How to think positively to change your life - techniques, personal experience and advice from psychologists

“Change your thoughts, your life will change.” That's the title of Karen Casey's book. And this is absolutely correct, what we see around us, what we pay attention to, what opportunities we open for ourselves, what we prohibit depends on our thinking. Therefore, by changing our thinking to a positive one, we change our lives.

How to change your thinking to positive? Think about the good, forget about the bad. Enjoy the little things. In short, this is it.

We get used to thinking in a certain way. Due to upbringing, our experience and other people's life examples, genetics. But the fact is that we see in life what we focus our attention on. And it’s worth changing this, and your thinking will change to positive.

How to think positively

Negative thinking prevents us from achieving our goals. Every opportunity is seen as a threat, as a harbinger of failure. Past failures haunt you; focusing on them does not allow you to move forward. Everything was bad and will be bad.

Positive thinking works the other way around. Everything that gets in the way of your goal becomes another opportunity to achieve it. If for a negatively thinking person failure is an obstacle that cannot be overcome, for a positively thinking person it is an experience from which one can and should benefit.

A simple but clear example. For one person, a hole in your favorite jeans is a reason to throw the denim in the trash. For another, it’s an opportunity to try yourself as a designer and turn old pants into a fashionable frayed model.

So, first of all, you need to think positively.

Learn to conduct internal dialogue

Tell yourself, “I can do better,” or “Next time I will do better,” or something similar. According to a recent study by Brief Online Training Enhances Competitive Performance: Findings from the BBC Lab UK Psychological Skills Intervention Study, it is an effective way to increase productivity and start putting more effort into a task.

The main thing is to believe in what you say. After all, this is not magic, but hard work on yourself.

Turn negative thoughts into neutral ones

Don't torture yourself trying to make bad things good in a second. Go for it gradually.

Realize that your negative thoughts are just thoughts.

Often our worries have no basis. Think about whether yours have a real reason.

Smile - they will smile back at you. The Power of Positive Thinking

Including life itself. The question “how to change your thinking to positive?” all doors open. You need to make up your mind and cross the threshold. It will be interesting, really. Even small first steps towards changing your thinking will lead to changes in your life and they will only be positive.

Without immediately setting large-scale goals, but keeping a guideline on them, rejoicing in even slightly noticeable victories, and going at your own pace. Be passionate about the process and appreciate it. And after a while, from an improved reality, say to yesterday’s self: “So this is how it works!”

How to stop being afraid of failure

How many cool projects died at the idea stage because of someone's fear of failure during implementation? If every inventor was afraid of making mistakes and gave up on the idea, it is unlikely that you would now be reading this article from the screen of a smartphone or laptop, driving to work by car and enjoying other benefits of civilization.

Remember: failure means you are not standing still.

Those who do nothing do not make mistakes. If you fail, this is a sure sign that you are moving towards your goal.

See failure as an experience that helps you become better.

Chances are you won't repeat the mistake again. You will discover your weak points and do things differently next time. What if it doesn’t work out again? This means you will gain experience again. And so on until you reach what you are going to.

Every failure is a valuable lesson.

Ask yourself questions:

  • What did this situation teach me?
  • How can I benefit from it?
  • What positive aspects does it have?

You will see that everything can be useful.

Don't identify failure with yourself

There is no need to think that you are a failure because you make mistakes or fail at something. You would be if you didn't learn from it and stopped out of fear that the situation would happen again.

Prepare for difficulties and decide how you will deal with them

Scientists have found out Positive fantasies about idealized futures sap energy that positive attitudes alone are not enough to cope with negativity.

Subjects were asked to imagine the next week. The first group had to think exclusively positively, and the second - as they saw fit. It turned out that people who saw a wonderful future were later less energetic and did less than others.

A balance between positive thoughts and a willingness to deal with difficulties is more effective than an optimistic attitude alone.

Focus not on the problem, but on the solution

Thinking about a problem takes up energy and time that would be better spent on solving it. Don't think about failure, try to prevent it. This will not only relieve you of unnecessary stress, but will also help you identify your weak points.

Focus on what is happening here and now

Of course, we all need to plan our lives at least a little, and therefore thinking about the future is certainly necessary, but if you focus too much on what may (or may not) happen, it will not lead you anywhere. what good. First, although you can prepare for the future and set goals that you want to someday achieve, the future is uncertain and none of us knows for sure what awaits us there. That is why negative thoughts about possible troubles and disasters not only do not help us in any way, but also drag us into an emotional abyss.

Now let's move on to the past... yes, remembering the past and reflecting on it from time to time is important in order to understand who you really are and how exactly you ended up in the situation you are in now. Truly holistic and strong individuals never forget the path that led them to the present moment... but dwelling too much on the past is pointless - if only because what happened in the past remains there, and you can’t help it change.

Instead, focus on what is happening here and now. Live your life moment by moment and day by day, do not hide from life's challenges, and realize the simple fact that what you do today and now matters much more than what you did in the past - if only because that this is what will determine your future.

