What to do when you feel bad and want to cry - how to find a way out of the impasse

Ivan Vdovin

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Sadness is familiar to everyone. You sit in front of your computer this fall and feel a little sad that summer is over. Light memories came flooding back. And you don’t know what to do if you’re sad and want to cry.

This is familiar to everyone and this is a normal emotional state. Of course, if this is not pathological sadness. There is always a little sadness after fun, so our psyche rests and recovers in order to recharge itself with positivity.

What does mental pain “scream” about?

Bad mood, depression, despondency, sadness are emotions that have a right to exist. It is impossible to be positive all the time. When something hurts, we go to the doctor. Pain is a sign that there is some problem in the body. Treatment is necessary to prevent the disease from developing further.

The situation with the internal state is exactly the same. If you do not cope with the negative emotions that poison the soul in time, everything can end in severe depression, mental disorders and even suicide attempts. Heaviness in the soul may be a signal that it’s time to:

  • rethink your goals and reconsider the current stage of life;
  • make changes that you can’t decide to make and constantly put off;
  • slow down the pace of work;
  • take a break from the hassle and bustle;
  • be more attentive to yourself, your feelings and experiences, without pushing them into the background;
  • get rid of loneliness and find like-minded people.

If you recognize such signals in time and take measures to eliminate them, then your state of mind will improve quite quickly. Your mood will improve and life will sparkle with new colors.

You should sound the alarm when you notice the following signs:

  1. Eternal depression. You are constantly in a bad mood. Nothing pleases me at all. You don’t even try to smile at others on duty.
  2. Lost interest. What once made your eyes burn has now become bland and boring. Neither work, nor hobbies, nor hobbies arouse enthusiasm anymore. Moreover, you even avoid meeting with friends.
  3. Prostration. You feel like your battery is completely drained. Even if you have gathered the last of your strength and started to work, you immediately stop it. You are unable to concentrate on completing tasks.
  4. Deterioration in sleep quality, insomnia. At night, sadness and melancholy become even heavier. Anxious thoughts prevent you from falling asleep peacefully. And when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you had been unloading wagons all night.
  5. Indifference to one's appearance. Not only have you stopped visiting the hairdresser, but you even simply forget to wash your hair or brush your teeth. You put on the clothes that fall out of the closet first. You don't care at all about your appearance.
  6. Lost desire to have sex. People who are in close relationships have lost the joy of sex. They stop taking initiative and are reluctant to agree to intimacy with a partner. They don’t even try to act out passion in bed.
  7. Apathy. You are no longer interested in news from the lives of your friends. You don't care what you're wearing, what you look like, what you eat, etc.

All signs point to you being deeply depressed. And it's time to pull yourself out of it. The article “How to get out of depression” has a lot of useful tips on this topic.

Beneficial effects of lacrimation

  • Let's start with the fact that tears have a special physiological task. They are necessary to maintain the health of the eyeballs, cleanse, moisturize and disinfect them.
  • Sobbing is soothing. With their help, we reduce the adverse effects of stress on the body.
  • Crying helps normalize the functioning of the respiratory system and heart muscle.
  • This is a non-verbal way to express the inexpressible (what is difficult to say to another person will be understood without words).
  • Giving freedom to your feelings in a timely manner means not putting them off and not driving yourself to a breakdown. Good sobbing allows you to relieve the nervous system from overstrain.
  • Without a recovery process from emotional distress, there is a high risk of mental health problems.

Causes of sadness and how to deal with it

Before you fight sadness, you need to find out its cause. Let's look at some of the main causes of sadness, as well as ways to combat it. So, most often the soul becomes sad and lousy for the following reasons:

  • loss (death of a loved one, divorce, separation);
  • relationship problems;
  • melancholy for no apparent reason.


Perhaps the most difficult test in life is to survive the death of a loved one. It is very painful, difficult and bitter to lose loved ones. But you have to get over it. Usually the first few days after the incident a person is in shock. He cannot fully comprehend what happened.

Then, a week after the tragedy, the person realizes that he has lost a close friend or relative forever. He is overcome by acute emotional and sometimes even physical pain. Over time it fades and becomes a little easier.

It is very difficult to advise anything in such a situation. Recommendations like - find yourself a new activity or look for new experiences - are meaningless. In a state of difficult experience, a person does not want to do absolutely anything. But you shouldn’t immerse yourself entirely in your grief. This will lead to deep depression and mental disorders.

The “black” longing for the departed person should turn into light sadness. This, of course, will require time and effort. First of all, remember those who stayed next to you. These people need you. Pay attention to them.

