0 1979 September 29, 2021 at 07:57 pm Author of the publication: Yanina Burakova
A feeling of impasse and powerlessness, as if completely and irrevocably lost. How to move on when you give up? When it is unclear what to do, who to turn to for help...
The most difficult things to survive are events that lead to the complete nullification of the meaning of existence. A serious loss, an illness, an existential crisis... How to get out of a state of despair and why “advice from the Internet” does not work - we’ll talk further. First, let's look at the general reasons. This is important for understanding ways out of a deadlock. After all, it’s not just about the event or situation, but about your perception and subsequent actions.
About the problem
This usually happens during depression. Although most often it is the loss of the meaning of life that causes this condition. During which you don’t want anything. A person is depressed, he does not experience joy, does not show interest in anything, and constantly feels tired. His speeches are pessimistic, he does not want and cannot concentrate, sometimes thinks about death or suicide, sleeps constantly or does not do so at all. And most importantly, there is a feeling of worthlessness, accompanied by feelings of fear, anxiety and even guilt.
Life has lost its meaning... There is so much pain in this phrase. And what is the reason for this problem? With a shortage of what a person needs most. For some, it’s a job and an opportunity to make a dizzying career. For others - a loved one, spending time together, tender feelings and passion. For the rest - a family with a bunch of children. For others, the meaning of life is immeasurable wealth. For others, it’s an opportunity to travel and develop. There can be countless examples. But it all comes down to one simple truth. Fortunately. Yes, this is the meaning of life - to be happy. Or, as they say, to be in a state of complete satisfaction with the conditions of one’s existence and being. This is the meaning of life. This phenomenon, by the way, is actively studied by occultism, theology, psychology and philosophy.
Find someone to talk to.
In order to get rid of the oppressive all-consuming pain, a person must speak out. A good conversationalist is one who knows how to listen. This could be a close friend, a spiritual mentor, or a specialist in the field of psychology. If there is no opportunity to talk with such people, then a pet or a perennial tree will also do.
An ideal complement to this communication therapy is singing and orating. A loud, heart-rending cry relieves negative emotions and helps improve the overall psycho-emotional state. To do this, it is not at all necessary to look for deserted islands - noisy city attractions are perfect.
Eternal search
It’s a paradox, but many people understand that life has lost its meaning while... trying to find it. Such cases are not uncommon. Indeed, people who constantly think about the meaning of life are the most unhappy. They actively try to understand their desires, their own character and themselves. And many are not satisfied with the notorious answer to the eternal question, which assures that the meaning lies in happiness.
And then a person tries to find it in esoteric, philosophical and religious teachings, which, of course, do not give a clear answer to this question. Therefore, a person begins to look for it in music, literature, lyrics and even the natural sciences.
And in the overwhelming majority of cases, disappointment comes to him. He seems to have everything he needs for a fulfilling life - a job, close people, friends, a significant other, a good salary. But this no longer makes sense. Because the person was convinced: everything is decay. And slowly but surely he loses interest in everything. Begins to experience headaches, struggles with insomnia, and experiences chronic fatigue. And it’s very difficult to live like this. Trying to get distracted begins. In the best cases, a person is addicted to computer games. At worst, he drowns in alcohol and drugs. The most serious consequence is suicide. In general, real depression.
Several main causes of fatigue and depression
Before you fight a disease, you need to know its root cause. Fatigue may appear due to:
- With constant stress and depression.
First, the brain cells suffer from this, then the entire body as a whole. A person completely loses the feeling of joy, he can remain motionless for several hours and not leave the room for several days. Only a psychologist with extensive experience or medication treatment can help in such a situation; - With vitamin deficiency.
Fatigue may also occur due to a lack of B vitamins, folic acid and hemoglobin. First, a feeling of fatigue appears, then anemia develops, and as a result, the body begins to work at half capacity; - With diets.
A person who is losing weight limits their intake of glucose, which causes the cells to be in a state of weakness. Fatigue appears to a greater extent after mono-diets and fasting days; - With heavy physical activity.
Intense sports activities lead to fatigue; - With heavy mental load.
Often students are in a state of stress and depression for a long time after the session.
