At all times, courage was considered a positive quality, one of the main virtues, as well as a sign of a spiritually developed personality. There is not a single timid person who, at least once in his life, has not thought about how to become brave and learn to control the feeling of fear. Developing this strong-willed character trait is not an easy task; it requires titanic work and constant work on oneself.
Understand what courage is.
Courage is more than conquering fear. Mastering courage means becoming successful and sociable.
Courage is a skill:
- to take responsibility;
- look at what is happening soberly;
- control your emotions;
- protect your territory and interests;
- make decisions quickly.
Having figured out what this quality means, you can start a course called “How to become courageous and successful.” It is posted in the following paragraphs of our article.
Take a temperament test
Learn to trust yourself
The main driving motive should be your beliefs and desires. Often people deliberately choose a weak position in order to attribute their failures to enemies or external circumstances. Some people find it convenient to relax, mope and let everything take its course, give up and not be responsible for their own life. It is much more difficult to set goals, cast aside indecision and achieve what you want, relying not on luck, but on your own strength. To learn to rationally evaluate your actions and get rid of unnecessary doubts, you need to work on yourself.
Don't let others dictate your behavior and manipulate you. Listen to your feelings before making a decision. Indecision in many cases is the result of overprotectiveness of relatives and fear of not fitting into the generally accepted framework. Fear of condemnation leads to the fact that a person resigns himself to the position of a weak and unadapted person. Getting out of this circle is not easy, but it is necessary to do it - give up stereotypes. Get out of your comfort zone and start determining the direction of your life yourself.
Believe in yourself and don't be afraid of change.
Uncertainty is one thing, and self-distrust is another: “I can’t,” “Nothing will work,” “Everything is hopeless.” This attitude is already a defeat. You need to believe in your strengths, capabilities, abilities, and also trust yourself.
There is one more important point that encourages you to have a frank conversation with yourself. Sometimes our insecurities are the result of a fear of change. After all, passing an interview means changing the rhythm of life, showing your best qualities, pushing yourself, as they say. Why, if at your current job you don’t have to try very hard. True, the salary is small, there is no development.
It doesn’t happen that the wolves are full and the sheep are safe. After all, how can you become better, bolder, if you are not ready for change? Moreover, to the best.
Self confidence
If you are thinking about how to become decisive, then we have to disappoint you: without confidence, you will not develop this character trait. And if courage requires you to forget about fears, then confidence manifests itself in your inner strengths. And the main thing here is not to overdo it. You need to objectively assess your strengths and understand what you can do and what you cannot do.
If you have low self-esteem, then it manifests itself as an internal awareness that you can do it, but due to lack of motivation you don’t. In this case, a person gives up on what he has planned rather than trying to do anything.
Inflated self-esteem is manifested by an attempt to prove that you are capable of everything, but in reality you cannot do anything.
This feeling can only be developed in one way - introspection. As is the case with courage. Every day you need to give yourself arguments why you should do this or that, whether you can do it, whether you assess the situation correctly. Start a blog or simply write down in a notepad what you have already done.
Conquer fear.
Fear is one of the reactions of consciousness to what is happening. It occurs at the moment when you need to decide whether to run away or attack. When we are afraid, cortisone, the “stress hormone,” begins to be actively released in the body. You can thank him for the panic attacks.
Interestingly, fear is inherent even in newborns . It manifests itself in the form of the instinct of self-preservation. The first fears that our subconscious gives out are the fear of noise and falling. Other fears are the result of the influence of loved ones or life circumstances.
Almost all phobias or complexes are rooted in childhood, when caring parents inspire: “You can’t go there - there’s an evil dog,” “If you study poorly, you’ll become a failure,” “No one does that, be like everyone else!” Formed under the fear of social condemnation, we, as adult uncles or aunts, are afraid of dogs, suffer from excellent student syndrome and are afraid to object to management.
We diligently instill the rest of our fears in ourselves , for fear of getting sick, going crazy, or dying.
Those who want to know how to become brave need to get rid of their fears, change their thinking, and understand that our thoughts do not allow us to become brave.
Here are the rules to get you started:
- Do not avoid fear and situations that cause it.
- Meet the source of fear head-on, if it is safe to do so.
- Rationally, logically explain what is happening.
Leaving your comfort zone
Giving up your usual lifestyle may be anxiety-provoking at first, but it will give you the opportunity to rise above your fears. Performing new actions teaches you to be calmer about surprises, which, in fact, give rise to doubts and fear. Learning how to overcome fear in a specific situation will enable you to demonstrate courage when faced with unexpected circumstances.
A reasonable move beyond the comfort zone into the territory of risk is a necessary condition for personal growth. You need to learn to remove fear when meeting something new. It's worth starting small . For example, approach a stranger on the street with a request.
