Imagine that you dropped into a cafe after work, saw a pretty girl at a table and fell in love at first sight...
The heart is beating faster, the eyes cannot tear themselves away from her sweet face, and it seems that there is not a single coherent thought left in her head.
But what next? Sit down at her table and try to start a conversation? Stand behind her and see how she follows her on social media? Pass a note through the waiter?
It's difficult to say which of these options is best. It all depends on the girl and your personal qualities - sense of humor, charisma, self-confidence.
A modest quiet man, an ordinary guy, a self-confident pick-up artist - we have prepared three tips for each of these types of men. These tips will help you play to your strengths effectively.
But that's not all. At the end of the article, the most inquisitive will find a universal method that will make any girl pay attention to you.
Intrigued? Then let's begin.
Make her happy - she loves with her ears and “doesn’t believe her eyes”i
Well, yes, you say, after reading the title and mentally imagining the picture of how she is touched by the words about eternal love and the immaculate conception. It doesn’t mean at all that a boy should pretend to be hard to get, and a girl should dream of a prince on a white iron horse.
Yeah, it’s no longer fashionable to ride workhorses. The only true rule at all times is the opportunity to surprise, and if there is none, to encourage: for honesty and willingness to listen to the nonsense of a romantic in love. So let's start with the basic strategies.
Find common languages - topics for communication, hobbies2
A girl will never waste time on a boy who doesn’t even know what to talk to her about. If the topic concerns boxing or football, she can patiently listen for half an hour to how cool he is, draw a conclusion and go her own way. It is better to take several strategies for seduction:
- Ask what she wants to talk about - perhaps she has some kind of women's problems - her friend is a fool, exams are coming up, there are things to do at school or college.
- If there are no common themes, offer to listen to a story from life or experience. You need to share what you have covered so that the girl can take something into account.
- Never cross the line - just because communication went well does not mean that it is yours. This is silly. After all, no one has canceled the friendship between a man and a woman.
When all points of moral common ground have been found, then move on. And not at all in conversations - about sex or kisses. You can’t seem too cool if you don’t know what a mantra, cat houses, manicure and Freudian philosophy are. Study, then pontificate.
Always be a true friend - put aside gossip3
It all starts with a smile... just like the song they sang in schools in the 00s. If you manage to control yourself, the girl will begin to trust, but not everything. Because in a relationship, quarrels cannot be avoided, and the slightest hint of compromising evidence is a high price to pay for sociability and emancipation. A girl should feel that a friend is nearby, and not a quiet bastard, ready to betray her for a couple of photos.
You should also not pretend to be homosexual. And further:
- If a girl says directly that she doesn’t see a life partner in a guy, this is a good reason not to lose anything and remain friends.
- If she asks about intentions, it means she figured it out. You can act.
The first method of “checking” can be understood differently - if she is under 18 years old, such questions do not mean that she does not need a guy. On the contrary, she wants to see how seriously the boy takes her. Perhaps this is a hint of continuing communication as not a friend, but a real loving person.
Never irritate - brand new appearance4
It is unlikely that a man or young man aged 18-20 years old is able to attract the attention of a girl who looks beautiful and elegant. Just imagine, she goes on a date in a dress, and next to her is a boy in shorts from an underground couturier, sneakers for 5,000 rubles, but unwashed and not cleaned.
Of course, it would be a shame to appear in public with such role models. If a girl is expensive, you just need to match her understanding of style. Classic, welcome to the jacket. If she dresses freestyle, then she undoubtedly needs to somehow change the tuxedo to a simple checkered shirt.
Don't forget about the price of the event. School grades and parties are all in the past. Nowadays young people not only go to clubs, but also visit libraries. If this trend is not alien, you should already take a closer look at shoes or moccasins, depending on the season.
Tips for alpha males
If you consider yourself an alpha male and a conqueror of women’s hearts, the main rules for how to attract the attention of girls have long been familiar to you.
But it definitely won’t hurt you to replenish your arsenal of various techniques and phrases for getting to know each other. And we will help with this.
Be trendy
Think back to old comedy films. When they wanted to make fun of the pickup artist, they portrayed him as a dude in a classic suit and a whole stock of signature phrases.
If your style of dating and seduction resembles this picture, you need to change everything urgently.
The main disadvantage of the “classic” in a pickup truck is that it gets boring. Expressions that left girls speechless a month ago can now cause laughter or even a feeling of shame.
You need to start dating with non-trivial phrases that the girl is not used to hearing. And forget about platitudes.