In addition to the five main reasons, fatigue can also be associated with taking medications
, some of them put a lot of stress on the body.
What to do?
If life has lost its meaning, then you don’t want to do anything. For the first time, the turning point, so to speak, this is permissible. But then you need to act. Either yourself, or at the suggestion of someone close and caring. Many people turn to psychologists. Of course, there are effective tips. But there is no universal recommendation that helps everyone equally.
So what to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Start looking for answers. First, it is important to determine what is happening. After all, the essence lies not just in a bad mood, parting with a loved one or accumulated fatigue. The loss of the meaning of life cannot be compared with any sadness.
And we also need to remember that we are all controlled by desires. And they need to be satisfied. What could be worse than not having what you want? If you do not satisfy your own spiritual needs, you cannot avoid misfortune. And a void that needs to be filled. To begin to gradually get rid of hatred towards yourself and your body, those around you and the world in general, you need to remember what a person has always wanted. Let’s say, as an example, this is a trip to the sunny Dominican Republic, to the gentle sea. Through force, you need to re-ignite this desire. Start planning your trip, packing your things, choosing a hotel. There is a saying: “Appetite comes with eating.” And in this case too. The person will be inspired in the process. And the result will be the satisfaction of his main desire, which entails a feeling of fulfillment, self-sufficiency and pleasure.
Assess the situation soberly
The first thing you need to do is put your emotions aside and assess the situation. Is she really that hopeless? Perhaps there are some advantages to it after all? How to proceed?
It's best to do this in writing so you don't miss anything. Write down all possible scenarios and their possible consequences.
You can ask someone you know to help you. The less this situation concerns him, the better. A fresh, unbiased look will be very helpful.
If you are faced with a serious life-changing choice, for example, where to go after school or where to go to work, read our article “How to develop intuition.” It will help you reach your subconscious and get an answer.
Analysis
Everyone knows that this is a research method in which the object being studied is divided into separate parts for better understanding. Analysis is relevant not only to mathematics, programming and medicine. But also to the topic under discussion. What to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Analyze the current situation.
You need to evaluate your actions and identify mistakes. Nothing just happens. And the reason why a person found himself on the brink also has roots. But the most important thing is that you should never judge yourself. Everything has already happened. What has happened has passed. And now we need to find out why everything happened this way, so as not to repeat our mistakes in the future.
It is very important not to feel regret. This is a bad feeling that once again depresses a person. He must accept the moment as it is. And even in the most terrible, wild situation, try to find the positives. At least that life goes on. And in the future there is a chance to achieve success.
And even if a person has an incredibly difficult life, the story of which can bring tears to the most callous person in the Universe, there is no need to feel sorry for yourself for a long time. Yes, everything collapsed. The bottom is already, there is nowhere to fall further. Therefore you need to rise. With difficulty, through pain and torment. It can help to realize that the perception of everything around you is just a matter of adjustment. Yes, it is easier to reason than to worry about everything, but the person himself will come to this conclusion when he gets out of a deplorable state.
9) Be confident
Many of us don't pursue what we really want in life because we feel like we're not good enough. Self-doubt creeps in and prevents us from taking action.
But no matter how difficult it is, you have to rise above it and become better. Know your worth. Change your negative thoughts to positive ones.
And I know it's easier said than done when you're lost in a constant loop of negativity, but good things take time. It takes time and effort to rewire your brain to be more optimistic and confident.
And to learn to be confident, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.
A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that mock interview participants who sat up reported "feeling more enthusiastic, excited, and powerful, while participants who fell reported feeling more fearful, hostile, nervous." , quiet, still passive, lethargic, sleepy and lethargic."
Remember, the only thing you control is your actions. When your mind tells you that you can't do something, prove it wrong! This is your servant, not your master.
You only get life once, so you might as well believe in yourself and make the most of it.
Release of emotions
If a person is overcome by the question “Why am I living?”, then it’s time to get a beautiful, clean notebook with a pen and turn it into a diary. This is a very powerful technique. And you shouldn't underestimate him.
