What to do when you don’t know what to do: 14 tips for getting out of a hopeless situation

Assess the situation soberly

The first thing you need to do is put your emotions aside and assess the situation. Is she really that hopeless? Perhaps there are some advantages to it after all? How to proceed?

It's best to do this in writing so you don't miss anything. Write down all possible scenarios and their possible consequences.

You can ask someone you know to help you. The less this situation concerns him, the better. A fresh, unbiased look will be very helpful.

If you are faced with a serious life-changing choice, for example, where to go after school or where to go to work, read our article “How to develop intuition.” It will help you reach your subconscious and get an answer.

Find someone who did what he wanted

If you're struggling to figure out what steps to take to get where you want to go, find someone who's already been there.

The great thing about today's world is that everything you would like to do has already been done by someone else.

Mentors help you build resilience. Sometimes we think we have it especially hard and forget to acknowledge that others have had problems too.

Knowing that your mentors have been through what you are going through helps you commit to the work you have to do because you know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

By reading about other people, you will see that they too have had to face difficulties and challenges... Knowing how hard someone has worked to achieve their goals or dreams gives you an extra boost of confidence and determination to stick with it a little longer.

If you want to be a writer, actor, artist, big businessman, all the information is available to you online.

And if you want first-hand experience, then go out and do it—volunteer for an organization or ask a professional if you can shadow them for a day or a week. Who knows, you might find something you might be passionate about.

Don't cut from the shoulder

Never make impulsive decisions. In a shattered, unstable state, there is a high probability of making a mistake, which will be very difficult to correct later. Sometimes it is useful to suspend the situation for a while, perhaps everything will resolve itself. If you don’t know what to do, and you can’t postpone making a decision, choose the path with the least risks.

Sometimes to solve a problem you just need to take a break. Or, as some American psychologists say, “go out onto the balcony” - breathe fresh air there, and then, already rested, return to the problem.

Pause does not mean “sit and do nothing.” You just need to distract yourself with something. For example, you can train your brain on simulators from Vikium, which I recommend to readers in all my articles and which I myself use three times a day. They are free, exciting, and besides, there are already a hundred of them now and new ones are constantly appearing.

Another option is to read a book. Not necessarily fiction - you can read authors such as Napoleon Hill, Robert Kiyosaki, Jim Rohn, Randy Gage, etc.

Step-by-step instruction

The main route of transmission of the new strain of Sars-Cov-2 is airborne, so if suspicious signs appear, you must immediately use personal protective equipment and isolate yourself from others as much as possible.

Then you should call a doctor at home, and he will take swabs from the nasopharynx for analysis. Until the results are received, all contacts with people are limited; a person with suspected infection must maintain a distance of 1-1.5 m.

You should not go to the clinic yourself, so as not to infect others!

If you have questions about how to proceed, you can call the Rospotrebnadzor hotline. Specialists take calls around the clock at 8-800-555-49-43.

Thus, the action plan consists of several steps:

• Self-isolate, go into quarantine.
• Call and consult a doctor.
• Get tested for Covid-19.
• Wait for the test results, observing gentle, and if your health worsens, bed rest.
• Drink more fluids.

The likelihood of infection is higher if there is contact with an infected person or if you are in a pandemic outbreak.

If there are severe symptoms of a viral infection - fever up to 38.5° or more, severe shortness of breath and cough - you should immediately call an ambulance, which will take the patient to the infectious diseases department.

Reconsider your approach to the problem

Draw a random scale on paper. You can take an ordinary centimeter ruler as a sample. This will be a scale for objective assessment of your problem. At one end, let there be a state of maximum comfort and carefreeness, and at the other, absolute hopelessness, leading to inevitable death. Mark several intermediate divisions between the two extremes. Now find the place on the scale that adequately reflects the position of your problem in this coordinate system.

If you are not terminally ill, your house did not burn down in a fire, you did not lose all your close relatives overnight, then your situation will be somewhere in the middle. You are still very far from the extreme point of despair, but you worry as if the worst has already happened.

Remember what good things you have in your life and thank fate for it. Millions of people don't have even a hundredth part of what you have.

Who is taken to the hospital

If symptoms of coronavirus are detected, one or more conditions are sufficient for hospitalization:

• the patient is over 65 or under 3 years old;
• the blood is saturated with oxygen by less than 93%, the respiratory rate is 22/min, which is a sign of respiratory failure;
• the patient lives with people at risk - the elderly, pregnant women, those with chronic pathologies - or does not have a separate room and the ability to self-isolate;
• the patient suffers from diabetes, heart failure, COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease);
• pregnancy;
• children and adolescents under 18 years of age with heart disease, respiratory tract diseases, diabetes, as well as those who take hormonal drugs and cytostatics.