Try to sit down at her table with the phrase: “Pretend that you are reading a magazine. You’re Olga, my contact?” If a girl has a sense of humor, she will certainly pay attention to you.
Earn her gratitude
You have learned to attract female attention, but you may still have difficulties with “impenetrable” girls.
Gratitude and respect - by evoking these two qualities, you will more easily find the way to her heart. In the same cafe, you can start a conversation with the waiter about coffee equipment, showing off your knowledge.
Otherwise, just help someone. To the waiter, the person at the next table. Unobtrusively and sincerely.
Don't you see anything around you where you can express yourself? Wait for the girl to leave the cafe, give her her coat and open the door for her. Such a gentlemanly gesture will be an excellent opportunity to get acquainted.
Winning strategy
The difference between an experienced Casanova and a novice pick-up artist is that he is able to woo any girl, even if it takes weeks or months.
“Months? For the sake of one girl? - you ask. Believe me, great and worthy women who know their worth can doubt themselves for a very long time and not let anyone approach them.
This is where you can show your intelligence, wisdom and skills of a real strategist. And these are not just words - your communication with a girl will turn into a chess game with an unexpected ending.
Keep in mind that eligible brides have many suitors. Your task is not just to be a good guy, but to become better than the rest in her eyes.
Is the girl interested in some athlete? Play sports and outperform your competitor! Is there a singer in the way? Take a vocal class and record a song in honor of the girl.
“Is there anyone better than me? Come on, while you’re talking, I’ll book a table at the restaurant?”
Self-esteem and pride - do not compare yourself with others5
When talking to girls, you should not be influenced by the public. For example, studying in the same stream on the same course, a guy pretends to be a friend, asking a girl for an outside opinion. “What do girls think of me?” and questions like this will confuse a girl. She, of course, will tell him, maybe not the whole truth, or, on the contrary, she will embellish it too much to put him in his place.
But further communication will be over - not because of his curiosity, but simply because of the impossibility of existing without someone else’s opinion. A kind of narcissist - everything is about himself, and about himself.
What girl likes to talk about the comparative traits of two guys? I want to be higher than the other (ex), it’s better not to raise this topic at all and not to insult him - he was her choice, which she made herself. And then the loser of the world appeared, giving out stupid advice on how to choose guys. Sir, are you referring to yourself? Go to hell, sir!
Intelligence
What kind of men attract the attention of women? Without a doubt, erudite and fluent in speech. Thus, intelligence is a powerful weapon in the arsenal of one who wants to win the heart of his beloved. And for this, a man needs to constantly learn something new. At the same time, it is recommended to deepen one’s knowledge in the area that interests the object of one’s attention. This will allow us to make plans together in the future, dream, draw a picture of the future for ourselves, and then put all the ideas into practice. All a man's conversations should be filled with meaning. At the same time, he must talk about what inspires and motivates him.
Rebel or excellent student?6
An eternal theme that will never end. And all because girls like bad boys, who then marry good girls, but cheat with bad girls who married the same ghouls. Well, there will always be love triangles as long as humanity remains mono- and polygamous.
One question from a psychologist can help, but only for an active and sincere guy - do you need a serious relationship with marriage and children? If yes, you can safely take on the girl and build a couple. If not, then why play children’s games, and how can you even touch a person with whom you have no joint plans for the future, even for personal reasons?
Why is all this needed and to whom? There is no point in self-affirmation - time will pass, love victories will end, envious people will get married, and some will be left with the pity of memories of past years.
For a girl to understand who is next to her, she needs to show her self-sufficiency. It's good to study, but don't be a nerd. As they say, we are all human, but we cannot forget about the important (love is love, but you always want to eat). What family can feed on love alone?
Excuse me, the reality is that women, already mothers, are so materialistic that they are ready to live with someone they don’t love, just so that the child is fed. Perhaps the child of that lazy person who failed to achieve anything in life except the affection of his classmates.
Mistakes made during conquest
The most common mistakes of guys who really want to woo a pretty girl are:
- obsession against the will;
- gifts that are too expensive;
- active expression of sympathy in crowded places;
- humiliation of others in the process of demonstrating physical strength;
- violation of personal space, surveillance;
- collection of personal information;
- drinking alcohol for courage.
Girls like leaders and strong men who will not humiliate themselves and grovel. Don’t make mistakes, behave competently and correctly. Prove that you are a real man, make a woman feel weak and defenseless, treat her with respect - and then everything will work out!
