Finding out a married man: how to understand if he has fallen in love with you

It is no secret that some representatives of the stronger sex, being in family relationships, allow themselves liberties in the form of flirting and infidelity. Moreover, the manifestation of signs of attraction of a married man to a woman is not always explained by the fact that he fell in love. He can do this in order to break up the monotonous family routine or to increase self-esteem. If a man experiences a real strong feeling, then it is unlikely that he will be able to hide it: not only his tactics of behavior or manner of conversation will change, but also his character. In this article we will look at the answer to the question: how to know if a married man loves you?

Signs of a married man who is secretly in love

When a man realizes that he has begun to have feelings for another woman, he will try to carefully hide them. Fearing for his marriage, at first he will not show that he likes her. And this may be the first sign of a married man in love.

If earlier, when in general company, he behaved relaxed, but now prefers to remain silent, his feelings probably do not allow him to behave naturally. Usually men do not notice how communication with representatives of the opposite sex is structured, but lovers will try to hide their emotions and this will only harm themselves, because they will arouse suspicion .

Observation is the best way to understand that a married man has fallen in love.

How does a man in love who is legally married behave? In fact, even in the presence of his wife, he can show his feelings. He may call a girl not by her full name, but by a diminutive, as if by chance, in a friendly way.

If you go to the kitchen to bring snacks, he will offer his help to spend a few minutes alone, while trying to start a conversation on an abstract topic. He may even touch you casually and immediately apologize, but a twinkle will appear in his eyes. You can see love in the little things.

To see the sweetheart of his heart, he is able to come up with a lot of reasons for a meeting. If a man with a family invites you and other friends to the same company, this may be a sign of secret love. He will be able to see you, and his friends will distract his wife at this time.

A man in love will not leave his beloved in trouble, especially a married man. His object of sympathy needs help, and he will be able to feel at his best again, because he no longer experiences such emotions with his wife. If a married man shows genuine interest in your life and offers his help in all matters, he definitely likes you.

Do I need to continue the connection?

When couples go for a second marriage, it often happens that it becomes more successful than the first , since the partners are already more responsible and sensitive to their choice. Still, before accepting the status of a mistress, you need to think many times.

Firstly, you should listen to yourself , whether you can definitely live with such a status, because your relationship will always be in the shadows and hidden from others for some time, and they also seem romantic only at first.

Secondly, find out as much as possible about his relationships and relatives . It may happen that his parents will take the side of his wife, and then you will live in conflict with some of the closest people of your chosen one.

Third, be prepared for war with his ex-wife . Many women have a vindictive nature, and who knows what she is capable of.

Important! The main thing to remember is that it is not always a man who leaves for his mistress. He can leave her and his ex-wife in the past and start looking for a better option for himself.

How can you tell if a married man loves you?

In the company of friends and acquaintances, he tries to have minimal contact with you so as not to arouse suspicion. He speaks deliberately distantly and coldly about you to his wife and tries to distract her by showing attention.

A man with a ring on his ring finger is in no hurry to reveal his feelings even to the one who captured his heart. While he does not know what to expect from his new passion, he will study her behavior, convincing himself that she is a reliable person.

If he considers that his beloved is a worthy contender to take a place in his heart, he will not hide his marital status. Married people tend to exaggerate, so you can safely divide his stories about problems with his wife into two.

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This type of man doesn’t even know about the word shame and immediately wants quick intimacy. Your relationship will develop too rapidly , he will seem to surround you everywhere and always, anticipating all your desires. He does not hide or be ashamed of his feelings in public places.

Even if you manage to persuade him to divorce his current wife, you will most likely suffer the same fate, or you will have to watch him all your life . This is explained by his difficult and flighty character, hormones are raging in his body and taming them is not an easy task.

Important! Often, this type of man is simply looking for an open relationship or entertainment on the side in secret from his wife, and not an opportunity to start a new marriage.

Behavior of a married man in love

Every representative of the stronger sex wants to pamper his beloved. Even if he is not rich, he will try to earn more to please his beloved. The desire to win the heart of his beloved greatly motivates a man. Even if he is not a romantic by nature, he will be surprised by beautiful dates and pleasant surprises - just to win the attention of his passion.

A married boss or colleague who feels sympathy will definitely call you to have lunch or drink coffee together at lunchtime, ask for advice or offer a ride. In order to firmly assert that one is in love, such actions must be systematic.

He constantly shows signs of attention and behaves like a real gentleman: he holds the door, helps to take off and hang up outerwear, and lets the lady go forward. Trying to evoke positive emotions in the object of sympathy, such as surprise, admiration, joy, interest, he thus hides his shortcomings and tries to show himself as what he really is not.

