Unfortunately, most people are susceptible to self-doubt and doubt to one degree or another. Even the most confident of us periodically feel a loss of direction in life and powerlessness in the face of emerging circumstances. It's normal to feel confused during a life crisis. But if a feeling of insecurity becomes a constant companion of a person, then this is already a problem that needs to be given close attention.
Say stop to negative thoughts
Often, self-confidence is lost due to people's inability to control their thinking. Negative thoughts arise automatically, without any effort on the part of the person. Positive thinking, on the contrary, often requires deep work on oneself. The simplest thing you can do in moments of anxiety and doubt is to ask yourself the question: “What am I thinking about now?” You will be surprised to discover how far you have sunk into thoughts about something bad.
To overcome fear and uncertainty, learn to mentally stop and observe everything that happens from the outside. Imagine sitting on the bank of a river and watching its flow. The flowing stream of water in the example reflects the thought process well. You can imagine flying birds or clouds in the sky. Calmly watch them without trying to stop them. Soon you will notice that all the negativity has passed, and it has been replaced by calmness and tranquility.
Nature of the concept
Where does self-doubt come from? From early childhood, the child initiates himself, his environment and the behavior of adults. The baby develops a perception of reality. From childhood, moral principles and normal reactions to difficulties that arise are laid down. Uncertainty and fear are problems that follow a person for decades. For an adult, it is difficult to recognize incorrect attitudes: she accepts the symptoms of fear as part of her own character or habitual behavior.
Who is at risk from uncertainty?
- people of low social status;
- children who have experienced terrible psychological trauma;
- dependent people who are not used to taking responsibility;
- victims of an accident (with feelings of guilt, injury or psychological problems);
- people with personality disorders.
A self-confident person does not allow the external environment to dictate conditions: if difficulties arise, he takes responsibility. A person with low self-esteem accepts difficulties as punishment, as the only available option for the development of events, and does not try to improve his own life. The more incorrect attitudes, the lower self-confidence.
It is more difficult to overcome fear for children who have experienced violence: physical punishment instills in the child the feeling that he is wrong, and that everything he does is unworthy. Uncertainty and fear take root in the subconscious of the individual. She does not believe in herself and does not even realize the destructive influence of wrong attitudes and beliefs.
Internal struggle
Self-identification is the search for your place in life. A person looks for something he likes, chooses a profession, hobbies, and social circle. Each choice is determined by the worldview that was raised by parents and formed in childhood. Negative moments and difficulties help build character and resilience. Internal struggle, as a factor that develops insecurity, arises in cases where a person does not know his own desires.
Personal self-identification
He is confused, depressed and apathetic. In society, such people are called pessimists; they see the negative in everything and are always ready for the worst development of the situation. Their relationships do not work out either at work or at home. And only alone with his own thoughts does a person feel confident.
She likes self-flagellation, she enjoys internal struggle as the only significant moment in her life. Doubts are an integral part of such a person; they find nourishment every day in the unfriendly world around them.
A person lives in a vicious circle: uncertainty generates negative thinking, and bad thoughts create confirmation of incorrect attitudes.
Remember that there is no right or wrong decision
Research by neuroscientists has revealed that the brain is designed for constant analysis and criticism of everything that happens. This helps a person weigh the pros and cons and make smart decisions. After completed actions, the brain automatically continues to analyze what has already happened. As a result, doubts arise, negative thoughts and anxiety appear.
To develop self-confidence, you need to understand in a timely manner that it is pointless to criticize yourself for the past. No people are perfect, no one is immune from mistakes. To think even deeper, there are no right or wrong actions. You need to realize that you did the best you could at a particular moment in time. This attitude removes many stereotypes and problems associated with them.
Factors that make you lazy
The fear of making a mistake when making a decision subconsciously causes a desire to delay the moment of resolution. In such a situation, it is important to understand the nature of fear, weigh all the pros and cons when making a decision, and do not be afraid to take a step forward. From constant overload, the body can simply exhaust its physical and psychological resources. Laziness will serve as a defense mechanism and will prevent physical or psychological breakdown. Lack of inspiration or a subconscious awareness that this is not your dream job leads to the desire to do as little as possible in this matter. A possible solution would be to change jobs. Sometimes the subconscious, analyzing information, finds solutions to optimize some process. Trying to convey this information can lead to laziness. So the subconscious mind is trying to say “there is an easier way to complete this task, just stop and think.” It’s worth thinking about whether optimizing this process will be your success.
Stop doubting and worrying
Constantly thinking about the past or future rarely brings positive results, but rather generates unnecessary worries. Often you worry about things that will never happen. This develops insecurity and prevents you from living fully here and now.
