How to understand that you have fallen in love with a girl: psychology and physiology

What is love?

Love is a long-lasting and strong feeling of affection, implying sympathy for a person, the desire to be close and experience joint emotions, and also to make him happy.

Anyone who has encountered this feeling knows that love implies the strongest affection. A person in love simply cannot imagine life without someone for whom he has romantic feelings. It is interesting that even today psychologists and other scientists cannot unambiguously explain the nature of love and the mechanisms of its occurrence.

Analyzing the nature of love, psychology considers three key manifestations of this feeling:

  1. Internal drug
    . Our well-being and mood are determined by a complex set of chemicals that can influence nerve cells. States of love and falling in love cause powerful releases of substances that make a person happy. The nervous system seems to give us a hint: “Here it is!” You feel good when he's around. Remember this!
  2. Nervous disease
    . Despite the surge of energy, it is difficult for a person in love to concentrate, his memory deteriorates, and his actions often become illogical. The brain functions in an unnatural way, preventing a person from fully controlling his own actions.
  3. Habit
    . The riot of hormones and neurotransmitters subsides over time. But by this moment people remember with whom they feel good, so they continue to love each other, but with a calmer and more balanced love. At the same time, they begin to act rationally again, and mutual feelings no longer prevent them from working and doing other important things.

If love is unrequited: how to restore mental balance

If feelings are not reciprocated, the advice of psychologists will help you cope with this situation:

  • accept that this person does not need you;
  • try not to meet again or keep your distance if this is not possible (for example, you work together);
  • engage in self-realization and self-development (physically in particular);
  • make your old dream come true;
  • find yourself a hobby;
  • talk to a friend about your experiences, he will find words of support;
  • don’t be angry with others, don’t think that you can no longer have a relationship with another person.

Read more articles about relationships at this link.

How do lovers behave?

The manifestation of love will be expressed differently in a guy and a girl, a man and a woman. Gender plays a big role in relationships, and this is confirmed by the rules of interpersonal psychology.


Young guys and grown men behave the same way. They strive to please their chosen one, begin to take care of their appearance, and are actively interested in the problems, affairs and hobbies of the woman they like. A man in love begins to show signs of attention. This is not only flowers and gifts, but also the desire to spend as much time as possible in the company of the chosen one. He enjoys communicating and talking with her on various topics.

Not all men are ready to immediately confess and expect reciprocity, but some non-verbal signs indicate their interest. This includes constant eye contact, sexual attraction, and other expressions of affection.


Women in love begin to take an active interest in their chosen one; he becomes the topic of most of their conversations with others. When a girl truly loves, she does not notice the man’s shortcomings and strives to idealize him. All women try to interest their chosen one as much as possible and attract his attention, for example, they begin to take care of him, change their appearance, and often use other methods. True love, even unrequited love, can make a woman happy. This is manifested in changes in her mood, appearance and gaze.

If this is not necessary at all

What can you advise a man who says: “I fell in love with a young girl, but I don’t need it at all!”? Dealing with your feelings will be oh so difficult. However, there are several ways to force yourself to forget about the object of your desire:

  1. Work. You need to throw yourself into work (study). A guy shouldn't have time to think about anything. You need to load yourself, as they say, to the fullest.
  2. Fight fire with fire. If an adult man falls in love with a young girl, he just needs to switch to a lady of his own age and court her (even if this does not lead to the development of any events).
  3. Fewer contacts. To forget a person, you need to stop dating him. The fewer contacts, the better.
  4. New. Well, it’s also good to get carried away with something new. This could be a new hobby that can captivate a person no less than falling in love itself.

Why and for what do they love?

Sometimes they love in spite of everything, common sense, the slander of relatives, they just love and that’s it, quietly and tenderly, often saying to themselves, “well, how mine he is, this dear and beloved person.” And at the same time your heart skips a beat with happiness!

I remember how one of my friends said that “I even like his hoarse voice when he plays and sings with a guitar”... it’s definitely about love!

One of the men, oh, click, here it is, mine! But this does not always happen, because love is a calm, good feeling and it does not come immediately. With love, the amplitude of vibrations is practically absent, there is simply “everything on top” and EVERYTHING!

Instructions from psychologists

Because of the surging feelings, some people stop thinking soberly. This is fraught with deterioration in relationships. Advice from psychologists will help prevent a number of problems:

  1. Be sincere and natural. Intuition is the strong side of the female sex. By trying to create the illusion of toughness, a man is likely to push his lover away. Nobody likes deception.
  2. Self-confidence is an attractive male quality, but on condition that it does not turn into self-confidence.
  3. The golden mean between interest in the girl’s affairs and unobtrusiveness is important.
  4. You need to accept your life partner with all the pros and cons, avoiding attempts to remake him for yourself.