How to develop a growth mindset

People with a fixed mindset force themselves into boundaries. They are sure that it is impossible to change and develop their talent, and when they encounter difficulties, they experience a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

Those with a growth mindset believe they can become better and strive to develop and learn new things. And everything they have is just a beginning, and they can achieve more. They just know how to discern an opportunity in failure and perceive it as experience that will be useful in achieving their goal.

Change your attitude towards failure

When you learn to accept failure as part of your path to success, the path to success will become easier and your chances of reaching the end will increase.

Prepare for difficulties

If earlier you walked along a straight path along a field, now you have to climb to the top of the mountain. And this is not easy.

Focus on personal growth and development

Be interested in things you don't know. Do more than before. Raise the bar, don't stop there. Stop accepting your knowledge and skills as something immutable that comes with you. Instead, imagine that you are a vessel that is only a third full and still have a lot to learn.

Be persistent and purposeful

If you give up, you will go back to square one and become a prisoner of a fixed mindset again. Think about what work has already been done.

Why is it difficult to change your thinking?

There can be quite a lot of factors for a person to not adopt positive thinking. This includes personal experience, and the experience of friends and acquaintances, and books and television, and negative stereotypes, confirmation bias and fixation on one thought.

Tendency to positive thinking, as well as depression, etc. is transmitted genetically, since the characteristics of hormone production are genetically transmitted. Therefore, many mental processes among relatives are similar. For example, relatives will have similar reactions to fear due to the fact that they secrete approximately the same amount of adrenaline. But how to act in this situation is up to the person himself. That is, either he succumbs to fear, or fights it, or does nothing and the fear will grow. In the future, the reaction to the terrible will proceed in a similar way. The reaction seems to be stored in the body’s memory. But more often than not, upbringing plays a much larger role than genes. Those. a person takes the behavior of relatives as an example.

Because it is constantly fed from the outside

Our thinking and attitude to reality is also built on external input.
Every second we perceive the surrounding reality, and it affects our emotions and thoughts. And this reality, of course, is not what we would like. And this creates a corresponding negative mood in you. You need to pay special attention to this. You must constantly remind yourself that the reality that surrounds you is one that you created long before this moment. And if you are friends with people who often express negativity, read websites that write negativity, constantly watch television, then all this affects you. And it will be difficult for you to create positive thinking and a positive attitude. Learn more about what prevents you from thinking correctly and clearly.

It's like a time machine. Now you see what you did some time ago. And what you are working on today will not materialize immediately, but after some time. Constantly remind yourself to think positively to maintain your positive attitude. And it will be much easier for your thinking to change to a positive one.

Confirmation bias

A person usually has a certain point of view about himself, the surrounding reality, and the people around him. He interprets events in accordance with his understanding, experience, upbringing and vision of the situation. And she tries to dismiss arguments that contradict her.

It is difficult for us to change our thoughts because we are biased. We like to communicate more with people who share our point of view; we like to read books, websites and magazines that support our point of view. After all, you always want to be right, don’t you? Do you want to be supported? On the one hand, this brings satisfaction and peace, on the other hand, it prevents us from developing. Do you want to change your thinking to a positive one? Make an effort on yourself and stop constantly consuming negativity.

Therefore, everything depends on you. Strive to find confirmation of your new thinking, and not cry that everything around you is bad in a circle with others like you.

Almost everyone has confirmation bias, it’s just more pronounced in some people. But in order to change your thinking to a positive one, this must be eliminated.

Because a person has stable stereotypes and social attitudes

Too generalized and distorted concepts associated with a certain group, stratum or social phenomena prevent us from living. There are stereotypes about one's group, race, gender, etc. Most often they are distorted, but passed on to us as certain postulates from our parents and teachers. Or bred by us ourselves. This is a certain algorithm by which we think. Stereotypes are not always true, or rather, they are a global generalization, too selective perception, too clear categorization, but we use them because they facilitate the thinking process. They often also prevent you from changing your thinking to a positive one.

Stereotypes make our thinking inflexible, narrow-minded, and program us to have a negative view of things. By basing thinking on stereotypes, people get used to thinking within certain frameworks. Read more about thinking patterns and stereotypes, social attitudes and prejudices


Sometimes our impressions of things and events are completely different from the impressions of other people. Why? Because each of us sees the world differently. Our vision of the world depends on our experience, especially recent or deeply affected, education, upbringing, physiological processes in the body, addictions and other characteristics. We are different, so we are interested in each other.

We see what we are accustomed to seeing, what we ourselves are accustomed to seeing, what we expect to see. And our imagination about life is limited by our experience. We pay attention to what has recently happened to us. For example, if we spilled our coffee at work, we will constantly return to this thought. Others saw and forgot, but we didn’t. This will be important for us. Therefore, our self-esteem can decrease significantly if a series of troubles happen to us. Read more about this in the article on what self-esteem depends on. Therefore, young women who have recently given birth to children see a lot of mothers with children, and those who bought a car suddenly notice a lot of cars of the same brand and color. This is called focus of attention. If you see the limitations, they will be real for you, if you don’t, they will not be real. If you are used to seeing the negative, it will be real, the positive, the positive will be real.

