How to start a new life and change yourself: 10 tips from a psychologist

Reasons to start life over with a new leaf

For all people, sooner or later there comes a time when you want to give up on everything and radically change your life. There is a desire to turn back time and correct mistakes. There may be many reasons for this, but everyone has their own. We tried to collect and highlight the most common ones. Namely:

Least favorite place to work . It's not often you meet a person who works at a job he loves. Often we choose a profession not according to the call of our hearts, but based on some circumstances (for example, we are satisfied with the salary or work schedule).
Relationships that have exhausted themselves . In order to find your soul mate, sometimes you have to build relationships with several partners. With some people get short-term alliances, with others longer ones. Often, each partner understands that this is not their soul mate, but no one wants to change anything in their life. Then the couple continues a relationship that has no future. In this case, both suffer.
Unsettled personal life . Dissatisfaction with the present may be due to the fact that a person does not have a life partner. Such people want to start a family and arrange their personal life. But for some reason this cannot be done. Many people decide to start a new life after a divorce, hoping for a bright future.
Bad habits . Very often our lives are spoiled by bad habits. For example, a person likes to drink. It seems like nothing, but when alcohol becomes the cause of uncontrollable behavior and unpredictable consequences, changes are vital for an addicted person.
Serious illnesses . There is nothing worse than feeling helpless against illness. When a person becomes seriously ill, he begins to approach life differently. All the troubles that happened before seem insignificant. A person can have a hard time bearing not only his own illness, but also the troubles of people close to him.
Problems with excess weight. People with extra pounds are often dissatisfied with their body and the state of affairs. They understand that something needs to change, because their personal life, health, degree of self-esteem, etc. depend on it.

Where to start a new life

The hardest thing in any business is taking the first step. Many people who decide to start their lives from scratch experience chaos in their thoughts. They understand that something needs to change, but they don’t know where to start.

We have selected a few tips that will not let you get confused at the first stage of change.

Finish all previously started tasks . You shouldn't start a new life with unresolved issues. For example, your ex-boyfriend still calls, talks about his problems and wants to renew the relationship. If this communication is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you, take courage and express your opinion about the current situation. Let the person go and start a new life.
Get rid of unnecessary things and garbage . It is believed that if you have not used an item for a year, you will no longer need it. Clean up your surroundings.
Forget the past . The past will forever remain in the past. If you decide to change your job and take the first steps, don’t look back, don’t think that maybe you made a mistake. You are starting a new period of life, and the previous one has already passed.
Say goodbye to the present . Try to live for tomorrow. Make plans, think that a happier period of life awaits you ahead.
Define a clear, specific and realistic goal for yourself . For example, if you want to become a financially independent person, then you don’t need to immediately dream of a million-dollar fortune. Try to identify a realistic dream. Once achieved, you can always set the bar higher.
Motivate yourself . Depending on your goal, you need to think about what motivation methods you will use. For example, you are dissatisfied with your appearance due to excess weight. In this case, you can hang photographs of models throughout your apartment; their bodies will encourage you to exercise and eat right.
Keep a positive attitude . People with an optimistic outlook on life begin a new life. Repeat to yourself several times a day the phrase “I am strong, I can do anything.” Over time, you will believe in your strength, and you will be able to overcome any problems.
Decide what exactly you want to change . Write it down, draw it, say it out loud.
Visualize your dream . Imagine how you wanted to live in 5-10 years. Many people with a clear vision of the future achieve their dreams in reality.
Believe in yourself and your strength . If you do not have faith that you will realize your plans, then others will not believe it. It is impossible to achieve anything without believing in yourself.

Tip eight. If things don't work out, try setting some goals for yourself.

Perhaps success in your quest for a new destiny will not come immediately. If you feel like your strength is running out, try setting small but true goals for yourself. For example, decide to give up such a bad habit as smoking, because it prevents you from living well. Having decided to quit this harmful activity, set a date when you will start giving up cigarettes. Try to fulfill your plans exactly.

Write a plan of your actions for yourself. And finally, having overcome the bad habit, rejoice in your victory. After all, you have already taken one step towards a new life. And the next morning tell yourself: “If I’m starting a new life, then giving up smoking is not enough, there’s still a lot that needs to be done.” Set a new goal for yourself, and then boldly go towards it. Gradually you will achieve your main goal - you will begin to live the way you want and breathe deeply.

How to change your life. Active phase

After you have mentally said goodbye to your past life and continue to look into the future with optimism, you need to move on to the active phase.

If you decide to change your job, start going to interviews and looking for suitable vacancies. If the reason for changes in life is excess weight, then sign up for a gym today and start eating healthy.

In addition, use the following tips to help you quickly quit everything, move away and start your life again.

