How to become a more responsible person? 09 February 2014, 00:00 | Katya Kozhevnikova
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Irresponsibility is not the most pleasant quality. It interferes with building a career, spoils our relationships with people, and ultimately prevents us from becoming successful and happy. Let's figure it out, is irresponsibility forever, or can we try to become a more responsible person?
As a child, I really wanted a pet: a kitten, a puppy, or at least a white mouse in a cage. But my parents did not share my desire and always repeated: “You are irresponsible, you are not responsible for yourself, how will you answer a pet?” And then I believed it. So much so that for many years I didn’t dare to have a pet until they gave me one. Then I realized two things:
- Under no circumstances should you say that to a child.
- I can be responsible not only for a pet, but for my entire life.
However, even as a teenager I realized that the level of responsibility is not a constant, it is set by our environment. For example, in the company of protective parents or an overly responsible man, girls often begin to behave rather childishly. They don’t need to be responsible in this situation; others will do it for them. But as soon as the same young lady finds herself in the company of an even more irresponsible creature, for example, a younger sister, she suddenly takes on the role of an intelligent and responsible “parent”. But in any case, in order not to get used to irresponsibility, you must try to avoid overprotection and communicate with others on equal terms.
Responsibility towards others
Being a responsible person towards others means fulfilling your obligations and promises on time and efficiently. It sounds simple, but sometimes it is much more difficult to do.
To become a more responsible person, you first need to stop making excuses for your own irresponsibility. So, for example, people who are constantly late say in their defense: “Well, you know me!” But this is the worst excuse you can come up with. It means that a person takes his own shortcomings for granted and is not going to change anything.
To keep your promises, you must make them only consciously. Often people who find it difficult to say no make a huge number of promises that they cannot keep in principle. They end up letting others down and are considered the most irresponsible people in the world. Such kindness does more harm than good. So train yourself not to make promises that you yourself are not sure of.
Don't leave things to the last minute. Irresponsible people often blame any external forces and circumstances for their problems: traffic jams, interruptions in the Internet, or even conspiracies of ill-wishers. Learn to take full responsibility for your obligations and provide for all force majeure circumstances.
And in general, responsibility presupposes the ability to admit one’s mistakes. Analyze your actions and honestly admit to yourself why in one case or another you behaved irresponsibly, where you made a mistake and how you can avoid such a situation in the future.
Practice keeping your promises. You can do it on yourself - give yourself three promises every morning and try to fulfill them, no matter what, and write down the results.
Increasing responsibility is training in self-discipline, which is never harmful to work on.
Responsibility towards yourself
There is another level of responsibility, much more complex, which few people master. This is responsibility for one’s own life, the ability not to go with the flow, but to act as the architect of one’s own destiny. It is very simple to understand whether a person has such a quality - just ask him what he has achieved in life himself, and what “happened by itself.” If most of it “somehow worked out”, it means that he was just going with the flow, and was not in control of his life.
Developing such a degree of responsibility is not so easy; many books, trainings and seminars are devoted to this. But the game is worth the candle, because if successful, the person will manage his life himself and lead it to a better result.
Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, invites readers to define their circle of influence, and not waste energy on what happens outside this circle, but do everything possible to ensure that everything within the circle happens exactly the way you want.
First you need to stop and think whether everything in life suits you. Is your work, relationships, hobbies something you aspired to, or just something that somehow came into your life? If the second option, write down your real desires and goals, and think about how you can influence the situation, what steps will lead you to the desired result.
One of the ways to change your attitude towards life is auto-training or affirmations . Constant repetition of the words: “Only I am responsible for my life” will help develop the appropriate psychological attitude.
Do you consider yourself a responsible person?
Katya Kozhevnikova , etoya.ru
What do we mean by the word responsibility?
A person lives in society. This means that he communicates with people in various areas of life, including personal and family relationships. And in these relationships it is important to be responsible, but few people understand how to become responsible. For those who have forgotten what it is, let us remind you:
- Responsibility is the obligation to answer for actions and actions. This responsibility is subjective.