The ambulance picks up patients with a preliminary diagnosis of Covid-19, observing protection rules. The doctors are dressed in special suits, and the patient is provided with a face mask. Where exactly the ambulance goes depends on which hospital has available beds.

Don't blame yourself

We are not gods to foresee and control everything - our sphere of influence is very limited. If you are used to blaming yourself for all the failures that happen to you, then you are a hyper-responsible person.

Hyper-responsibility often leads to self-destruction - this is the main psychological cause of cardiovascular diseases. Therefore, you need to get rid of the tendency to self-flagellation. As soon as the next time your brain starts a chain of painful thoughts, about how you should have done it this way and not that way, that you are so and so bad, tell it STOP and with an effort of will, switch your attention to some important things.

I don’t know what I want - WHY does this happen in life?

The answer to the question “ why doesn’t a person know what he wants ?” Of course, it lies in childhood.

In particular, in the period from 2 to 3 years, when the child’s right to his own actions is formed. And, in the period of 4-5 years, when entrepreneurship in realizing one’s desires is formed. And, also in adolescence, when values ​​and the answer to the question “who I am” are formed.

These periods are not accidental. According to the internationally accepted typology of development in childhood by E. Erikson, the period from 2 to 3 years is characterized by the fact that the child psychologically begins to separate from his mother and strives to do everything himself. He has a lot of desires, a research itch. And, if his parents allowed him to do this, then already at this age he begins to track and feel what he wants and what he doesn’t . Accordingly, the child emerges from this stage either independent or indecisive. And then the child does not know what he wants.

The stage from 4 to 5 years is characterized by an even greater desire to explore the world. The child wants to know everything, not only within a meter from himself. He wants more. If parents allow the child to explore the world at this stage, he gains a sense of right to initiative. That is, the right to satisfy your desires! But there is also a bad scenario. If a child was severely limited, and he was scolded and punished for his curiosity, he learns to feel guilty. It is the feeling of guilt that further inhibits the understanding of one’s desires! And so, our child doesn’t know what he wants.

During adolescence, a teenager searches for himself. He looks closely at the social groups in which he finds himself. Wanting to be accepted and feel safe, a teenager develops a value system that is characteristic of the society in which he is located. What is characteristic is that if at earlier stages the child did not receive a positive developmental scenario, then in adolescence he finally develops “diffusion of identity.” This is exactly the state - “I don’t know who I am.” “I don’t know what I want to do in life, I don’t understand what I want from life.”

Mobilize all your resources

A difficult situation is not the time to relax and give up. On the contrary, you need to use all your hidden and dormant reserves. If, for example, you are suddenly faced with an acute shortage of money, you need to take an inventory of your skills and abilities for their potential profitability.

Are you fluent in English? Great, you can earn extra money by tutoring. Do you know how to fix computers? Why not do it for money.

It’s also not a sin to use external resources. These include useful acquaintances and connections.

What can you do at home?

At the first symptoms of coronavirus infection, doctors advise following a number of rules:

• be in a separate room. It is advisable that household members and pets do not live together, but they also need to observe a two-week quarantine if the diagnosis is confirmed;
• arrange the delivery of food and medicine with relatives, friends or volunteers;
• use individual utensils and personal hygiene items;
• when communicating with relatives living in the same apartment, wear a protective mask;
• systematically ventilate the room and humidify the air using a humidifier or hanging wet towels;
• do wet cleaning every day;
• When coughing and runny nose, use disposable handkerchiefs or napkins, which should be thrown away immediately. As a last resort, if you don’t have a napkin, it’s better to cough or sneeze into your elbow;
• regularly wipe door handles and taps with an antiseptic;
• Place garbage in tight bags, preferably double ones, and entrust it to friends or volunteers to take it out.

Enlist the support of loved ones

As you know, friends are known in trouble. Now more than ever you need their support and participation.

“Sometimes the presence of another person, even silently, helps to cope with despair” (Marc Levy).

I absolutely agree with the author of the quote. Tell us about your problem and you will feel better. Most likely, your loved ones will offer to provide you with all possible help. Don't refuse, but don't take too much either. Don't forget to thank them warmly and, if possible, do something good for them in return.

