Ignoring other people's opinions is actually simple. You need to turn 180, spit on words and mentally send the person away. This in itself is not difficult to do; it is difficult to justify such behavior to yourself. We need confirmation of this attitude towards others.
If we had reinforced concrete arguments confirming the worthlessness of someone else’s opinion, we would stop overthinking and worrying. We would understand that the influence of other people's opinions on our lives is insignificant and overblown.
And in this article we will try to find these arguments for ourselves in order to boldly behave in society and proudly turn someone’s words on deaf ears. The short tips below and the quality called charisma will help us with this.
What does a negative person mean?
A negative person is primarily someone who affects self-esteem. If a person is not confident in himself, any passing remark can plunge him into the abyss of despair. Even an innocent person can act as a negative personality. For example, a teacher or boss who expresses his desires and orders in a demanding form looks like an accumulation of negativity to a touchy and vulnerable person.
There are also so-called “energy vampires” who specifically generate negative emotions in others, provoking scandals, physical discomfort and other unpleasant reactions. Such people have many psychological tools in their arsenal that are powerless against self-confidence and equanimity.
Everyone is familiar with elderly grandmothers who cause scandals in stores and clinics. These negative personalities became like this from a lack of emotion and attention. With age, many opportunities to receive bright emotions are lost, and by causing negativity in others, you can get a response, find yourself in the center of attention and get emotional release.
Another type of people are those who assert themselves at the expense of others. This could be a boss, any official, a friend, a classmate, a relative, or even a spouse. Such people do not know how to create something meaningful and the only way to raise self-esteem is to humiliate those who succumb to provocations.
How to remove negative energy from yourself
If you were unable to avoid a traumatic situation, you can use some traditional ways to get rid of negative energy.
Water is a universal way to get rid of negative energy:
In nature, you can give negative energy to water. It is best to come to the river, sit comfortably on the bank and talk, looking at the flow of water, about what worries and worries you. You can imagine how streams of negative energy pass from you to the river and are carried away with the flow; at home, water from the shower is suitable (take a shower for at least 20-30 minutes), at work - tap water (put your hands under the running water and wash your face thoroughly)
It is important to use running water and not standing water (for example, a pond); In an apartment you can also take a bath with Thursday salts. It is important to carefully drain the water and take a shower at the end.
Other ways to get rid of negativity:
- subject the body to intense physical activity: walk quickly for several kilometers, work out with dumbbells, clear snow near the house;
- give negative energy to any solid object that can be thrown away. For example, pick up a stone, talk about your troubles and throw it far, imagining how it takes your troubles with it;
- speak out, tell someone about your problems and experiences. The interlocutor can be not only a person, but also an animal, a doll, a painting, a tree;
- transfer negative energy to the fire. For example, sit by the fire in nature or light a candle at home. Looking at the flame, imagine how your negative emotions are burned and disappear.
If you are removing negative energy from yourself at home, after the session you need to cleanse your home: light a candle and let it burn for about half an hour.
How to ignore the negative?
So that all attempts to piss you off are unsuccessful, and resentment does not settle like a heavy stone in your soul, psychologists have come up with several simple rules of behavior. It may not be possible to master them right away, because problems that grow over many years are almost impossible to solve in one fell swoop. Overcoming internal fears takes time. But you still need to work on yourself so that toxic members of society do not have a chance to assert themselves at your expense.
Three rules of communication and neutralization of harmful effects on the psyche:
1. Ignore, emergencies, reduce communication to a minimum. The less opportunity to hurt you, the less chance of getting another psychological trauma. It is advisable to physically isolate yourself from the unpleasant person - this is the easiest way.
2. Communication is only about business. If it is unrealistic to limit contacts, for example, at work, then you need to reduce communication to a business style, not allowing a person to have any information about yourself. If he has learned something from others, he should not react or succumb to provocations.
3. Don't argue. After all, this is exactly what is expected of you. If you start arguing without proper self-confidence and inner peace, you have already lost. You can debate, but only on “your field.” If you are a professional in your field or know the subject of the conversation one hundred percent, this makes sense. However, be prepared to be ridiculed, humiliated, and devalued in other ways. Therefore, it is better to withdraw yourself.
A longer and more difficult path lies ahead for those who want to learn how to stop reacting emotionally to negativity. This is much more difficult than simply ignoring an unpleasant person. We can say that this is the highest aerobatics of self-control and psychological stability.
The art of self-control is taught in courses and trainings; working with a specialist helps to identify internal problems and overcome complexes. This cannot be learned in a couple of hours or by waving a magic wand. The process requires immersion in one’s own experiences, bringing to light all accumulated grievances, fears and failed expectations.
It is much easier to understand how not to pay attention to a person - to create an invisible wall between him and yourself, to put on a shell, not letting you into your inner world, and not showing your feelings. The lack of external reaction confuses the “attacker” and cools his ardor.
The main secret of how to learn not to react to negativity is to increase your own self-esteem, gain self-confidence and the ability to abstract yourself from what is happening - learn to look at the situation from the outside, as if everything that happens does not concern you. In this case, all attempts to piss you off will be unsuccessful, and you will maintain your mental health.