Be prepared for the fact that the girl will not always agree with you. Problems and finding solutions are a natural part of relationships.

How long does love last?

Due to the fact that the brain is unable to constantly maintain the activity of the areas responsible for maintaining the feeling of falling in love, this condition can last from one and a half to three years. Therefore, the expression “love lives for three years” is not true; it would be more correct to say: love lives for three years, and then love begins (not for everyone).

However, it was found that such a strong feeling can last much longer in the case of unrequited love. The lover seems to be stuck in this feeling and cannot move on. This phenomenon was called “Russian love”, when a woman has been unrequitedly in love for a long time and is therefore lonely and cannot build a new relationship. According to statistics, six percent of Moscow women do not get married precisely because of this phenomenon. By the way, “Russian love” is exclusively for women.

How to tell if he's really in love

The reasons that a man hides his captivity with Cupid from a woman can be completely different. Excessive natural shyness, timidity, uncertainty in reciprocity. Professional status can also become an obstacle if, for example, this happens between a teacher and a student, a doctor and a patient. The presence of a wife will also be a factor preventing the manifestation of feelings.

However, it also happens that a man only creates the appearance of falling in love. His real goal is not a strong relationship, but a fleeting affair. He needs to have fun, have an interesting time, satisfy his physiological needs.

Signs of sympathy

A person can feel sympathy for several people at the same time. It occurs immediately after meeting. This is a feeling of affection for a person, which is characterized by the following signs:

  • emotional attraction to a person;
  • common values, beliefs, interests;
  • a positive reaction to the appearance, character traits, behavior of another person;
  • goodwill and increased interest;
  • feeling of similarity.

Sympathy often arises in friendship, where there is affection between people and pleasure in communicating with each other, but sometimes develops into falling in love.

Young guy's behavior

Young age is the main obstacle for those who want to hide their emotions. All of them are visible to the naked eye. And the most striking symptom is a change in behavioral reactions.

The young man feels embarrassed in the presence of a girl, his face turns red, he looks down. The awkwardness grows as their gazes intersect. It gives away the play of hormones and the timbre of the voice, which can sometimes break. Another signal of sympathy is confused and nervous speech, long pauses, and the inability to choose the right words and topics for conversation. The guy doesn't want to seem stupid and tries to think through every word before he says it.

Physiologists say that a rapid pulse, dilated pupils, profuse sweat, and trembling of excitement when touching a passion indicate an increase in the level of hormones, which is typical for many young men at the time of communication with their lovers.

Impulsive attacks towards interlocutors are not uncommon. This is how the younger generation attracts the attention of the fair sex, declaring their masculinity, courage, and determination. Youthful maximalism is also expressed in categoricalness, inability to adequately perceive criticism, and attempts to test the strength of others. Often, aggression and increased conflict during this period are due to the characteristics of demonstrative behavior and the desire to “work for the public.”

The actions of a young man in love are controlled by fears and instincts. For example, due to the fear of being rejected, it is very difficult for him to take the initiative at the time of acquaintance: worrying about rejection will negatively affect his self-esteem. And the instinct of competition explains the “strange” behavior of a young man in love where his passion is present: he tries in every possible way to protect her from their attention and prove that he is better than others. A natural feeling of jealousy makes him see each of them as his rival.

On a subconscious level, one of the main tasks of a young man in love is the spread of genetic material. This is how psychologists explain the polygamy of the stronger sex. To transfer as much seed material as possible, a man sends signals to several potential partners at once. The development of relationships usually occurs with the girl who gave the greatest number of reciprocal impulses.

An immature youth, due to his inexperience, often mistakes sympathy and sexual desire for a real feeling. Even if love comes, he does not know how to behave correctly: he is jealous, does not take into account the girl’s opinion, tries to control everything, manipulates her. If a young man in love behaves too intrusively and acts like a not entirely adequate person, psychologists advise explaining to him that this interferes with the development of the relationship. If there is no behavior correction on his part, the girl should stop meeting with him.

