Constructive communication: concept, basic rules and features. Communication with people

The ability to give feedback is one of the components of effective communication. Often it is necessary to clearly explain why an idea is not suitable, or to identify shortcomings in a colleague’s work. However, criticism can become destructive and, as a result, worsen the relationship with the interlocutor and demotivate him. Together with the director of the Center for Corporate Training and Development of T&R Alexandra Zhirnovskaya, we talk about the principles of constructive criticism and how to perceive it.

What it is?

Constructive communication is the ability to convey your thoughts to your interlocutor objectively, without any value judgments, with respect for someone else’s point of view. Simply put, this is the ability to speak, listen, and most importantly, hear your opponent. At the same time, it is important to manage your emotions without showing a violent reaction to what your interlocutor said.

If you feel tension in communicating with others and find yourself in conflict situations almost every day, then you need to be more attentive to such a category as communication culture. Get ready for the fact that you will have to reconsider a number of moral and ethical values, as well as acquire some useful skills.

Where is the truth?

Positive thinking has a lot of benefits if you learn to translate positive thoughts into constructive ones. Rational thinking is primarily positive thinking; this is its basis. But at the same time, it is important to draw the right conclusions and soberly assess the current situation. The task of rational thinking is to do everything so that your positive thoughts turn into life and become real. The development of constructive thinking in younger schoolchildren is an integral stage of the learning and education process.

What prevents constructive communication?

Constructive communication is not as difficult as it may seem. However, without noticing it, people can create barriers to meaningful dialogue. Key negative factors in communication can be described as follows:

  • A value judgment about a situation or person. You can never be completely sure that the other person completely shares your views. That is why it is important to speak with facts, without giving arguments for or against.
  • Words denoting obligation. By telling a person “you should...”, you are setting him up against you in advance. Nobody likes to be subjugated. Talk to the person so that he himself wants to fulfill your wish.
  • Intrusive questions. If a person does not want to disclose some information to you, you should not interrogate him. This will not lead to success, but it can cause a serious conflict.
  • Diagnosis of behavioral motives. Don't try to convince a person that he is acting a certain way for any specific reason. “You are afraid”, “you are jealous” and other phrases, even if they are true, can offend the interlocutor and cause an attack of aggression in him.
  • Denial of the problem. Even if the situation seems trivial to you, it can be of decisive importance to your interlocutor. Have respect for other people's experiences.
  • Move to another topic. Even if you are terribly uninterested in what the interlocutor is talking about, you should not change the vector of the conversation. This is tactless and offensive.
  • Competitive moment. Often, when listening about someone's successes and achievements, people try to outdo their interlocutor, demonstrating their superiority. This does not characterize a person in the best way.
  • Commanding tone. “Do”, “bring”, “say” and other words in an incentive mood turn the interlocutor against you and heat up the situation. Everything you want to achieve from your opponent must be in the form of a request.

Dispute rules

The ancient Greeks, famous masters of polemics, called the art of argument eristics. And it was not for nothing that they called argument art. Constructive communication is a process that should bring moral satisfaction to both parties, serving to achieve the main goal of the conversation - learning the truth and correcting the picture of the world. It is important to follow a few simple rules.

The first thing you should pay attention to before starting a conversation is the mood and well-being of your opponent.

No matter how interesting the topic that needs to be discussed is, normal communication will not work if one of the parties to the conversation:

  • irritated;
  • exposed to severe stress;
  • in a hurry or very busy;
  • feels unwell, etc.

Psychologists do not recommend overusing sharp denial in conversation. Instead of a simple but categorical “no,” it is better to say “I agree, but...” or “Excellent, however...”. The use of such forms smoothes out overall tension and helps the conversation become more productive.

This technique benefits both participants in the conversation. The one who uses the above forms seems to be telling the other that he accepts his opinion, but wants to express his own, somewhat different point of view.

Another important rule of constructive communication: no dryness! Dialogue is a conversation between two or more persons, and not a monologue of one of the participants in the conversation, occasionally interrupted by monosyllabic phrases of another or others.