20 more ideas on what to do if you're bored

It also happens when nothing comes to mind. There is no need to worry about this. In a world where the flight of information is calculated in gigabits, every second person faces similar difficulties. It’s better to just choose one of the twenty proposed options on how to get rid of boredom.

1. Getting to know each other is not difficult when you have the Internet. You can browse the most popular dating sites or even visit chatroulette, where there is no need to wait for a written response.

2. Going to the gym is an excellent solution for those who have no complexes about their physique. In the gym, you can also find new acquaintances.

3. Finding an interesting book is a great opportunity to exercise your imagination. Reading books is characterized by the speed of perception of the information received, and therefore the brain has the opportunity to form lasting impressions.

4. Learning how to make cocktails can be not only an interesting activity, but also useful when guests come to the house.

5. Inviting guests is a good opportunity to strengthen your connections with friends, unwind and get rid of boredom.

6. Create a page on a social network - this activity can last for several hours, but you won’t be bored.

7. Creating a slideshow or collage is one way to kill two birds with one stone: make your photo album presentable and immerse yourself in nostalgia.

8. Starting a video diary is convenient, useful, and most importantly, a video diary will convey your mood better than a notebook sheet.

9. Attend an online dance school lesson - learn new moves and help you stay popular on the dance floor. In addition, the learning process itself is quite a fun activity.

10. Going to nature is sometimes not just interesting, but also useful. Breathe the air freshly produced by the trees, admire the scenery and enjoy unity with the world.

11. Making a family tree is a very interesting activity. At such moments, a person understands how rich he is in loved ones and how important communication with them is.

12. Study the online notice board of your city - sometimes it’s interesting to find an expensive thing for little money. Often, a walk through such a site ends with a profitable purchase.

13. Watch something from the classic genre - it can make you admire the performance of great actors. However, it all depends on how far one goes into the classics. The very first works can boast only historical backgrounds.

14. Find a new hobby - it’s always interesting to learn something new. In this case, you definitely won’t be bored.

15. Reading palmistry may be interesting for people who believe that their fate is predetermined.

16. Paying attention to the house - sometimes, cleaning the house is not only useful, but also exciting, because when sorting out the trash, you often find forgotten, but favorite things. This will not only kill boredom, but also, in principle, a useful thing.

17. Keeping a notebook with the dates of birth of loved ones is very interesting, since in order to restore forgotten birthdays, you may need someone’s help. This means that boredom will have to be pushed into the background.

18. Clean your computer – tidying up your computer desktop is first of all useful, but the fun begins later when, while cleaning the desk, your attention turns to long-forgotten files.

19. Visit neighbors - in some cases, the hospitality of neighbors develops into pleasant gatherings over a cup of tea, so the company will not be superfluous when you are bored.

20. Having pets – well, it depends on the taste and color. If you want to drive silence out of the house, then you can get a parrot. When the soul is in the mood for affection, then a cat will do, and if a person is temperamental by nature, then there is no animal better than a dog. One thing is certain: it won’t be boring.

Take up meditation

In any unclear situation, meditate. This is truly a universal recommendation for all occasions. Meditation harmonizes the body and mind, trains attention and imaginative thinking, helps to take control of your emotions and put chaotic thoughts in order.

I offer you a ready-made meditation session on video - you can start with it.

If you are a religious person, you can combine meditation with prayer. Pray when you don’t know the answer to a question that worries you, when the situation seems hopeless.

Coronavirus symptoms

The clinical picture of Sars-Cov-2 is very similar to the manifestations of acute respiratory disease, including:

• increased temperature, fever;
• general weakness and malaise;
• aches throughout the body;
• pain, sore throat;
• headache;
• loss of smell and/or taste;
• nasal congestion, runny nose;
• cough, mostly dry;
• nausea;
• indigestion, diarrhea;
• feeling of tightness in the chest;
• cardiopalmus.

Don't let yourself go

Unfortunately, many people cannot withstand the onslaught of problems, give up and plunge into the abyss of despair. Against this background, motivation and the desire to take care of oneself disappear; a person may stop washing, cooking, or keeping order in the house.

If your condition is close to critical, and you are periodically visited by thoughts of death, read our article “What to do if you don’t want to live.”

Under no circumstances allow yourself such indulgences, even for a short time! On the contrary, now you need to show maximum care for the most important and dear person - yourself.

Think about what you would like that would help you take your mind off your painful thoughts at least a little. Sometimes even a bar of chocolate is enough to lift your spirits.

