How to become angry and gain a strong character: brief recommendations and advice

Few people are interested in the question of how to become evil. On the contrary, lately everyone has been interested in the opposite. Namely, how to become kinder, more tolerant, more loyal to others. Because many of us are surrounded by stress, which then leads to the release of negativity on those who are not to blame for anything at all. But no, some people want to become more aggressive. There are various reasons for this.

What is cruelty?

Cruelty is a rude or inept attitude towards living beings, accompanied by infliction of pain and mental and physical harm. In most cases, it is considered as destructive aggression aimed at deliberately causing harm to a living being. However, inaction or inept care, pathological disorders are also considered cruel. For example, if children are not taught to swim, knowing about the inevitable conditions of survival in water, such treatment is qualified in legal language as “leaving in danger.”

The following factors qualify as cruelty:

  1. The victims of harshness are people close to us.
  2. Many of the actions of aggressors are a consequence of the age crisis.
  3. Cruelty usually breeds in dysfunctional families, but many criminals were raised by wealthy and caring parents.
  4. Negativity can manifest itself without a real reason.

The degree of rigidity changes up or down, depending on the situation, and takes a stable form.

Let's say no to help

A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

How does it manifest in humans?

Teenage cruelty - causes and prevention of such behavior

Cruelty is always associated with causing pain, mental or physical.

A ruthless attitude manifests itself:

  • causing physical harm to people's health, violence;
  • killing people, pets, plants;
  • destruction of monuments, architectural structures (vandalism);
  • verbal aggression: writing gossip and rumors, sarcasm and swearing, humiliation, insult;
  • anger, intolerance, irritation, hatred of others;
  • deliberate destruction of material wealth, actions “out of spite”;
  • cold-blooded inaction with the aim of causing more harm.

Satisfaction with barbaric actions causes sadism; its causes lie deep in the psyche.

The country is experiencing a moral impasse

Name three words that most fully and accurately, in your opinion, characterize the current moral climate in our country.

Sergey Enikolopov:

Perhaps we can get by with two: moral impassability. That was the name of a book once published in the West. It characterized the situation that developed in Europe at the turn of the 70-80s, when the old morality collapsed, and a new one had not yet been born, and people were left without a rut. Russia is experiencing something similar now. One ideology is gone, but we don’t have another. And people enter the arena with an existential vacuum in their heads, as a result of which they become easily manipulated. I saw several people who were traveling to ISIS (an organization banned in Russia). But there was a feeling that if another manipulator had taken charge of them, they would have gone to the starving children of Africa or somewhere else.

The most paradoxical thing is that everyone hates everyone. Each social stratum has its own objects of hatred

But this is more of an ideological impasse than a moral one.

Sergey Enikolopov:

One is interconnected with the other. Now it is difficult to say with certainty what is good and what is bad. The boundaries are blurred. There are no moral taboos. Everything is permissible, everything is permissible.



Psychological violence - what is it?

Observers and instigators act as a powerful message for human cruelty. Many willingly agree to publicly punish people, even when receiving commands from persons who are not in authority. Bystanders influence aggression when the performer seeks approval.

Violence towards a teenager


According to the theory of moral panic, the media act as a source of negative impressions that cause mass anxiety and tension in society. TV presents human cruelty as an effective solution to problems. Watching scenes of violence encourages manifestations of cruelty in real life.

External factors

High air temperatures increase the likelihood of irritation and barbaric behavior. Noise and crowding affect inhumanity. Anger also arises in a polluted environment, an excessively smoky environment.

Personal characteristics

Psychological characteristics that provoke callous behavior include fear of social disapproval, irritability, seeing hostility in others, and a feeling of shame instead of guilt. A tough person also forms a way of thinking based on extremes, patterns, prejudices (including racial ones).

Examples of passive-aggressive behavior

Passive aggression is a very common phenomenon. Sometimes very close people show it without noticing it themselves. Sometimes they are strangers who, under the guise of goodwill, try to show their superiority or simply humiliate a random person. Let's look at some typical examples of passive aggression from everyday life.

Older women love to give advice to young mothers passing by on how they should care for their children, how to dress them and what toys to buy for them. Of course, there is no talk of any concern. This is rather an attempt to humiliate a stranger by showing that she is incompetent in matters of caring for a child or is simply irresponsible.

Surely you have relatives or close friends who love to teach you how to live correctly , when to get married, what a wedding should be like, when and how many children you should have... The situation here is approximately the same as in the previous example. The desire to “teach life” is usually just an attempt to say “I know everything about life, but you constantly make stupid mistakes!”

Very often, passive aggression manifests itself in the form of poorly hidden envy. For example, a person may make barbs about someone who was able to quit smoking (unlike him), and expresses confidence that “It won’t last for long anyway!” Any other success that causes envy (for example, advancement up the career ladder) receives similar criticism.