- Responsibility is a personal quality based on the will of a person. This quality manifests itself in exercising control over your life.
- Responsibility is the punishment for a person committing offenses.
Thus, it turns out that responsibility is divided into two groups: moral and legal. The latter type of liability has various subtypes (material, criminal, civil). Both types are equally important for humans and their immediate environment.
No one wants to live next to a person who lacks will, or with a delinquent. By the way, they become one when, from childhood, the child was not taught to take responsibility for his actions and was indulged in everything. As a result, a morally immature personality grows up. It is precisely such individuals, according to experts, who are most capable of committing crimes.
About overly responsible people
But there is another extreme - excessive responsibility, which, by the way, is characteristic of quite a lot of people. For example, it often affects individuals with a shy character. Individuals who lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem often project their fears into the future. For example, they are often afraid to call or take the first step before meeting an interesting person, because they are pre-set to refuse and think that the potential interlocutor will not communicate with them due to being busy, unwilling to build relationships and communicate with them. Thus, they take responsibility for the feelings, thoughts and actions of other people in advance, thereby programming themselves for failure.
If we talk about excessive responsibility in general, then at its core, it is actually the same as irresponsible behavior, since a person thinks about others, but stops thinking about himself, taking care of himself and his needs.
Benefits of Responsibility
What gives a person responsibility? Why is it necessary to strive for it, eliminating the feeling of insecurity, laziness and apathy? Let's look at the main benefits of responsibility:
- This quality gives you confidence in yourself and your actions.
- A responsible person is respected by the people around him, which gives him a reason to respect himself.
- A responsible person controls his life and also does not lose self-control in the event of negative, stressful situations in life. Alas, there is no escape from them. Our life consists not only of holidays and joys, but sometimes grief and sorrow come into it.
- Responsibility saves a person from misanthropy; such a person will not condemn other people for their mistakes. Rather, he will learn from the negative experience of those close to him, trying to prevent a similar situation or action. And if this happens, try to correct the situation by persistently and going straight to the goal.
The next postulate, that a responsible person is responsible for loved ones and relatives, seems controversial. Legal responsibility of parents for children exists, but it continues until a certain age of the child.
Moral responsibility, as many parents believe, does not depend on a person’s age. Should a person be responsible for other people? Be it, are they relatives? It seems to the author of the article that no, he shouldn’t.
The main thing is to be yourself: this is a great luxury in the modern world in which people wear masks. Very often we talk not to a person’s soul, but to his soulless mask. A person must, first of all, be responsible to himself.
Being responsible to yourself and to those around you will help you achieve success faster. And to make your actions more structured, take the “Magic of Achievement” marathon and you will see how quickly everything will work out for you and success will come to you.
Improve your life!
Change
If you want to become a responsible person, you will inevitably have to change. You won't get better by standing in one place. You will have to constantly improve. First of all, you will have to learn to control your actions. Organize your day, don’t put things off until later when it will be impossible to sort them out. Many people are accustomed to doing everything at the last minute, initially indulging in laziness. But in order to become a responsible person, you need to forget about such behavior. In addition, you will have to stop shifting responsibility to other people.
How to educate yourself?
Every morning you need to say to yourself that only a person is responsible for himself and his life. This must be repeated several times in a row so that this phrase is firmly entrenched in the mind. Yes, this may be self-hypnosis, but it has only one benefit. It doesn’t matter what happens to a person during the day, the main thing is to follow this phrase and love your thoughts.
Also, help your loved ones. If you have a younger brother or sister, a godson, help your parents pick them up from kindergarten, sit with him, play, take a walk. And such, go to the doctor, after carefully listening to all his recommendations.
Oddly enough, it is young children who form a sense of responsibility in another person. Realizing that the little one needs the protection of an adult, the person becomes encouraged and begins to care for the baby. It really helps to increase responsibility.
Words, words... Remember Teona Dolnikova's song? Indeed, we talk a lot, for a long time, but only a small part of the conversation deserves attention. Very often people throw words to the wind. And this shows their irresponsibility.