Try to do this trick with your friends : ask them to remember all the red things, drawings, inscriptions in the room or area where you are. Give them 3 minutes to do this. And when they remember, then ask them to remember everything that was green. The result will surprise you; they will remember almost nothing. But why? Because their focus was directed elsewhere. You can do this on yourself, choosing a color with your eyes closed, but remember that you are already a little prepared and even subconsciously will already try to remember all the colors (but you won’t be very successful either).

This is roughly how we read books, read websites, watch shows. We see what we want or expect, the rest can be completely ignored or paid little attention to. Therefore, if we expect to see something else, we will see something else, because we will pay attention to completely different things. And that’s why some see blood in the Bible, while others see love, and that’s why some see bloody dictators in communism, while others see success. And that’s why, reading a book 20 years later, we perceive it differently. Our attention is focused on things that are important to us, we have a different experience. By changing your focus, it is very easy to change your thinking.

The man is the operator behind the camera, where he pointed the camera and saw it.

How to get into an abundance mindset

People with a scarcity mindset think that there are not enough resources for everyone. Stephen Covey in his book To Be, Not to Seem makes an interesting analogy.

People with a scarcity mindset believe that there is only one pie in the world and that if someone takes a piece, they will get less. This attitude leads to a win/lose mindset: if you win, I lose, and I can't let that happen.

Stephen Covey, American business expert

People with an abundance mindset believe that there are many pies and no losers: everyone will win and get their piece (or more than one).

Think about what you have

Focus on this. Material or intangible things - it doesn't matter. You need to learn to think abundantly and be grateful for what you have.


Knowledge, for example. Or take part in a charity event. If you can share something, then you have it in abundance.

Stop Negative Thinking

Eventually, you will notice what you are going to think or say. As soon as negative thoughts become infected in your head, try to interrupt them immediately. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive one. Every time you succeed, be happy for yourself, you are moving in the right direction!

Congratulations on taking steps to turn your negative thinking into positive thinking. Be happy for yourself. Soon you will begin to notice how much nicer you are and how much better life is.

  • 10 golden rules to help you think positively

How to think proactively

Reactive thinkers are influenced by external factors. They do not play an active role in life, but simply go with the flow.

People with proactive thinking do not blame the situation or others if something goes wrong, but take responsibility for their lives. They know what they can change and what they can't, and they focus on the former.

Take action

Move from the passenger seat to the steering wheel and start taking control of your life. Instead of saying, “The weather is too bad to go for a run,” say, “It’s raining outside, but it’s dry at home. So I can do other exercises.”

The point is to stop being a hostage to situations and act regardless of what is happening around you.

Get rid of reactive thinking phrases

Forget about:

  • I can't because...
  • If I could, I would.
  • I had to…
  • This is how the circumstances developed.

And try:

  • I'll find an alternative.
  • I can do it.
  • This is my decision.
  • I want this myself.

Take responsibility for your life

Don't waste your time on trifles and don't get angry when things don't go according to plan. The bus didn't arrive on time? Go out earlier, take a book with you so as not to waste time, get your license and save up for a car, but don’t become a victim of circumstances. Let them work for you.

Nobody promised that it would be easy and fast. But who, if not you, will help you become better and achieve success?

Be more positive towards other people

Sometimes inviting positive thoughts into your own consciousness can be very, very difficult, especially in situations where you have allowed negativity to rule your inner world for a long time. But you can lure them into your life by being as positive as possible towards the people around you and cultivating positive thoughts in them. And if it seems to you that this is even more difficult, then this is absolutely not the case. Having the most positive attitude towards others does not require any incredible effort from you. To do this you just need...

  • Try to be polite to everyone you meet in your life, even if these people annoy you
  • Be an active and sincere listener in any conversation
  • When talking to other people, show your interest in them, and don't act like you can't wait for the conversation to end.

In addition, you can make additional efforts to show more empathy to the people around you, or, say, to help them in some way.

Believe me, if you make the people around you happier, it will eventually make you happier:

  • Smile or greet someone warmly, especially if they seem gloomy or depressed
  • Compliment someone about his or her appearance, abilities, or personality traits
  • Do someone a favor (small or big)
  • Say a few encouraging words to someone
  • Listen to someone who is struggling and needs to talk
  • Make a donation to a charity, whether in the form of money or items
  • Volunteer for a community organization whose causes you believe in.

What is the meaning of positive thoughts

An optimistic attitude is the path of winners. When faced with certain circumstances, we are free to choose our own reaction: to be a victim and tune in to a sad outcome, or to become a hunter, accept the challenge and see the situation in a favorable light. Which of these types of people is most likely to succeed?

A person who thinks positively creates an energy field around himself that attracts others, and knows how to gain positivity and switch to positive thoughts. Such individuals have not only charm, but also fortitude: they are focused on finding solutions, confident in themselves and know exactly what brings them pleasure and energizes them.

Happiness is not something that needs to be chased, nor is it something that comes from outside. It's a state of mind. No amount of money, loving people and achievements will make someone happy who is driven into the framework of worries, obstacles and uncertainty. To think optimistically means to look at the world based on opportunities, not obstacles.

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