of positive benefits await you:

“You will feel more satisfied with yourself, more satisfied with your job (if it is related to the workplace), more engaged in your relationships, less anxious and depressed, more socially supported and higher self-esteem.”

When you feel small because of who you are, you deny the world the opportunity to know the real you.

Development of emotional stability

Developing emotional stability is about recognizing our inner capabilities. The only thing that differentiates an emotionally resilient person from an emotionally fragile person is how the person chooses to “react.”

Emotional resilience doesn't mean stress won't affect us or loss won't overwhelm us, it just means we still have the vision to stand up straight and keep moving forward.

What makes a person resilient?

Emotionally stable person:

  1. Aware of his thoughts, emotions and inner potential.
  2. Thinks before reacting.
  3. Patient, understanding and willing to adapt.
  4. Focused on finding solutions.
  5. Expresses emotions in a socially acceptable way.
  6. Does not incite negative emotions.
  7. Able to create and maintain long-term relationships.
  8. There is no shame in asking for help when they need it most.
  9. Believes in resolving conflicts through discussion.

Simple Ways to Build Resilience

  1. Be persistent. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
  2. Maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  3. Communicate often.
  4. Accept criticism.
  • Relax and breathe.
      Meditate often.
  • Practice deep breathing when you feel exhausted.
  • Appreciate nature.
  • Develop a hobby.
      Explore your passions.
  • Spend time doing what you love to do.
  • Invest in education - books, positive thinking, inspiring stories, etc.
  • Find balance.
      Be grateful for the little things that make you smile.
  • Devote time to your family - parents, partner and children.
  • Chat with old friends.
  • Attend social meetings at work.
  • Stress and grief are unchanging truths. But the benefit of meeting them is that they give us the opportunity to challenge ourselves and get out of our comfort zone. Resilience produces positive energy, which in turn produces positive results.

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    2) Stop hiding your shortcomings.

    If you want to become more emotionally stable, you need to start accepting who you are now and stop trying to fix everything you think is wrong with yourself.

    According to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, professor emeritus of psychological and brain sciences, the need to mask is a form of “emotional labor.”

    This can cause you to engage in “superficial acting” so that you can fit in with those around you.

    Are you all right. The sooner you realize that you are perfect just the way you are, the sooner you will be more able to focus on the things that really matter in your life.

    What size pants you are or the length of your hair does not define you. Only you can define you. So why not start by finding a new definition for your life and stop focusing on what you can't do.

    If you want to be more emotionally stable, you need to stop criticizing yourself. Of course, everyone has shortcomings, but not everyone pays attention to them.

    Instead, it's easier to just admit that you have flaws, big or small, and move on with your life.

    Instead of trying to fix them, which can cause you a lot of anxiety, focus on the things that are going right in your life and that you enjoy.

    Emotionally stable people do not allow themselves to be destroyed by what they cannot control, and we cannot control our shortcomings.

    It's better to just look forward and find something to celebrate in your life.


    Emotions reflect a person’s direct attitude towards objects and situations. Their expression and direction are an important component of the process of understanding the surrounding world and one’s own state. Increased emotional lability is a violation of the intensity of affective experiences. It occurs when there is an imbalance in the processes of excitation and inhibition in the nervous system with a predominant shift towards hyperactivation. Neural signal transmission accelerates, focus decreases. The severity of the emotional response becomes inadequate to the strength of the stimulus. At the same time, the content and direction of the experiences correspond to the situation. For example, a short separation from a loved one causes an attack of sobbing and crying that is uncontrollable.


    Typical causes of human emotional instability:

    • long lasting emotional stress

    It, in turn, can be caused by:

    - psychological trauma

    - constant failures in life and stress

    - excess or, conversely, lack of attention from other people

    - constant prohibitions from parents, too strict upbringing or, conversely, permissiveness

    • somatic disorders

    These disorders may have the following causes:

    - deficiency of certain vitamins and minerals in the body (children begin to study poorly, become inattentive, and behave excessively emotionally)

    - imbalance of hormones (this occurs in many women, the reasons may be different)

    - changes in the balance of hormones associated with age (recorded in women over 40 years old, associated with menopause)

    If the reason belongs to the first group described above, you need to see a psychotherapist or psychologist. If emotional instability is caused by some reason from the second group, you need to add the missing component (vitamin, etc.) to the diet.

    Parents often do not expect how their child’s behavior and grades at school will change when they begin to give him vitamins and minerals to normalize the functioning of the nervous system or phytoextracts. Normalizing the balance of vitamins and hormones in the body also causes an improvement in self-esteem.

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