Most often, passive aggression manifests itself in the form of actions such as:

  • compliments with “unobtrusive” criticism;
  • complaints about injustice (“He didn’t deserve this promotion!”);
  • psychological pressure (obsessiveness, excessive friendliness, a stream of negativity and complaints about everyday events);
  • demonstrative “playful” gloating;
  • focusing on other people's mistakes (sometimes also counting these mistakes);
  • sabotage of work, promises and other obligations;
  • conflicting formulations disguised as polite (“Explain to me, please!”);
  • playing the victim (“I’m not talking to you!”).

Female and male aggression

Volitional personality traits - what is it in psychology, their formation

The signs of male and female severity are different. The female half expresses anger through ruthlessness and relieves stress. Men use aggression as a specific behavior pattern that provides social or material reward. Also, the causes of attacks of rigidity in both sexes are hormonal changes in the body, psychological problems, addictions: alcohol, drugs, nicotine. Regular intake of harmful substances has a destructive effect on the people’s psyche.


Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage...and mirror your behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

How to become a cold-blooded and cruel person

Anger helps you be bolder, allows you to mobilize your strength in the event of an attack, block the emotions of sadness during a breakup, and make your way in business. Gentle, kind, cowardly people rarely reach high positions.

Reflection of the internal state of an evil person

The following recommendations will help you change your character and understand what cruelty is:

  1. It is important to stop answering “yes”, reacting with cold indifference to other people’s grievances, and first of all worrying about your own affairs and problems.
  2. It is worth taking care to develop self-confidence. An individual is unique and inimitable; a cruel person understands this and does not allow self-esteem to be lowered.
  3. Your own opinion should be a priority. It’s stupid to be afraid to express your point of view, citing the grievances of others. An individual is not responsible for other people's emotions; he has the right to say what he thinks.
  4. Playing sports will help foster competition. Men are recommended to attend wrestling and boxing classes.
  5. Creating a daily routine disciplines you - it makes it easier to move into a new state.
  6. Before you become violent, you need to take care of proper nutrition. Plant-based foods reduce anger levels. It is advisable to eat red meat and fish. The diet must be complete. It is useful to include dairy products and eggs. If there is a lack of vitamins, special supplements will be required.
  7. Achieving goals requires persistence. You should not give up in response to aggression, you need to show perseverance and determination.
  8. Confident people are identified by their gestures and postures: straight shoulders and back, raised head, direct and long gaze.
  9. It will be useful to train aggressive facial expressions in front of the mirror: frowning eyebrows, pursed lips, tense facial muscles.

The main rule of a tough person is that no one owes anyone anything.

Who needs it?

The question of how to become evil is usually preoccupied by very pleasant and tactful people, whose kindness is blatantly taken advantage of by others. At one point, their tolerance ends and they long to change the situation.

A person sets himself a very difficult task - to become the opposite of himself. Naturally, this cannot be done without difficulties. You won't be able to become very angry right away. It is as difficult as it is for an aggressive, irritable person to turn into a kind person.

By the way, you don’t have to become exactly evil. Many people confuse the concepts. It's better to just get tougher. And in this matter, the most important thing is to start saying “no”. It is difficult to refuse, especially when a person always said “yes”, agreeing to help, help out, save a comrade.

When a colleague once again comes up with a request that sounds like this: “Replace me tomorrow, my child has a matinee,” you just need to refuse. And to the surprise: “But you always agree?” - answer without smiling: “Actually, I have a day off, which I have already planned.” This will cause confusion for the person asking. Perhaps he will even whisper in someone’s ear: “He’s somehow angry today,” but he’s unlikely to come up with such a request again.

Can cruelty be justified?

People condemn cruelty, look for justifying arguments, or show indifference (if they have not experienced a negative impact on themselves). The reaction is usually determined by the reason for the negative behavior. If barbaric behavior is a way of self-gratification, intimidation, envy and revenge, it cannot be justified. An instant outburst of aggression, forced by serious circumstances (protection of a person, animal), is subject to explanation.

The main character of the novel "Crime and Punishment"

Interesting. Turning to classical literature, it is worth reading the novel “Crime and Punishment,” where Rodion Raskolnikov was first surprised by the callousness of those around him, then decided to take revenge for the insults of the victims. The main character decides to kill the old pawnbroker. If you indulge in reasoning, a good person will not encroach on a person’s life. Rodion became cruel due to circumstances. Readers of the novel find an explanation for Raskolnikov's anger as the inability to come to terms with the troubles of his family.

For an analogy, we can turn to the image of Andrei Platonovich Platonov from the story “Yushka”. The man is weakened by consumption, but has a kind soul. His fellow villagers call him Yushka. Platonov works at a forge, helps people, but in return for kindness he receives cruelty: children insult Yushka, throw sand at him, adults consider it normal to inflict physical blows. The cruelty of people who offend Platonov cannot be explained or justified; the person does no harm to anyone.

