How to become a happy person and always remain one - detailed instructions

What is happiness

Modern psychology has begun to seriously address this pressing issue. Gradually, scattered studies turned into science. Now it is customary to discuss satisfaction, well-being, and joy based on scientific experiments and reliable facts.

This is an unsurpassed feeling that arises in a person who is overwhelmed with delight. He glows from within, thinks positively, and protects himself from negative emotions. The source can be completely different experiences - a boat ride on the river, the birth of a long-awaited baby. There is no universal definition. Each person is happy in his own way, depending on individual values, preferences, and interests. Mental and physical health are directly affected by lifestyle and behavioral characteristics.

You can only be completely happy for a limited time. After all, at any second the unexpected can happen, the state of euphoria will be replaced by negativity.

Happiness criteria

Disputes on this issue continue among psychologists. But it is quite possible to highlight the main ones.

1. Favourite buisness. If someone is doing something that brings them satisfaction, great. It’s doubly wonderful when work gives pleasure. It’s not for nothing that a highly paid hobby is considered the best activity.
2. You need to live here and now. You need to be able to feel the present moment. If you only plan for the future, there will be no opportunity to experience the delights of life.
3. The ability to enjoy life. It is much easier for an optimist to learn to be a happy person. He relates more simply to what is happening around him, realizes the value of existence, and enjoys it accordingly.
4. The ability to make choices. People often push themselves into limits; living in society, they understand that this is important. However, one should be freed from shackles in a timely and correct manner. To make your life easier, you need to make decisions quickly, without getting hung up on the little things.
5. Support and love. By far the most important criterion. Without the care and help of loved ones, it is impossible to gain confidence, determination, realize talents and many significant things that are required to feel the fullness of life.
6. Getting rid of envy. By envy, a person destroys himself. This is understood by those people who know how to be happy for others. To achieve happiness, you need to love those around you.
7. Determination. Anyone who does not have a goal does not know what to strive for, what to live for. Achieving our goals helps us develop and makes us better.

TOP 10 tips on how to survive in the 21st century in Russia

Now we will provide you with a list of practical tips that will help mitigate the consequences of the impending crisis. It goes without saying that we don’t know exactly what situation you are in, but we will assume that everything is not so bad - you have a certain financial flow and the opportunity to earn money.

Generally speaking, the advice we will give below is suitable for people of all ages and income levels: factory workers and retirees, housewives and students on scholarships, entrepreneurs and schoolchildren.

1) Start accounting for personal funds

Keep family records of profits and expenses. Create a table in any form convenient for you, make changes daily: fill it out and write down all expenses, even the most insignificant ones.

Some banks offer an online expense tracking function; this option will be useful when the share of money spent from the card prevails over cash.

An example of a banking service for accounting expenses and income

Make a list of things that you think are preventing you from saving, for example:

• get rid of impulsive purchases;
• do not purchase things that you can do without;
• get rid of bad habits;
• etc.

At the end of the month, compare your expenses and income with previous ones, evaluate how your finances have changed, and also make small adjustments to your monthly budget.

What is a bank account: how to open and choose a bank?

How to get extra income and money habits?

2) Say no to bad habits

Analyze not only your budget, but also your behavior. Are there any habits you can do without? Is there anything that can fully be called “money down the drain”?

For example, among such products with 100% probability there may be:

• alcohol;
• tobacco products;
• mobile and computer games, donation;
• sugar, various by-products and substitutes;
• semi-finished products, flour products;
• snacks – chips, salty snacks;
• sweet water, store-bought juices in bags.

Depending on needs, the cost of purchasing food can reach up to 60-70% of the family budget. So how do you determine which product is “good” and which is not? How to reduce expenses on the grocery basket without harming your health?

A good way is to watch material on proper nutrition. Of course, diet is a purely individual thing, and if used incorrectly, it can harm you more than anything else, but you need to know in general terms the value and usefulness of a particular product.

For example, try replacing pasta and dumplings with various grains - now store shelves are full of cereals of excellent quality and at an affordable price, replace sausages with meat freshly prepared at home, drink purified water instead of soda, and so on.

3) Look for additional income

There is always the opportunity to earn additional income, even when there is little free time left.

Often, sites like Avito, Superjob or HeadHunter publish vacancies with offers for remote work, and among them there are definitely offers that will suit you.

In addition, there is an option to make money on the Internet: writing articles, administering groups on social networks, transcribing text or writing paid reviews - these are just some of the possible options.

Another opportunity to make money is selling unnecessary or old things. Even the most useless, at first glance, trash has its own price, and this price is often significantly higher than any expectations.