Signs of falling in love

Falling in love is a very vivid feeling that has the following signs:

  1. Falling in love is a feeling that is often called “love at first sight.” This type of romantic emotion is characterized by a strong emotional and physical attraction between one person and another.
  2. Falling in love is born when you see another person and begin to admire his appearance, behavior, speech, and so on. Falling in love consists mainly of emotions; with its onset usually comes a feeling of euphoria, a rush of adrenaline. This strong emotional outburst is compared to the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” and is not controlled by the person.
  3. A person in love extols the object of his passion, ignoring his shortcomings and exaggerating his strengths. He is overcome by passion, he is fascinated by another person and considers him the limit of his dreams. There is also a desire to like, to become better and to do pleasant things. Falling in love does not necessarily imply the existence of a relationship: you can be unrequitedly in love.
  4. Falling in love is based on passion and infatuation, so it often does not last long. Falling in love appears instantly and can just as quickly disappear if interest in a person disappears, or turn into true love. It takes effort from both partners to maintain the spark. People who move from one relationship to another, seeking to constantly feel in love, may lose sight of true love because it takes time to develop.
  5. Falling in love is short-lived. There is a saying that love lasts 3 years. In fact, it is not love that lasts this long, but infatuation.
  6. Falling in love often manifests itself depending on the partner. You constantly think about your lover, want to be with him as often as possible, abandon other things for his sake, and so on.

Act like her boyfriend!

Before you rush into battle and try to win the heart of a lady, you must understand that most of your actions in relation to her should be made from the position of a contender . You must make it clear to her that you are not her friend or friend. You are satisfied with only one position: she is your girlfriend, and you are her boyfriend. So always behave accordingly.

Your behavior should always be masculine! A girl should see strength and confidence in you. Therefore, do not delay the first physical contacts. You have to start touching her at the right time. Don't delay this! Read “ How to touch a girl correctly? – Kinesthetics » to gain more information.

You have to lead the relationship! You must break through blocks and relieve tension, you must initiate closer and closer rapprochement. This is how nature ordered it and nothing can be done about it. If you remain stupid, your siege may last a very long time. Believe me, girls themselves don’t like it when things drag on. At this time, the quicker guy may be quicker.

Love at first sight - is it possible?

In the crowd of people they made eye contact. For a moment, everything around stopped, and my head flashed: “It’s her!”, “It’s him, the one!” They, not noticing anyone around, go to meet each other, and, having met face to face, their lips merge in a kiss. And a romantic melody about eternal love plays in the background.

A familiar scene from a melodrama or fairy tale. In fact, at first sight only strong sympathy is possible, which, subject to reciprocity, can eventually develop into love. The reason for this is the duration of the formation of that same love. It is similar to growing a tree from a seed; it grows and gets stronger for a long time and only with proper care.

In addition, the sympathy that arose from the second or third meeting can also develop into love.

You're definitely in love if you notice a change in your behavior

A girl is in love if her behavior has become different from usual:

  • I always want to look attractive. If before you could go out without makeup and in an old tracksuit, now everything has changed. You dress up for any occasion, and especially to meet your beloved man. Striving to be beautiful is always a wonderful thing, so continue to take care of yourself. Buy beautiful clothes, make face masks, play sports, take care of your hair - your chosen one will certainly like it.
  • Girlfriends and relatives notice that you look different. You shine just like that: there is a happy smile on your face, your mood is high, you are active and cheerful. All this is thanks to the warm feeling that has settled in your heart.
  • You do everything to find out as much as possible about the subject of your crush. When a guy you like appears, you want to know everything about his life, habits, hobbies. You search for information of interest on the Internet, ask your friends about the man, compiling a la “dossier.” The more you learn about your loved one, the more you are attracted to him. This is wonderful!
  • You are looking to meet a guy. Even if you haven’t agreed on a date, you come up with different ways to supposedly accidentally catch his eye. At the same time, you wear bright clothes so that he will definitely pay attention to you. You can even use prohibited techniques, for example, wearing a short skirt, doing an unusual hairstyle or makeup. Be careful not to overdo it.
  • On dates, you talk out of place. If you really like a guy, your brain doesn't always work properly. It happens that you say something stupid, and then, when analyzing, you don’t understand why you put it that way. As if it were not you, but a completely different person. Or, on the contrary, next to the object of desire you become dumbfounded and cannot utter a word, you just smile and that’s it. This is also a clear sign that you are truly in love.
  • In each of his phrases you see a special meaning. It seems to you that he is saying the sweetest words in the world. Be careful, often against the backdrop of falling in love, women hear something that is not what really is. If a guy is not yet in love with you, later you may be seriously disappointed, because you have already thought of everything for him: a wedding, a family and four children.
  • It seems to you that he is your destiny and all the events happening around lead you only to him. You found out who he is by horoscope, checked compatibility, and are planning a future life together. Take your time, because not all men are good. This is the first stage of true love, wait until the feelings subside a little and take a sober look at the situation.
  • You think he's perfect. Women in love idealize the man they like, noticing only the good sides in him. Even if someone says negative things about your partner, you don't want to hear them because for you he is absolute perfection.