“And what should I write in it?” - a person mired in depression will ask sluggishly, but with a grain of skepticism. And the answer is simple - everything. Absolutely anything. Thoughts can begin with any phrases and expressions - there is no need to structure and order them, because this is not an essay. A diary is a way to express your emotions. As a rule, a person who constantly asks the question “Why am I living?” does not want to come into contact with anyone. And emotions accumulate. So it’s better to reflect them on paper. Over time, this will become a habit. And then a person will notice that in his head, as well as on paper, there is no longer such confusion as was observed at the very beginning.
And then in your diary you can begin to note the results of your work on yourself. Is anyone stopping you from sketching out a small plan for the future?
By the way, when you feel better, you need to find something you like. It’s not for nothing that they say that a person is alive as long as he is interested in living. You need to find a hobby that not only brings pleasure, but also instills at least minimal optimism and joy. Maybe start breeding parrots? This will be a great idea, because everyone knows that our little brothers give boundless positivity, joy and help us get through life’s trials. After all, they love their owner infinitely. And love gives us strength.
Is it possible to get rid of fatigue with medications?
There are several ways to cure chronic fatigue
medications:
- Medicines containing Ginkgo Biloba leaf extract. They improve brain function, calm and normalize sleep. It is recommended to take them to improve the condition of neural connections;
- General restoration of strength is provided by unsaturated Omega-3 acid. It affects the entire body;
- If you have a feeling of irritation and anxiety, then the drug “Tenoten” or motherwort tincture will help relieve it.
Each of the above medications must be taken three times a day. It is not recommended to take the medicine at night.
For whom should one live?
People, having fallen into powerlessness and tired of looking for the reasons why they found themselves on the brink, begin to ask this question. Look for a reason from the outside, so to speak. Some, through force, begin to live for a loved one, parents, beloved pet or children. Maybe it helps. But the key phrase here is “through force.” Because the problem that affected a person directly and in the most immediate way remains unresolved.
You need to live for yourself. Selfish? Not at all. And even if yes, there is nothing wrong with healthy, productive selfishness. You need to stop thinking about what you can do for others. And finally, put yourself first.
By the way, often the cause of deep depression lies precisely in this. The fact is that man has never lived for himself. He did what was customary. Did what needed to be done. I tried to live up to the expectations of my parents or boss. I tried to meet generally accepted standards, so that “everything is like people’s.” Although deep down I wanted something completely different. And the realization of this usually comes at the moment when he is standing on the edge. But there is no need to despair. We must remember that there is enough time for everything that you really want to do. This is true. Because desires always subjugate time. And there is no need to wait - we need to start implementing them immediately. And then questions about why life has lost its meaning will fade into the background.
Indulge in memories.
Regardless of where you are, you need to try to relax and transport yourself to where it was once good. There is one rule - no one should exist in this plot except the dreamer himself. A calm melody or aromatic tea will help you tune in to visualization.
It doesn’t matter where consciousness ends up - on your favorite fruit tree or in the arms of a sea wave. The main thing is that it is nice and cozy there.
Memories of funny stories, which often immediately bring a smile, have a beneficial effect.
It is important to know! A smile is not only a manifestation of positive emotions or a way of non-verbal communication. Harvard medical scientists have shown that using the facial nerves to create a smile can “trick” the brain into believing that everything is fine and there is no danger.
This technique helps you survive difficulties without losing your composure.
Forget everything
This is another effective method. He is able to help. Anyone - be it a man drowning in depression, or a woman who has lost the meaning in life. The psychologist's advice is as follows: you need to sweep away the past. Forget him. Throw it out of your memory forever. The past often pulls a person down, like a stone to the bottom of a river, tied to the foot of a drowned man.
We need to burn all bridges. Break contacts with unpleasant people with whom the person was forced to communicate. Quit the job you hate. Was your boss oppressive? So you can finally express to his eyes everything that has accumulated in your soul. Divorce your legitimate “other half”, with whom there is no longer any chance of establishing a life. Move from a boring and hated city to another place. In general, we are talking about the beginning of a truly new life. The one that everyone loves to talk about today.
And here’s the most important thing: with every action a person performs, he must pass through himself the awareness that he is becoming a new person. Not who he was. You can even consolidate this with visualization - change your appearance (haircut, hair and contact lens color, image, tan, etc.). All this may not be taken seriously by some. But, again, it only seems so from the outside. After doing all of the above, a person will look around, look at himself in the mirror, and understand that he is already different. And he has no right to return to his old life.