Try browsing an online flea market and evaluating the selection there, then post a few things that you think are of value to someone. This could be old radio equipment, rare collectibles, jewelry and other adornments, and clothing.

Economical purchase of products for 2 weeks:

4) Save!

Even if you can’t boast of serious income, always try to save. This is important not only for your financial condition, it is also important psychologically - their volume may be very small, but what is more important is that at the end of the year you have a certain amount left “for a rainy day”.

Most often, people choose to deduct up to 10% of their income each month for savings, but even 1% will be a big plus to start with. In addition, some banks offer additional services, for example, rounding of expenses or money transfers, or monthly contributions of 50-2,000 rubles.

Initially, such accumulation will not be noticeable, but by the end of the year you will find that you have accumulated 15,000 - 20,000 extra rubles, which can be invested in any convenient way - buy precious metals with them, exchange them for another currency, or put them in a bank as a deposit .

5) Pull yourself together

Clean up not only your wallet, but also your head. Remember that a crisis is a time of change, and change always means new opportunities. In our case, the most important thing is to understand yourself, rebuild your life so that in the future any crisis will not matter to you.

Think about it: what happens for good during a crisis? Understand your established habits, your choice of profession, your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps you will need to do things that you would not have done in other, more comfortable times?

Yes, such a situation is not only a challenge for our country, but also your personal challenge, by successfully passing which you can become smarter, stronger, happier and richer.

“Sometimes you need to pull yourself together and move on”

6) Understand yourself

How to survive in the 21st century without understanding exactly what processes are happening inside you? The first thing to do, if you haven't already, is to really understand your problems and internal obstacles.

Do you feel slightly depressed, are there any psychological problems, unresolved complexes and fears? You need to understand that everyone has their own cockroaches in their heads, and during a crisis it is important to get along with them, not to push problems inside, because they are the ones that prevent you from developing, prevent you from getting out of the crisis, and prevent you from living a full life.

You need to work on your shortcomings. Times of crisis require crisis solutions, and now is more than ever an opportune time for such work.

Please note: this does not mean that you need to resort to expensive courses and practices. Moreover, during the “trainings” they say things that are obvious to every adult. Remember that no one can understand you better than you.

7) Only you are responsible for yourself

Yes, in the modern world there are hundreds of factors that influence human life. But you need to understand that the current state of affairs depends on them only by a third, if not by a quarter. Everything else is the consequences of your actions.

As soon as you begin to fully control your life, make the most important decisions carefully, get rid of impulsiveness, you will have the opportunity to change everything for the better, “take the helm” and get out of problems anywhere.

It is worth recognizing that in some cases there is not enough motivation for this. But any training, and even this article, is designed to provide this very motivation: after all, if there are so many changes happening in the 21st century, then why not learn an additional lesson from this and change yourself?

Become more confident in yourself

Self-confidence and self-confidence is something that can make life much easier and better, regardless of the situation.

It must be remembered that fears and lack of confidence are poison that can poison even the most successful endeavor. Hundreds of books and thousands of video lessons are devoted to cultivating self-confidence; each person has an individual approach to this, so you can easily find the most suitable method for you.

For example, the most accessible options for increasing confidence can be affirmations - small pieces of paper with text or objects that can inspire you. This could be useful advice or quotes, photographs or objects that speak of past successes, or instructions from family and friends.

9) Think about a career

Do you think you like what you do? Do you think this is the best option for you? It is believed that the work must meet two criteria:

• You must like the work. If you enjoy what you do, it will be easier to succeed and achieve a high level of skill.
• A career should provide experience and knowledge, develop unique skills, and make you a valuable employee - in any economic or political situation.

If your current job does not meet these criteria, then think about what you have wanted to do all your life? Remember - sooner or later you must find an occupation that will give you truly unique skills and abilities, with which you will not have to worry about income, or the situation in the world, and even more so about how to survive in the 21st century.

10) It's never too late to learn new things

A person is designed in such a way that until the end of his life he constantly learns something new and acquires valuable skills. There are three things everyone should learn:

• Development of personality quality, creative thinking and approach. For example, if you decide to become a successful manager, then you should study all related phenomena - marketing, effective selling methods, sales psychology, and so on.
• Study only what is needed to achieve even greater mastery in your chosen profession, ideally, what can be applied tomorrow. The ability to effectively manage your time will also help here.
• Learn what you can do to reach a new career level - get a new position, move to a more prestigious segment, increase your salary.