Reasons for doubt

The conditioned shifting from foot to foot overcomes us not only when we see no way out of a difficult situation.

The reason for “freezing in place” is as follows:

• There are several options for the next step and they all look tempting;
• It’s scary to take responsibility for the final choice;
• my head is confused, so there is no way to create a promotion route;
• there is really or actually not enough knowledge to take the next step;
• severe physical or moral fatigue has accumulated, which is why there is no resource for further advancement and volitional actions of choice;
• there is no desire or willpower to stand out from the crowd, and a step forward will certainly lead to this;
• the comfort of your loved ones depends on making a decision, and you don’t want to infringe on their interests even for the benefit of your personal goals;
• you intuitively feel that the upcoming business either “smells bad” or will end badly.
  And although your comrades or advisers convince you otherwise, your sixth sense screams into your mouth that you definitely shouldn’t go there. How to do what is asked.

Throw away your pity

Self-pity is a destructive feeling that takes a lot of energy. In addition, it is fraught with a certain danger - a person can get used to being pitiful and even begin to receive certain benefits from it.

For example, many people live for years as unemployed on meager benefits from the state, without even trying to look for work. But it’s disrespect for yourself to admit that you’re good for nothing and are ready to be content with crumbs from someone else’s table.

No matter how difficult the situation may be, you must preserve the image of a strong person, first of all, for yourself.

Why does a person need a goal?

Good question... Why are you studying? Why do you go to the store? Why this and that... Even children sometimes ask me the question: “Why do we study, and why then work, and why do everything...” And then we go to the psychological profile of the individual. It sounds complicated, but what is important to us is not the terms, but what a person is: what needs he has, what abilities or orientation, what motives of behavior.

His goals depend on this. For example, I want to be recognized and understood, and I’m also good at making videos, and I also want to earn a little or a lot of money. Therefore, my goal is to make a film about what is important to many. What will I get? They will understand and accept me (the film is relevant and interesting), I will become famous, and I will be able to make money from it. How I will go towards the goal is the second question.

So, we need a goal to fill the spiritual emptiness, to satisfy needs and realize ourselves. And this is much easier said than done. But don’t try to be discouraged or complain about life! As long as you have a goal, YOU WILL LIVE!

I recently read a story about a famous psychotherapist, Hedda Bolgar. She, for a minute, lived to be 103 years old! And the most interesting thing is that the last meeting with the client was scheduled for the day of her death. That is, Hedda worked until the very end! Therefore, goals in life are good, they are wonderful, they help us to be in motion and to live, and not to exist.

But we don’t always understand how to correctly set a goal in life and understand what you want to achieve.

Therefore, I suggest you take a test, for example, the “What is your purpose in life” test, which will help you figure out in which area you are most comfortable developing.

Most often, a person has such questions after failures in different areas, in turn or simultaneously. This leads to serious psychological problems. So, the loss of meaning in life can both play a cruel joke on us and give a new impetus to development. If you have such thoughts, I beg you, do not act rashly. Very little time will pass and you will see light in the window. Be patient!

Take an example from the strong

If you don't know what to do in a particular situation, try to find a guideline. Surely there are people in your circle who command your respect and admiration. Ask what they would do if they were in your place. If there are none, remember famous personalities or movie characters whose fortitude excites the imagination. Maybe as a child you dreamed of becoming someone - Superman, Spider-Man, RoboCop? Try to imagine what they would do in a similar situation, how they would behave.

I advise you to watch motivational films whose main characters have faced serious life difficulties:

• "The Shawshank Redemption";
• "Men";
• "The Pursuit of Happyness";
• “Three colors: white”;
• “Deaf span.”

A person himself does not know what he wants - HOW TO HELP him decide?

What is typical is that next to such an ignorant person, you can also suffer. It is very difficult to see a loved one suffering, unsure, indecisive. He can take on a thousand tasks and not complete a single one. At the same time, citing the fact that in the process he “became uninterested and he realized that it was not mine . If this is your loved one, for example:

• husband doesn't know what he wants
• the guy doesn't know what he wants
• woman doesn't know what she wants
• the man doesn't know what he wants
• son doesn't know what he wants
• if your loved one doesn't know what he wants
• the girl doesn't know what she wants
• the child does not know what he wants

The best thing we can do for them is to help them get rid of the feeling that they have no right to their desires. To do this, they must know and feel that we will accept what they want.