Mobilize all your resources
A difficult situation is not the time to relax and give up. On the contrary, you need to use all your hidden and dormant reserves. If, for example, you are suddenly faced with an acute shortage of money, you need to take an inventory of your skills and abilities for their potential profitability.
Are you fluent in English? Great, you can earn extra money by tutoring. Do you know how to fix computers? Why not do it for money.
It’s also not a sin to use external resources. These include useful acquaintances and connections.
Break
When thoughts like “What am I doing?” begin to appear in a person’s head. and “What am I doing with my life?”, it’s time to pause. Preferably long term. In order not to completely wallow in despondency and not fall into real depression, you need to urgently take a vacation, rent a house by the lake or in the forest and go there. A sharp change in the situation and unity with nature saved a considerable number of people.
What after? Then you will need to give yourself answers to the notorious questions “What am I doing?” and “What am I doing with my life?” Realize what exactly causes discomfort. Why exactly is there dissatisfaction and when did these questions actually arise? And then - find solutions to problems. Maybe find a new meaning in life. As a rule, people who take a break in time and deal with the oppression that has begun to accumulate do not reach the edge and do not fall into deep depression.
By the way, a break is not complete without planning the near future and setting goals. They, like the meaning of life, should be in every normal person who wants to be an accomplished person. Goals do not have to be global (buy a villa in Spain, switch from a Lada to a Mercedes, start an investment business, etc.). They must be feasible. And the kind for which I would like to wake up in the morning. It is desirable that the goals be long-term. Three is enough. It’s better to write them down in the notorious diary. It might look like this: “Goal No. 1: save up for a year to vacation in Greece. #2: Do 5 minutes of exercise every morning. No. 3: improve English to a conversational level.” Goals should motivate and set you up for positive life changes. This is the main principle of their production.
5) Start saving
This tip may be more practical than others on the list, but that doesn't make it any less important.
Money is an undeniable part of society and having money to achieve your dreams is absolutely necessary.
"Savings gives you the freedom to live life on your own terms," says Matt Becker, certified financial planner and founder of Mom and Dad Money.
“When I lost my job three years ago, my wife and I used it as an opportunity to start the business we dreamed of, instead of finding a new salary as quickly as possible... We could only make this decision because of the years we had spent saving our savings."
Whether it's going to school, studying abroad, working somewhere else, starting a business, or traveling for a year or two, you'll need money to do it.
Make sure you don't get stuck paycheck to paycheck, otherwise you'll never have the time or resources to do the things you want.
Whether you have a high or low income, there are 2 simple principles for saving:
1) Tackle High-Interest Debt First: To start saving more, you need to tackle your debt right away, especially high-interest debt that is causing you to pay outrageous fees and interest.
2) Cut costs: Pretty simple. Look at all your expenses and think about what you can realistically cut. $5 a day equals $140 a month. Keep your budget tight and spend moderately.
Another popular tip from financial gurus is the 50/30/20 rule.
This means that at least 20% of your income should go into savings. Meanwhile, another 50% should go to essential items and 30% to personal items.
Help your neighbor
It’s not easy for a person on the edge. But the depressive state he experiences also affects people close to him, who begin to think: how to help a person who has lost the meaning of life?
That's a very difficult question. There is no universal answer. It all depends on individual psychological characteristics. What helps one person may not lift another out of depression.
One thing is certain. Someone who knows him well has a chance to help a person. A person who is well acquainted with the specific characteristics of his loved one can roughly guess what actions need to be taken to make him feel better. The main thing is to avoid standards that usually demonstrate nothing but indifference, even if the person really wanted to help. These are phrases such as “Everything will be fine”, “Don’t worry, life will get better”, “Just forget!” etc. You need to forget about them. A person faces a problem: the meaning of life is lost, how to live on? No “Just forget it!” out of the question.