The pain of loss helps ease work and solving pressing matters. In order not to endlessly chase thoughts about the departed person in your head, immerse yourself in work or a hobby. By the way, when we grieve the loss of a loved one, we feel sorry for ourselves. We cannot imagine life without this person, and therefore we grieve. But we don’t know where he went. Perhaps he is better there than on earth.

Divorce or separation is much easier to cope with than the death of loved ones. Although at first it seems that life is over. It is difficult to imagine your bright future without familiar relationships.

In this case, you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts associated with divorce. If people disagree, it means they don’t like each other in some way. You will still meet a person with whom you will live in perfect harmony. And you will find happiness again.

But you understand perfectly well that sitting at home and mourning the past, you will not find love.

Keep meeting your friends. Add bright emotions and colors to your life. Update your wardrobe, go for a massage, go to the hairdresser, change your image. Gradually you will feel that you are ready for new acquaintances and relationships. Read about how to love yourself on the website.

Relationship problems

If in a relationship you are more often sad than happy, then you should think about ending it. Relationships shouldn't be painful. Discuss your experiences with your significant other. Were you able to find a compromise and solve the problem? Wonderful!

If nothing changes and you still continue to suffer, break this painful connection. Parting will be a difficult test, but in the future it will bring relief and the opportunity to meet true love.

Longing for no apparent reason

Sometimes it happens that everything seems to be fine in life. Everyone is alive and well. But for some reason it became sad and depressing. Although there is no objective reason for sadness, and you don’t understand why your soul feels so bad. Allow yourself to be a little sad and try to find the reason for the blues.

  1. Think that you are doing well. You are healthy, your loved ones are also in good health. You don't have any serious problems. Thank fate for this. And you will immediately feel how you will feel better. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book. They will help you distract from unnecessary, unreasonable thoughts.
  2. Perhaps you are simply tired from household chores or work. Give yourself a few days to fully relax. Take some time off from work and go on a short trip.
  3. Gray and monotonous everyday life also spoils the mood. New experiences will help to disperse the melancholy caused by the daily routine. Do something you've never tried before. Provide yourself with new and unique emotions. Go to a concert, go hiking, dance, ski, go for a bike ride. There are a lot of options!
  4. Sadness can also settle in the soul from loneliness. Even the most die-hard introvert needs a friend. Surely you have at least one friend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If not, try expanding your circle of acquaintances. Sign up for courses, register on the forum that interests you. There are a lot of people in the world. And somewhere your soul mate is wandering.

I recommend watching the following video when you feel sad again.

Why does a woman start crying for no reason?

  • Representatives of the fair sex experience hormonal changes every month, which leads to mood swings.
  • Hormonal disruption occurs during menopause.
  • Tearfulness occurs during pregnancy and after childbirth.
  • A more serious problem is thyrotoxicosis in diseases associated with the thyroid gland.
  • The root cause lies in disorders of the nervous system.
  • This is a normal reaction of the body to get rid of stress hormones.

Psychologist's advice

Let's look at the main tips from psychologists to combat blues and sadness.

Determine the cause

We have already discussed the main reasons for bad mood. The mood drops due to troubles, failures, and misfortunes. However, not all. It all depends on how you yourself perceive the situation. Stress-tolerant people's mood deteriorates much less often than those who are completely unable to cope with their emotions.

And adrenaline, cortisol and other “stress hormones” are to blame. They are produced in large quantities in the body when a person experiences stress. It is these hormones that cause us anger, fear, uncertainty, shame, guilt and other negative emotions. To block the excessive production of these hormones, you need to learn to control yourself.

When you determine the cause of your sadness, leave it in the past. Move into the future without this unnecessary burden. Do not let such situations disturb your inner peace and harmony.

Let go of the past

If you feel bad because you feel guilty towards another person, ask him for forgiveness. Sincerely reveal your feelings and emotions to him. You can do it in person, or you can do it in a letter. Has he forgiven you? Amazing! You can breathe a sigh of relief and move on with your life easily. If not, then it is his choice to live with the burden of resentment.

Or, on the contrary, you were offended and the feeling of disappointment does not go away. Resentment is a very caustic emotion. It is imperative that you deal with it, even if the offender does not seek to ask for your forgiveness. First of all, stop dwelling on resentment. Fill your life with bright emotions and impressions, against the background of which your resentment will fade and disappear altogether.

Change the scenery

Even the smallest trip can lift your spirits. Sometimes, when your soul becomes sick, you just need to break out of your usual environment and city for a day or a week. Choose a place you've never been to. You don't have to fly abroad. Where you live, there are probably still places you haven’t explored.