Recommendations from psychologists: how to make her think about you?7
Not just a glance in the direction of a man, but real affection is promised by psychologists who have developed a plan-strategy. Since we need to move from theory to practice, we should always seek advice from psychologists who know how to influence the human subconscious without gestures or words. It was proven a long time ago that simple things will help not only to win over your interlocutor, but also to turn him into a dependent individual.
We are talking about NLP - nonverbal or neurolinguistic programming of human consciousness. If you master a few lessons, you can move on to practical exercises - constructing a speech correctly, catching your partner in a specific thought, or guessing his desires. In relation to girls, this is, oh, how useful.
We have collected everything you need to know about how to care for a girl and not lose face in the dirt in our article.
How to interest a girl when communicating by correspondence?
During correspondence, the use of psychological techniques necessary to make a girl fall in love with you is especially important. When communicating via text, it is impossible to convey emotions through gestures, facial expressions or intonation; the range of methods of influence is significantly reduced.
You need to structure the conversation correctly: develop the conversation, introducing new topics for communication, without turning the exchange of information into an interrogation. To find a suitable topic, you should look through the girl’s page in advance and use the information provided. Posts photos of your pet—the first question you can ask is about it. Loves to travel - you can talk about your impressions of your last trip. The conversation will become personal, encouraging further communication.
The main thing is not to start a correspondence using boring: “hello”, “how are you?” This is annoying and repulsive. You should start a conversation by asking a woman a non-trivial question. Having received the interlocutor’s answer, express your opinion, giving the woman the opportunity to ask a counter conversation. Replies should be short, ending with an intriguing suggestion, personal opinion, and a transition to the next topic.
Smile and good mood8
Scientists have proven that a smile can make a person ready to talk or listen. Almost 87% of strangers surveyed were willing to listen to advertisements when they were smiled at. With girls, as with people [smile], this will work too.
- It will be easier for her to perceive information about herself - she likes the person, looks beautiful, compliments.
- Guys should understand that if a girl is not ready to communicate, catching her by the hand and bothering her is unnecessary. It is enough to call her by name. It is the sweetest thing from the mouth of strangers when you hear your personal name given at birth.
- You can’t constantly whine and complain - gloomy men, like children, are constantly dissatisfied with something, dividing something between their colleagues at work, fellow students or classmates.
I would really not like to see a man who is a slobber, unable to remain calm for a long time. If he is nice to the girl, but treats the waiter like a servant, it means that over time, under different circumstances, the woman risks falling under the hot hand. This is not advice to control yourself until a reason presents itself to crack it. Just stay calm, always.
Universal method
Do you want to make a girl pay attention to you? There is one technique that a lot of guys already use.
Its essence is the effect of surprise. A man can start dating with a bouquet of roses, an exquisite compliment, or an entire theatrical production performed with friends. Search the Internet for a couple of examples of such crazy antics.
Do you want something simpler and more romantic? Then come and meet a large bouquet of flowers or a soft toy. If you are shy, you can leave a note with your phone number along with the gift.
Using this universal method, you will definitely achieve success in attracting a girl’s attention. She might be the first to want to get to know you better!
Confident gait9
A woman also loves with her eyes, and as long as a man treats himself carelessly, she will remain aloof. A beautiful body, a confident gait and a wide back (straight shoulders) indicate good physical fitness. If this is not the case, it is better to go to the gym and tidy yourself up a little.
In the end, being overweight isn't the worst thing about guys. But if a girl gains 5 kg, for some reason the boys immediately turn away, wanting to see a beautiful person next to them. Why is there an opinion that only women should take care of themselves?
It is unlikely that anyone would agree to go to bed with an unshaven and fat guy who is not even capable of turning over from side to side. And no one would agree to date a girl who doesn’t take care of herself. Well, everything is even here, since everyone wants to see a beautiful person next to them.
Sense of humor
Any woman will love a man who can make you laugh. A good sense of humor can compensate for any shortcoming. Jokes should be appropriate to the situation. In front of a girl, you cannot joke about things that only men understand, or use offensive, rude hints.
Under no circumstances should you joke about the woman herself. She can hide her indignation and laugh, but an offensive joke will reduce a man’s chances. Psychologists recommend avoiding sensitive and negative topics. If the guy doesn’t know how to come up with jokes on his own, using the environment, you should learn a few funny jokes in advance to support the fading conversation and smooth out the awkwardness.