The main differences between love and infatuation

People often find themselves confusing infatuation with love, mistaking temporary infatuation for true deep feelings, or missing out on true love in search of permanent passion. To avoid such self-deception, study the following basic differences between love and infatuation:

  1. Duration of feelings. Love doesn't happen overnight, it's an ever-growing process. It is predictable and logical, since it arises between family and friends. Falling in love is random, a person never knows when he might fall in love. This feeling appears suddenly, like a flash, but over time it can disappear just as fleetingly. Falling in love does not necessarily last long as it is based on infatuation or passion. A crush can fade quickly, but love grows stronger over time.
  2. Perception of disadvantages. Loving people know and accept the shortcomings of their other halves. They are ready to live with a person, accepting him with all his shortcomings. Falling in love blinds people, so they do not notice the shortcomings of the objects of their infatuation and consider them flawless. There is no illusion in love: you love the other person for who he really is.
  3. Emotions . When falling in love, people experience a strong emotional outburst, and feelings of love are based on actions. Even though the emotions may be more intense, true love is much stronger than falling in love.
  4. The power of feelings. Falling in love is relatively superficial, love is a very deep feeling. Loving relationships are characterized by trust, respect, and devotion, which may not be fully manifested or absent when falling in love.
  5. Love is a calmer feeling than falling in love. Falling in love makes you want to spend all your time with a person. Loving means giving personal space to a person and trusting him.
  6. Willingness to overcome difficulties. The bond between people in love may not be strong enough to withstand difficulties. The bond between loving people is so strong that it allows them to cope with life's problems and, no matter what, always stay together.
  7. Relationship perspective. Falling in love occurs at the initial stage of a relationship, sooner or later it passes. Love is a long-term feeling that does not go away. True love stands the test of time.

Choosing the right tactics

The main thing to do when you fall in love is to remain calm and not show anxiety in your behavior. You need to carefully find out information about the person that interests you. After delving into several stories from his life, it may well turn out that this is not your prince.

  • It is not necessary to collect data alone - involve your friends, interview his acquaintances. You can collect information without arousing suspicion from your chosen one.
  • Men are not endowed with cunning, so they practically do not know how to skillfully manipulate, speak in hints and hide attraction. If he likes you, he will be embarrassed and study you.
  • Another way to find out if a guy likes you is to arrange a casual meeting. Perhaps he is going to the cinema or working out at a gym nearby. By chance, find yourself next to him. And the next date will be official.

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How to define love and recognize falling in love

Of course, it happens that falling in love develops into love, but for this the person himself must become a little different in the relationship.

A person must “ripe” for love, sometimes this takes several years. At the beginning, in a relationship there may be love, a hormonal surge, a desire to love, everything comes spontaneously and each of us remembers this particular period.

But someday the “rose-colored glasses” fall off, and this is where the partner appears in all his glory. If you don’t push him away at this moment for an “unflattering act” or a mistake, then the relationship can develop into love.

But this doesn't always happen. This is where the period of falling in love ends. You stop idealizing your partner, and what appears before you does not suit you at all. It is here, at this stage, that separation occurs.

You can define love by how often partners hold hands, it warms them and makes them feel the value of a partner nearby; they usually say that “there is a feeling of a shoulder, a support.”

In love you need trust, recognition, respect, the desire to be close always and everywhere, you are passionate about your partner, you are interested in his affairs, work, you share his hobbies and support him in all his endeavors.

Sometimes you can confuse being in love with love. But there are nonverbal signs that can help you avoid making mistakes in this matter.

Nonverbal signs of love in men

  • Touching the object of love
  • Sometimes deliberate indifference
  • Boundless trust
  • Showing interest in the woman you love
  • Wants the object of his love to be in his field of vision
  • Offer to help in all matters
  • Unexpected attention and gifts

Feel alive

“To be loved is to feel that you have the right to exist,” said philosopher and writer Jean-Paul Sartre. True love is finding the meaning of your existence in the world.

Love brings us back to childhood, when it gives us the feeling that everything in the world revolves around us. By choosing each other, we make each other special. In a relationship, we give the other person special significance. We recognize his importance: we respect his views and passions, we accept his ideals.

Another person brings us his world, and we give him ours. This allows you to experience new feelings and open new horizons. “Love helps you see all the colors of life,” sums up Monica Schneider. “True love makes you feel alive.”