Concerned with the search for truth, correction and addition of the picture of the world, opponents should take an equally active part in the conversation. This rule works even for silent people, whom nature has deprived of oratorical talent.

A discussion aimed at knowing the truth cannot be conducted in an official tone. It is unpleasant. Dry officialdom does not allow interlocutors to feel free and express their opinions without embarrassment.

Each participant in the conversation needs to show affection for the interlocutor and respect for his values ​​in order to establish a trusting atmosphere of equality and creativity.

What else prevents constructive communication?

Communication with people is not always constructive. The following factors can become obstacles to a productive dialogue:

  • Discussion of the past. Even if the problem was relevant no earlier than yesterday, there is no point in returning to it. Events that have occurred cannot be changed, but they often become the cause of conflicts. It is possible to turn to the past only if the existing experience will help in solving current problems.
  • Wrong choice of interlocutor. Sometimes a person begins to discuss a problematic issue with someone who in no way can contribute to its solution. The powerlessness of the interlocutor in this matter can be perceived aggressively, and therefore a conflict on this basis is inevitable.
  • Trying to change others. If you have a specific problem, then you should focus on fixing it, and not on trying to change your interlocutor.

Constructive idea - Great Encyclopedia of Oil and Gas, article, page 2

Constructive idea

Page 2

In many modern devices, the electric machine and the mechanism associated with it represent a single complex, united by a common design idea. Sometimes such unification reaches such an extent (in built-in structures) that neither the electrical machine nor the mechanism can exist separately. [16]

The Soviet Union is ready to negotiate on all current issues of peace and security and to pay attention to any constructive ideas of other states. [17]

Some enterprises also install xanthate grinders in addition to turbo solvents to speed up the dissolution process, but in this case the meaning of the very constructive idea of ​​the turbo solvent disappears and the energy consumption indicators deteriorate. [19]

One of the trends in the development of electric drives is the gradual rapprochement of the converter of electromechanical energy (electric katana) and the consumer of this energy of the machine-tool. As such convergence occurs, both the electric machine and the machine-tool experience increasing mutual attention. In many modern devices, the electric machine and associated with it the mechanism represents a single complex united by a common constructive idea. Sometimes such unification reaches such an extent (in built-in structures) that neither the electrical machine nor the mechanism can exist separately. [20]

Phomvihane said that these goals are served by the friendship and cooperation of Laos with Vietnam and Kampuchea, and the policy of peace and good neighborliness pursued by all these countries. Constructive ideas in this regard were put forward at the meeting held in June. Vientiane conference of foreign ministers of the three Indo-Chinese states. [21]

We carefully study the opinions and initiatives of the states located in this part of the world. Original, constructive ideas are already appearing and entering the circulation of regional communication. The peculiarities of the worldview of the peoples living here, their historical and political experience, and cultural identity can really suggest a lot in solving the problems of the region, understandable and acceptable to everyone. [22]

A composition similar to a prefabricated carpentry structure is shown in Fig. 3.5.5. The feeling of expediency comes from the fact that such forms do not require additional fastening devices. The composition most clearly conveys the constructive idea of ​​a fixed connection, since it is based on the simplest experience of technical practice, familiar from childhood, which is also common in many things used by humans. [23]

He is also poor in his constructive ideas. The Education Law adopted by the Federal Assembly is not implemented by executive authorities in many respects. [24]

In the early stages of design, there is some confusion between the concepts of feasibility and reliability. The development of the design of a demonstration prototype, which should prove the feasibility of the design idea, is carried out by the design organization with additional assistance from the reliability service. When conducting a design review or design report, the reliability team may discover errors or omissions and require parts of the design to be corrected. However, the development report is not primarily prepared for this purpose. From a reliability point of view, additional design requirements are important, the fulfillment of which guarantees reliable operation of the product for a specified period of time under specified environmental influences and other operating conditions. [25]

