How to get rid of addiction to a man on your own - advice from a psychologist

True love is a wonderful feeling that makes us happy and joyful people, helps us overcome difficulties and develop spiritually. A woman who loves and feels loved is able to reach unprecedented heights, become a successful and comprehensively developed person. The sincere love of a man turns the most ordinary girl into a self-sufficient and self-confident queen who is actively engaged in self-improvement and moves only forward.

But sometimes some women confuse true love with emotional dependence on a man. This kind of “love” makes girls suffer and experience a lot of negative feelings.

What is emotional dependence? What are its features and symptoms? Is it possible to get rid of it? Today we will try to find answers to these important questions.

Reasons for dependence on a man

Emotional dependence on a woman or a man is a psychological condition in which one person cannot exist without the other. In such a state, you can feel adoration and be ready to do anything for your partner.

The main problem is that the person suffering from this disease does not recognize that he is sick. However, at the same time, he experiences moral suffering that arises due to trifles.

The main causes of addiction in women:

  • Young age and immaturity. The psyche is not yet fully formed and is not ready for a serious relationship;
  • Childhood trauma, lack of love from parents or total control and guardianship;
  • Lack of independence, desire to shift responsibilities to others;
  • Fear that a woman may be left alone;
  • Self-esteem problems;
  • Obsession with complexes and shortcomings, fear that the other person will reject her;
  • The woman is ready to be subordinate;
  • Mental or physical trauma from childhood or adolescence. There may have been an incident of sexual harassment.

Important! How to get rid of addiction to a man? First of all, you should admit to yourself that this psychological disorder exists, and you need to get rid of it.

Why does a person become addicted?

As a rule, a person’s tendency towards any addiction develops in childhood. When faced with difficulties, unpleasant or even traumatic situations, the child makes a choice (usually unconsciously) to protect himself from this situation by withdrawing from reality. The psyche protects itself, offering a childish way to cope and survive it.

In childhood, this way of escaping reality can be games, books, films or food. In adolescence, drugs, cigarettes or alcohol may become involved.

A person often carries this way of the psyche to adapt to difficulties into adulthood. Although this does not solve the problem, it is rather a quick way to get away from it for a while, take care of yourself, and relax. But it is not at all easy for an addicted person to realize this.

A person who tends to escape from reality into dependence is often also prone to dependent relationships. If you look closely, the mechanism of dependent relationships is very similar to any other addiction - a person loses himself, loses his sense of reality. He becomes as if unable to notice himself and what is really happening now. Stops being objective and puts on rose-colored glasses.

Rose-colored glasses are the psyche’s way of protecting itself, justifying it, and leaving everything as it is. This is how you have learned to adapt to reality. You don’t have another way yet, you haven’t been trained in it. And therefore, if you suddenly abandon this habitual way of coping with problems, you may become depressed or even go crazy. This is exactly what rose-colored glasses are for - they do not allow you to quickly give up addiction. And if you have seriously made the decision to say goodbye to addictions and find a way to cope with problems in a healthy adult way, the glasses will gradually become thinner until they disappear completely, and over time you will begin to see reality for what it is.

It is advisable to do this slowly so that your psyche does not suffer. But cases are different, and perhaps someday we will discuss exceptions - quick and drastic, merciless deliverance from addictions. If you have such examples, share them in the comments.

Types of addiction

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A woman is an emotional being. The female body is primarily guided by the heart, not the mind. That is why it is so difficult for him to distinguish true love from addiction. However, even in this case, not everything is as simple as it seems.

The attraction to a man can be not only love. Sometimes it can be purely emotional. Many young girls experience a strong connection with their first sexual partner.

Also one of the varieties is material attachment. This does not mean that the woman is a predator.

love affection

This phenomenon has been studied by psychologists for many years. Love addiction is also divided into different types. These include:

  • Loss of individuality. When a person completely rejects his own interests and tries to devote his life to his partner. As a rule, a woman in such situations breaks off relations with friends and relatives and finds joy in serving her man;
  • Total control by the man. He is the boss of the house. In addition to the fact that the girl completely changes her lifestyle, the guy further strengthens the dependence by introducing restrictions and controlling literally every step of his chosen one. The most famous example is outbursts of groundless jealousy;
  • Suppression of personality. The last stage, when a man moves from ordinary jealous hysterics to open aggression and assault, thereby further oppressing the personality of the other person.

A dependent relationship with a man does not end well. At best, partners stay together for several years and then separate. After such an experience, especially the first one, a woman receives great psychological trauma.

love affection


This is a softer form of affection. Usually in such relationships a woman simply puts her interests into the background without breaking her own psyche. Although you should not be deceived - emotional attachment is also recognized as a disease and needs treatment.

Main signs of emotional dependence:

  • Relegating personal interests to the background;
  • The emergence of panic at the thought that the couple will separate;
  • The desire to constantly be nearby, to hear a voice, to correspond.

How not to depend on a man emotionally? Since most of the causes of this disorder go back to childhood problems, getting rid of it is very difficult. In most cases, a woman needs professional help from a psychologist.


Financial attachment to a man is also a manifestation of not the most normal relationship. In such a family, a woman does not have the right to decide and allocate funds for herself. Everything is completely in the hands of the stronger sex.

Whether this is good or bad is up to each girl to decide for herself. Financial dependence cannot be called a disease.

In such a situation, a woman should remember that the stronger sex prefers girls who achieve something on their own and contribute to the family budget.

