Hello everyone, dear friends! Writes Lyudmila Redkina. They say happy hours don't watch. Have you ever had such a feeling in reality? I remember when I went to the park with my loved one, time flew by very quickly and unnoticed... It was truly a state of happiness, but it quickly ended and everyday life began. But why does this happen: all their lives people strive to achieve this very state, but it still doesn’t come? In this article we will try to determine what happiness is for a person - a process, a goal or moments - and how it is expressed.
Definitions of happiness from great people
Great people became great because they achieved success in their lives and became famous for something. I don’t know what about their own happiness, but they definitely know a lot about feelings and achievements. Being a great, famous person is a great test, and not everyone passes it with dignity. Therefore, from their own experience, from their observations, they defined this complex concept of “happiness”.
Let's see what it is in their understanding:
- “Many seek happiness in areas above their level, others below. But happiness is of the same height as a person” - Confucius.
- “The great science of living happily is to live only in the present” - Pythagoras.
- “You must believe in the possibility of happiness in order to be happy” - Leo Tolstoy.
- “Everyone chases happiness, not noticing that happiness follows on his heels” - Bertolt Brecht.
- “Time, money... Happy is the one who does not count either one or the other” - Alexey Ivanov.
- “In the building of human happiness, friendship builds walls, and love forms a dome” - Kozma Prutkov.
- “The greatest happiness in life is the confidence that we are loved, loved for being who we are, or despite the fact that we are who we are” - Victor Hugo.
- “Happiness does not come down to having money, it lies in the joy of work and accomplishments” - Franklin Roosevelt.
- “A man’s happiness or misery is chiefly the work of his own hands” - John Locke.
- “A person who is not busy with work can never enjoy complete happiness; on the face of an idle person you will always find the imprint of discontent and apathy” - Heinrich Goethe.
- There is no complete happiness without an admixture of suffering” - W. Shakespeare.
- “Nine-tenths of our happiness depends on health” - Arthur Schopenhauer.
- “If happiness consisted only in bodily pleasures, we would call happy the bulls who found peas to eat” - Heraclitus of Ephesus.
- Happiness is like fairy-tale palaces, the doors of which are guarded by dragons, and you must fight to master them” - Alexandre Dumas.
- “Unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself” - Publius Sirus.
- “People can only be happy if they do not consider happiness to be the goal of life” - George Orwell.
- “To enjoy happiness is the greatest good; to be able to give it to others is an even greater one.” - Francis Bacon.
- “One of the main signs of happiness and harmony is the complete absence of the need to prove anything to anyone” - Nelson Mandela.
- “Happiness is like health: when you don’t notice it, it means it’s there” - I. Turgenev.
- “Happiness lies not so much in possession as in the process of mastering the object of our desires. In order for us to be happy, our happiness must always lack something” - C. Helvetius.
This is the understanding of great minds. You may not agree with something. But there is truth in every statement. I think that each of these quotes is written with life experience and stuffed cones.
What prevents us from being happy
I know for sure that it is impossible to experience a state of happiness if you do not have inner harmony and peace. There are things that prevent us from finding this harmony and feeling happy.
Resentment, fear and anger
Feeling resentful, like feeling angry, definitely does not make you happier. They destroy inner peace and make you feel unhappy or angry. There is no point in suppressing these emotions. You need to learn to deal with them. Remember that you are controlled by the person you are angry with. So both anger and resentment only harm you. But the people at whom your negative emotions are directed do not care at all. So is it worth giving in to destructive feelings at all?
When fear is too strong, it can suppress any of your actions. You will be afraid not only to commit an extreme act, but also any action in general. Even the one that will help you succeed. There is also an interesting phobia – sherophobia. It represents the fear of being happy. Yes Yes! It happens! A person is afraid to become happy. He believes that happiness is fleeting, and something bad will inevitably come after it.
Idealism
Many people have ideal images of their life, appearance, family, and future partner in their heads. But the problem is that these ideals cannot be achieved. Partly because all these illusions are imposed by the media and social networks. In pursuit of a pumped up and slender body, like one popular blogger, a person already forgets why he needs it and whether he really wants it. And dissatisfaction with your appearance and the constant desire to improve yourself prevents you from experiencing true happiness.
Often, in search of the ideal woman or man, a person remains lonely for the rest of his life. Well, or until he realizes that the ideal does not exist. And you yourself are imperfect. And that's absolutely normal. All that is needed for a happy relationship is mutual understanding, respect for each other, a spark of passion and a good sense of humor for both. And the shortcomings may turn out to be so insignificant that they are not worth your attention.
