6 ways to make a good impression on your interlocutor

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A confident person is perceived by others as friendly. If people feel comfortable and safe in your company, they will be more likely to talk to you. Therefore, you need to learn to send signals of friendliness and sociability.

Arthur Wassmer, author of Making Contact, came up with the acronym SOFTEN to help people remember how to send friendly signals. Agree, it’s nice to always have a simple way to cope with anxiety at hand. In this case, we use the prefrontal cortex to manage the emotional expressions of our more primitive and emotional brain. The method may seem simple, but it is based on the opposition between reason and emotions within us.

So, let's decipher the abbreviation. Let these rules help you better manage nonverbal cues.

How to make a good first impression with your appearance

How to make a good impression in dirty and unkempt clothes? The answer is clear - no way. Shoes and clothing play a big role in dating.

Clothes are your business card, an indicator of your social status, income level, and neatness. Dirty clothes, long-unwashed hair are unpleasant at the subconscious level - if a person cannot even take care of himself, then what is the deplorable state of his affairs?! Equally important is how appropriately you dress.

For example, if you are interviewing for a management position, dress appropriately. Yes, you are comfortable in shorts, flip-flops and a bright T-shirt, but does such an outfit inspire confidence in you as a person capable of leadership and decision-making? Meanwhile, as noted earlier, you will not have a second chance to make a good impression when meeting someone.

It is no coincidence that people who, on duty, are constantly in public places and speak in front of audiences, hire image makers. Experts come up with an image for them, which depends on what kind of idea needs to be conveyed to the audience. In addition, they give professional advice on how to make a good impression. This applies not only to clothes, but to the entire appearance as a whole.

Imagine that the lecturer in the audience is putting himself in order - straightening his clothes, hairstyle, rummaging in his pockets. It seems like nothing special, but it’s very difficult to make a good impression on the public this way.

In the case of accessories and jewelry, it is better to adhere to the golden rule: less is more. Accessories should not attract attention and be the main part of your image; their task is only to complement it unobtrusively. Shoes must be impeccable.

To make a good impression, use status accessories - a good bag and shoes. Sellers of fashion stores know that a buyer can be in any clothes, even sportswear, but at the same time wear expensive watches and shoes.

In order to make a good impression in any situation, adhere to several principles:

You should look neat and tidy, so make sure your things are clean and intact. In addition, clothes must be ironed as thoroughly as possible.
When opening your closet, remove clothes from the hangers that suit the occasion.
If you want to make a good impression, avoid deep necklines and necklines. Also, don't choose sheer blouses, even if you plan to throw something on top. It is possible that you will have to take off your jacket or sweater.
Underwear should not peek out from under clothing or even give a hint of its presence.
Tight-fitting clothing is inappropriate for business meetings, with the exception of a pencil skirt. Moreover, underwear should not stick out through it either.
The length of the skirt is to the knee, in no case higher.
Be sure to treat light, airy fabrics with an antistatic agent before going out and check whether the skirt flies up too high.
Sportswear and leggings are taboo.
The ideal look consists of no more than three colors, it is difficult to make a good impression if you look like a multi-colored parrot.
Shoes should suit your style and be comfortable. But no sports options, unless, of course, there is a rendezvous on the football field.

Nod (Nod)

A nod is a physical response to a statement. Light nods are calming and encouraging: they show that you are listening to your interlocutor and understand what he is talking about. If you don't express agreement with your body language, the other person will feel uncomfortable. You will look indifferent and arrogant, which, of course, will bring the conversation to naught.

Let's list the six simple rules (SOFTEN formula) again:

Smile;
Take an open posture;
Lean towards your interlocutor;
Touch your interlocutor;
Make eye contact;
Nod.

Many people have told me that these rules have helped them realize their ability to be friendly and helpful. They have learned to worry less about how others perceive them and to pay close attention to whether they are sending friendly signals. By following these rules, you:

control your unconscious behavior in order to appear friendly and sociable to others;
control yourself and purposefully send signals that attract people to you and help them trust you;
turn Them into Us.

We did a great job!