Have you ever seen a sunrise in the mountains? It's magical! The calmness and tranquility of the mountains is conveyed to everyone who has ever climbed to the top. There, between heaven and earth, all those troubles that you allowed to spoil your mood begin to seem like something insignificant and small.

Visit a psychotherapist

If sadness still won’t let you go and you no longer know what to do, seek help from a psychotherapist. It will help you:

  • to know yourself;
  • find out your true desires;
  • determine goals in life;
  • find a path that will help you realize yourself;
  • identify the root cause of your problems;
  • overcome fears;
  • learn to express emotions and communicate with people.

After all, often we just need to talk it out so that the sadness goes away. If you have absolutely no one to talk to, go to a psychotherapist.

general characteristics

Crying is a psychophysiological reaction that is accompanied by the release of tears, a sharp change in the rhythm of breathing, blood pressure and heartbeat, and involuntary contraction of the superciliary and periocular muscles.
In origin, it is a strong one-time mental experience that occurs in response to intense negative or positive stimuli. From a social point of view, crying is a way of expressing strong emotions. In childhood, physical pain is a common cause of tears. As you get older, this reaction weakens, but can persist in women with increased emotional lability. The term “tearfulness” refers to a character trait or temporary feature of the emotional-volitional sphere. It manifests itself as emotional imbalance, tearfulness: a person cries every day, the tears are caused by random memories, a tense conversation, the unpleasant intonation of the interlocutor, a scene from a movie. Often, tearfulness reduces social activity, interferes with maintaining close relationships, and provokes irritability and misunderstanding on the part of others.

Tearfulness is more common in women and children than in men. This is explained by biological reasons: women have more pronounced hormonal fluctuations (pregnancy, childbirth, menstrual cycle), children have a labile nervous system, so they easily become agitated even to minor stimuli. The cultural factor also influences increased tearfulness in women compared to men. Sensitivity and tearfulness are recognized as feminine traits, while men's tears are seen as a demonstration of weakness.

Instructions for overcoming sadness

I want to offer you unusual instructions that will help you cope with negative emotions. It is compiled on the basis of spiritual practices and has nothing to do with the advice of psychologists.

Step 1. Don't hide from emotions

When your soul becomes restless, it is very important to realize what is happening inside. It is not enough to simply understand. You just need to realize it. This means that you must understand and accept these emotions. Accept the fact that you feel bad and hard. But you shouldn’t think about why this is happening to you and what it’s all about.

Tell yourself: “This is how I feel! This is my pain, my sadness, my feelings and emotions.”

Step 2. Immerse yourself in sensations

Once you have fully accepted your emotions, immerse yourself in your state. Feel how your body reacts to the feelings you are experiencing. This is what is happening to you at the moment. And it doesn’t matter at all why this happened. What caused these emotions.

Cry if you want to cry. But don’t start feeling sorry for yourself or scolding yourself.

Step 3. Imagine that the mind is not you

The mind evaluates our actions and everything that happens around us: this is good, but this is bad. This happens automatically and unconsciously. A person is accustomed to believing that his mind is himself. And there are more than 7 billion such minds on our planet. And everyone gives their own subjective assessment.

At the same time, we become so accustomed to our assessment that we desperately suffer in situations that are essentially empty and worthless. The mind loves to exaggerate everything.

Now try to imagine your mind as something independent of you. Think about what he looks like? In the shape of a cloud or a soap bubble? Where is he located? On right? Left? Over you? Let your imagination run wild.

The most important thing is to feel that the mind is not part of you.

Step 4. Feel your condition again

Re-immerse yourself in your sensations. But now, as if from the outside, observe how the mind sends you thoughts. So he sent the idea that you shouldn’t have done that. But the thought is that you don’t know what to do next.

Notice all these thoughts coming from outside. But don't take the mind's assessments personally. You will see how thoughts are born on their own, filling your head. And the longer you watch them, the fewer they become. And the less often they come to mind.

On the site you will also find an article on how to get rid of negative thoughts.

Step 5. Observe emotions

Feel your emotions as sensations inside your body. Record the thoughts that your mind sends to you. Don't analyze them, don't take them personally, don't evaluate them. It's just a thought.

When the mind evaluates our negative emotions, they feel heavy and unpleasant. If you don’t evaluate them, they will be neutral.

You will see that it is no longer so uncomfortable to observe feelings. It's even getting interesting. Your mood will probably improve and a little joy will appear. But even in this case, do not evaluate the sensations that arise. Just watch them.

Resentment, sadness, and joy are just sensations inside you. They are no worse and no better than each other. It is your mind that gives them estimates. All sensations are neutral. And that means you shouldn’t have a hard time experiencing certain emotions.