Thus, cruelty is justifiable for serious reasons. These are isolated moments; more often than not, a callous character deserves condemnation.

Lack of attention

The second rule is not for anything, not for people, not for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when yours comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you won’t be able to become one. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

The concept of acceptable and conscious cruelty

When assessing specific examples of cruelty, the circumstances of the action play an important role. If rigidity is forced and justified, and prevents significantly greater damage (for example, defending the Fatherland, saving a drowning person), it is considered acceptable.

Unreasonable cruelty can be targeted and hostile. The first mechanism is aimed at satisfying desires, achieving goals and the ability to adapt. The grounds for evil and hostile behavior are the desire for competition, protection of rights and interests, and the development of knowledge. The second form can arise when there is a desire to cause harm and enjoy the result. The aggressor often provokes conflicts, cruelty becomes a trait of the individual, and adaptive capabilities are reduced.

Justified cruelty of doctors

Is it worth becoming evil?

If your excessive kindness prevents you from living and achieving heights in your career, then it is definitely necessary to add anger to your character.

This does not mean that you should become completely evil and stop doing good deeds.

The main thing is to cultivate in yourself those character traits that will allow you to exist win-win in society and achieve your goals.

If you want to become evil, become evil, but you will have to go a long way to refract yourself and your attitudes.

It is likely that some people will turn away from you. You will refuse them, but they are not used to this. But these were energy vampires who took advantage of your gentleness and inability to refuse.

Methods of protection

When faced with aggression from others, it is necessary to take the following measures:

  1. Learn a couple of self-defense techniques and use hand-to-hand combat when there is a threat coming from strangers.
  2. Learn to ignore “energy vampires” who create insults and provocations.
  3. Increase self-esteem. People who are too soft and modest attract tough people like a magnet.
  4. In some situations, it is worth asking for help from those closest to you, or contacting law enforcement agencies (for example, if a neighbor is threatening to kill you).

If a person suffers from his own cruelty and wants to change, he needs to work on self-esteem. Perhaps the individual strives to rise, to prove to himself and others his own importance. It is also worth periodically visiting the place of your interlocutor and feeling the suffering of the victim. A psychologist will provide good help in this situation: a specialist will make it clear what manifestations of anger can mean and suggest effective ways to manage aggression.


For a good person to become evil, he needs compelling reasons. Of course, many people have sudden outbursts. So a person thinks: “That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t help anyone anymore and forgive nothing!” But then she somehow forgets about it and continues to be “Mother Teresa.”

Need motivation. How to become evil? Just remember the reasons that cause this “need”. You can even write them out: “Colleagues constantly leave all the “dirty” work to me. When they are having fun, I stay in the office late. I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t take care of my personal life. It's time to stop this. I still love myself." The principle is the same, even if it’s not about work. Here is an example regarding family: “I am 30 years old, but I still do what my mother wants. I can't resist her, she constantly tells me what I need to do. The situation needs to change - I don’t feel like a man and I can’t present myself as such in society.”

In general, in other words, a person must make a firm decision to change something. Plus, his confidence will be noticed by those around him who want to sit on his neck.

Examples of cruelty in everyday life

Among the characteristic signs of rigidity are:

  • aggression, intimidation, abuse of power;
  • vampirism in the form of "miserable" and "in dire need of attention";
  • creating barriers to realization intellectually and professionally;
  • the desire to separate lovers;
  • prohibition of sexual activity (adult children, single parents);
  • a ban on having children under the pretext of lack of extra square footage;
  • prohibitions on creative activities;
  • imposing heavy obligations.

Quote. Cruelty is the product of an evil mind and often a cowardly heart. L. Ariosto.

Quote from Aristo Ludovico

Anger interferes with the fulfillment of the natural needs of others. The subconscious of individuals requires the implementation of programmed activities, it tenses up, looks for opportunities to realize the idea, and often the final solution to satisfy the needs is the elimination of the aggressor.

Violence by women against men is now also justified

Can we say that social networks, where everything has become possible - streams of abuse, mocking trolling, outbursts of anger, aggression - are preparing a moral revolution? Or has this revolution already happened and it’s too late to complain about Facebook and Instagram?

Sergey Enikolopov:

We are, of course, observing a certain decline in moral thresholds. But it’s one thing to cheat on wives or husbands (this is not the most decent option, but still peaceful) and another thing is domestic violence. The degree of this violence is increasing - that’s what’s alarming. According to evolutionary psychology, male violence against women is biologically determined. Not in the sense that it will definitely happen, but in the sense that this is some form of protection against the wife’s infidelity. But now violence by women against men is justified.

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

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