Nonverbal signs of love in a woman

  • Excessive care and guardianship
  • Increased attention to your appearance
  • “Eyes burn” at the sight of the object of love
  • Confusion and shyness
  • Mysterious behavior
  • Increased attention to men's affairs
  • All sorts of niceties and gifts
  • Expression of sexuality

Love is a great feeling of attachment and attraction to a person, object or phenomenon. But love, as professional psychologists have established, can only be felt towards a person of the opposite sex.

Now you know how to define love and recognize falling in love. It is worth examining yourself and your feelings, perhaps this is just a passion that will quickly pass. Don't waste your time and energy on this. You need to look for true love, then you will feel peace and harmony in your soul! We wish you GOOD LUCK in this!

HOW TO Distinguish Real Love From Fake Love?

Seeing another person as a mystery

Love is a mysterious feeling. We feel it, but we don't understand it. The force that pulls a person towards is inexplicable. We pursue him not because we like the way he looks, because he is rich or powerful, or because he looks like a parent or significant other. If the union can be explained logically - “she replaced his mother” or “they are together because of money”, there can be no talk of true love. In her case, it is always the mystery that guides us.

“Love appeals to our unconscious: to some childhood experience, loss or longing for what we could not have. It affects that part of the personality that is unknown to us,” explains psychoanalyst Patrick Lamboulay. “That’s why it’s a mistake to think that in a relationship two “halves” should merge and give birth to something whole. It is in this idea that lies the reason why many married couples break up. When a person in a relationship feels understated, he may decide: this is not his soul mate. But this, of course, is not true. To truly love means to always remain intrigued by the mystery of another person.”

Afraid of losing

And all the time. And not only another person, but also yourself, dissolving in him. In The Discontents of Culture, Sigmund Freud explains this phenomenon: “We become dependent on another because we constantly need him to support us in our existence.” Hence the fear of loss.

“Love means taking risks,” explains philosopher and psychoanalyst Monica Schneider. “This feeling is so dizzying that sometimes we are even drawn to reject it in order to protect ourselves from the frightening power of another person over us.”

Freud emphasized that Eros and Thanatos are inseparable: I love you - I destroy you. Eros is our desire to connect with each other. Thanatos is the death drive that pushes us to break this connection so that our “I” remains omnipotent.

If we manage to overcome all doubts and fears and surrender to love, we find ourselves in wonderful new territory

“It’s hard to give up on yourself,” explains psychoanalyst Jean-Jacques Moskowitz. — Love always brings torment. It affects our very being - what we are in this world. Only a few realize this. When they find themselves alone, they enjoy it because they feel protected. But if we manage to overcome all doubts and fears and surrender to love, we find ourselves in a new wonderful territory where feelings are revealed with renewed vigor.”

True love is not a good business deal. A whirlpool of feelings is dangerous for both partners. That's why we often doubt something else. But even if he tries to pull away, this does not always mean that he does not love. Perhaps he is simply afraid of losing himself.

Be ready to take a step into the unknown

In love, nothing is predetermined. No one can guarantee that feelings will be permanent, and that life together will be long and happy. “Love relationships are a special world in which reason does not rule everything,” explains Monica Schneider. “But you shouldn’t set yourself up for the worst.”

Sometimes, due to past experiences of failed relationships, we convince ourselves in advance that we are doomed to suffer. To truly love, you must be able to believe in miracles again, accept the unknown and learn to be patient.”

Feel the desire

Here, at first glance, everything is simple: to love a person means to desire him. Research confirms that physical intimacy helps maintain relationships and does not allow the fire of love to go out. Without an exchange of affection, lovers turn into roommates. You can have sex without love, but when there is love, intimacy gives true pleasure.

If desire wanes, does that mean the relationship is over? Not at all! Our feelings are influenced by many factors, they are cyclical and constantly experience periods of ups and downs. You may not want intimacy right now because you are simply tired, have eaten too much or too little, are stressed, or, conversely, are pleasantly excited about some grandiose changes. “There are days when it’s enough for us to just have our loved one nearby,” explains Monica Schneider.

Changes that happen to a person in love

You can understand that you fell in love with a girl like a boy based on many factors. Strangers may not notice changes in your behavior and mood, but those who know you closely enough will see the changes. You will begin to feel a powerful force inside and take a new look at the world, playing with bright colors, although before it seemed cold.