Wife's view

The wife will quickly feel negative changes, a cooling towards her person. It is worth noting that this is only possible in cases of real love/husband’s love.

Bitter understanding comes with the following actions:

  1. Changes of a sexual nature. Perhaps a complete lack of sex.
  2. Particular attention to appearance. He chooses his own clothes, shaves, washes, perfumes himself, and combs his hair thoroughly every day.
  3. Delays at work, business trips, complex projects, urgent assignments, because of which the husband is often forced to spend the night “at work.”
  4. Present. The spouse stops making presents or, on the contrary, showers them with gifts, wanting to drown out the feeling of guilt.
  5. He began to forget family dates, holidays, and ignores important events.
  6. Avoids sharing breakfasts, dinners, vacations, and intimate conversations.

This is an optional pattern of behavior for a husband in love, people are different, but the described points are partially present in each case. The wife knows her husband very well, so she will understand the smallest changes, notice inattention, and feel it.

A husband's falling in love does not necessarily mean divorce or the end of life. Falling in love is short-term love, but time will allow you to understand the strength of feelings. Having confirmed the suspicions, the spouse independently determines further actions - separation or forgiveness.

Wife's view

No matter how a man tries to hide his love, the wife acutely feels the chill from her husband and the appearance of a homewrecker. If your husband has fallen in love with another girl, his behavior may show one or more of the following signs:

  1. He begins to take particular care of his appearance and hygiene: he showers often, chooses a new perfume, and buys new clothes. If a husband who had no love for sports before suddenly signed up for a gym, this could be a wake-up call. Does he watch his diet and change his wardrobe? Got a trendy haircut? Something is clearly wrong here.
  2. He often stays at work overtime, takes on new projects, and goes on business trips. If such sudden hard work does not bring additional income, this means that he is either saving money to make a surprise, or a new expense item has appeared in your family.
  3. He forgets significant dates, avoids spending holidays and weekends together, tries to spend as little time together as possible and avoids intimate conversations.
  4. The husband suddenly became generous and began giving gifts, helping with household chores and doing things he usually wouldn’t do. Most likely, he is ashamed of his feelings for another woman.
  5. The marital bed became exclusively a place for sleeping. He has 1000 and 1 excuses not to have sex.

If you notice one or two of the above points in your spouse, you should be wary, but do not panic under any circumstances; it is possible that your suspicions are unfounded.

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Psychology to help you2

Observe behavior:

  • Fussing means lying!
  • He doesn’t answer the phone when people call him, which means he’s hiding. At the same time, he constantly pops up to make calls, supposedly about work.
  • Something always happens to him and he cannot come, or, on the contrary, he urgently has to run somewhere.
  • He has the same time for you to call and write; you cannot call at any other time, neither in the morning nor especially at night.
  • He is not represented on social networks, which means he hides his face and surroundings, and his wife can accidentally put her hand there.
  • He doesn’t want to take a photo with you together. Shyness has nothing to do with it, he is afraid that someone will see you together.
  • He does not accept gifts from you, especially intimate ones, and does not wear them. It’s not for him to change clothes on the street; it’s easier to throw an unwanted gift in the trash.
  • He casts a fog on any of his situations, can disappear for a long time and appear unexpectedly, nothing mysterious, he is just married and maneuvers between two fires.
  • He often “goes on business trips,” but does not say where or why. He doesn't say anything, no details.
  • He has a very mysterious job, “management” can call him at any moment and he will run away without any explanation, because that’s how it is necessary.
  • Dating only takes place at your home, he never goes out with you in public, but why, you can meet someone you know there, then explain yourself to your wife.
  • He never calls you by name, gently calls you sweetie, cat, so that at home God forbid he doesn’t let it slip and call his wife by your name.

View from the side of the object of sympathy

How to understand that a married man has fallen in love with you? Women's intuition and his non-verbal signs will make it clear that he is not indifferent:

  1. The man makes eye contact - tries to catch the eye, looks into the eyes.
  2. He often smiles next to the object of his adoration . If there is no reason, then the corners of the lips move upward. A married man in love tells funny stories to get a smile in return. If you tell him about something sad, there will be an emotional response on his face.
  3. He violates the boundaries of personal space : when talking, he comes too close, takes advantage of any excuse to be closer to his beloved.
  4. He involuntarily turns towards his sweetheart , even if they are just in the same room.
  5. He nervously twists the wedding ring , wanting to take it off his finger along with the family shackles.
  6. A married man experiences an uncontrollable desire to touch the object of desire : he touches his shoulder as if by chance, supports him by the elbow, collides with him where he can easily separate.
  7. He unwittingly copies the gestures of his passion . Such mirror behavior is well known to psychologists and is one of the signs that a representative of the stronger sex is in love.