Favorite thing above all10
Falling in love is a wonderful time that affects all ages. Young people court in every possible way, run after girls, even try to compete, take revenge, and someone puts women before a choice, they say, it’s either me or him. And when it comes to mistresses, for some reason no one is able to go to one side of the bed. Double standards, sir!
But when a man is busy doing what he loves, finds time for it and does not devote himself entirely to a woman, he arouses her interest. Of course, the saying “the less we love a woman, the more she likes us” works. Just don’t overdo it - no one will knock on the door while the other one is wiping his feet, trying to increase his worth. And in general, you need ease in relationships; difficulties will come on their own in everyday life and marriage.
Sexologists say that almost 65% of women try to please men when they are already tired of courting and understand that the matter is rubbish. Here comes the moment of competition and play - I won’t let you go, but I won’t give you up either. My own skin is more useful, but I won’t feed it to a hyena. This happens in the first weeks of a relationship, when the couple gets to know each other, as in the animal world. This is great because men get a second chance to “properly” show their courtship skills.
What might interest a woman in a man?
How to attract a man to you unobtrusively - what might interest you
Men by nature are conquerors and breadwinners. The same applies to the woman who interested him. He will be happy to enter into a game with her, where she will allow the man to show himself from all his best sides. The woman, in turn, will enjoy this game, where she receives attention and arouses interest - this will inspire her.
At the top of the list of items that arouse a lady’s curiosity about a man are social status, level of earnings, and ways of spending her free time. According to these criteria, it constitutes the “foundation”, that is, the strength of possible relationships. However, you should not give up on trying to meet someone in the absence of a stable job - this issue can be avoided, because many couples are good because they managed to overcome difficulties together.
Women love it when their chosen one controls the situation, but at the same time shows tenderness towards their other half - a skillful combination of the character of a teddy bear and a grizzly bear will have the most positive effect on the relationship. The fact is that a fragile girl needs to feel safe; a man is strong enough to protect her offenders, but at the same time does not offend her himself.
Women know how to distinguish persistence from obsession. The first attracts them, the second repels them at once. By the way, they feel a lot intuitively, just like the boyfriend’s attempts to pretend to be someone else, just to arouse interest. This plays exactly the opposite role in building relationships.
A woman has a natural sense of a man's intentions.
Don't ask, just do11
There are some guys who like to predict with questions. “Can I kiss you?” and similar statements look very stupid from the outside. Well, maybe you should ask your mother’s permission, because the future mother-in-law may be against it. Yes? There are guys who don’t care about opinions - she always wins, but only as long as the woman allows herself, the weak one, to be commanded.
I’ve probably long wanted to feel a man’s word, a shoulder nearby, support. This can be simply tiring, so any experiences need to be discussed. And when you come up with such questions, you don’t have to push them away by doing it your own way. Right now she lacks care, not a man’s “I said that, period.”
You also can’t take advice from a friend - he doesn’t know someone else’s woman, so he won’t be able to really say anything. If the relationship is built on trust, it will be easier to listen to the girl and understand her desires. No, this is not about sex now, just emotional conversations after bed - no one likes them, but you have to endure them.
And how much more will there be... about parents, teachers, exams and other nonsense at work. It is important to her, and as long as a man remains a listener, he will never become a real “fan” of his upbringing of a woman. Whenever a question comes up, you need to act, this is the only way to understand how to attract the attention of an ex or new girl. What to do next with this, and how to keep her close, is a completely different story.
Ability to give compliments
Any woman is pleased to hear a compliment addressed to her. It is important to be able to give compliments correctly, avoiding rudeness, vulgarity, and ambiguity. When meeting a girl for the first time, the easiest way is to praise her appearance, because nothing is known about her personality yet. It is acceptable to give compliments about appearance as long as they are polite and unobtrusive.
The problem with praising one's appearance is an unpredictable risk: girls attach great importance to appearance and a man's praise may be inappropriate. For example, a brunette who dreams of blonde curls will probably get angry when someone compliments her natural hair color. A short girl who wants to appear taller will be offended by words that emphasize her diminutiveness. Therefore, compliments of appearance should deviate as much as possible from unchangeable physical data. It is better to praise the general image, dress sense or makeup.
Giving a compliment to a girl you know is much easier. Knowing about her hobbies, interests, and aspirations, you should build on her achievements: praise specific skills, celebrate successes. One can note taste in literature, cinema, music. Such types of praise simultaneously make it clear that the man is interested in the individual and has similar tastes. But most of all, a woman is attracted by sincerity; when a man is in love, he behaves honestly, openly, and such attention cannot be indifferent.