Remember that we live in a completely new, digital world. This means that thousands of free training courses are available to anyone, which allow you to do everything, and even create an individual curriculum.

I want to be happy: what’s stopping me?

There are many factors rooted in a person’s subconscious that prevent him from receiving satisfaction. The strongest of them.

1. Fear. Fear controls life, prevents you from rushing headlong into dubious activities, but also prevents you from doing successful things. There is a concept - sherophobia - a condition when people deliberately avoid doing things that cause positive emotions. The cause of this specific illness is the belief in the fleeting nature of happiness and the inevitability of the unfortunate events that it entails. Only by overcoming fears can you feel satisfied.
2. Negative attitude. Man is the master of his own thoughts. If the negative ones prevail over the positive ones, he will not achieve well-being. The statement “I can’t become successful” will inevitably lead to low self-esteem and uncertainty. Instead of the phrases “I can’t”, “I can’t handle it”, you need to repeat more often “I’ll try”, “an attempt is not torture”.
3. Echoes of the past. The main thing you need to do to be happy is to promptly let go of the bitter experiences of the past days. You should not constantly look back, revel in despair, grief due to mistakes made. It is worth leaving the past, so you can fully enjoy the present.
4. Other people's dreams. Many live by the expectations of friends, parents, acquaintances, which is absolutely wrong. In trying to fulfill the desires of others, people forget about their own. They cease to understand what they want, what they really need, and only those who are able to go their own way are happy.
5. Waiting for approval. Everyone wants to be loved, but some people try so hard to live up to the expectations of others that they endlessly try to please them. Unfortunately, it is impossible for everyone to like it, everyone has different ideals. It's better to focus on what makes you happy, not what makes others happy.
6. Comparison. It is human nature to compare ourselves to others, but this is a huge mistake. Someone will always be more successful, luckier, smarter. Everyone has their own merits, you don’t need to live someone else’s life, you need to concentrate on yourself and constantly develop. Anyone who can give up the habit of impressing will definitely achieve success.

Real assessment of the situation

To assess your chances, you need to set a goal for yourself - to look at all things rationally, and also realistically assess the current situation. Therefore, you need to understand that the Russian crisis of 2020 does not depend on any other country - it is a natural continuation of purely Russian problems.

Thus, it turns out that even if oil becomes $80 tomorrow and if we are freed from economic sanctions, the country’s leadership will come up with something that will only continue the spiral of “insoluble” problems.

But what we do know is that the entire world will continue to experience economic recession not only in 2021, but also in 2021 and even 2022. Here it is necessary to understand that in the foreseeable 3-5 years the life of an ordinary person will not improve and, at best, national and social economic development will remain at the same level.

Remember, in difficult situations you need to rely only on your own strength, take care of yourself and look after yourself - there can be no question of any outside help. Therefore, you need to learn to mobilize all the reserves available to you: not only material, but also spiritual.

How to stop being nervous and start living, feeling the flow of life.

Another important element to be happy is the ability to feel the flow of life, to feel the present moment.

Here he is, here and now. That moment that almost everyone misses. We live without living.

We set goals, work to achieve them, live in anticipation, then set the next goals. We want to go on vacation, we think about it. We plan something else on vacation. We all look ahead, plan everything and think about how to live and what to do. But we lose sight of the present moment, in which our life actually happens to us.

The main point. Without him there is no life. Of course, there is something, just whatever you want to call it, but this is not life.

After all, the main thing is to feel the flow of life through yourself. Feel this whole flow of constantly changing, running, disappearing and flaring up energies again, flowing from one to another.

This whole kaleidoscope of feelings, emotions, sensations, colors, sounds and pictures, every moment connecting into one big performance of life. All this seethes, boils, lives around and inside us, penetrating through and through, and we don’t even see it.

We see everything except the main thing, except life. There is no difference between a person and the space around him. There is only the unity of everything. And I’m just so sorry if you have never felt this unity in your life, have not dissolved in it, amazed by the scale and splendor of the creation around, within which we have the honor of being and of which we are a part.

What does living mean to me? The influence of nature on the human soul.

And you understand that there is nothing stronger than this awareness. You are the whole world around and its small grain of sand. The body is temporary, it changes, it ages and dies, but there is something that is eternal, what is behind it, what is inside it, what is everywhere. And in such moments life reveals itself. You understand that you are alive.

How to become calm and not nervous?

Feel the moment. Be aware of your presence within the moment of life. Do this more often. It's cool and it makes a difference.