Everyone has things they just can't do. One is unable to overcome himself and object to a leader whose radical demands run counter to his personal beliefs, the other is afraid to jump with a parachute, although he has long dreamed of it. Sometimes you can get rid of these fears, but sometimes you can’t.
There is clearly no point in over-reflecting on this matter. It happens that the reluctance to be bold is a manifestation of an adaptive model of behavior, when a person simply does not see the point in doing something that causes him fear. You should focus on developing courage in other situations. So, you can first discuss your views with a close friend, and only then express everything to your boss.
Develop determination.
How to become brave, or at least appear brave? Learn to make decisions quickly. It is important not to let your imagination paint a picture of the negative consequences of your action.
You can take it as a rule - no more than 2 seconds to think. For example, a dog appears from around the corner, and at the sight of it your soul sinks into your heels. You need to count to two in your head, come to your senses, and pull yourself together. It is not so important what exactly to do - call for help, pick up a stone from the ground, the main thing is not to lose composure.
If you manage to overcome yourself, it is advisable to reward yourself - eat a cake or spend a couple of hours in the entertainment center.
Take risks.
Risk is a medicine clearly titled “How to Become Courageous.” The fact is that when we take risks, the body produces adrenaline, and it blocks fear.
Making a mistake, losing or losing something is not as scary as never taking risks at all. Staying in a “shell” lowers self-esteem, and increases risk. You can start by participating in an auction and end by opening your own cafe or buying a motorcycle.
Take the self-esteem test
Psychological portrait of a brave man
To become bold and courageous, you need to know what characteristics are inherent in a decisive and self-confident person. A person can be called brave only if he meets the following requirements:
- Knows how to keep emotions under control, adequately assesses the situation and is able to make the right decision, relying solely on the voice of reason.
- He knows what he wants and does not give up on his goal, even if he has to make certain sacrifices to achieve it.
- Responsible for his words and actions.
- Ready to fight for the honor and dignity of loved ones.
- He soberly assesses his capabilities, but never gives in to difficulties.
A daredevil differs from a coward in that in any situation he does not lose face and does not cave in under the pressure of public opinion. Courage allows you to believe in a bright future, because a courageous person realizes that fate is entirely in his hands.
Train.
How to become brave? Learn the basics of this quality in practice. It won't be easy, but there is no other way. Reading smart books and useful articles is a great start, a good motivator, a solid support. But this is just a theory, and everyone must develop the skills themselves.
For example, set a limit - up to three bold actions per day. It's not about rescuing drowning people or chasing down armed robbers. The bar for courage is different for everyone. For some, talking to a stranger is already a difficult act, requiring effort and work on oneself. You can write to the girl (boyfriend) you like, return the item to the store, or, ultimately, make a remark to your neighbor whose dog appropriated your rug for himself.
Everything may not work out right away, but the result will not be long in coming. After a month of intensive training, you will be able to share your own experience on how to become brave.
What to avoid
To gain courage and self-confidence, follow three simple rules:
- Don't allow yourself to think about a bad outcome. This is not the case, such thoughts are unproductive.
- Don't think about past failures. These are the steps that will take you higher. Remember about 801 failed attempts. Failures are steps towards your dreams. One of the following steps will be successful.
- Don't listen to those who say you won't succeed. It's worth listening to the person. Ask why he thinks this way. If the arguments are valid, accept the information with gratitude and analyze it to avoid mistakes. You can do it.
Do not allow yourself to remain within the same framework where fears and anxieties drove you. Feel free to go beyond the limits. Break your own inhibitions to become different from within.
Find inspiration.
Psychologists are sure that a good result can only be achieved when there is support. For example, it is better to run in the morning with a company, and to do yoga with a trainer. It is possible to climb the peaks alone, but it is much more difficult.
So it is with self-development. You need to find a brave and determined person who knows exactly how to become brave and can inspire or encourage.
Some people draw strength from watching the Die Hard film series with Bruce Willis, while for others, a role model is a person who has overcome a terrible disease.
It doesn’t matter who becomes the inspiration, the main thing is that he is there, and you want to look up to him.
Why is it so important to be brave?
Many of us have a stereotype associated with courage and courage that these qualities are needed only in extreme situations, for example, when it is necessary to save someone’s life. That is, the manifestation of courage is equal to a feat. But, you see, we don’t find ourselves in such circumstances every day. Why then is courage needed? Let's figure it out:
- Self-development and self-realization are important for every person. But this process is inevitably associated with the fact that we have to take on more responsibility, make difficult decisions, express ourselves in unconventional ways, learn new things and use the acquired skills in practice. And, of course, making mistakes in the process—you can’t live without them. All this requires remarkable courage. After all, remember yourself at university, when you first had to write a large scientific paper. To make even an introduction, I had to overcome the “fear of a blank sheet”, the fear of the dissatisfaction of the supervisor and many other fears. It's normal when you do something for the first time, especially something that depends entirely on yourself. And this really takes courage. You also need courage to honestly look your own shortcomings in the eye - without this, true personal development is impossible.