Observe the nonverbal cues of those around you to learn the ways people communicate without words. Try one of these during your next conversation. By consolidating these rules in behavioral memory, you will gradually bring them to automaticity. If you want to seem like an open person to people, remember the SOFTEN formula. If you are shy and introverted, you will like it when people start talking to you.

Find more tips to help you communicate at ease and make you a master of small talk in Talking Made Easy! Its author, Carol Fleming, is a communication skills specialist, speech therapist and speech technique coach in the past. She will tell you how to turn an empty conversation into an interesting one, talk about yourself, and also raise sociable children.

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What to Wear and Say to Make a Good Impression at an Interview

An interview is an extremely important event, so you should know how to make a good impression on the employer at the first meeting.

Start thinking about your look with clothes. The suit should emphasize that you are a business person. Moderation in hairstyle, makeup and manicure is also important.
Many are embarrassed to highlight and emphasize their strengths, and in vain - no one will do this for you. Therefore, sometimes a vacant position is filled by a person who is less competent than you, but also less shy, and who knows how to highlight his strengths and necessary qualities.
An interview is not a meeting of bosom friends after a long separation, when everyone is in a hurry to share news. Extra, irrelevant information should be avoided, as it will not help you make a good impression on the employer.
Think about what questions you might be asked and how you will answer them. There is a lot of information about this on the World Wide Web.
No matter how difficult it is, try to relax and not worry. When a person is worried, he has difficulty finding the right words and cannot collect his thoughts.

When choosing a suit to wear to an interview, pay attention not only to whether it suits the occasion, but also to how it fits you. Clothing that doesn't fit is absolutely not suitable. If the suit is a couple of sizes too big, then the employer will get the impression that it is from someone else’s shoulder, or even worse, you are sick and because of this you have lost a lot of weight. A tight suit works against you - you feel uncomfortable and squeezed. Women are advised to check in front of the mirror before the interview to see if their clothes reveal unnecessary areas of the body or if their underwear is visible through it.

The business suit rule applies even to representatives of artistic and artistic professions. It is possible that jeans and T-shirts are quite acceptable at the place of your future work, but at first it is better to maintain a business casual style. For example, MTV President Judy McGrath says: “If I remember what a person said to me after five minutes and don’t remember what he’s wearing, then he has good taste.” Meanwhile, MTV is one of the most democratic companies in terms of dress code.

An interesting fact is that tall men and women achieve promotions faster. If you are of average height, then wearing heels will help correct the situation. It goes equally well with trouser suits and skirts.

New team

If you come to a team that was formed before you, it is important to place yourself in it. And so, at work, if you are new there, you need to do the following.

Don't become isolated. There is no need to be shy: everyone once came here for the first time. Be open and friendly to people, and then the team will receive you well.
Do not rush headlong into the intricacies of the work process. Start small, with general provisions - you will always have time to learn the nuances. Nobody likes upstarts.
Be indifferent to gossip, do not participate in discussions of this kind - at least at first.
Do not discuss your bosses or employees at work under any circumstances.

Editor's choice: Where to go if you don't get paid

How to make a good impression on a girl or guy

Knowing the answer to the question of how to make a good impression on a member of the opposite sex is no less important than knowing the answer to a potential employer. Perhaps right now, somewhere nearby there is a person who will become your soulmate. So, how to make an acquaintance pleasant and smoothly turn it into a date?

Some people like it hot

Interesting results were obtained from a study conducted by employees of St. Cloud State University in Minnesota. They found that for women who ate something spicy, men's sexual attractiveness increased by 20%.

The study authors believe that this is due to the concept of embodied cognition, which is based on the complex relationship between sensory-motor experience and behavior, the emotional sphere and decision making.

How to make a good impression on your boyfriend's parents

Making a good impression on the parents of your chosen one is no less important than making a good impression on your significant other. It is likely that they are your potential relatives.

Remember - the word is silver, but silence is golden. It is better to listen to what they tell you than to speak yourself.
Some topics are better not discussed at all, for example, you shouldn’t talk about your bad habits or difficult childhood.
Smile.
Modest clothing without provocative cutouts or flashy prints will help you make a good impression.
Sincerely offer your help, for example, to clear the table or, conversely, set the table.
A small present will help make a good impression. It should be something not obnoxiously expensive - a cake, a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers for mom.