Therefore, you should be careful about your words, take care of every letter. And most importantly, do not make vain promises that cannot be fulfilled.
Plan your day
All business and successful people always plan their day in advance. No business person will act chaotically. To achieve success and develop responsibility in yourself, you must plan your day in advance. Every person should master the basics of time management. Planning your day allows you to quickly cope with planned tasks without overloading yourself. Get yourself a diary and write down what you need to do and at what time every evening. Planning your day greatly simplifies your life and allows you to control it.
Additional Methods for Developing Responsibility
Many people find it helpful to write in a diary or notebook. These may be personal impressions and experiences. After re-reading them, you can analyze your mistakes. Notepads are also important in terms of your daily routine: try to plan it out. This can help you gain discipline and self-control over the situation.
Finally, organizational work will help increase responsibility. If you are young and active, you can try becoming a volunteer. Various charitable foundations need them. Volunteers are their voluntary assistants who help in causes that are good for society.
In addition, at work, having taken a leading position, a person should feel not power over people, but responsibility to them. This is the first thing a competent and far-sighted leader should do. Otherwise, he will not gain respect from the staff.
In some cases, the love of employees for their leader saves the enterprise from debt, decline and other negative economic situations.
Go for it! Responsibility sometimes comes on its own, regardless of a person’s will. In this case, there is only one thing left to do - accept it, follow it throughout your adult life. Good luck, and if you liked the article, please share it on social media.
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Train your memory
A good memory in any circumstances will be the key to success. Memory tends to deteriorate, especially with age. To prevent this from happening, it needs to be constantly trained. Learn to pay attention not only to the situation as a whole, but also to the little things. It will be hard at first. After all, many people do not pay attention to the little things. But in fact, it is the little things that make up the big picture. Over time, you will stop forgetting what you need to do, whether you turned off the stove or closed the door. There are a large number of exercises that allow you to train your memory. And you don’t need to think that if everything is normal with your memory in your youth, then it will always be so. The main reason why older people are so inattentive and forget everything is the lack of brain activity in such volumes as it was in their youth.
What does it mean to be responsible for others?
Although each of us is a separate universe with its own uniqueness, we are not isolated systems. Our life directly depends on interaction with others. We are a kind of mechanism where everyone occupies a certain place and performs their specific task. The success of this entire mechanism depends on how effectively we carry out our tasks and how interested we are in helping others. These two factors give rise to a sense of responsibility that continuously accompanies us from the moment of birth to the last minute of our life.
Despite the fact that the sense of responsibility seems passive and directed only at the person himself, in reality, the opposite is true. Responsibility is always active, since every minute we make new choices. Even when it is directed at ourselves, the life of another person always depends on it. Therefore, at its core, by being responsible for ourselves, we are responsible for others, and by being responsible for others, we are responsible for ourselves.
Relationship Psychology: Don't Let Others “Save” You
When a person is in a stressful situation, experiencing pain or anxiety, it may seem to him that his life does not depend on him. At such moments, other people may offer moral or feasible assistance. Relationships with them should not interfere with realizing your share of responsibility in the most hopeless situation. You can allow others to do something for themselves only if there is an urgent need for it, or if it is not possible to do it yourself. In other cases - when they want to make a decision for you, make a choice, teach you how to do the right thing - you need to make it clear that this is your area of responsibility, and only you will decide what to do.
Write down your plans and tasks
One simple but effective way to become more responsible is to start writing down all your plans and tasks. In the diary where you plan your day, you need to write down tasks and plans. This way all your goals will be before your eyes and it will be easier for you to achieve them. If you regularly make a to-do list, you will never have a situation where you forgot to do something. By writing down all your plans and tasks on a piece of paper, it’s easier to distribute them evenly so as not to overload yourself. You can even hang your to-do list in a prominent place so that you always have it in front of your eyes.
Honesty
The main and most valuable quality of any employee. You should not lie to your boss or colleagues, even if the situation forces you to do so. Sooner or later the deception will be revealed, and then there will be many more problems than there were initially. No one will be able to trust you anymore, and this is a direct path to the labor exchange in the near future. Before you lie, think a hundred times whether the game is worth the candle and whether lying can be avoided in this case.
