Sometimes relationships with other people begin to bring pain, disappointment and other negative feelings. A logical question arises: why does a person need communication at all? Isn’t it easier to reduce any social contacts to a minimum? Many people do not understand the value of other people and interactions with them.
Is it worth communicating and why?
Why is communication necessary?
A little-known fact: if a person is isolated from society for a long time, he will begin to degrade. Changes in the psyche will appear. Man is a herd creature, and we cannot live and develop normally without communication and interaction.
Psychologists understand communication as interaction through words, gestures, body position, facial expressions, and facial expressions. It is very important for a person to have people like him around him.
Why is communication so important?
- A person receives confirmation of his “I” from others. Personal identification occurs. This does not seem significant to the conscious mind, but it is very important to the subconscious mind. We look into others like mirrors, and they show us who we are.
- Communication allows you to compare yourself with others. We receive an assessment of our qualities, actions and deeds. This is how a person sets boundaries for himself—moral barriers.
- We receive approval, sympathy and support as confirmation that our feelings are correct and justified. When people like us tell us that they felt the same way in such a situation, it becomes easier to survive the stressful situation.
- A person experiences pleasure when he shares his feelings with others. Joy will not be complete if there is no one nearby who can be happy for you. And going through grief alone is even more difficult. This is also a property of the psyche: to consult, to share.
This is why communication is important for humans. Thanks to him, he does not lose himself. He focuses on other people, compares himself with them. This is how societies of people are created in which it is not customary to kill or humiliate. People build a peaceful life that is convenient for the majority. Asocial personalities exist and have always existed, but they are rather the exception that only confirms the rule. For them in our society there are special correctional institutions: offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, prisons.
If people lived separately and did not communicate with each other, we would have a world similar to a mental hospital. A person cannot be mentally healthy while in isolation for a long time. Remember Robinson Crusoe: he talked to the ball. If he didn't do this, he would go crazy.
Psychology of communicating with girls: how to start a conversation to interest any girl
Men use conversation to exchange specific information, seek approval from other men, and confirm their opinions. For girls, communication is a means of emotional exchange. To interest a girl in a conversation, you should start it with an unobtrusive compliment. Praise is attractive and encourages reciprocal engagement.
The topic of conversation is suggested by the initiator, but it is important to take into account the girl’s interests. If she continues the conversation out of politeness, but is not interested, the conversation will be crumpled and strained.
To arouse interest, it is important to let your interlocutor know that she is special. Crude flattery repels, but sincere sympathy wins. It is important to behave confidently, but not intrusively. Respect is the main rule of conversation, so in case of direct refusal, you cannot insist on continuing the conversation.
Mutual understanding in communication
This is, perhaps, the basis lying on the surface. It is mutual understanding that people consider the main benefit of communication. This is why a person needs communication: he feels that others understand him. He realizes that if others act and feel the same way, then he is right.
It is not possible to reach mutual understanding with every person. This is influenced by many factors.
For example, different temperaments: if a melancholic person sobs in three streams, a choleric person will only get angry and condemn such a reaction.
Another example: different living conditions. When a poor person loses his wallet, it is perceived much harder than if it happens to a rich person.
They say: “The well-fed are no friend to the hungry.” And that's true. If a single girl is late for a date and tells her married friend about it, she will not understand the depth of her disappointment.
The benefits of communication
Not every person has friends. This happens: there are people who have a hard time getting used to others, who are very different from those around them. There are also those who simply don't crave connection or don't take the time to bond with others. For such people in situations of stress, psychotherapists' offices are recommended. This is what a person needs communication for: it heals.
Even if you don’t have a friend to whom you could confide, talk about your problems and get support, communication is necessary for the psyche. When a person does not trust others and keeps everything to himself, problems accumulate. This is how muscle tension occurs in the body, which can provoke any disease, except, perhaps, syphilis. As one satirist wrote: “All diseases are from nerves, only syphilis is from pleasure.”
If you talk about the problem, it can be resolved completely or partially. In any case, discharge occurs. The benefits of communication for people are invaluable. As such a release, psychologists advise keeping a personal diary. But it is much more effective to find support from your interlocutor.