Envy
With the advent of social networks, there are more and more unhappy people. Many people follow popular personalities, their classmates, and classmates on Instagram. Among these acquaintances there are always those who are more successful, richer, better looking, and constantly travel. And a feeling of envy arises, corroding everything positive and good within us.
The next time you feel yourself starting to envy another person again, think about whether you are ready to give up everything in your life to become the one you envy? From parents, from boyfriend or girlfriend, from husband or wife, children, friends, from yourself. This method works well. I tested its effect on myself. I tried to mentally imagine myself in the place of another person without my family. I didn't like it at all. I love people close to me too much.
In addition, photographs on social networks are just a reflection of a small part of a person’s life. And they post exclusively joyful moments. It is not customary to flaunt your problems and failures. Most people want to appear successful and happy in the eyes of others.
It is better to focus on your own life, develop your strengths and stop obsessively monitoring how others live. No matter what impression you make on others, you will not be happier. So maybe we should stop worrying about this?
Past
It's hard to step into a happy future when you're carrying heavy baggage from the past. This baggage contains mistakes made, former loves, lost connections with friends. Until a person lets them go, he will not be able to breathe easily, fully enjoy the present moment and be happy.
Why suffer and be sad about what has already happened and cannot be returned? Past experience is given to us in order to learn from mistakes and not repeat them in the future. Draw conclusions - and move on with your life!
Procrastination
Are you familiar with the situation when, instead of doing an important task, for example, your direct job responsibilities, you do anything at work, but not this - hang out on the phone, drink tea, chat with colleagues? Most people are familiar with this condition. And to a certain level it is even considered normal.
However, if a person constantly puts off doing important things, then in the end he either gives up on them altogether or tries to do everything as quickly as possible, because deadlines are running out. And this greatly affects the quality. As a result, stress accumulates in a person, feelings of guilt develop, and productivity decreases.
The longer a person is in a state of procrastination, the more problems he has in life and even psychological illnesses may arise. So maybe you shouldn’t procrastinate and put off until later what you can do right now?
Negative thoughts
You've probably heard more than once that thoughts are material. We attract into our lives what we think about ourselves. Therefore, when a person once again tells himself that he has no money and he cannot become successful, then so it will be. These attitudes have already taken root in his subconscious, which means there is no point in even trying.
As soon as another negative thought appears in your head, immediately change it to a positive one. For example, tell yourself that you will definitely try to succeed. This will be another step on the path to happiness.
The pursuit of wealth
The desire to become rich in itself is not bad. But there is a danger that having achieved what he wants, a person will remain alone. There will be no family and friends nearby, and his whole life will be endless work.
Of course, it’s not easy to be happy without any money. It seems to me that this is completely impossible. Therefore, the main thing is to observe moderation in everything. You need to find a business that will bring you joy, a sense of self-realization, and then the money will appear.
Unjustified expectations
We may not live up to other people's expectations, just as they may not live up to ours. Why expect anything from another person at all? He doesn’t have to be cheerful, polite, honest and meet your invented requirements. If it suddenly matches, great, but if not, don’t be upset.
Learn to accept life and people as they are. And don’t try to please others. It is impossible to please absolutely everyone, and there is no need to. It's better to focus on what really makes you joyful.
What does happiness mean to me
The feeling of happiness is worth a lot. It is with the desire to be happy that people chase money, remove “extra” people from their path, and strive to “grab” more of everything. But does it bring the desired feeling? NO!
The pursuit of money, the pursuit of fame, the pursuit of happiness is just an unconscious desire to fill the screaming needs in your psyche for security, respect and acceptance of others, and freedom.
So in this pursuit there are those who consider happiness as the goal. They reason like this: “When I earn my first million, I’ll be happy,” “When I become famous in this industry, I’ll live happily,” “When I finish graduate school, go to work at a leading IT company, I’ll be a happy person.” But the years go by, but there is no satisfaction with life, life flies by in a 4x4 m office and where is happiness?
For me, happiness is balance and harmony in all areas of my life. Therefore, sometimes this word is considered difficult, because it is very difficult to maintain this balance. My happiness is in simple things and moments; in my own words it can be described as follows:
- a loved one is nearby;
- my health and that of my family;
- the ability to travel;
- freedom from opinions and judgment of people;
- faith in God, in the best, in yourself and the people around you - faith in something gives strength and motivation to live;
- good living conditions (more or less repairs and a neat house);
- when I have free time and I can spend it as I see fit;
- I have money for everything I need and a little more (well, “a little” is different for everyone)));
- activity and desire to act and change.
By the way, one day I seriously thought about this question, because many things in life did not suit me. Then I perceived happiness as a goal. And, naturally, she was very upset that achieving it can be very difficult, considered herself an unhappy person and, of course, blamed her loved ones for this!