Eliminate people from your life who prevent you from moving forward . It's always very difficult. Especially if you have been communicating with a person for several years. But here, of course, you have a choice: either you grow and move on, or you accept life as it is. There are people with whom it is pleasant to communicate; they charge others with their positivity. And there are so-called energy vampires. By communicating with them, you lose vital energy; they force you to move not along the path of progress, but along the path of regression. Keep your interactions with people you don't like to a minimum. After all, by and large, they need communication with you, not you.
Communicate more often with people close to you in spirit . To make it easier for you to start a new life, meet more often with people who, like you, have radically changed their lives. They will be the ones who will be able to support you and share valuable experience. To get started, look for bloggers or other like-minded people online. Next, it is important to find such people in real life, because nothing motivates like a real example, a real person.
Don't run away from problems . There is a way out of any, even the most difficult situation. Therefore, do not put off solving problems, but act.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes . We all make mistakes and make mistakes. But this is the only way we gain invaluable experience. Although the proverb says that only fools learn from their mistakes in life, this is approximately how it turns out. Until you get burned, you won't learn anything.
Learn to enjoy the little things . True happiness cannot be bought for any amount of money. Rich people are absolutely sure that money does not bring happiness. Try to understand that happiness is not material wealth, but the absence of illnesses for you or your loved ones, the opportunity to communicate with relatives, the opportunity to see beauty, hear beautiful music, etc.
Fight laziness . When a person is idle, he has enough time to think. As a result, stupid thoughts appear that will constantly slow you down and prevent you from moving forward. But you are about to start a new life, so keep yourself busy with something more often and then apathy will not overtake you. The articles will help you with this: What to do if you don’t want anything and How to stop putting things off until later
Make new acquaintances . To make it easier for you to start a new life, expand your circle of acquaintances. To do this, attend social events more often. For example, you worked as an accountant for 10 years, but at one point you decided to go into the beauty industry. Then you better go to festivals, open exhibitions or training courses in the desired area. There you will meet like-minded people, make useful connections and simply find new friends.
Stop looking at others with hostility. Envy is an obstacle to a new life. You shouldn’t think that someone has a better fur coat, figure or car. Be happy with what you have. Many people don't have even a hundredth of what you have. More successful people can become a reference point for you to strive for. How to get rid of envy and anger - 4 simple rules
Love yourself, do what is beneficial for you, but try not to feel sorry for yourself . Stop thinking for other people and acting in their interests. You must love yourself, pay more attention to yourself. However, you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself. For example, if you decide to lose weight, then eat less unhealthy foods and work out hard at the gym. Feeling sorry for yourself will only push you further away from being thin. The articles will help you with this: How to find time for yourself and How to become a confident woman
Constantly improve . If you are starting life from scratch, it means you don’t like your current level. In this case, think about who you would like to be like, and go towards your cherished goal. Don't look at those who are worse than you. Focus on the best.
Overcome obstacles . Life is arranged in such a way that sometimes various difficulties arise on our way. These are the kind of problems that need to be solved, and not avoided.
Learn to express your feelings and not be ashamed of tears . Almost all living things can express their emotions. But sometimes people suppress various feelings within themselves. Thus, they harm the body. There is no need to hold back your tears. It's not shameful at all. Thanks to this, we get the much-needed release. How to forget about everything so as not to be nervous and live calmly
Look at the world more simply . If you get nervous and worried about every little thing, this can lead to various diseases. Everyone knows that nerve cells do not regenerate, but few take this statement seriously. How to calm your nerves and relieve stress
Don't strive for perfection . There are no ideal people. Maybe someone has a perfect body, but a low level of intelligence. You need to strive for the best, but you shouldn’t get hung up on perfection.
Learn to be grateful . Complain less about life and be grateful for everything that fate has prepared for you. In the morning, say to yourself the phrase: “I am happy and grateful for that...”
Concentrate on your desires . If you change your life for the sake of some goals, then go towards them, no matter what.
Change your habits . A new life requires new habits. For example, make it a rule to learn 20 English words every day, or read 20 pages of famous classic works. Thanks to literature, you will change your thinking, perception of life, etc.
Train your willpower . Often the desire to change something is not enough. You have to fight with your inner self. For example, you know that physical exercise is useful, but you always don’t have enough time to do it. But take it and do some exercises. Or give up fatty and fried foods, fast foods, and switch to a healthy diet. In order to curb your willpower and train yourself to do something, you need to perform certain actions for at least 21 days. A sustainable habit is formed in 21 days.
Find new hobbies . A new life presupposes the presence of something new. Think about what you would like to do. Perhaps you have always been interested in dance, foreign languages, or yoga. Sign up for courses based on your interests.
Start changing your life right now . If your new life involves moving to another city, it means that you should pick up and change your place of residence in the near future. Think less about whether you should or should not do this. Act otherwise, you will miss the moment and return to your old life.