I sometimes observe in practice how one of the spouses nods at the other “he himself doesn’t know what he wants.” BUT, at the same time, if he tries to talk about his desires and needs, then the first will certainly begin to criticize and devalue the desires of his partner.

One, two, three like that. .. And now the husband (wife) has withdrawn and kept silent about his feelings and desires. Because he is afraid of not being approved . Why is he afraid that his desires will not be approved? Why doesn’t he defend them, although he could slam his fist on the table and bark that “I want it this way, hear me”! He is afraid because, again, in childhood, people were not approved of expressing themselves and their feelings, and some were even punished. And, being little, he simply learned to be afraid.

Also, if we are close to a person, we observe. We see what he does, how he lives. What he enjoys, what he unconsciously strives for. And we can remember this psychological truth: a person unconsciously always moves along the path of his intention.

In other words, even if he declares one thing out loud, but in practice does another, we can highlight this to him . For example, he says that he wants to study. But he doesn’t study himself, but instead rides a motorcycle around the city at night. This is his true desire.

Take a trip back in time

I borrowed this exercise from the arsenal of NLP practices. The first thing you need to do is go back in time. Remember some difficult situation that happened to you several years ago. Let it not be inferior to the current one in terms of the intensity of emotions and the degree of despair. Try to relive all the feelings that you experienced then.

Now return to the present. How do you feel about that problem now? There is not a trace left of the former bright negative emotions, is there?

Now it's time to move into the future. Imagine yourself a year from now. Turn on your imagination to the maximum - the image should be alive and realistic. From this image, look back at your current problem, which by then will have already been resolved. Surely now it doesn’t seem so global to you. Gradually return to the “here and now” state, trying to maintain that “cold”, slightly distant look.

10) Always say yes

Opportunities are always there—you just have to say yes. Even if the opportunity seems completely unrelated to what you want to do with your life, it never hurts to say yes.

As experience accumulates, learning never stops—everything you do and interact with becomes part of you.

When deciding what to do with your life, the first thing you need to know is how to make a choice.

At the end of the day, you want to look back on your life knowing that you made a choice rather than sitting at home afraid of it.

Now go, go with your life.

Take action

Let the mental part end here; it’s time to get down to business. If you don’t know what to do, you need to start doing at least something - do a general cleaning of the house, dig up the garden, prepare food. Only with the help of active actions can you distract yourself from painful thoughts and experiences that consume energy.

“If you feel discouraged, seek healing in work” (Abraham Lincoln).

If you have no desire to do something, you need to force yourself to work through willpower. Usually the hardest thing is to start, but then you get hooked and don’t want to stop.

How and what tests are done

If there is a suspicion of coronavirus, swabs are taken from the throat or nose to identify the causative agent of the infection. Laboratory blood tests are prescribed - general and biochemical. If respiratory symptoms are present, a computed tomography (CT) scan or chest x-ray is performed.

Upon referral from a doctor, tests are provided free of charge. Mandatory testing requires the following conditions:

• a diagnosis of pneumonia has been established, and there are contact persons at the place of residence;
• there is a person with confirmed Covid-19 in the apartment;
• there are symptoms of ARVI, and at the same time there are chronic diseases or the patient is over 60 years old.

When might you need help?

When the airways are blocked, it is impossible to inhale and exhale, the cough is absent or has insufficient intensity. Such cases require urgent intervention from loved ones, strangers in a public place. When choking on food, the lack of air inevitably leads to oxygen starvation of the human brain.

If a person chokes, then in the event of blackout and cardiac arrest, the rescuer will have only a few minutes to restore respiratory functions.

When a foreign body gets stuck in the respiratory tract

If a piece of food does not come out, or the person has choked, then cardiac massage and artificial respiration are not stopped until qualified medical help arrives. The car has the necessary equipment for resuscitation; further actions to save the victim will continue under the supervision of a doctor.

The effectiveness of rescue measures can be judged by the elimination of symptoms. The person regains consciousness, his skin acquires a healthy tint, and shortness of breath stops. Breathing, pulse and blood pressure also stabilize.

Tips to avoid choking on food

The smaller the pieces, the more likely it is that if they enter the trachea they will come out on their own when coughing. To avoid choking, children are taught to chew their food thoroughly until it has the consistency of puree. Elderly people should monitor the strength of their dentures. Their incorrect position leads to a large piece getting into the throat. It is not recommended to consume liquid and solid food together, eat on the go or while playing. The greatest danger comes from talking while eating.

Read also: Bitten by a poisonous snake: what to do, how to provide help, consequences of the bite