The authors would like to thank the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and the Ford Foundation for their support during the work on the manuscript. The authors are also grateful to their colleagues at MIT and Michigan for constructive ideas and criticism. [26]

At best, in the process of their reproduction, it was possible to find design ideas and engineering and technological solutions that were more appropriate for rocket technology of this class. [27]

Not a single political force of that time understood that during the period of fundamental reforms the most expensive and fragile thing in the country was the political center. Not because the policy of centrism is perfect, but because the center becomes a shock absorber between extreme forces, painstakingly identifying constructive ideas proposed by different sides. [28]

The search for layout options for both the main parts and the device as a whole is accompanied by sketching. Sketches consist of a small number of lines depicting a constructive diagram devoid of details and only sometimes those parts of it that explain and develop the main constructive idea. The imperfection of sketching is compensated by the speed of drawing. Speed ​​is necessary, since the designer must consider many options, and the difficulties of graphical implementation should not, especially at first, slow down the search. [29]

The synectic group, having received an analogy that deserves special attention, tries to develop it, to describe the properties and capabilities of the imaginary object. Then the expert, who should be an expert on the problems under discussion, explains the problem situation that has arisen, helps the group in a free manner to play through all the leading questions and identifies useful and constructive ideas through rapid analysis of statements. [thirty]

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Barriers to communication

Why doesn’t constructive communication always work out? Psychology explains this by the existence of barriers, among which it is especially worth highlighting:

  • Avoidance barrier - avoidance of contacts due to the fact that the interlocutor may have a negative impact. This feeling can be based both on personal hostility and on objective factors.
  • The barrier of authority is associated with the fact that some people have unconditional trust due to their social status or personal characteristics. All others are deprived of such favor.
  • A phonetic barrier is a banal failure to perceive the interlocutor’s speech. This may be related to speaking speed, volume, speech impediments, or voice timbre.
  • The semantic barrier is related to the vocabulary that the speaker uses in his monologue. Even if a person is talking about a serious issue, using slang terms or slang expressions can turn off the listener.
  • The barrier of shame and guilt arises from self-doubt. A person is embarrassed to express his thoughts, which is why it is simply impossible to build a constructive dialogue with him.

How to relieve emotional stress during a conversation?

Constructive communication requires a cool mind, and excessive emotionality will be inappropriate. This leads to loss of control over the situation and serious conflicts. To relieve tension, you can use the following techniques:

  • Do not build a defense or use offensive tactics. If you understand that you are being unfairly accused, do not criticize your opponent in response, because this is a demonstration of a low level of culture. It’s also not worth defending yourself and making excuses, because this is a sign of weakness. The most reasonable solution is to calmly and thoroughly explain your point of view.
  • Identify the source of negative emotions and try to eliminate it. It is quite possible that the aggression is not directed specifically at you, but is associated with some external stimuli. Try to solve them and calm your opponent.
  • Demonstrate openness and willingness to understand your interlocutor. Even if the person is aggressive and angry, you must demonstrate your ability to listen. By allowing your opponent to speak out, you can count on further communication in more even and calm tones.

Grouping topics

One of the most important ways to train constructive memory is to group topics to think about. You should define the boundaries of your thought processes and not go beyond them. For example, divide these topics into 4-5 groups. Don't think about everything in a row, being distracted by everything that happens around you. Keep in your head only those thoughts that will lead to achieving a great goal. Concentrating on what is important is where the key to success is. Psychologists like to say that constructive thinking is the ability to lead your life, to become its master. And this method of training allows you to learn how to design, plan, and organize.

Basic conditions for constructive communication

Human life is inextricably linked with communications. With their help, we transmit and receive important information, solve issues of varying degrees of importance and complexity. To extract only benefits and positive emotions from interactions with people, a culture of communication is necessary. It means the following:

  • Your interlocutor must be perceived as an equal. Regardless of whose social status is higher, who has the right point of view, you need to be respectful and dignified.
  • You need to respect the other person's right to their own point of view. Even if you consider it fundamentally wrong, you do not have the right to force your interlocutor to come over to your side.
  • The importance of the personality and actions of the interlocutor cannot be underestimated. What he does is his life experience and moral values. These categories require respect.

