For a person with high stress tolerance, an unpleasant situation is just a good opportunity to learn something new.
However, each of us is far from being an optimist. The good news is that the human brain can be reprogrammed, which makes it easier to cope with failures and difficulties. In our article we will give some tips on how to change your outlook on life. From this article you will learn:
- What does outlook on life mean?
- Why change your outlook on life
- What are the reasons for a negative attitude towards life?
- How to change your outlook on life
- What books will help with this?
- What films are worth watching to reconsider your attitude towards life?
Optimism and stress resistance
Emotionally stable people are able to easily adapt to any circumstances, focusing on opportunities. Any person who gets a new job will find that it is quite difficult for him to cope with his responsibilities. Sometimes activities may seem more difficult than they were before. Moreover, the new job takes more time and effort compared to the previous position. In fact, many people find it difficult to leave their comfort zone, so they perceive changes in their lives very negatively. This phenomenon is temporary, and soon the person realizes that he has made the right choice, but, unfortunately, this realization comes at the wrong time.
It is important to understand that not everything always works out the way we want. At such moments, people act differently: some are ready to come to terms with what happened, others regret it. Emotional balance is about maintaining hope that you can change the situation for the better.
WHAT ARE ILLUSIONS?
Everything in life tells us that man is destined to experience in earthly happiness something deceptive, an empty illusion. For this, deep in the essence of things lie mysteries.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Illusion is a key concept in this book. Therefore, before we begin to discuss specific illusions that turn our lives into constant torment, we must understand what illusions are in principle. This book has a special understanding of the word “illusion” - psychotherapeutic.
Psychology, for example, defines illusions as “deceptive perceptions.” Look at the glass of water with the spoon dangling in it. At the air-water interface, a normal spoon appears to break. This is an error of perception, or, in other words, an illusion. If we pick up two balls of the same mass, but different sizes, then the larger one will seem heavier to us - this is also an illusion from a psychological point of view. Psychiatry also has its own understanding of illusion. For example, if a person begins to feel that he is being persecuted, when in fact no one cares about him, then this, psychiatry explains, is a painful, “pathological illusion.”
Reasons for negativity
A good attitude towards life is formed from childhood. Our first teachers are always our parents. If they believed that life is filled with sheer negativity, troubles and bad people, then we will also perceive everything that happens to us.
Often, the worldview is seriously influenced by the experience of adolescence, namely the relationships between adolescents of different genders. Women and men experience failures in love in the same way, so in the future they begin to have a negative attitude towards representatives of the opposite sex. Of course, such “dramas” do not happen in all novels, but quite often.
How to change your worldview
Often, a value-based attitude towards life arises in people who were able to overcome a terrible illness or avoid death. Realizing that they could lose everything in an instant, they begin to realize how petty and unworthy of attention were quarrels with relatives, conflicts with colleagues, as well as the constant desire for material wealth. Such people tend to enjoy every day; they perceive their life as a valuable gift and enjoy every moment.
Any person who, fortunately, has not encountered incurable diseases and other tragedies must realize that life can be very short. Therefore, try not to force yourself into constant “frameworks” and the pursuit of material wealth, forgetting to appreciate the present moments, the smiles of your family and friends.
Sometimes people don't have enough time to find meaning in their whole life. So maybe you should live not for the sake of something, but simply for the sake of life?! This does not mean that you should stop making plans for the future. Without goals and desires, our life becomes boring and uninteresting. Just don’t forget the importance of the “priceless gift.”
Relationship crisis
Every married couple experiences a crisis in their relationship. What does this mean?
- In mutual irritation . To survive this period, you will need time, patience and the desire to maintain the relationship;
- Lack of trust in each other . The result of this may be the aggressive behavior of the husband or the secrecy of the wife. The more negativity comes from a man, the more a woman closes down. This makes the man even more angry. It turns out to be a vicious circle. To get out of it, a woman needs to open up to her husband and ask him to listen to her;
- The husband becomes petty and stingy. He feels that his wife is moving away from him, so he has no desire to invest in her.
To get out of the crisis, you need to understand its causes. And for this you will have to calmly talk and sort things out.
Fighting negativity
A healthy attitude towards life is the key to success and happiness.
People often tend to blame others for their failures. This is perhaps the first place to start the fight. Remember, if you have a bad attitude towards your work, then only you are to blame for this, since you could not, perhaps, get a better education or find a more worthy place.
Is your wife not perfect? This means that you did not have enough oratorical talent or intellectual abilities to find a common language with her and establish a common life together. Perhaps you hate people. Alas, the problem here lies with you.
Therefore, it is so important to learn to take responsibility for your life, and also try to change it for the better. Remember that you are the architect of your own destiny, therefore, you do not need to blame the state, laws and people around you for your failures.
Relationship stages
In the process of development, marriage goes through several stages:
- Falling in love . This is the most beautiful and romantic time. During this period, lovers see the world in bright colors. They don't notice any flaws in each other. This stage lasts approximately 3 years. Many couples get married at this time;
- After falling in love comes addiction . Partners begin to see flaws in each other;
- In any relationship, quarrels are inevitable. The partner no longer seems ideal; his shortcomings are clearly visible and annoying. Falling in love and euphoria have disappeared somewhere. Many at this stage wonder: why did they get married at all?
- At the next stage, there comes the realization that life goes on, you need to cooperate , run a household, raise children, pay utility bills;
- If the couple has gone through difficult times, a period of respect . The partner respects his other half for her boundless patience. The couple becomes mature, care and tenderness reign in the family, which become the foundation of a strong relationship;
- The stage of respect moves into the stage of friendship . Partners become close people, completely trust each other, share their most intimate things;
- After going through all the stages, the stage of true love begins . It takes a long way to get this feeling. This will require patience and wisdom. But people can enjoy happiness.