Wherever you are, be there, if you know what I mean. Be in it, be there 100% and more. Feel yourself inside the moment, inside the space, be aware of the space itself, which has absorbed everything that you see and feel.

And again, don’t analyze, let go.

Let the moment exist as it is. To be calm and not nervous, relax and allow him to be like that, don’t resist. Become aware of yourself within the moment. Read about humility and you will understand what I mean.

And here comes the thrill of life, joy and peace, when you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, much less change the world around you. Here and now you can be happy. This is true.

You will act, you will move forward, we are not talking about inaction. It is important to feel life itself here and now and listen to yourself from the inside. Then everything you do later will happen with inner awareness and a living connection between what is inside everything and external reality.

What to do to survive in the 21st century if the situation is not simple?

The above tips can apply to absolutely anyone. But it’s one thing when you are not yet 30, and all doors are open to you. But what to do if you are already over 50, or moreover, already over 70?

Or do you not have even the smallest opportunity to get out of the crisis unscathed? Next, we will discuss exactly how you can improve your situation.

1) Expand your social circle

It has been proven more than once that socialization and expansion of connections are the most important engine of career and personal growth. Simply put, you need to acquire a large number of purposeful acquaintances.

Understand that such people will be able to help you in some way; it is likely that one such acquaintance can change your life. For example, thanks to this you can find a good job, and simple communication with more successful people should in itself motivate you to take action.

Sometimes you shouldn’t hush up your problems, and here’s why:

11) Have some close relationships.

You don't need a hundred close friends, but you do need one or two people in your life who are important and will be there to help pick you up when you fall.

This could be your spouse, your parents, a sibling, or a friend on your other side.

So how many friends?

About 5 close relationships, according to the book Finding Flow:

"National surveys show that when someone says they have 5 or more friends with whom they can discuss important issues, they are 60 percent more likely to say they are 'very happy.'"

However, the number may not be as important as the effort you put into the relationship.

We all need someone to remind us that we are not alone in this life and to help us smile when things don't go our way.

Happy people have someone they can rely on. It makes them feel secure in the knowledge that they can turn to themselves in times of need and celebrate victories when they happen.

Connection makes life happier. If you are looking for happiness, don't go on a journey alone.

Although we may walk through this world alone, it is always more fun to spend precious time with people, doing things that bring you joy.

When we are surrounded by people we love and who love us, we feel safe.

When we feel safe, we are more likely to let things slide off our backs, less likely to let drama get the better of us, and more likely to see the good in people.

We have a circle of trust that we feel protects us, our interests, and we feel safe being ourselves.

14) Move.

Research shows that physical stress can reduce mental stress.

The Harvard Health Blog says that aerobic exercise is key for your head, as well as your heart:

“Regular aerobic exercise will bring noticeable changes to your body, your metabolism, your heart and your mood. It has the unique ability to excite and relax, provide stimulation and calm, resist depression and relieve stress. This is a common phenomenon among endurance athletes and has been confirmed in clinical trials in which exercise has been successfully used to treat anxiety disorders and clinical depression. If athletes and patients can benefit psychologically from exercise, so can you.”

According to Harvard Health, exercise works because it reduces levels of stress hormones in the body, such as adrenaline and cortisol.

It also stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural pain relievers and mood lifters.

Exercise helps keep your body strong and your mind sharp. Train your brain and body by thinking thoughtfully about your life, where you are going and how you are going to get there.

Train your body to be ready for the amazing life you are about to live. There have been many studies that show that people who exercise regularly are happier.

You might not enjoy running a 4-minute mile, so don't do it. Find a place where you can take a leisurely walk and enjoy the company of yourself, your breath and the sound of your feet on the ground.

12) Buy experiences, not things.

You might want to head to the local mall when life gets tough; After all, a little retail never hurt anyone.

But does this really make people happy?

Sure, you may get instant gratification, but you know as well as anyone that the happiness gained from buying things doesn't last.

Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, has been researching the impact of money on happiness for two decades. Gilovich says:

“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make ourselves happy, and we succeed. But not for long. New things excite us at first, but then we adapt to them.”

If you feel like spending money, spend money on experiences. Go see the world. Live your life on planes and trains and in a car on the road to nowhere.

According to Gilovich, “Our experiences are a bigger part of who we are than our material possessions. You may actually like your material. You may even think that part of your personality is connected to these things, but still they remain separate from you. On the contrary, your experience truly is a part of you. We are the sum of our experiences."

Get out and see what life is made of in other places. Spend time in beautiful parks, challenging hiking trails, and by the ocean as much as possible.

These are places where you will find your happiness, not a shopping mall.