Psychological norms

There are certain rules regarding the psychological situation of communication. They are usually called the principles of constructive dialogue. Let's look at the main ones below.

The principle of equal security of communication for both participants in the dialogue means the impossibility and unwillingness to cause any harm or damage to the partner in the information exchange.

The principle of decentral orientation. Communication is conducted with the aim of achieving prosperity for the business being discussed. Therefore, during a constructive dialogue, it is unacceptable to think about causing harm to this most common task for the sake of the selfish interests of one of the parties.

The principle of adequacy of what is said to what is perceived. It is unacceptable to deliberately distort the meaning of information conveyed in communication in order to distort the opponent’s position.

What does constructive dialogue mean: what is important is not what one of the interlocutors says, but how the other understands him; The sender of the message is responsible for the accuracy of communication, so people who are misunderstood have themselves to blame.

Techniques for constructive communication: 8 rules

It would seem that what could be simpler than communication? From early childhood we perceive and reproduce speech. However, in order for communication with people to be pleasant and useful, you need to be guided by the following rules:

  1. Speak your opponent's language. If this is a simple person with an average level of education, you should not throw dust in his eyes with complex terms and sophisticated expressions. And vice versa. If the interlocutor is a head taller than you, you need to strive to look decent and not get lost against his background.
  2. Emphasize your respect for your interlocutor in every possible way. This should be manifested not only in words, but even in gestures and facial expressions.
  3. Look for common ground with your opponent. If you find that you have something in common (life circumstances, character traits, etc.), it will be much easier for you to build a dialogue.
  4. Be interested in the problems of your interlocutor. If he wants to share something with you, be sure to listen.
  5. Let your opponent speak. Even if you fundamentally disagree with his point of view, he should be able to say whatever he thinks about it. Then you will have the right to present detailed arguments.
  6. Use the rule of “verbalization of emotions.” Speak out what you feel. This will relieve tension and allow trust to be established.
  7. Be specific. If you have options for getting out of the situation, be sure to present them. Otherwise, you should not continue the dialogue, because it will lead you to a dead end.
  8. Don't perceive your interlocutor negatively. If he does or says something wrong, don't attribute it to his personality traits. Consider this erroneous behavior caused by coincidence.

When is criticism appropriate?

It’s worth expressing your opinion about a person’s work or actions if you want to help him and not to insult or offend him. If a person posts the result of his activities online or presents them to colleagues, he should prepare for comments in advance, listen to them carefully and thank them for the help provided. When evaluating any subject or activity, a critic needs to determine whether he is the target audience and whether he has the right to evaluate this work, since there is a possibility that the shortcomings he identifies will be insignificant and will not affect anything.

Face-to-face consultation

What are the features and advantages of face-to-face consultation?

Skype consultation

What are the features and benefits of Skype consultations?

Criticism is allowed to those people who will subsequently interact with the opponent and deal with his unfinished mistakes.

The main feature of all judgments is the relevance of the opinion and the understanding that it will benefit the person being criticized and will not offend him. This behavior should be followed when commenting on a person’s appearance. It’s stupid to assume that she will immediately make an appointment with a stylist just because she was told about it. Criticism should be where without it complete failure can occur.

Listening Techniques

The features of constructive communication are so numerous that mastering them requires some time and further regular practice. Interestingly, you will have to learn not only to convey, but also to perceive information. In this regard, the following listening techniques are distinguished:

  • Active (reflective) listening involves constantly reflecting information. To show your interlocutor how attentive you are to his words, you need to constantly ask some clarifying questions. This will demonstrate your respect for your opponent and will also allow you to maintain attention without losing the thread of the conversation.
  • Passive (non-reflective) listening involves full concentration on the information. At the same time, you do not interrupt your interlocutor or interfere in his monologue. To show your opponent that you are paying attention, periodically nod your head to show that you are listening and understanding.
  • Empathic listening involves empathizing with the other person. You must not only understand his emotional state, but also share it and demonstrate it in every possible way.