Carolina Korableva
About the author: Hello! I am Karolina Korableva. I live in the Moscow region, in the city of Odintsovo. I love life and people. I try to be realistic and optimistic in life. What I value in people is their ability to behave. I am interested in psychology, in particular conflictology. Graduated from RGSU, Faculty of Occupational Psychology and Special Psychology.
Speak calmly
The way we communicate is often much more important than what we say.
If the situation is heated, then it's time to talk about it. However, the dialogue should not be aggressive. It is better to use sentences that begin with the words “I”, “me”, “me”, for example: “It annoys me when you do this. Could you do things differently? Most likely, the interlocutor will listen to you and also express his opinion. Sometimes it is worth calling in a third party for help. Another person can objectively assess the situation. Maybe after the dialogue you will not become friends with the one with whom the conflict is brewing, but at least you will be able to communicate normally.
Working alongside people you find difficult to get along with is a rewarding experience that will show you how you can cope with problems.
Stop feeding the beast
The term “emotional vampires” was used above.
We are talking about parasitic individuals who literally feed on your attention and affection, leaving you emotionally devastated
Before you start investing your emotions in these people, think about the fact that you will end up losing all your energy. Because of this, you will not be able to take even a step towards solving their problems.
You will never be able to satisfy their thirst for your love if they are determined to feel and act like a victim.
You can offer your support to those who need it: a friend or even a stranger.
But try not to lose sight of the moment when your efforts begin to become unnecessary
Or when people calling for your help become more like rivals vying for your attention
You don't have to solve other people's problems, especially when they don't want to. They just want to be endlessly pitied. So you have to know when to leave!
When you feel that your internal resources are being depleted, just step aside and leave everything as it is. There is nothing wrong with refusing to take part in someone's contrived drama.
Control your imagination
Some “optimists” have a wonderful habit - they amuse themselves by making apocalyptic plans for the future. It must be very exciting to imagine what misfortunes can happen. If you also have similar fantasies, immediately start working on yourself. Be realistic: in movies, disasters happen at every turn, but are there many of them in real life? Has anything similar happened to you? Maybe your friends experienced a thriller story? It is possible that you have had to experience troubles, but hopefully they do not happen every month?
Doesn't this logic seem comforting to you? We urge you to calm down your imagination and come into balance: if life is really so cruel, draw pictures of harmony and prosperity in your imagination. Learn to write positive scenarios, practice writing until you begin to enjoy fantasy positivity. Someday your imagination, trained for virtual misfortunes, will give up and stop producing nightmares. If you continue to entertain yourself with horrors of your own making, a clinic of neuroses awaits you. But first you will become a subject, communication with whom is burdensome for others.
Emotions with a sign
People can approach the same situation differently. Some people replay unpleasant moments in their heads every now and then, thereby further strengthening the resulting negativity.
Others simply do not focus on the problem, which after some time ceases to be such
That is why it is so important to realize that the attitude towards a particular situation depends only on the person himself. To make it easier to drive away sad thoughts and not dwell on bad moments, you should concentrate as much as possible on the positive, remembering all the good things in life
To make it easier to drive away sad thoughts and not dwell on bad moments, you should concentrate as much as possible on the positive, remembering all the good things in life.
Return to nature
Sometimes you really need a break from all the people around you. So take a weekend, a day or even an hour, and go somewhere for a walk in nature.
Let the sounds of nature replace the flow of chatter of the modern world
Notice the simplicity of the natural world and how harmoniously the plant and animal worlds coexist with each other
Breathe deeply, tune in to meditation. Focus on filling your body with fresh air and lifting your mood. And when you return to your daily life, you will feel refreshed and protected from absorbing the negative energy of those around you.
Among colleagues
Many people are faced with manipulation outside the home, which raises another question: “How not to succumb to provocations at work?”
The team is not always friendly and adequate. Sometimes, when a person comes to work, he encounters people who are not ready to tolerate the smile on their face and the fighting spirit of their co-worker. They are ready to disrupt his mental and emotional state in every way. How to prevent this?
- Do not react to the words and actions of provocateur colleagues if their actions are limited only to endless questions and attempts to ruin your mood. Instead of a compliment, they may say that your hairstyle leaves much to be desired. Such people are able to put pressure on pity or feelings of inferiority, reminding you that it was you who were deprived of your bonus last month.
- If such provocateur colleagues interfere with your work, then try to have a serious conversation. Prepare a “safety cushion” for yourself by discreetly turning on a voice recorder or asking a friend from work to witness the conversation. Explain that if the provocations do not stop, you will be forced to contact the company’s management.
- Your friendly conversation went nowhere, but you still have notes or evidence that a manipulative colleague is interfering with work? Contact your superiors and ask them to influence this person.
invisible wall
There are provocateurs who are just waiting for a response to the negativity sent into the world. And when they receive it, it’s as if they are swimming in the waves of other people’s emotions, fueled by energy. The most correct thing a person can do in the face of such attacks is to mentally build an invisible wall around himself. The first seconds in which the response is formed are the most important. That is why it is necessary to have time to take a deep breath, exhale and try with all your might to switch from perceiving the negative to “creating” that very wall.
You need to imagine the height of the wall, the color, the material from which it will be made and literally feel how all the unpleasant words sounding from the outside are shattered against its armor.