If you still have doubts that you are in love with a girl, then you can pay attention to the list of changes that signal this:

  1. Physiology. At the sight of the object of adoration, the heart begins to beat faster, the palms become sweaty, and other symptoms of nervous excitement appear, but they quickly stop.
  2. Most of the conversations are devoted to the girl you like, all thoughts revolve around her.
  3. Collecting the maximum amount of information about the girl, her desires, interests, hobbies, searching for common points of intersection.
  4. Frequent failures in dreams began in inappropriate places. At such moments, people around them wave their palms in front of their eyes and ask: “Where are you now?”
  5. The emergence of problems in different areas of life. Study, work, relationships with relatives, friends, etc. are under attack. This is explained by the fact that the focus of attention is entirely transferred to the chosen one. Labor activity becomes less of a priority. The student is ready to skip classes and postpone homework. Time previously devoted to loved ones will also be devoted to your beloved. Subsequently, conflicts and tensions arise with the usual social circle.
  1. Softness. Falling in love makes a person kinder not only to the object of his affection, but also to everyone around him.
  2. Sparkle in the eyes. A person in love is easy to recognize by his happy face.
  3. A constant feeling of happiness. Joy will follow a person throughout the day, no matter what he does, even previously annoying events will begin to be perceived differently. These positive feelings arise from the awareness of the existence of a loved one. During this period, the hormonal system works in a special mode.
  4. Vulnerability. The mood will be related to your partner. When you are sure that the girl has mutually fallen in love with you, and the relationship is going well, there will be an emotional upsurge. A slight discord or an offensive word spoken in your direction will bring your mood “to the bottom of the plinth.”
  5. Idealization. It may seem as if the chosen one has qualities combined in perfect proportions. She is at the same time smart, beautiful, charismatic, sexy, kind, etc. Disadvantages are either invisible or perceived as a feature.

Some experience tremors, shyness, and tongue-tiedness, making it more difficult to speak and express their thoughts. All this is individual, but seeing such manifestations behind you, you can understand for sure whether you are in love.

Acceptance of character and habits

It is impossible to find an ideal person or someone who has identical qualities. All couples have both common features and different, even opposite ones. It can be difficult to get along with some of the characteristics of a new partner. But loving people treat this as adequately as possible.

“You have disadvantages, but they are acceptable to me” - this is the phrase of a truly in love person. Why is that? He:

  1. clearly sees all the shortcomings and bad habits, and does not idealize the character, attributing non-existent qualities;
  2. does not try to change, “train”, re-educate, “correct” the partner;
  3. soberly evaluates negative traits, seriously considering whether he can continue to live normally with them.

If at least one of these three points is not realized, then other feelings are involved in such a couple - passion, love, dependence, worship, etc.

Leave or stay

In such a situation, giving advice is a thankless task. Firstly, no one ever listens to them, and secondly, if someone follows them, then they also blame the adviser for all the troubles that have happened to him.

If we proceed purely from considerations of decency and elementary cleanliness, then an unfree man who has fallen in love with another lady either needs to leave her (if these are serious feelings, of course), or love her exclusively platonically. This may be the answer to the question: “What should I do? I fell in love, but I’m married!”

Ability to resolve conflicts

A relationship in which love arises is not a stage. There is no place for dramas, overblown tragedies, or acting skills. If such a couple has a problem, she prefers to solve everything peacefully. Peaceful means without throwing knives and plates, playing games of silence, visiting parents, throwing things over the balcony and screams that only the deaf cannot hear.

These partners will resolve conflicts through conversations, attempts to understand each other, and find a common mutually beneficial solution.

Another fact: the prerequisites for quarrels are inevitable. Two people, different in character, upbringing, views, trying to share housing, everyday life, will sometimes encounter differences and misunderstandings. This is fine. If there are no disagreements at all in a relationship, this means that people hush up their dissatisfaction or live not with the partner himself, but with invented fantasies about him.

Waiting for an answer

In the meantime, there is no reciprocity, the lover will have to experience all the “charms” of unrequited love. To make the wait less painful, you just need to shift your focus to another object. For example, you can find something you like, or resume a hobby if it was abandoned. Playing sports, any kind, helps a lot. They will not only be beneficial in terms of physical improvement of the body, but will also give confidence and vigor. And these results will never hurt anyone.

Love should give birth only to the best feelings and aspirations. It’s not for nothing that they say that it makes a person better, kinder, softer, more gentle, more soulful. To get the girl you fell in love with at first sight, you sometimes need to take unconventional steps. Women love such men very much: they immediately understand that everything is done for their sake, and who can resist beautiful deeds? Previously, knights fought to the death in duels, climbed through palace windows along smooth steep walls, and went on military campaigns for the sake of beautiful ladies.