Why are we so sensitive to criticism?

Many studies have concluded that praise has a positive effect on the result, but various types of comments have a negative effect. We react to reproaches more sharply and remember them faster than compliments. One of the reasons for this phenomenon is evolution. During the evolutionary period, we learned to quickly respond to negative stimuli. In the wild, such signals portend mortal danger, so it is necessary to respond sharply to them in order to survive. Now everything has changed, but we react to troubles in the same way - emotionally and strongly.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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The next reason why we are overwhelmed with emotions when someone criticizes us is a new experience. We have a negative attitude towards stimuli that are unusual for us.

Empathic Listening Technique

If you want to build constructive interpersonal communication, it is recommended to master the technique of empathic listening. It implies compliance with the following rules:

  • Set yourself up to listen. This means that at the time of the dialogue you should forget about your own problems, events around you, and emotional experiences. Clear your emotional background to understand and accept the feelings of your interlocutor.
  • Reacting to your partner’s words, convey in your monologue everything that you were able to feel. The more accurately you capture the emotion of your interlocutor, the closer and more trusting your relationship will be.
  • Be sure to pause after answering. This time is allotted for the interlocutor to think about your words, collect his thoughts and continue the dialogue. Do not perceive this as “awkward silence” and do not try to fill this time period with some of your own thoughts or statements.
  • Empathic listening is understanding and accepting the emotional state of the interlocutor. But under no circumstances try to explain the nature and reasons for his experiences.

Using facts

Quite often we hear the following phrases: “You don’t understand anything about this”; “I’m sure it will be more correct this way”; "I know better". On the one hand, a person wants to give weight to his opinion, but in reality such phrases are absolutely groundless and have no basis in argumentation. It has already happened that people do not always know how to correctly use the available facts.

For example, to the question: “Why should we go on vacation to country “A” and not to country “B”?” the answer follows: “Because I think so.” This phrase is familiar to many married couples. It’s just not entirely clear what exactly a spouse means by this. Is vacation in country “A” cheaper? Or is the nature and conditions better there? Never forget about specifics and arguments!

How to teach your child constructive communication

Communication with a child is, first of all, an educational process. Of course, in kindergarten or school, a child will be taught to speak correctly and competently, and to clearly express his thoughts. However, this is not enough. The ability to listen and respect the interlocutor should be instilled by parents. This process includes several essential components:

  • Pay attention to your own speech. It is common for a child to repeat after those around him. That is why he should always have an example of constructive communication before his eyes.
  • Build your communication with your child as you would with an adult interlocutor. Of course, you shouldn’t operate with complex categories, but it’s also forbidden to lisp. In the course of communicating with parents, the child must learn to build arguments, defend his point of view, in order to then successfully apply these skills in society.
  • Allow your child to take the initiative. Even if he says something stupid, let him speak, then politely and thoroughly explain why he is wrong. Do not deprive him of the opportunity to argue and defend his point of view.

Quantity must equal quality

Productivity depends on the effort you put in. It is important to ask the question correctly. For example, you will be asked to come up with as many options for using an ordinary saucepan as possible in five minutes. Of course, some thoughts will come into your head in these five minutes. But if you pose the question differently and ask that in the same five minutes you come up with specifically 20 options for using the pan? During the same time, there will be several times more ideas. This example once again proves that correct goal setting is the key to success.