Body and gesture language

In addition to behavioral manifestations of the significance of her person, an attentive woman will also note elements of body language that are hidden from unaware people. These include:

  • Lack of indifference in lip position. A person in love either smiles, at least a little, when his beloved is nearby, or empathizes with her, and the corners of his lips are lowered at this moment.
  • The state of being in love does not tolerate an indifferent attitude. The man’s body is directed towards the object of adoration and is slightly inclined towards him.
  • If you are sitting, then, as a rule, in this position the man tends to turn around so that his knees are directed towards the object of sympathy, even if this position is not comfortable for him.
  • The gaze of a man in love is directed either to the eyes or to the lips of his beloved. At the same time, if it is not love that prevails over him, but passion, he can lightly, almost imperceptibly, lick his lips.

How to determine the seriousness of intentions

The situation becomes especially difficult when an unfree man falls in love with a married woman. The sincerity of feelings can be understood by his self-control. He understands how complex this love quadrangle is and is in no hurry to show his intentions, trying to distance himself from his beloved so as not to destroy two families with his actions. A married man in love will go for rapprochement only if he can cope with his feelings.

Observations will help you understand whether a man has really fallen in love or just wants to have fun:

  • he does not allow contact by phone and through social networks, because he does not want his wife to suspect something and there will be conflicts in the family;
  • he forbids telling his family and girlfriends about the relationship;
  • the man refuses to introduce him to his friends. The mistress has to celebrate the holidays alone, since the husband is with his family;
  • a married man shows all his negative qualities;
  • he promises that he will definitely get a divorce, but he is not going to do this;
  • sex is a must for him, and he believes that any problem can be solved with the help of gifts;
  • you don’t make plans or talk about a future together.

If a married lover often talks about how bad his wife is and speaks about her in a disparaging tone, then you should understand that if he finds himself in the place of his legal wife, he will treat you in the same way.

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Advice from psychologists

The love of a married man is his inner desire to find a better option than the woman next to him. Consider this attraction as dissatisfaction with your current relationship. Based on this, decide whether the feeling can be responded to. Do not hesitate to give consent, since the initiator was a young man. But don’t worry if you had to refuse. In relationships outside of marriage, it is important to feel confident and happy, so strive for this.

If a girl notices signs of sympathy from a married man, there is no need to panic, because the decision to continue or leave everything as is is hers. The main thing in the situation is to honestly admit to yourself what kind of reciprocal feelings your partner evokes, and decide how to act further based on this.


It has long been known that lovers distinguish their chosen one from the rest of the crowd . This happens even unconsciously.

For example, this may manifest itself in the following:

  • Help and care . Remember, if a man does everything to help you, tries to solve all your problems and concerns, connects all his connections and, in principle, is always responsive to you, then rest assured that you are not indifferent to him. This behavior also occurs with ordinary sympathy, but, as you know, it is very easy to transform sympathy into love.

  • "Chance meetings" . No married man can directly arrange a meeting or date. At the same moment, you want to always be close to your chosen one. Therefore, they begin to be cunning and figure out how to spend time together even for the most stupid and frivolous reasons.
  • Good mood . It is common for Russian people to smile a little, such is the mentality of Russia. Therefore, if you meet a man who smiles at you every day and he is in a positive mood the entire time you spend together, then most likely he is not indifferent to you and there is something in it.
  • Attentiveness . A man in love with you will carefully catch every word of his beloved. Even if this does not apply to your common affairs. In addition, he will try to find out as many details of your life as possible from mutual friends.
  • Individuality . When a man falls in love, he will try to distinguish you from the crowd by any means, and most often lovers use diminutive forms of the name of the object of adoration or a cute nickname.
  • The desire to prove oneself the best in everything . It is important for a man to show his chosen one that he is the best in this society/building/company. This is how nature intended it.
  • Accidental touches . It’s hard for a lover without the touch of his beloved girl. Therefore, the accidental collision of your hands will be commonplace for you. At the same time, he will avoid seemingly harmless physical contacts, such as hugs. Because he still remembers that he is not free and will refuse such manifestations of feelings.

Good family man

If a man in love is a good family man, then he will try to drown out the feelings that arise in himself until the last moment and especially strictly monitor his behavior in public places . At the same time, he will try to protect the feelings of his chosen one in a love relationship.

It should be understood that such a man may not completely break off the existing relationship between him and his wife.

Men of this type in most cases will not decide to break off past relationships if:

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