But then I realized that I myself am “the architect of my own happiness,” and that after all, this desired feeling is in the little things, and not at the end of life. Therefore, I stopped living in dreams and consciously began to look for positive moments in life. And it worked!
A selection of useful materials for those who want to become happy
So, I return to the review of materials from the Vikium website, which I mentioned at the beginning of the article. Below I will describe four courses that, in my opinion, anyone who lacks happiness in life should take.
Brain Detoxification
Description : The course is small, includes only ten lessons. It will help you get rid of all negative thoughts. Negativity can be associated with fear, anger, resentment, the feeling that you are a failure, etc. Usually, when such thoughts are spinning in your head, it is difficult for you to switch to something else and, of course, you still cannot become happy. it turns out.
When you complete the training, you will immediately notice how easy it is for you to concentrate on work, relationships, or everything that fills your life with joy. You will also see that you have begun to sleep much better at night, restless dreams and, especially, nightmares, have completely stopped bothering you.
The bulk of the material here consists of practical exercises. Theory is kept to a minimum. There are videos and audio recordings that you can listen to several times. They motivate well for success in all areas of life.
Author : Victor Shiryaev.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Brain fitness
Description : This course is aimed simultaneously at getting rid of all sorts of negativity that interferes with your happiness and well-being, and at developing the brain. You will learn to concentrate, develop attention, push away stress and any bad thoughts, and motivate yourself.
Brain fitness is expensive due to the special device that comes with the materials. It's called a neural interface. It was created by developers from Vikium; you will not find any analogues in RuNet.
The neural interface will analyze the functioning of your brain and compare the frequency of electromagnetic waves with your condition. You will be interested to see how the electromagnetic field changes when you are depressed, scared or, conversely, happy. All data is uploaded to the service website, and in response it provides a list of recommendations.
You can purchase the neural interface separately; it costs 11,990 rubles. The device works smoothly.
Authors : developers of the Vikium project.
Cost : 12,990 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Emotional intellect
Description : I recommend that you take this course because it helps you understand emotions. Sometimes you ask a person: “Are you happy?” He says: “No.” "Why?" - “I don’t know myself.” To prevent this from happening, you will need “Emotional Intelligence”.
After twenty lessons of the course, you will easily notice the emotions that are trying to unsettle you and upset your mental balance. You will notice that you have become much calmer, more confident, and that you pay more attention to yourself rather than to the negativity around you.
Author : Oleg Kalinichev.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Goal setting
Description : I recommend this course to anyone who feels unhappy. Perhaps the fact is that you simply do not have a goal to which you are going, or you cannot properly plan its achievement or allocate your time.
The course will teach you goal setting and help you not lose motivation midway. It is very small, only 6 lessons, but they are 90 percent practical. The materials remain with you forever, and you can return to them even after several years.
Authors : Vikium project specialists.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Examples of happiness from life
I'll start right away with an anti-example.
Everyone remembers the famous Russian fairy tale about the fisherman and the fish. What ultimately killed the old woman? Her dissatisfaction, inability to rejoice and be satisfied with what she has. Having received youth, a palace and wealth, she remained a curmudgeon and a muttering bitch in her soul. Therefore, she returned to her broken trough.
HAPPINESS IS IN CONTENT
An argument from literature will also be Pushkin’s poem “Ruslan and Lyudmila” - here the heroes overcome obstacles and achieve the only goal - to unite with loving hearts. It is after its achievement that this peace, joy and complete satisfaction with the present moment comes.
In various shows we can see examples of real bliss when “amateurs” perform complex dance tricks, vocal sequences or musical passages.
About six months ago I talked to a girl who went to Uganda as a volunteer. So she told me that in this nationality there are only 4 dishes that they prepare every day, and they have never eaten anything else. How happy they were when these people tried mashed potatoes, stew, and pizza. For them it was real happiness...
For my children, complete satisfaction with life comes at sea, or when they are fooling around with dad, or when their favorite crab stick salad is on the table! In general, I noticed that it is much easier for children than adults to feel happy.
And finally, 2 examples from famous people:
- Andrey Grigoriev-Appolonov, 44 years old, lead singer of the music group “Ivanushki International”: “It’s simple. For me, happiness is loving and being loved.”
- And for Ben Carson, happiness was to perform the world's first operation to separate conjoined twins.
And there are many such examples when people strive to achieve something important and achieve it when they love, feel love and are healthy.
OPINION OF THOMAS MORE
The English scientist, philosopher and statesman Sir Thomas More brought to us his understanding of the answer to the question of what happiness is in his book “Utopia,” which he wrote in one thousand five hundred and sixteen.
