As a child, life is carefree and fun, but every year we have more and more responsibilities. We need a lot of things - study, work, pay rent, raise children, help parents, and so on. But we also need something else. Remember your own dreams. Without them, your life will never be complete. El Luna, in her book “Between I Need and I Want,” shares how to find your path, discover your talents and live brightly.
Article on the topic: Passionate about life. What hobbies will delay old age?
Understand the meaning of the word.
“It is necessary” to live life to the fullest - to be able to find what takes away the long-awaited freedom. In a crowd of passersby, you can’t help but notice how people look like slaves of their own fate. They sullenly go about their business, repeating the same thing for years, although inside there is a struggle with circumstances.
People are imprisoned by created ideas that come from the mind. Society can trap an individual in rigid frameworks that erase his or her individuality. “You need it” - this is what those around us tell us, generally accepted standards, and finally, ourselves! How to appreciate the world around us and preserve its integrity in our consciousness? All you have to do is make a list of “I need” items. The more results, the better the analysis of the person. Many items are simply imposed by time and should be gotten rid of. It is commands that are meaningless that make a person withdraw into himself and lose his taste for life.
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Laugh more
Laughter can truly heal the soul. If you don't have a reason to laugh, arrange meetings with friends and discuss some funny things that happened in the past, watch a funny movie or videos and pictures with cats. Allow yourself to be happy. The more you laugh and smile, the more happiness you will attract into your life.
If you grump all the time, you will make other people grumpy and create a cycle of negative emotions. Instead, smile, laugh sincerely and enjoy life.
Determine your true desires.
Any action is supported by the golden rule - “I want.” Even if this is an unloved job, the person consciously makes himself unhappy and is content with reality. “I want” - from such a feeling the desire to act on the path to freedom is created. It is important to start a conversation with yourself using the one-on-one conversation technique. To do this, you need to imagine that the second interlocutor is yourself! The idea may seem stupid at first, but it really works.
In one place there is a list of all the internal “I want”. On the part of the second interlocutor - criticism of all the “I want” on behalf of the “need”. Next, continue the discussion in the first place in order to discard the unnecessary “needs” and “wants”. This technique allows you to experience calm and reduce internal stress.
Set precise goals
Goals like “earn more money” or “start a family” have no value. You must set yourself achievable and precise goals that you can accurately track. For example, earn 15 percent more this year than last, save a certain amount next month, completely give up sweets for 30 days. You will be able to determine when you have achieved your goal. And by doing this, you will receive a boost of motivation that will help you move on.
Working on fears means working on yourself.
Dealing with fears is the main task when it comes to development. What happens when a person decides to move to another city? The brain and nervous system raise the alarm, the world becomes darker. Two modes are at work here - rebellion against one’s reluctance or complete submission to old standards.
Nature has determined man to defend his usual place. After a long period of “stagnation,” it can be difficult to get back on your feet and dare to move forward. Talking to yourself about what is preventing you from moving forward is the first step towards dealing with fears. “If you are afraid of wolves, do not go into the forest,” the statement reveals the influence of fears on the state of the individual.
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So, the best self-development authors will help you learn to live life to the fullest, no matter what.
Valerio Albisetti is a Swiss psychologist.
I recommend reading his book “Laughing with the Heart. A simple method of gaining mental clarity,” which will introduce you to a fundamentally new approach to changing the quality of life.
By following the simple advice given in the book, you will reconfigure your consciousness and learn to appreciate every little thing. Respect not only the people around you, but first of all yourself. You will understand how not to give in to difficulties, disappointments and suffering, and stop feeling afraid of various moments and situations.
Three important ideas in the book resonated with me:
- Man needs suffering. It is important to learn to perceive them not as a tragedy and “the end of the world,” but as a lesson. A step in spiritual development. Sad things are initially outside of us, and there is no need to let them in. Stay calm no matter what happens.
- Having learned to laugh with your heart, you will no longer plan anything or program yourself for anything . You simply won't need it. After all, you will learn that there is always a way out. You just need to think, or try options, or wait.
- Be honest with yourself and others. Don't try to look unhappy. And don't rush to the aid of those who look like they are.
In fact, there are many more useful thoughts in the book. In addition, the author gives practical exercises that allow you to gain a clear view of the world, life, and yourself.
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Don't forget about your favorite activities.
Everyone has an inner calling that they may not yet know about. To find yourself, you don’t have to quit your job and go to the mountains. Finding a craft that brings you pleasure is a strategy on the path to complete freedom. There is no mood to devote even a minute to some things, but some can be done from morning to night, on weekends with a surge of energy.