- Courage helps a lot in communication. Meeting a person you like on the street or in a cafe, calling a new client at work for the first time, and sometimes even just asking for a fare on a minibus - for some these tasks are not difficult, but for some people, for example, introverts, they can be practically impossible. Often this deprives us of many opportunities: to improve our personal lives, get a promotion, make new friends. And without this, life can lose its charm.
- A lot of courage is especially needed for close relationships. Because true intimacy involves vulnerability. In order to be yourself next to a person, to reveal your “dark” side to him, in order to accept the “shadow” of a loved one, you often really need to be able to cope with many fears - the fear of being rejected, misunderstood, the fear of loss, conflicts.
- Sometimes you need courage to solve basic life problems. We have already mentioned the notorious fare in transport, but there are enough such small tasks that require courage every day in our lives. Making an appointment with a doctor, going through an interview, filling out the necessary documents, asking directions from a passerby on the street - these methods of communication may require overcoming your fears. But without it, we simply cannot live normally in the modern world, where communication plays a vital role.
- It takes enormous courage to be 100% yourself, to express yourself freely. Coming up with a new idea at work, being creative in solving a problem, or even just getting a bold haircut can be very difficult if you are afraid of the opinions of others or “extra” responsibility. But if a person does not overcome these fears, he lives with the feeling that he is not living his life, is not fully realized, and is relegating himself to the background.
- A bright and rich life, new experiences also require courage. After all, a person who cannot push aside his fears will never go on a trip, ride a roller coaster, climb a mountain or deep-sea dive - in general, he will deprive himself of the opportunity to fulfill his dreams. And the result will be a boring, gray life and, of course, dissatisfaction with it and with yourself.
Courage does not mean not being afraid of anything, but it is always about the internal readiness to overcome one’s own fears, the ability to act in spite of them. [1] And fear is one of the main “brakes” of human development. Fear paralyzes, deprives you of achievements, new knowledge, new impressions, and pleasure from life.
When we make the decision to put aside our fears and become bolder, life begins to change as if by magic. In fact, this change in your behavior allows you to achieve career and creative success, create close and fulfilling relationships, meet new people and get vivid impressions. She becomes truly complete. It’s as if the picture of life was gray before, but now it’s finally painted with all the colors of the rainbow. Having become accustomed to showing courage and courage, in a few months you will not recognize yourself and your life.
In addition, courage gives an incomparable feeling of pride in oneself, self-esteem, and high self-esteem. And these feelings are very motivating for further achievements.
“All my life I seemed to be floating with the flow: school, college, boring office work. An unloved person who was “wooed” by his parents - they say, he’s a good guy, you shouldn’t miss this. I was even getting ready to get married. And on the day when they took the documents to the registry office, it was as if something clicked inside: I want to become brave! I thought: where is my life going? All my life I was a good girl, I was afraid to make decisions, I didn’t dare to express my opinion - my parents always decided everything for me. I was seriously afraid that I would never meet anyone better than my fiancé, that I would be alone forever - and I was only 23 years old, the very beginning of my life! I was afraid to be left without education, without work, without housing - who needs me, where will I go with my meager skills. Dreams of travel and creativity were pushed into the farthest box, and I had already forgotten that I once had them.
That day, I literally stopped my boyfriend in the middle of the road and said that I would not go anywhere with him any further - in every sense. The next week I resolutely quit my job. I bought paints with my vacation pay and painted excitedly for the next two weeks. And then she overcame her modesty, posted her work on social networks and the next day received her first order for illustration.
My story is not like a fairy tale: I still haven’t met my “prince,” but only because I approach relationships much more responsibly, I’m not afraid of growing old alone and I don’t grab the first person I come across. I still don’t earn millions and haven’t traveled the whole world, but I’m finally doing what I love, I feel like I’m developing every day and that I have prospects. Life has found meaning. All you had to do was cast aside your fears and doubts and take the first step. It’s good that I did it on time!”
— Anna, 25 years old
Change your look
According to psychologists, brave people are not afraid of any changes. Being conservative today is not accepted. Therefore, those who are interested in how to become bold can be recommended to change their image. You can start with your hairstyle and clothing style. If you feel comfortable in your new look, then you are on the right track. It is possible that you will encounter rejection of the new by those around you. However, these are not your problems, but the people who are accustomed to your old image. Do what you think is right and don’t follow the lead of others. Over time, they will get used to it, and you will notice that their attitude towards you will most likely improve for the better.
What are you aiming for?
If you are planning to become brave, then you probably already have a goal that you cannot achieve due to your indecision. In this case, psychologists recommend analyzing the goal in relation to those personal qualities necessary for its implementation. This way you will create a list of obstacles that are worth working on. By correcting his negative qualities, a person begins to understand that he is capable of more.