In it he told us about
an island where all citizens live happily, implementing the basic principle of communism - from each according to their ability, to each according to their need (except for slaves, of course, because they are not citizens),
that is, he described a classless society of self-government and election, the main unit of which was the family, and the question of what happiness was was resolved once and for all.
But, Sir Thomas More, being the Lord Chancellor of England under King Henry the Eighth, for his freethinking in deciding the question of what Happiness is, received a very categorical answer and was beheaded in 1535 (before his death he behaved very courageously and even joked) but was subsequently Canonized by the Roman Catholic Church and canonized.
How to become happy and successful
To improve your life, become happy, successful and rich, you can take an online course or training. Learning from a person who has walked this path will help you believe in yourself and achieve what exactly you want in this life.
For me, such a person is Pavel Volya.
His online course “Improver Express” will teach 3 main things:
- Initiative.
- Action.
- Efficiency.
The training consists of 23 chips. It was they who helped Volya turn from a simple beggar Penza guy into the highest paid presenter of the TNT channel and my favorite stand-up comedian. According to Forbes magazine, Pavel earns $2.5 million annually.
He has a happy family. Pasha is married to Laysan Utyasheva, and they have two beautiful children: Robert and Sofia.
The course is suitable for both men and women from 16 years of age.
How the training will take place:
- You receive theory and practical assignment.
- Do it.
- If you did it right, move on to the next one.
If you don’t mess around and do all your homework responsibly, then pleasant changes await you: at work, in your personal life, with relatives and friends. This will lead to more money, connections and success.
Cost – 15,000 rubles. with access forever, but there is also the opportunity to take the course for 3,000 rubles.
If within 2 weeks you decide that the course is not suitable for you, your money will be returned.
After registering for training, a girl from Pavel’s team will contact you and answer all your questions regarding the training. You will discuss payment terms with her.
Also in this article you will find reviews of all courses of the “Willpower” project from Pavel and Laysan Utyasheva.
Children's happiness and its reasons
Children cannot make decisions on their own; they live under the constant control of their parents, and perceive the world around them under their influence. First of all, it depends on them whether their child will be happy, or will begin to feel flawed, unsure of himself, and complex.
In childhood, every word heard from adults is taken seriously and remembered for life . Some parents make the grave mistake of instilling in their children that they must prove in their lives that they are worth something, otherwise they will remain “nobody” and “nothing.” This approach is dangerous because the child will develop the destructive opinion that he is incapable, weak, a real “Nobody.” Moreover, this belief can “linger” with him until adulthood. Do you think he can become truly happy?
If scandals or showdowns occur in families, it is the children who suffer from this, first of all . The child believes that he is the culprit of what is happening, and he begins to develop first a guilt complex, and then an inferiority complex. Children perceive all situations differently from adults, and therefore their happiness depends primarily on the attitude of their parents towards them.
If you instill in a child that he is capable, smart, that he is loved and cared for, then he will treat himself with sufficient self-respect, and it is quite possible for him to become happy in adulthood . A child’s happiness is to feel needed, loved, desired. If all parents understood this, humanity would have entire generations of happy people.
Money can not buy happiness
Neither money, nor fame, nor material things, nor a specific person will make you happy if you are unhappy inside . Yes, the effect of joy and satisfaction will be, but temporary.
I'm sure you're ready to argue with me. Or better yet, share a famous phrase from the Internet: “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it’s better to be sad in a new BMW than in a minibus.”
This is true, but the phrase itself says the whole point - you will be sad. Even if you have a new BMW and do not develop inner happiness, you will create a bunch of more reasons for yourself that will make you unhappy.
For example, lack of money for gasoline, or the eternal fear that the car will be stolen, or, even worse, an accident in which your car and even you yourself will suffer. Unpleasant events can come from other areas.
I often meet people who are already very rich, or have found the ideal partner. But they still don't feel happy. Because happiness comes not from the external world, but from the internal.
You need to learn to be happy now, without pinning your hopes on the future or on external things and events.
Right today I will be happy. This means that I accept the words of Abraham Lincoln, who said that “most people are only as happy as they set their minds to be.”
Happiness comes from within, it is not something external. The future is in the present... There is no tomorrow. The day of man's salvation is today.
(c) Dale Carnegie. "How to stop worrying and start living"
So let's learn to develop happiness within ourselves today. So that your wishes are easily fulfilled, and every day brings joy, and there is a brand new BMW, and so that there is always money for gasoline. And the most important thing is that, no matter what, regardless of external circumstances, you are happy.