How to make a good impression on a guy, what to wear for the first meeting with his parents? It is unlikely that “war paint” and a full parade of clothes are necessary. If you prefer to be yourself, then you can create a completely suitable look in a casual style.

In this case, clothes should be chosen in gentle, natural and warm tones and shades: beige, nude, powdery, light brown, soft pink, milky and others.

Classics will always be in fashion. If you prefer a classic style, then your main task is to choose a dress that suits your figure. It can be:

sheath dress;
shift (straight cut without collar and sleeves);
shemiz (airy dress with a belt);
tunic dress;
shirt-dress;
sweater dress.

The dress should emphasize the advantages of your figure and at the same time not cause discomfort - not be too tight or tight-fitting. Give preference to natural fabrics depending on the time of year - linen, chintz, satin, wool.

In addition to dresses, blouses, trousers, shirts, and pencil skirts create a classic look. Be moderate in your choice of accessories - a couple of pieces of jewelry and a simple stylish handbag are enough to make a good impression.

Women who like to dress up will not feel too comfortable feeling “buttoned up.” If you are one of these women, then choose:

wrap dress;
A-line dress;
cocktail (suitable if the first acquaintance takes place in a restaurant or at a celebration for some reason);
painted sundress.

Follow the rule: wear only what really suits you. This can be plain clothes or things with a bright pattern, a cozy woolen dress or a flowing sundress. The look will be complemented by accessories, which include not only jewelry, but also handbags, hairpins, watches, etc.

When choosing shoes, take into account that you may have to spend some time standing and talking to your parents. Therefore, shoes should be comfortable, but at the same time not sporty. Classic pumps are always in fashion, quite modest, but elegant and feminine. And besides, they go with almost any outfit.

Loves? Does not love?

One study conducted by researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard found that women were more attracted to men whose intentions were unclear.

Surprisingly, their level of attractiveness was even higher than that of the men, who clearly showed interest in the ladies participating in the experiment. So the best way to be more attractive to a girl is to confuse her about how you feel about her.

How to make a good impression on a girl's parents

When meeting a girl's parents, a few simple tips will help you make a good impression. There is no need to demonstrate how stylish and fashionable you are; it is much better to show that you are confident, courageous, and their daughter has a stable and bright future ahead of her. It is extremely important for parents to know that they are placing their daughter in good hands. Whether you are going to get married is not important at all.

Try to avoid excessive officialdom; after all, you are going to meet people, and not to an official event “in ties.” Think about what items in your wardrobe are classics for both you and the girl’s parents. Clothes should be neat, tidy and clean.

Extremes are not allowed. For example, a T-shirt, ripped jeans and sneakers are just as inappropriate as a formal suit and tie. In the first case, you look like a frivolous rogue, in the second - like a pompous fanfare, especially if this is not your permanent image. You don’t have to wear a tie at all; if you are not used to wearing it, you will experience discomfort, distractions, and worry. And this will not help make a good impression.

A polo or long sleeve shirt, chinos, classic jeans, simple shoes or modest sneakers will look best.

Red is the color of attraction

The perception of color is very subjective. And yet there is a color that most men find very sexy. Of course, you already guessed what color we are talking about.

Red is perceived as an indicator of sexual readiness. Researchers believe this may have something to do with the female body's natural mechanisms for showing interest in a partner. For example, a woman may blush while communicating with a man she is interested in. Or during sexual caresses.

Hence the conclusion: if you want to be more attractive to men, wear red.

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Danger brings you closer

In the 1970s, social psychologists Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron studied the connection between feelings of danger and sexual desire.

The men tested had to walk on the suspended and high Capilano Bridge, or on the low and reliable one. At the end of the bridge and on the bridge itself, a psychologist's assistant approached them, asked a few questions and left her phone number “in case additional questions arise.”

It turned out that those who dared to cross the high bridge called her much more often than the men who walked along the low bridge. The researchers linked this to "arousal attribution error." That is, the feeling of danger led to the appearance of excitement. However, men mistook it for sexual attraction.