Always take action
In any difficult situation, a responsible person tries to take everything into his own hands, because he always acts and does not think. Even in the most difficult situation, such people pull themselves together and try to change the situation. Such individuals do not give up before the first failure and do not give up. And they go until the very end. Looking at such a person, it may seem that he has an ideal life. But this is far from true. It’s just that a responsible person does not shift his problems to others and prefers to act independently.
Don't expect praise
A responsible person understands that all his actions must bring results and lead to something. Such a person simply does what is within the scope of his duties. The same cannot be said about irresponsible people. Such individuals, if they carry out any assignments, do so only in order to be praised. And if there is no praise, then there is no point in doing something. The motivation for performing your duties should not be praise, but results. Praise does not create the incentive needed to achieve your goals. And a responsible person understands this perfectly.
Live your life
Unfortunately, very often we make two big mistakes when we try to take responsibility for other people. The first is that we neglect the free will of another person and try to impose our vision and understanding of the situation on him. This always leads to internal resistance of this person, which can manifest itself in the form of a quarrel or scandal and, as a result, a deterioration in relationships. The other problem is the opposite of the first. Many try to completely devote themselves to the life of another person, sacrificing their desires and dreams. Thus, as it were, living someone else’s life, and not your own.
By living another person's life, we miss our own. There comes a moment when we understand that the person to whom we have given ourselves is not able to appreciate it and, left without strength, we aimlessly live out the time allotted to us.
The feeling of responsibility for other people is one of the main things in our lives. And we must strive with all our might to develop it in the right direction. This will help us prioritize our lives, create harmonious relationships with other people, and learn to bear the consequences without harming ourselves.
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Thoughts and feelings
Before you say anything, think several times and put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor. Words can hurt more than bladed weapons. Even if the conversation is in a raised voice, there is no need to resort to insults. To stop aggression and calm down, take a few deep breaths and count to ten in your head. It will immediately become easier, and you will understand that the problem is not worth wasting your energy on it and poisoning another person with offensive words.
Do not rush to express sympathy or criticize. Perhaps the person expected a completely different reaction from you. Project the situation that has arisen onto yourself, and it will become easier to come to the right decision.
Find yourself a like-minded person
When you are surrounded by people who themselves are not enthusiastic about the idea of responsibility, then it will be difficult for you to accustom yourself to this quality. Of course, you shouldn't give up your surroundings just because of this. But you still have to reconsider your relationships with friends. If your friends truly want the best for you, they won't drag you down. And to make it easier to train responsibility, find yourself a like-minded person. Or, as a last resort, a person who will show you by example what a responsible person should be.
The value of the quality is “Responsibility”. What is her strength?
The ability to take responsibility and fulfill it is one of the main decision-making criteria when moving a person upward in his career.
This is always the basis of leadership and the growth of a leader, as well as the basis of personal growth: a person’s sphere of responsibility grows and expands - the person himself grows, as a person and as a leader, his sphere of influence, his power, his significance in society grows, and his possibilities. The less a person takes responsibility, the less he fulfills obligations, the less his significance, capabilities, real strength, etc., the less he can do in life.
The cowardly and weak are afraid of responsibility and achieve nothing, often remaining losers all their lives.
Strong and courageous, or those who want to become so, take responsibility, do not run away from it or hide, but do exactly the opposite - use opportunities and take responsibility, expand their capabilities, thereby increasing their influence on situations, on your life and the lives of other people.
Responsibility, as a principle and quality of success, unites all the components of the “I Want-Can-Do” Success Formula. Even a super talented and intelligent person, if he does not have the quality of “responsibility,” most often does not achieve anything in life, loses the trust and support of people, and loses faith in himself due to the fact that he does not fulfill the promises made and taken upon himself. obligations, damaging your face and reputation. Such people, if they do not reveal the quality of “responsibility,” become uninteresting losers.