Knowledge and experience
Why does a person need communication? The short answer is to share information. This gives knowledge and experience. In addition to our own experience, we adopt the experience of other people. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, you can learn from children, not only from the older generation. Through contacts with other people we gain new knowledge about everything. This promotes personal development. Our environment greatly influences us and shapes us as a person. Therefore, parents are often worried about their children, who choose their friends from the category of hooligans. What can they teach their child?
But this opinion is controversial. Every person has a certain set of qualities. And even psychos have something to learn. It all depends on the person: we ourselves decide what to “take” from others. After all, even educated people with a good reputation can learn bad things. For example, arrogance. And bullies can teach you how to stand up for yourself. They can explain that you should not leave a friend in trouble, they will show you what courage is. All people, without exception, are equal in this regard. And everyone has a virtue and a negative side. This is why a person needs communication: by contacting different people, we ourselves choose which traits to adopt. But in any case, we gain knowledge and life experience.
Looking at Things
Why is communication necessary? People do not always know exactly what to do in a given situation. We often engage in wishful thinking and act for the wrong reasons. Communication helps to look at the problem from a different angle. A person begins to understand a situation better when he talks about it with someone. The experience of other people allows us to adjust our actions and not make mistakes. This is what communication gives to a person. If, of course, a person is smart enough to listen to others.
Reasons for isolation and reluctance to talk about your problems
But it also happens that attitudes from childhood prevent you from talking about problems. This occurs if parents considered the expression of negative emotions to be bad, impolite and shameful. This happens especially often in the stereotypical upbringing of boys: “Don’t cry, you’re a man!”, “Control yourself, you’re not a girl!” Girls also get it: “Don’t cry, your nose will swell, you’ll be ugly!”, “Don’t whine, mom is ashamed of you!” That is, the child is forbidden to express emotions and is not taught to analyze them and find a worthy and correct way out: tear the paper if you are angry, or take a brisk walk.
As a result, a person grows up and does not understand how and what to do with anger and resentment, and keeps them to himself. Of course, this will not affect an open and sociable child - he will still tell everyone what happened and who upset him. And the already closed introvert will withdraw into himself even more.
But when you are in pain and hard, you need to understand: it is important to think about how to relieve the pain, and not about how to look strong or comply with some unwritten rules.
The ability to empathize: empathy
Empathy is a term that means the ability to empathize. Empaths are people who take other people's misfortune to heart as if it were their own. In essence, this is a heavy burden, but here we do not choose. Empathy is not a developed habit, but an innate trait, like temperament and character.
Empaths are wonderful conversationalists and good friends. They always help because they also experience the pain that befell their loved ones. Such a virtue is not always good, especially for empaths themselves. They experience many times more than other people.
How to spot an empath.
- May cry while watching a movie.
- Drags stray animals into the apartment.
- He is a good listener.
- Helps not only with advice.
- Responsive.
- Often worries about trifles.
Such people are deeply receptive. They are wonderful friends. And this is another reason for communication: you will sympathize, you will feel relief when someone experiences identical feelings after hearing about your problem. Empathy is characteristic of every person, but to varying degrees. As a rule, friends show empathy towards each other.
Why does mistrust arise, how to get closer to your interlocutor?
Personal characteristics and situations often interfere with full rapprochement. Tension arises between the interlocutors; they are wary and withdrawn. Rapprochement is prevented by:
- an initially negative attitude towards the interlocutor;
- unwillingness to listen to opposing opinions;
- the desire to suppress the interlocutor, to impose one’s opinion;
Getting closer is easier if the participants in the conversation are friendly, have similar views, and belong to the same age group.
Reflection in communication
A very important property of communication is that through it we engage, among other things, in self-knowledge. The interlocutor may pay attention to how you think and how you perceive certain situations. This allows you to know yourself better and understand how you think. This is called reflection. Without communication, reflection turns out to be one-sided. And it’s harder to be objective.
Communication from the perspective of psychology
Psychologists have long established that closed people who have no friends and communicate little become antisocial. This threatens the emergence of psychological problems. Some become obsessed with themselves and their conditions. This is how hypochondria appears. Today this problem is very common. Other people do not share their experiences, they keep everything to themselves. They feel the burden of loneliness and become rude and callous.
It is communication that makes people human. This is the most important mechanism, it is inherent in man by nature. And people should not forget about this. Yes, it’s possible without communication. But this will leave its mark on the psyche over time. Whereas in communication a person is healed.