So if you want to have an unforgettable date, take her or him on one of the scariest rides in the world. At the same time, check whether you and your counterpart have nerves of steel.

Probing the soil

Let's return to the kings. It's no secret that the most successful monarchs were also strategists. None of them sent their army to foreign lands to conquer them without reconnaissance. Why are we worse than kings?

It definitely wouldn’t hurt to make inquiries about the location and participants of the upcoming meeting.

For example, an interview. History of the company, specifics of activity, top officials. All this information will help avoid stalemate situations. Job seekers like to ask the question: “What do you already know about our company?” An awkward silence or a vague answer will significantly damage the opinion of the applicant. While awareness will clearly play into your hands.

Or meeting the family of your future husband. You should know the full names in advance. So as not to confuse anything out of excitement. Food preferences.

It would be inappropriate to bring meatloaf to the table in a vegetarian family.

Nonverbal signs

Squashed shoulders, open eyes, absence of sudden movements - all this characterizes a confident person. Creates a pleasant impression.

In order to continue to create a good impression, you should adhere to the following recommendations.

Speech must be articulate. No need to chatter. The voice is calm but cheerful. Under no circumstances should you interrupt! Firstly, it is uncivilized. Secondly, it's annoying.
Avoid closed poses. Cross your arms in front of your chest, clasp your fingers. These gestures indicate the interlocutor's uncertainty or reluctance to engage in dialogue. Both form a negative perception of a person.
Maintain eye contact. An open look into the eyes of the interlocutor indicates interest.
Keep your distance. Do not forget about the personal space of the interlocutor. But we don’t try to move away to the opposite corner of the room.

Read more about nonverbal signs >>>

Internal mood

In most cases, the success of any event depends on the internal mood. Programming yourself for one outcome or another can have a serious impact on the development of the situation scenario.

Therefore, in order to leave a good impression of yourself, you must initially tune in to the positive.

In addition, it is happy people who look more attractive and arouse more interest. Who wants to delve into other people’s problems and feel the negativity at their first meeting?

To stimulate a great mood, you can and should:

“Share your smile and it will come back to you more than once!” Simple words from a well-known children's song are an absolutely working scheme for raising your spirits. Before leaving the house you need to smile at your reflection in the mirror. The brain and body always work in tandem. A smile is transmitted by the brain as a signal that a person is happy. Next, biochemical processes are launched that stimulate the production of endorphins. Which, in turn, are responsible for mood. The higher the level of endorphins, the better your mood. This scheme was confirmed by a number of studies back in the eighties. As is the other side. The more people frown, the more unhappy they feel. Thus, no matter what mood you feel before the meeting, you need to smile. Even through force. And then our smart body will help us feel joy.
Listen to invigorating music. Before you leave the house, you need to get yourself in order. This is the best time to listen to energetic music. Create your own unique playlist. Add compositions to it that make you dance and sing along. Listen to a few songs while getting ready. This always helps relieve stress, lift your spirits and cheer you up.
What kind of attitude can there be without affirmations? To correctly formulate motivational slogans:

imagine the desired outcome of the upcoming meeting.
formulate sentences describing your own feelings if the event you attended had a favorable outcome.

Say the resulting affirmations out loud. For example, there is an interview coming up. First, let's imagine that it was successful. Secondly, imagine the feeling of happiness. We receive the affirmation: “I am happy about the successful interview!” We try to sincerely believe in what we say.

A positive attitude, a charge of positive energy, a disarming smile - these are quite significant trump cards up your sleeves. But sometimes just one bad card can ruin the entire course of the game.

And now we’re not just talking about cards. It happens that just one extra item of clothing or an inappropriate statement can erase an already formed good impression of a person. Let's figure out what makes up the impression of a person in general.

Punctuality

Back in the seventeenth century, Louis XIV said: “ Accuracy is the courtesy of kings and the duty of all good people!” “In fact, this statement formed the basis for the rapid development of etiquette in Europe.

To this day, time is considered the most valuable resource. Therefore, you should plan your day and upcoming routes in advance in order to get everything done on time.