So what to do? To begin with, just come to the person. A simple “How are you?” may well make him want to share. But not the psychological “Do you want to talk about it?” It is necessary to avoid pressure and do everything that usually lifts his mood. Unless, of course, he drives away the well-wisher. In this case, there is no need to be offended - he feels bad, the turning point has not yet passed (if a long time does not pass, then, unfortunately, you will have to see a doctor for antidepressants).
So, you can quietly turn on his favorite music or TV series, bring his favorite food and drinks, and start talking about the topic that interests him the most. Little things? Perhaps, but they will, at least a little, help restore a person’s taste for life.
Lay low.
The most dangerous thing that awaits a person who has received a slap in the face from fate is making rash decisions. When emotions and feelings take over, it becomes impossible to carefully calculate actions. A good example of a behavior model is the thoughts of Scarlett O'Hara, the main character of the film Gone with the Wind, who in all difficult situations tried to find self-control and uttered the key phrase: “I'll think about it tomorrow.”
The decision to stop and take a pause to process what happened allows you to buy time to weigh the pros and cons.
Methodology of the last day of life
This is the last thing I would like to talk about. When a person is depressed and no longer sees the meaning in his existence, it does not hurt to think: what if this day of life was the last? The thought of the imminent disappearance of all reality will cheer everyone up. Of course, when a person is alive and well, he has enough time for depression, sadness and despondency. It sounds exaggerated, but it's true. But as soon as he thinks about the fact that he only has 24 hours left, everything takes on a different meaning, not to mention the fact that a rethinking of values occurs.
And when there is no desire to exist, it is worth using this technique. Live this day like it’s your last. Perhaps after this the desire to exist will flare up again.
Losing the meaning of life is the worst thing that can happen. And it would be better if no one went through this. But in any case, the most important thing is to hope for the best in the depths of your soul. And act. After all, as the great American writer Jack London said: “Man is given one life. So why not live it properly?”
Don't cut from the shoulder
Never make impulsive decisions. In a shattered, unstable state, there is a high probability of making a mistake, which will be very difficult to correct later. Sometimes it is useful to suspend the situation for a while, perhaps everything will resolve itself. If you don’t know what to do, and you can’t postpone making a decision, choose the path with the least risks.
Sometimes to solve a problem you just need to take a break. Or, as some American psychologists say, “go out onto the balcony” - breathe fresh air there, and then, already rested, return to the problem.
Pause does not mean “sit and do nothing.” You just need to distract yourself with something. For example, you can train your brain on simulators from Vikium, which I recommend to readers in all my articles and which I myself use three times a day. They are free, exciting, and besides, there are already a hundred of them now and new ones are constantly appearing.
Another option is to read a book. Not necessarily fiction - you can read authors such as Napoleon Hill, Robert Kiyosaki, Jim Rohn, Randy Gage, etc.
Throw away your pity
Self-pity is a destructive feeling that takes a lot of energy. In addition, it is fraught with a certain danger - a person can get used to being pitiful and even begin to receive certain benefits from it.
For example, many people live for years as unemployed on meager benefits from the state, without even trying to look for work. But it’s disrespect for yourself to admit that you’re good for nothing and are ready to be content with crumbs from someone else’s table.
No matter how difficult the situation may be, you must preserve the image of a strong person, first of all, for yourself.
Enlist the support of loved ones
As you know, friends are known in trouble. Now more than ever you need their support and participation.
“Sometimes the presence of another person, even silently, helps to cope with despair” (Marc Levy).
I absolutely agree with the author of the quote. Tell us about your problem and you will feel better. Most likely, your loved ones will offer to provide you with all possible help. Don't refuse, but don't take too much either. Don't forget to thank them warmly and, if possible, do something good for them in return.
Don't let yourself go
Unfortunately, many people cannot withstand the onslaught of problems, give up and plunge into the abyss of despair. Against this background, motivation and the desire to take care of oneself disappear; a person may stop washing, cooking, or keeping order in the house.
If your condition is close to critical, and you are periodically visited by thoughts of death, read our article “What to do if you don’t want to live.”
Under no circumstances allow yourself such indulgences, even for a short time! On the contrary, now you need to show maximum care for the most important and dear person - yourself.
Think about what you would like that would help you take your mind off your painful thoughts at least a little. Sometimes even a bar of chocolate is enough to lift your spirits.