Rules for constructive communication with children

As yesterday's kids begin to grow up, they begin to rebel, and therefore it becomes increasingly difficult to find a common language with them. Constructive communication between children and adults should be based on the following basic rules:

  • Clearly set the boundaries of what is permitted. This needs to be constantly reminded. Although this can be seen as coercive and authoritarian, children should not be able to discuss these rules. Otherwise, they will begin to manipulate adults, establishing their own rules.
  • Look for the cause of inappropriate behavior not in the child's character, but in your relationship. As a rule, disobedience, rebellion and other negative manifestations arise when mutual understanding with adults has cracked. Restore trust and only then solve the underlying problem.
  • The boundaries you set should not contradict the interests and age-related needs of the child. As you grow older, the rules need to be changed, otherwise the reaction will be very harsh.
  • Praise your child for the slightest achievements and successes. This will instill confidence in him and give him an incentive for new achievements.
  • The rules of communication with the child must be strictly agreed upon by all people who take part in the educational process. Otherwise, it will be difficult for children to learn and get used to them.
  • Punishment must flow directly from the offense. It must also be proportionate to the offence. Otherwise, the child will develop vindictive intentions towards his parents.

Constructive idea - Great Encyclopedia of Oil and Gas, article, page 1

Constructive idea

Page 1

The constructive ideas of such algorithms have a clear geometric interpretation: in space X it is necessary to construct a hypersurface belonging to a given class of hypersurfaces, which, if possible, with fewer errors, will separate the vectors of the training sequence of one class from the vectors of the training sequence of another class. [1]

The design ideas of Sviyazev, Stepanov, Lukashevich and Bylchinsky were further developed in modern furnaces with bottom heating, in particular in numerous versions of the so-called bell furnaces. [2]

Design ideas that were used to create domestic models of electrolyzers of the BGK type. Therefore, work is being intensively carried out to create high-power bipolar electrolyzers. [4]

The most constructive ideas about the psychological and physiological essence of work activity were formulated by I. M. Sechenov [23], I. P. Pavlov [19], A. A. Ukhtomsky [25], L. S. Vygotsky [3], A. N. Leontiev [13], K. [5]

The design idea of ​​the speed variator shown in Fig. [6]

The sketch layout expresses only the basic design idea of ​​the device; the final layout reveals this idea more fully. [7]

The design of any technical system begins with the search for the main design idea. For hand tools, simple structures, small machines based on well-known physical effects, this search can be quite effectively carried out both by a designer-inventor and an artist-constructor, designer. As the complexity of machines increases, for a designer who does not have deep specialized knowledge in a narrow field, this opportunity decreases; the search becomes collective. Both artistic design (design) and simply the design of an industrial product begin with the search for a basic technical idea, a technical solution. Both the inventor and the designers are equally convinced of this. [8]

At this stage, it is determined whether new constructive ideas can be used to solve the identified problem. To do this, it is necessary to consider a large number of options and the possibility of solving each of them, which, of course, does not necessarily imply consideration of unpromising proposals. That is why it is advisable, first of all, to formulate the assumptions that the options under consideration must meet. [9]

Only after conducting such an analysis, a professional designer puts forward various constructive ideas. [10]

In conclusion, I cannot help but thank the organizers for the constructive idea and good organization of our meeting, which is businesslike and frank in nature, the results of which will allow us to concentrate our efforts in the interests of the prosperity of Russian society. [eleven]

Cylindrical, as well as rectangular-shaped electrolyzers that are close to them in design ideas and equivalent in terms of performance (types Nelson, Krebs, Allen-Moore, etc.) are still used to some extent in the USA, France, Japan and other countries, although they are already outdated . [12]

The result of the third stage of strategy implementation is an operational program of action designed to implement those constructive ideas that were developed in the two previous stages of preparation for restructuring. [13]

To eliminate this drawback, the U-2 nozzle shown in Fig. 35.3, g, the design idea is similar to the U-1 nozzle; it has a movable spindle (needle), which, without turning the nozzle off, can clean the hole and regulate the amount of water coming out. [14]

To eliminate this drawback, the U-2 nozzle shown in Fig. 64, g, similar in design to the U-1 nozzle, has a movable spindle (needle), with which, without turning the nozzle off, you can clean the hole and regulate the amount of water coming out. [15]

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