Why you want to cry for no reason: what does this mean in psychology

Tears are a subconscious reaction that brings people together. Let's consider tearfulness as a tool for interpersonal interaction, a way to attract attention and give a certain signal to society. Crying tells society that there is a problem that a person cannot solve without help. It evokes the sympathy that the crying person needs. A more categorical theory says that lacrimation is a method of manipulation and a means of neutralizing the aggression of the interlocutor. We learn this science from childhood: adults always react to the sobs of a child.

Normalization of lifestyle

Psychological problems are directly related to the work of our body, all its systems as a whole. If any system fails, this fact is reflected in our mental state.

To successfully recover from a mental disorder, you need to follow a few simple rules:

  1. Get enough sleep. It's no secret that healthy sleep for a person is 8 hours a day. During sleep, a person rests both mentally and physically. Problems, fear and anxiety that tormented you during the day can be unexpectedly resolved in a dream - a rested brain provides answers to questions that hovered during the day. A person’s mood, appearance, health, tone directly depend on sleep;
  2. Eat right. Vitamin deficiency, that is, insufficient consumption of seasonal vitamins, negatively affects health, both physical and psychological. For problems associated with anxiety in the soul, special attention should be paid to foods that promote the production of the hormone serotonin;
  3. Be physically active. Regularly performing simple physical exercises will improve the metabolic process in the body, which is closely related to the mental component of human health;
  4. Breathe fresh air, take walks for at least an hour a day;
  5. Limit or completely avoid the use of alcoholic beverages, cigarettes and other substances that cause unhealthy mental activity. As mentioned earlier, the substances they contain have a depressing effect on the psyche, causing anxiety and fear.

Is it worth giving vent to emotions?

An outburst of emotions is needed. People who directly express everything they don’t like are less likely to suffer from depression and internal worries. Closed people constantly keep everything under control: actions, words, emotions. The nervous system is under tension, so failure occurs more often.

Each person is individual, but everyone needs to find a release of emotions. To cleanse yourself of negativity, you should not quarrel with offenders. You can talk to yourself, analyze the situation, dot all the i’s and find the right solution. It is recommended to throw out emotions through sports, singing, shouting in deserted places, dancing or music.

Tears are living water. If a person cries, it means he is emotionally alive. However, when tears appear for no apparent reason, this condition needs to be understood and measures taken. In severe cases, the help of psychologists and psychotherapists is required.


Determining the causes of tearfulness is carried out by specialists from various fields - psychiatrists, neurologists, endocrinologists. Primary diagnosis is carried out using clinical methods, including interviewing the patient and his relatives, as well as observing behavior. In most cases, patients are able to critically evaluate their experiences, so they independently report to the doctor about frequent crying, emotional sensitivity, mood swings and other symptoms. A conversation with relatives helps to clarify the duration of the symptom and its causes. To establish the etiology of tearfulness, the following is used:

  • Study of the emotional sphere of personality.
    Comprehensive psychodiagnostic testing allows us to determine the presence of depression, leading character traits and personality traits that are the basis of tearfulness. Various questionnaires (MMMPI, Cattell questionnaire) and projective techniques (color choice test, drawing of a person) are used.
  • Laboratory studies of hormones.
    If a conversation with the patient does not reveal the psychological causes of tearfulness, but there are signs of an endocrine disease, a blood test is performed to determine the content of hormones. The concentration of hormones of the adrenal glands, thyroid, pancreas, parathyroid and/or gonads is examined.
  • Instrumental studies of the brain.
    If the patient complains of emotional disturbances and there are signs of organic damage to the central nervous system, a neurological examination, CT and MRI of the brain, ultrasound of cerebral vessels and other diagnostic procedures are performed. The results make it possible to determine pathological changes in cerebral structures and tissues.

Prayer to the Life-Giving Cross will protect you from evil forces

Various circumstances can cause melancholy, sadness or illness. Often the machinations of our ill-wishers are involved here. To protect yourself from them, you can read this prayer:

May God rise again, and may His enemies be scattered, and may those who hate Him flee from His presence. As smoke disappears, let them disappear; As wax melts in the face of fire, so let demons perish in the presence of those who love God and sign themselves with the sign of the cross, and say in joy:

Rejoice, Most Honest and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord, drive away the demons by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, who descended into hell and trampled upon the power of the devil, and who gave us His Honest Cross to drive away every adversary.

O Most Honest and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord! Help me with the Holy Virgin Mary and with all the saints forever. Amen.