Calm your mind
In order to learn to control your own thoughts, you need to begin to become aware of them. Let's try?! Take a deep breath and try to clear your head of all thoughts. This way you create free space for something new, unusual and non-standard. Moreover, your mind is at rest - you are the one taking a break for its work.
Sometimes we load ourselves up with problems and failures so much that we cannot look at the world from a positive perspective. At such moments you need to stop! This could be a rest in silence, during which you must observe yourself and understand where your own thoughts are and where they are imposed from the outside. This technique should not be neglected. Just start and everything will work out!
Resentment and guilt
Almost every person has a burden of grievances that he carries with him throughout his life. Continuing to “chew” unpleasant memories, people destroy their personality. In addition to internal harmony, grievances cause significant harm to the nervous system. Often, unpleasant memories provoke surges in blood pressure and increased heart rate, which can lead to a heart attack.
It is important to understand that forgetting about the offense does not mean that you should be lenient towards the offender’s bad behavior or continue to communicate with him as if nothing had happened. Such actions give the past the opportunity to spoil your present and future. Try to switch to something positive in moments of unpleasant memories. Try not to keep talking about past grievances. If you once again notice that you are starting to complain to a friend, colleague or relative about the situation of past years, then stop. Change the subject and say something that makes you feel good.
Types of relationships
Family psychology divides the relationship between husband and wife into several types:
- Cooperation. There is complete mutual understanding and mutual support in the relationship. This type is the best for a family;
- Parity. In such a relationship, both spouses are equal. When constructing them, a certain benefit is pursued;
- Competition . One of the partners wants to reach great heights and get ahead of his spouse. This can lead to tension in the relationship;
- Competition . One spouse tries to dominate the other. In such relationships between spouses there is a struggle of interests. And this leads to the destruction of the family;
- Antagonism . Rivalry between husband and wife will inevitably lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Antagonism - rivalry, competition, struggle, contradiction, confrontation.
Source Wikipedia
Create a life that delights you
Take your time to think about what you really like. Growing up, most people focus on insignificant things. We work in a job we don’t like, spend time in an uninteresting company, and so on. This happens only because it is necessary!
If you have always wanted to draw, then do what you love. But! This does not mean that you need to quit your job. You can enroll in illustration or painting courses. Try to find like-minded people in your circle, and not those who regularly criticize your hobbies. One of the highest achievements of an individual is inner satisfaction, not external status or prize.
"Victim"
This is often the name given to people who create “unbearable” conditions for their lives. They tend to complain about their husband, management, boss, relative, children, who are supposedly to blame for the fact that they live so poorly. If such a person is advised to change something in his life, he will find many excuses for not doing it. The strangest thing is that next to such people there is always someone who is ready to help selflessly. He is ready to give everything to ease the suffering of this “unfortunate.”
“Victims” are not able to enjoy little things; they tend to focus on negative aspects. Most people prefer to live by the principle “I’m good, but everyone around me is bad” or “I’m right in everything, but they don’t understand anything.”
Unfortunately, such “victims” grow up in families. And if you notice such behavior in yourself, then it’s time to take your own life into your own hands and change it for the better.
Remember that you only need to rely on yourself. No one will be involved in improving your life.
Main areas of life
To change established views, you should decide on your positions and beliefs:
- belief and spirituality;
- social status, society;
- self-development;
- family, love;
- material aspect, success;
- society and communication;
- Creative skills.
You can optionally add items to this list that you would like to make changes to. To achieve positive results, you need to work on your own views.
Don't focus on problems
The attitude towards lifestyle should always be positive. When you think too much about what you don't like, you attract even more failures into your life. For example, you don’t have enough money, you can’t lose weight. At times like these, you need to focus on success.
There is also a great way to combat negative thoughts! Imagine that a terrible event has happened in your life that you cannot change. Try asking yourself if you can survive this.
Now try to imagine something that you cannot influence. Let's say you've always wanted to be tall. Alas, this cannot be influenced. This means that you must get rid of these “intrusive” thoughts. The same goes for thoughts about missed opportunities. Remember that you live in the present and should only be interested in potential plans and achievements.
Important! You need to realize that only you control your perception of the world. You have no right to shift responsibility for your life onto other people. Sometimes, to change a situation, it is enough to look at it from a different angle.
A wise attitude towards life is based on experience. However, you have the opportunity to be inspired by the people around you. Therefore, draw motivation for yourself from the actions and achievements of others. Try to find the merits in every person. And do not forget that we cannot change the world, but we can change our attitude towards it.
Our stories decide our fate
Photo: Depositphotos
“...I had a date planned with a guy from a dating site: we agreed to have dinner at a cafe. I waited at the entrance for more than 30 minutes, but he never showed up. I was pulled into the abyss of negative thoughts: he probably saw me from afar, he didn’t like me, and he ran away...
Suddenly, an old friend from college, whom I had not seen for almost ten years, approached me. He smiled and tried to start a conversation, but the cats were scratching at my soul. I pulled myself together with difficulty.
Within a few minutes we entered the same cafe. The evening flew by unnoticed: we talked, joked, laughed. And after dinner we exchanged numbers and on Friday we will have a real date...”
Similar stories happen to many. And this is an example of how negative events only bring us closer to real opportunities.
If a girl succumbed to a bad mood, she would not have met a friend with whom she was truly interested and comfortable.