Material dependence

Signs of dependence on men

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Relationships in which there is dependence cannot be called adequate and healthy. What are the signs of dependence on a man? What you should pay attention to first of all:

  • Groundless jealousy on the part of a woman. Stayed late at work, met with friends - everything arouses suspicion in her;
  • Married man. The girl tries to take him away from the family;
  • The girl tries to protect her chosen one from the outside world, including from relatives;
  • Breakup causes depression in the addict;
  • A woman does not have her own interests and hobbies;
  • The girl believes that a conspiracy can be used to attract a chosen one;
  • The girl broke off relations with her friends and almost does not communicate with relatives;
  • There is an obsession that the partner can leave at any moment. Therefore, the girl tries to control his every step;
  • A woman gets offended when a man wants to mind his own business or doesn’t pay attention to her;
  • A partner has no flaws, he is ideal - this thought is present in every dependent lady;
  • In company, the girl does not leave her chosen one a single step, constantly tries to stay close to him and does not allow him to communicate with other people;
  • The girl is able to completely change her plans if her husband so desires;
  • The partner’s opinion and position are paramount;
  • The feeling of happiness comes only when the chosen one is nearby;
  • The obsessive thought that a man can be remade and a fairy-tale prince can be created from him;
  • Self-esteem depends entirely on the partner; if he rejects something, the woman does the same without even thinking.

Important! If most of what is described is present in a girl’s life, such passion must be gotten rid of immediately.

The desire to control every step

Getting rid of addiction to a man

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How to get out of an addictive relationship with a man? First of all, the initiative should come from the girl herself. Without her desire it is almost impossible to do this. The following treatment methods are available:

  • The realization that such a relationship will have no future. After the euphoria passes, only everyday quarrels and problems will remain between the partners;
  • To overcome abnormal feelings, you need to try to find another person who evokes sympathy and direct energy towards him;
  • Less romanticism, more realism. Communication with people who are not subject to love passions helps to find peace of mind;
  • Look soberly at your partner’s shortcomings, understand that he is not an ideal being, but an ordinary person;
  • You can free yourself from addiction by throwing yourself into work and physical training;
  • Direct your energy in a different direction, stop constantly thinking about him. Hobbies and constant practice of self-development help to overcome attachment.

Developmental pathology in childhood

In psychology, the topic of dependent relationships is one of the most pressing. Why can some people keep their distance, remaining independent from their partner, while others completely dissolve in him and his interests? Psychotherapists see childhood trauma as a stumbling block. For example, the baby did not receive the necessary closeness and attention from his mother; he was often pushed away. I constantly had to control my emotions. Such children carry over the desire to receive love and to be noticed into their subsequent relationships in adulthood. They strive to get the missing attention at any cost.

What is emotional slavery

Emotional slavery in relationships arises quite simply. At first, a woman feels admiration from her partner - he looks after her beautifully, gives flowers, and gives compliments.

After the relationship has taken root and the main passion has passed, the woman feels uncomfortable that the compliments and attentions have ended. The girl tries to do something, but does not receive approval. This leads to even greater despondency and complexes.

More and more often, questions arise in a girl’s head: “What if he doesn’t love me?” "What if he has another one." This relationship can be saved and preserved if the woman stops focusing on the approval of her chosen one.

Important! A man can also relieve a woman of her cravings. You can't always encourage your partner like a little child. However, one should not ridicule failures; this will lead to even greater complexes.

4) Expect discomfort

After engaging in the unhealthy patterns that underlie your addiction for a long time, expect to feel less than well in the early stages of recovery, even after a short period of improvement.

This is partly because in the early stages of withdrawal, withdrawal symptoms appear and we grieve the loss of our fantasies; Also, symptoms of withdrawal syndrome appear when we abandon our usual patterns of thinking and behavior - however, for a complete recovery we still have to change them.

Expect pain and discomfort just like what you may experience after surgery and during your subsequent recovery from surgery. Even in pain, you continue to heal. Know that this won't last forever, so just trust the process.

Advice from psychologists

How to get rid of love addiction to men? Most psychologists consider this condition to be a disease that should be treated. If a girl has discovered symptoms of attachment to her partner, she should not fall into despair, since awareness of the problem is a step towards solving it.

You can't try to dismiss the problem. Running away won't solve anything and won't lead to anything. Most experts on the issue of combating love addiction give the following advice:

  • One of the most suitable ways to fight is to switch and develop your own interests. It’s worth taking up a hobby, getting involved in sports, immersing yourself in work and communicating with other people;
  • You cannot close yourself off from the outside world and withdraw into yourself - more communication, more new acquaintances and self-development;
  • Talking with friends helps a lot in getting rid of an internal crisis;
  • Aggression should not be present in relationships. If a man is a tyrant, he should be immediately removed from life.

Unhealthy relationship

The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman has been studied for many years. You should not drive yourself and your partner into a slave relationship. This kind of phenomenon does not lead to anything good.

How not to step on the same rake

Working through the true challenges of getting into a toxic relationship will help you avoid making the same mistake.

  1. You must accurately determine the causes of the problem (see Causes above).
  2. Work through them. Forgive your parents and take responsibility for your future.
  3. Work on improving your self-esteem.
  4. Deal with your fears and self-doubt.
  5. Stop beating yourself up.
  6. Get rid of anxious thoughts.
  7. Set personal boundaries.
  8. Make a list of goals.
  9. Make a list of the qualities you want to look for in a new partner.

In addition, you need to learn to identify the symptoms of a toxic relationship in order to cut them off in the bud before they invade your life like a weed.

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