So, if you fall in love with a woman, so much so that you lose sleep and peace, the only peace of mind will be the opportunity to be near her. Whether this will work out or not depends solely on the loving “Pierrot” himself. Or rather, from his persistence (within the limits of decency, of course), imagination, courage and depth of feeling. Women love persistent men and usually surrender to the mercy of the winner.

Duration of relationship

Love is clearly not a feeling that arises in a couple of days. To say “I love” with confidence, you will first have to thoroughly study the person next to you. See how angry he gets, sad, what he does when he’s bored, who he calls first to share his joy. Right down to what dreams he has and what brand of toothbrush he prefers.

Only when many joyful and not so joyful situations have been experienced together, the strengths and weaknesses of the individual have been identified, can one think seriously about the cherished three-word phrase. Everything else up to this point is part of the imagination, which will evaporate as soon as life presents a serious test.

Be a man

In general, it is impossible to describe all the nuances in one article. There are many factors that determine how your chosen one will react to you. First of all, act like a man and don't forget that no matter how much you like her, don't let her act disrespectfully towards you .

Girls really appreciate it when a man has a core. On the one hand, they want to “bend” a man, but on the other hand, they lose interest in him if they succeed. Contradictory, but true. Therefore, make sure that your feelings do not cloud your eyes.

Stability of feelings

How do quarrels with parents most often occur?

“I was offended, I feel bad, but I still love my mom and dad. If they suddenly get into trouble, I will come to the rescue, despite all the disagreements.”

How do quarrels happen between lovers who have recently found each other?

“Should we break up? What if this is not my person? Do I even need it? If he starts asking for help now, I’ll proudly turn around and leave. Let him get out on his own!”

Can you feel the difference? Love is a stable phenomenon. It doesn't go away, it doesn't diminish because of a few disagreements or problems. What disappears after the first difficulties is just a temporary hormonal surge, and not deep intimacy.

I'm in love with a different way__8230

Passionate love or light romantic affection occurs differently in men and women. The only thing that unites both sexes is the same vulnerability to the arrows of cupid. It is incorrect to compare psychology regarding falling in love between men and women. These are like two worlds, two galaxies with their own rules and views, different goals and ways to achieve them. Can men and women not only love in their own way, but also fall in love in different ways? Here's what popular psychological publications say about how men and women in love behave:

  1. Men give in to hobbies more easily. This is survey data. What underlies this pattern of behavior is not reliably clear. Perhaps the difference in the perception of relationships and the prevailing moral principles about the fact that a man can be a womanizer, and a woman will forever be stuck with a trail of her past lovers and the solemn title of a good-for-nothing woman from neighbors and grandmothers on benches, are influenced.
  2. Women talk more often about falling in love. Men are stern and are not used to talking about feelings again, especially if they don’t exist. Dear ladies always like to specify and put everything and everyone in their place, wrapping feelings in the right packaging and sticking all possible labels on them.
  3. Men fall in love with several. There is nothing to comment here! The basis of falling in love is the desire to master physically, why not master all the beautiful and accessible things?
  4. Men quickly fall in love and quickly cool down. Especially if the girl is in no hurry to show sympathy in return. While a woman will endow her new lover with amazing qualities, the powers that be will already be looking for a second or third victim of love.

Because of this difference in the psychology of the feelings of men and women, it is impossible to identify common signs of falling in love. The two worlds intersect in the plane of love, but the perception of the surrounding reality and the view of gender relations are too different to consider them together. There can be a relationship together, but you still need to try hard to find common views on things.


Relationships between loving partners do not stand still. They are looking for new and better ways to cope with life's challenges, spend time together, and express feelings in different ways.

Moreover, love experiences do not overshadow other areas of life.

Are you familiar with the situation when a person’s thoughts are so occupied that it makes it impossible to work? Or communicate with friends for a long time without mentioning your object of adoration with or without reason? Or devote time to your own hobbies, not imagining how great it would be to do the same thing, but together?

This is love. It clouds your mind, distracts you from your work, and creates the impression that everything else doesn’t matter. And this is a mistake. Because all areas are equally significant. And it is true love that understands and accepts this fact.


If a guy falls in love with a girl, what should he do, how should he behave? It must be said that you should not delay with your feelings. Our society is still patriarchal, so it is the man who must take the first steps. If there is a certain fear of refusal, you can first “test the waters.” What you can do here:

  1. If you have mutual friends, preferably female ones, you can ask them about what the girl thinks about the guy.
  2. If you don’t have any mutual acquaintances, you need to try for some time to get into the girl’s field of vision as often as possible. Let her get used to seeing a guy not far from her.
  3. Next we need to get to know each other. You can do this on purpose (just come up and say: “Hello”) or unintentionally (ask what time it is, start talking in a public place).