Icon of the Exaltation of the Honorable Cross of the Lord

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Prayers for anxiety are addressed to Saint Barbara

Varvara suffered a lot for her faith, but she always had the confidence that everything would be fine. This prayer is recommended for people who are very anxious. She calms down.

Saint Barbara saves from anxiety

Most wise and all-red saint, Great Martyr of Christ Barbara! Blessed are you, for God’s finest flesh and blood has not been revealed to you, but God the Heavenly Father Himself, like you, for the sake of faith, abandoned, expelled and killed by an unfaithful father, has received into His beloved daughter:

for the perishable earthly property the inheritance is a gift to the incorruptibility of the flesh;

the labors of martyrdom by the repose of the Heavenly Kingdom changed;

glorify your temporary life, cut short by His death for His sake, with veneration, as the soul from the faces of the heavenly spirits, but the body, placed on earth in their angelic temple, by the angel of the commandment to keep intact, honestly and miraculously.

Blessed art thou, O Christ the Son of God, a virgin despised by the Heavenly Bridegroom, desiring to have the kindness of thy zealot, all through suffering, wounds, pleasure by cutting, and the very heads by beheading, as if thou didst endeavor to adorn them with the most precious utensils: yes, as a wife is faithful to her head to her husband, Be united to Christ in spirit and body inseparably, saying: found.

But my soul loved Him, held Him, and did not forsake Him. Blessed are you, for the Holy Spirit has rested upon you, having been taught by the spiritual to reason spiritually, you have rejected all the spirits of wickedness in idols, as if they were destructive, and having come to know the only God of the Spirit, as a true worshiper, you deigned to worship in spirit and truth, preaching: I honor the Trinity, one Godhead.

This Holy Trinity, Who glorified this Holy Trinity in life and death with your confession and suffering, pray for me, my intercessor, as I am always threefold, faith, love and hope, and here I honor the Holy Trinity as a virtue.

I am the lamp of faith, but the oil is empty of good deeds: you, wise virgin, thy suffering flesh, filled with blood and shed with wounds, like the one who has the lamp, give from your oil, so that by decorating my soul’s candle, I, your unworthy servant (name) will be honored. ) for you to enter into the palace of heaven.

I am a sojourner on earth and a stranger, like all my fathers: eternal blessings to the heiress and a blessed meal in the Kingdom of Heaven, a partaker, as in the journey of life, a meal of divine treats, and in the exodus from the world, grant me the desired guidance:

and when at the end I begin to fall into the sleep of death, then touch my exhausted flesh, like sometimes the angel of Elijah, saying:

Arise, eat and drink, for by the grace of the divine Body and Blood of the Mysteries I will walk in the fortress of that poison the long path of death, even to the mountains of heaven:

and there, through the three windows of the bathhouse, before by faith you saw the Trinity of God, Whom together with you face to face, may I be worthy to see and glorify Him forever and ever. Amen.

Drug treatment

Antidepressants, tranquilizers and antipsychotics can eliminate the symptoms, but not the cause of a restless state of mind. The drugs relieve all symptoms of anxiety and fear and restore normal sleep patterns. However, these drugs are not as harmless as they seem: they are persistently addictive, entail many unpleasant side effects, and weight gain.

The effectiveness of using traditional medicine will also not be able to eliminate the true motives of hidden fears and anxiety. Folk remedies are not as effective as the above-mentioned medications, but they are safer in terms of harmful consequences and relieve a restless state of mind.

Important! Before using any medications, you should consult a specialist.

Prayer for fear - “Live Help”

When you are scared, it is worth reading the “Living Help” prayer. During the war years, many soldiers put it in their pocket and survived without a scratch.

Psalm 90

prayer for fear, taken from the book of Psalms, David's prayer

Prayer for fear:

“He who lives in the help of the Most High will dwell in the shelter of the Heavenly God. Says the Lord: Thou art my Protector and my Refuge, my God, and I trust in Him. For He will deliver you from the snare of the trap, and from rebellious words, His splash will overshadow you, and under His wing you hope: His truth will surround you with weapons.

Do not be afraid from the fear of the night, from the arrow that flies during the day, from the thing that passes in the darkness, from the cloak, and from the demon of the midday. Thousands will fall from your country, and darkness will fall at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, otherwise you will look at your eyes, and you will see the reward of sinners.

For You, O Lord, are my hope, You have made the Most High your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and wound will not approach your body, as His Angel commanded you to keep you in all your ways.

They will lift you up in their arms, but not when you dash your foot on a stone, step on an asp and a basilisk, and cross a lion and a serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and because I have known My name.

He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will destroy him, and I will glorify him, I will fill him with long days, and I will show him My salvation.”

Correct reading of the prayer on video:

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