Analyzing the situation is useful if you can fix something. But sometimes circumstances develop against a person’s will. You should accept what happened and stop worrying. It is much more effective to think about what you can do right now to become better and get rid of fears.
Talk to a friend or loved one
A confidential conversation with a friend or long-time friend will help in cases where you are not able to figure out the problem on your own. If you are left alone with yourself in a crisis situation, your thoughts will very quickly take on a negative connotation, and you will be overcome by fear of the future.
A frank conversation with a friend or relative will help overcome self-doubt and get rid of isolation. When you begin to openly share your thoughts, you will soon realize that the problem is far-fetched, the reality is not as terrible as it seems. In addition, words of approval and compliments from loved ones increase confidence.
Write down your thoughts on paper
Not all people have the opportunity to talk to someone about their problems. In this case, you can express thoughts and emotions on paper. Keep a diary, write down everything you feel and worry about. It is advisable to do this daily to develop a habit. In free form, it is recommended to list gratitude for what you already have, write down goals and obstacles that you have to face.
This method will help you clear your mind, establish a connection with yourself, and become aware of your own reactions to current events. By expressing your thoughts on paper every day, you will not allow them to “stagnate” in your consciousness and will not allow them to turn into negative ones. In addition, the diary will help you record and accept different emotional states and restore harmony with the world around you.
Don't compare yourself to others
You can begin to doubt your own abilities if you constantly see the success of other people. An insecure person often looks at other people's profiles on social networks. It is worth understanding that photographs do not fully reflect people's real lives. Even long-legged beauties face problems and crises, but carefully hide them behind glossy pictures.
Instead of wasting time looking at profiles on Facebook or VKontakte, pay attention to yourself, realize your own uniqueness and value. Remember your achievements, start sharing your successes with people around you, without expecting evaluations or approval from them. Over time, you will begin to notice that doubts and fear go away, and they are replaced by confidence and courage.
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Don't take criticism and comments to heart
Think about how often you feel like a victim, how much you allow other people to influence your life. In a conversation, you may feel that you are being attacked, but in reality the interlocutor is only expressing his opinion. This point of view is a reflection of his own world and nothing more. Realize that the criticizing person is always talking not about you, but about his attitude towards your actions.
How to overcome fear and self-doubt at work?
A new unfamiliar thing is always scary. Thoughts arise that you won’t cope, and everyone will understand how stupid you really are. Remember that everything you know how to do well now, you also learned once. Read motivational literature, study biographies of people who were able to overcome difficulties on the path to success.
Often in work, people do not see the difference between accepting responsibility and self-blame. The first one motivates, the second one deprives one of strength. As soon as you notice that you are berating yourself, stop. Remind yourself that self-flagellation is not good for you or the cause.
If you're nervous during a business meeting or in your boss's office, influence your emotions through your body: straighten your shoulders, lift your chin, keep your back straight. This will not only create a state of inner confidence, but will also make the right impression on the interlocutor.
Change your mindset to a positive one
Uncertainty and fear of doing something wrong poison life. It is important to understand that these negative feelings begin with thoughts. The perception of the surrounding reality depends on how and what you think about. Therefore, to make yourself better, try to control your thoughts, suppress anxiety with an effort of will, and do not let doubts overcome you.
While clearing your mind of negativity, at the same time form positive thinking. Doing yoga or doing something you love, receiving gratitude, and physical activity increase dopamine production. This substance increases the level of internal motivation. You will be able to better control your thoughts and overcome many fears.
Following the recommendations of psychologists will increase self-esteem and help overcome indecision and fear of communicating with people:
- Read motivational articles and books. Recommended reading: “The Luck Factor” by Richard Wiseman, “A Practical Course in Happiness” by John Kehoe, “Change Your Thinking and You’ll Change Your Life” by Brian Tracy, “Hero” by Rhonda Byrne.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Surround yourself with optimistic people.
- Every time before you go to bed, write down three positive things that happened during the day.
Increased self-esteem
If you managed to overcome uncertainty, you need to pay attention to self-esteem - the image that people around you see. To form it, one should not be afraid of new experiences: a person searches for himself, and his searches are always noble. If you overcome fear and complexes, but do not engage in further development, the time and energy spent will be in vain.
Auto-training for self-confidence
Auto-training helps increase self-esteem. For homework, you will need to write down all the qualities that a person has or wants to have. The list will allow you to concentrate on the positive features. Every day a person repeats the qualities from the list and believes that he will achieve his goals.
To increase self-esteem, it is necessary to develop internal abilities. Creativity is like the energy that a person passes through himself. This energy fills him, calms him, and allows him to feel the right detachment from society. Psychologists say: “they have become more confident, they have become happier,” people with complexes do not allow themselves to find happiness.