If a loving man decides to stay with friends after work, he will definitely inform his wife about this. Not because of the “heel”. But because he understands: his wife will worry about his long absence. Or perhaps she will wait a long time, not going to bed or having dinner without him.

If a girl wants to buy herself another dress, realizing that the budget is limited and her boyfriend urgently needs a new shirt, she will hold off on buying her item. Because he knows: she still has several dresses, but his old clothes are no longer good for anything and clearly require updating.

To love means to accept responsibility for the feelings and well-being of your partner.

The actions of a loving person do not contradict the main principles of her couple. She respects the opinion of her loved one and always takes him into account. “Will I hurt you?”, “Will this be good for us?”, even “How will this affect his/her image?” — phrases that indicate love.

Find out her status

Be sure to find out what status your chosen one is in . This is very important, since the complexity of the task and further actions depend on it! There may be several options:

  • In a relationship with another guy. This is bad, because interfering with someone else’s couple is more expensive for yourself. If a girl is busy, it's better to forget her and find a free one. It sounds harsh, but it is true. There are several reasons for this: if everything is fine with her current boyfriend, then you will definitely not see success. She loves someone else, and all your movements will not bring results. Well, if everything in her relationship is unclear, then even after fighting her off from someone else, you will begin to doubt, “Will she not leave me in the same way as her ex?” And most often this is exactly what happens! Throws! If a girl has the idea in her head that guys can be changed just like that and at any time, you will also suffer from this. Don't get involved with a couple, no matter what it is! Better look for a free one!
  • She likes someone else. It often happens that a girl has someone in her head, but it is not mutual. It is difficult to act in such a situation. If a girl is in love with someone else, then non-reciprocal feelings, as a rule, are quite powerful. But it's worth a try!
  • I recently broke up. It’s a controversial situation, and one thing can be said for sure: if you had feelings, they won’t go away quickly. Immediately after a breakup, a girl may use you as a pillow to cry on or as a friend to prove to herself that she is still capable of seduction. In general, you can be used, so be on your guard.
  • Free! Great, it's much easier to do. The main thing is not to be stupid and go towards your goal.
  • I left her, but now I want to return her... Sometimes there is a situation when a guy first leaves a girl, and then realizes that he loves her and tries to get her back. Think twice before doing this! Most girls are very vindictive and may come back to take revenge on you later. In addition, there will no longer be as much trust between you as before. The spirit of the relationship has already been killed. So forget it!

After you have found out the status, decide on further actions. Try to ask her out or put her out of your mind.

Falling in love or mental disorder?

Anyone who has experienced falling in love or suffered from unrequited feelings has probably more than once caught himself thinking about mental illness or the development of manic dependence on an object. This is partly true! No matter how strange and frightening it may sound, psychotherapists, studying chemical reactions in lovers, compared the indicators with patients who are being treated in a mental hospital.

Judging by the signs of a man in love, love resembles drug addiction and neurotic disorders. How not to be upset by unrequited love or not sleep at night if the object of passion does not pay attention and spends time with others? No matter how frightening the doctors’ conclusions may sound, everyone wants to experience all the signs of falling in love at absolutely any age and immerse themselves in the world of sweet dreams and daydreams.

In love, but hiding: how to bring a man to clean water

Sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that a man cannot or does not want to “shoot” himself out of the blue. Usually married people cannot. Colleagues who are concerned about their reputation don’t want to. Or the cautious ones, who “having been burned by milk, blow on the water.”

You can open up such a hidden man and ask him the right questions. The code word is intuition. And there are signs with which it is easy to understand whether a man is in love, without a “third eye” - by his gaze , by his gestures and by his manners .

  • Nervous. Just recently he was confident and neat. And now it’s hard to get into the keyhole. Drops dishes. It overflows. Not a guy, but a bull in a china shop. And all this devilry happens in your presence. Coincidence? No.
  • Touches. The guy takes every opportunity to touch you. Literally blows away specks of dust. Or removes eyelashes. Or he feels the fabric of your blouse. In general, he opens his hands, but under cover.
  • "Improving." Suddenly I started playing sports. Quit smoking. Got a couple of new suits. I went to the barbershop. Signed up for Chinese courses. Yes, what doesn’t come into the head of a man in love who wants to loosen his tail and boast.
  • Non-verbal is rushing. And, as usual, there is body language that betrays what they want to silence. The guy turns in your direction, even if only with the toe of his shoe. Pretends. Preening. Looks intently or stealthily. Maybe not in love, but definitely not indifferent.
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