The role of communication
Let’s summarize the above and list the main positions of communication in a person’s life.
- Self-knowledge.
- The acquisition of knowledge.
- Help and support.
- The ability to assess the situation comprehensively, based on the opinion of the opponent.
- Empathy.
- Protection.
- Personal identification.
- Self-esteem.
- Psychological release.
A person receives all this through communication.
Terms of communication
There is a certain charter for the interactions of individuals. It is common for colleagues to greet with a nod, exchange smiles, and express approval with gestures. These are types of nonverbal communication. Look, body position, facial expression. Lovers can communicate without opening their mouths. Close people have long learned to understand each other without words.
Stages of communication
Standard set:
- visual contact (people see each other);
- greeting (people communicate with gestures or words that they have noticed each other);
- exchange of pleasantries - let's call them conventions
At this point, the conversation may end with a phrase signaling a desire to end the interaction. “Okay, I have to go,” “See you, hello wife.” If people have common topics, they are discussed, after which the conversation moves to the final stage.
- Ending the conversation.
Communication functions
The interaction of individuals has a number of functions.
- Transfer of information.
- Self-knowledge in intrapersonal communication.
- Receiving benefits, benefits.
- Secular communication that does not provide informational benefit: people talk about generally accepted topics.
- Possibility of self-confirmation.
- Influence on an opponent, manipulation.
Rules of business conversation: what not to talk about during negotiations
The peculiarity of a business conversation requires adherence to the following principles:
- dosage of information;
- expediency;
- cooperativeness;
- veracity of information;
- clarity of thoughts;
- the desire to understand the interlocutor’s thoughts;
- taking into account individual characteristics.
All participants must follow the rules of business conversation. Business negotiations do not touch upon extraneous topics, focusing around specific activities. But at the same time, it is important to take into account ethical standards and norms of behavior in order to make communication productive and comfortable.
Types of communication
There is a division into types of communication.
- Primitive - objects do not receive benefits, they only exchange pleasantries.
- Formal is a form of greeting imposed by society consisting of meaningless phrases.
- Role-based - subordination, people accept their assigned roles and perform communication rituals.
- Spiritual - deep understanding of each other. This usually happens with friends or lovers.
- Secular - limited to general phrases.
- Manipulative - communication with the aim of obtaining benefits, influencing a person or situation.
What helps people communicate
Communication is based on verbal and non-verbal signals. People always pick up on unsaid things on a subconscious level. For example, if a person is annoyed, but does not show it, the opponent can recognize this by gestures: crossed arms, looking to the side, flared nostrils. But this happens on a subconscious level, a person does not analyze the behavior and gestures of the interlocutor - his brain does this, sending signals to the subconscious. People call it a sixth sense when an employee suddenly realizes that there is no point in asking for leave now, although the boss has given no reason to think so. The brain has already scanned his behavior and sent a signal.
It's not just words that help people communicate. Communication occurs at the level of glances, gestures, and body position. An experienced psychologist will immediately figure out which of the couples in a cafe is in a quarrel and which is happy. People, captivated by each other, hold playful glances, their shoulders are completely turned towards each other.
Basic Principles for the Beneficial Exchange of Thoughts
To get satisfaction from any conversation, there are many universal rules of communication between people. By applying them in practice, many have mastered the skill of data transmission in the modern world.
Sincere interest in people
It is much easier to start and continue a conversation if you are constantly attentive to your interlocutor. It is important to remember his name, hobbies and interests.
Listening skills
One Eastern sage advised to be “quick to listen” than to speak. Therefore, you do not need to interrupt your interlocutor to express your thoughts. It is better to show self-control and respect for a person than to show off your knowledge.
Showing Kindness
In a conversation, you should not focus on the shortcomings of your interlocutor. Otherwise, a conflict may flare up. One must avoid arrogance and not ridicule the mistakes of others.
Choice of words
Often during conversations people hurt each other with words. If you don't apologize in time, the conversation will take an unpleasant turn. Therefore, it is important to constantly monitor your speech.
However, the most important rule of communication is a smile and friendliness. They should never be neglected. Even if the conversation takes on an unpleasant tone, a smile will help smooth out all the corners. Applying all the rules of communication will help develop good manners and a decent reputation in society.