Many great people skillfully combined their main employment with what they loved. A writer could sell cars on his free days, and a composer could start a small business. It is important to spend your free time wisely, paying attention to the things you love. Not putting money above all else, but developing internally is a skill worth learning!
Make time for your calling
Just because you want to find your passion doesn't mean you have to quit your job. If you get paid to do what you love, you're lucky. But if this is not the case, find time to do what you love in the evenings or on weekends. Or change jobs.
The writer Thomas Eliot worked part-time in a bank. Another writer, Kurt Vonnegut , sold cars. One of the greatest composers of our time, Philip Glass began to earn money from his calling only at the age of 41. His works premiered at the Metropolitan Opera, but he continued to work as a plumber and, just in case, renewed his taxi driving license.
But you definitely don't want to stay in a job that was originally designed to pay the bills if it suddenly leaves you with too little time to do what you love and too tired to do what you came into this world to do. And if for some terrible reason you forget that money is just a game, a fantasy invented by people, you can again find yourself in the complex and multi-layered world of attitudes. And then it is not money that is lost. It's yourself that's at stake. Is it worth it?
An excerpt from the book “Between I Need and I Want” provided by the publishing house Mann, Ivanov and Ferber
Learn to enjoy the process.
The main thing is not the finale, but the process itself on the way to the finale. It is not always worth focusing on results. Then life loses its integrity and is viewed superficially. Life from bonus to bonus, from buying a gift for your wife to a gift for your children for the New Year - this situation does not make the picture of the world holistic.
People pay attention to exciting processes, because they make life feel full! Do you want to lose weight, but don’t enjoy regular workouts? You need to find the meaning in sports, and not its benefits in losing extra pounds. What is a burden and not a joy cannot last long.
Learn something new every month
Each month, choose one new activity: learn to swim or do origami, do a headstand or do an interval running program, paint, or visit every museum in town. At first these activities may seem unrelated to each other, but over time your interests will intermingle and enrich each other because they have one common element - you.
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How rich is our life?
By trying something new, you explore yourself, your dreams. Your life is enriched with new impressions, people, experiences.
Time planning
All you need to do is manage your time correctly. Many people want to do nothing, but at the same time have everything completed on time. It doesn't happen that way. Just like it is impossible to complete a difficult task quickly. Therefore, in order to manage everything, a person is required to properly plan his working day.
There is something called time management. This is the theory of time planning. It helps very well to think through all the upcoming tasks, as well as to complete them as quickly as possible. At first you will have to be persistent and make an effort. Especially if initially the person did not like to work too much. Over time, using time management techniques will become much easier.
A fulfilling life starts from within
Many people who strive to live more fulfilling lives look outside themselves for possible answers. However, most completely ignore the fact that nothing on the outside can truly satisfy you unless you are happy on the inside. So instead of looking within for answers, we explore one external source of happiness after another. And while many of these external sources keep us entertained for a while, none of them can truly keep us satisfied for a longer period of time. Nothing from the outside world can truly fill our hearts and minds. Until we realize that the journey to a fulfilled life begins from within.
Once we can find happiness from within, it helps us to know what fulfills our lives. If you can bring out the happiness within you, you are more likely to discover what makes your life truly worth living.
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Add joy to other people's lives
Naturally, we try to achieve satisfaction by adding joy and happiness to our own lives. As a result, we neglect the powerful impact that helping others can have on our lives. Helping others can make you happy. This will improve your psychological well-being and overall life satisfaction.
Many people feel like they are missing out on opportunities by helping others. They believe that helping other people is a waste of time. But at the same time, these people have never experienced how wonderful it is to see other people's striving. It's amazing to see others succeed because you helped them get back on their feet when they needed you most. There is no risk in helping other people, but it can bring heartfelt satisfaction.
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My dear readers, I want to introduce myself to you, I, Fotinia Linova, am an active elderly pensioner, clutching with both hands a healthy and interesting life, so as not to drag out the miserable existence of a lonely old woman.
She graduated from the Pedagogical School, preschool department and Omsk Aviation College named after. NOT. Zhukovsky.
Widow. Son Semyon lives in India. I have no grandchildren.
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Money, power and lust don't correlate with great achievement
The desire for more money and power is insatiable. For this reason, the endless path of acquiring material possessions does not contribute to a feeling of satisfaction. Quite the opposite. A burning desire can end up hurting you.
Grant's research confirms this, showing that neither money nor power is associated with higher levels of happiness and satisfaction. While it's certainly true that career success is important to your sense of fulfillment, it's just one part of something much larger. In fact, when viewed in the context of life experience, money and power become less important.
It may be true that these two aspects are very important to us when we are younger. But looking at the importance of money and power at the end of life, one can understand that these two factors did not make a significant contribution to their realization.