Advice seventh. Control your negative emotions

Good advice for those looking to start a new life is to remember to control your negative emotions. After all, often a person striving to start living again, having stumbled once, forever loses faith in success. And often this happens because negative emotions take over us. Of course, this is the wrong course of action. There will be even more difficulties on the new path than when using old templates. But this is your new life: you believe in it, you are building it, so don’t be afraid of disappointments and don’t accumulate anger, fatigue and aggression. Difficulties strengthen us, but do not lead us to death. Remember this and move forward. Be optimistic no matter what!

Let's start life from scratch today

In order to change your life for the better, you need to act today. We have compiled a sample daily routine and necessary rituals that will help you feel like a new person.

Wake up earlier than usual . Setting your alarm clock just a few minutes earlier will still add something new to your life.
Go for a run or do some exercise . Physical activity not only has a beneficial effect on the body, strengthens the spirit, but also improves mood.
Take a contrast shower . Thanks to it, you will improve your body, become well-invigorated and finally wake up.
Now you can devote a few minutes to meditation . After charging, your body has finally woken up, but now you need to tune your mind in the right way. Meditation is perfect for this.
Have a good breakfast.

After all the procedures done, you will certainly be in a great mood, which you will need to maintain throughout the day.

Go to work, and do not forget to smile at everyone, even strangers. After a while, you will notice that the people around you also radiate joy.
In the process of work and rest, try to communicate with people - “lighters” who will ignite in you the enthusiasm to conquer new heights.
At the end of the day, take time for self-development. You can read books, watch educational programs, listen to an audiobook, study foreign languages, etc.

How changes occur at different periods of life

At different periods of life, people's values are different.

A 20-year-old person tolerates changes more easily and is inclined to think less and act more.
30-year-old people are more thoughtful about trying to start a new life. It is at this age that a person strives to find himself. During this period, there is a desire to change specialty and place of residence.
Starting a new life at 40 is more difficult. People do not radically change their existing way of life so often, but during this period there is an active reassessment of values. For most parents, their children have grown up and do not require their care. Therefore, people at this age begin to pay more attention to themselves.
At 50 years old, women feel that they are still young, and their future depends only on themselves. They change themselves, make adjustments to their lives. It is often at this age that people find their soul mates and begin to live for their own pleasure.

No matter how old you are, if you decide to change your life and start over from scratch, we recommend:

Social level

Conduct an analysis: what kind of people do you surround yourself with, with whom do you communicate, do they bring you positive emotions or do they just drain your energy? It is useful to periodically review your environment. And not only real, but also virtual, because for many people their morning begins with viewing their Instagram feed. Think about what your brain sees at this moment, what information it absorbs. Even if these are beautiful pictures, but they cause negativity, envy, anger, you need to limit such content.

Also, perhaps there are people in your circle whose lives you admire and you yourself would like to achieve the same results. If there are such role models, ask them how they got to where they are and do the same.

Also, get into the habit of thanking those who bring you positive emotions, support, inspire and motivate you. This helps a lot to switch to a positive wave.

If you put things in order on these four levels and take small steps towards a better version of yourself for at least three weeks, starting that very new life in the New Year will be much easier.

Advice from psychologists that will encourage you to take action

If you turn to a psychologist with the question, “How to start a new life and change yourself?”, most likely you will be asked to do some exercises. Now we will analyze them in detail.

Collage of wishes . Take a piece of paper (it’s better if it’s a Whatman paper of at least A3 size) and several women’s magazines. Make a list of your wishes. Cut out pictures from magazines that match your wishes and paste them on a poster. Place your poster in a visible place. You must see him constantly. As your wishes come true (and they will definitely begin to come true), cross them out. Thanks to the collage, you will not forget about your goals.
Saying goodbye to bad qualities . Think about what negative qualities you are endowed with. It could be envy, laziness, fear of change, etc. Write them all down on a piece of paper and set it on fire. Now take the ashes and scatter them to the wind. At the same time, mentally imagine that you have gotten rid of these qualities, and they will never return to you.
We draw up a summary of the life we have lived . Often, when a person strives to start over from scratch, he becomes disappointed in the years he has lived and becomes depressed. It seems to him that part of his life has been lived in vain. But it is not always the case. Take a piece of paper and write down the joyful events of the past years, your achievements or successes. For example, you received a higher education, achieved recognition and respect at work, became parents, traveled and saw the world, etc. There is no need to perceive the past as the worst part of your life. It’s just a passed stage, after which a happy future opens up. Related article: How to sum up the past year
Change your image . Decide on bold experiments. Try to radically change your image (dye your hair, get a new haircut, buy extravagant clothes, etc.). Decide for yourself that you should enter your new life renewed.

Give up bad habits

How to live in a new way if negative habits drag you into the past? No way! Experts say that it takes three weeks for a person to form any habit. During this short time, the brain acquires a new pace of life. But getting rid of harmful behavior is much more difficult. But the result is worth it. Start going to the gym to lose weight, stop smoking, stop eating huge amounts of sweets. In the fight against unnecessary habits, you will need willpower, persistence and patience!