Every day life forces a person to make choices. It’s easy to determine everyday problems, but there are events that have an impact on the future. At such moments, it is difficult to make a decision if in doubt. With an acute lack of data, people begin to actively seek outside opinions, this is not bad, but unconfirmed information reduces the effectiveness of the actions taken.
There are two ways to make a choice: logical thinking and intuitive choice. Each individual has their own method, but the ability to combine them is considered ideal. Don't forget about character traits.
Method 1 – Avoid “narrow frames”
We often fall into the trap of “narrow frames,” when our thinking reduces the entire variety of possible solutions to a problem into only two options: “yes or no,” “to be or not to be.” “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” “Should I go to the party or stay home?”
When we choose only between “Yes or No,” in fact, we are stuck with only one alternative (eg, breaking up with our husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try to improve relationships, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.
If you decide not to buy an expensive car on credit, that doesn't mean your only remaining alternative will be tedious subway rides. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But perhaps the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent housing closer to work. Or change your job to one less distant from home.
An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a kennel and choose the stray pet that you like best.
This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, but yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a “Yes” or “No” dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this because it is much easier to view the problem only in black and white, rather than in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.
We also often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be realized simultaneously and, in fact, it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.
This difficulty may occur in choosing one's calling. For some reason, we believe that we must choose one thing, for example, to become a manager or a doctor, and this will be our only occupation for the rest of our lives. This seems like a death sentence to us, which is why it is so difficult for us to make this decision. But our calling should not be limited to the choice of profession! I discussed this issue in more detail in the article on how to find your calling.
Method 3 - better 1 time on time than 2 times correctly
There was one case in our practice. Two partners decided to open an online sporting goods store. Everything went as usual: the guys made a website using the Insales builder, found suppliers of goods and rented an office. All that's left to do is to develop a corporate identity and logo for the company. We could have not bothered and done everything in the site settings, but these are not our heroes.
It was decided to find a designer and order a layout from him. We spent a month looking for someone suitable: the budget was limited and no one wanted to do the work for 3 kopecks. As a result of the search, a familiar freelancer was found who, out of friendship, agreed to develop the design almost free of charge. It would seem beautiful. But it only seemed so.
Nobody wants to work when they live well, and the designer didn’t want to start working - he was busy with other orders. Another month has passed. The online store has not yet been launched, losses are already occurring: rent for the office, online cash register and all that. When the designer finally did the work, the guys didn’t like it. They forced me to redo it, and that's another month of waiting. As a result, they lost so much money that it was possible to hire a specialist under a contract and pay for his work. Or make the design yourself for the first time. And then, slowly, work on your corporate style.
Method 2 – Expand your selection
This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us are familiar with situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, buying an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by its appearance, and the realtor offers “favorable” terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are no longer thinking about “which apartment to choose,” but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy.”
Do not hurry. It's better to look at five apartments instead of purchasing the first one you come across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better proposals. Secondly, the time you spend examining the remaining offers will “cool down” your immediate emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious shortcomings of the apartments you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.
We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this creates strong inertia in decision making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you have wanted to enter a certain university since school. A few years later you failed the entrance exams. And now you’re thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You reject all your friends’ arguments in favor of choosing another university, because you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.
But what if in the few years it took you to graduate, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Don't get too attached to your choice and do some comparative analysis. Expand your choice! Check out the curriculum and faculty at other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?
The auxiliary method of “disappearance of options” will help you become less attached to one alternative.
Practical advice
Regardless of age and social status, people find themselves in difficult situations, the way out of which depends on making a decision. The rules and strategies for forming choices have been perfected over the centuries, and familiarity with them will probably not be a revelation, but it may be useful in emergency circumstances.
A set of recommendations for the right decision:
- Possession of information expands the possibilities of choice. What is needed are facts, clear data without emotions or embellishment.
- There is a lot of unnecessary information in the flow of information; such elements are eliminated. Anything that is not confirmed by a reliable source is thrown aside, leaving the essence.
- Concentrating on the point of difficulty helps you find a way out. It is important to remain calm.
- Using the experience and knowledge of previous generations should not be ignored. Sometimes, by listening to what your loved ones say, you can get a ready-made solution and apply it to the situation.
- Changing circumstances are confusing. In such cases, they show flexibility, varying the possibilities for solving the problem.
- A sober assessment of the current situation helps to resolve it faster. Emotions should not be allowed, even when it comes to personality.
- Once you have made a decision, you must remain consistent and act as intended. A clearly formed strategy maintains order and balance in thoughts and feelings.
Psychologists give advice that can simplify the choice and help you understand yourself. But the main aspect of easy decision making is the absence of fear. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Even the right actions sometimes lead to unexpected and not always pleasant consequences.
There is always a risk of making mistakes - this is a useful experience that cannot be avoided. Don't be upset, no matter what the result is.
Method 3 – Get as much information as possible
The authors, Chip and Dean Heath, are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronic equipment, booking hotels or choosing hair salons. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to obtain a lot of valuable information.
Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information that HR and your future boss provide you.
The Heath brothers suggest asking one interview question to do this.
“Who worked in this position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?
There is nothing wrong with trying to get information first hand. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that despite the obvious benefits of this approach, it had never occurred to me to use it during my job search!
You may not always be given contact information for these people. In this case, the practice of leading questions will help you obtain information.
This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.
During the interview:
Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised bright prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:
“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?" Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about future work.
In the shop:
One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked, “Tell me something about this model of iPod,” only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What problems does he have?” 90% of all managers were honest about the shortcomings of this model.
Correct goal setting
In order to focus on your goal and make decisions correctly, you need to create and develop a plan in advance to achieve it. An excellent option and exercise for achieving your goals is the SMART technology. This way your thoughts will be organized faster and you will be able to make the right decision. Try to be more specific and describe everything as clearly as possible. Thus, a clear goal setting and a structured plan will help you quickly make a life-changing decision.
Method 4 – Get rid of momentary emotions
As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They cause you to lose sight of something important and focus on little things that later turn out to be insignificant.
Many of us are faced with the painful results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by emotions and did not see the full picture.
This may concern a quick marriage or impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.
The first way to get rid of emotions is 10/10/10
This method allows you to move beyond the narrow perspective that momentary impulses establish. It consists of asking yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
- And in 10 months?
- What will happen in 10 years?
For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think about it 10 minutes from now? The euphoria of love and new life will probably rage within you! Of course, you won't regret your decision.
But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (this always happens, love cannot last forever) and perhaps, when the veil of euphoria that has obscured your vision disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of losing something dear will begin to appear. You may discover that what you used to take for granted was actually an advantage of your previous relationship. And this is no longer the case in your new relationship.
It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the heat of love has passed, you will realize that you have come to the same thing from which you were running.
Of course, I'm not saying that this will happen for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that many divorces occur impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it’s better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the obsession of euphoria in anticipation of change.
The second way to get rid of emotions is to breathe.
Before making any important choice, give yourself a short time out. Take 10 calm, full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts inhale – 6 slow counts exhale. And so 10 cycles.
This will calm you down and cool down your ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?
This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.
The third way to get rid of emotions is “Ideal Me”
I came up with this method when I couldn’t make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article “how to move from thoughts to action”). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what the ideal scenario would be like given the existing limitations. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay home with your wife and children. Many factors will compete with each other in making a decision: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.
What to do? Think about what would be the ideal option. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally you would like to split into two, so that one part of you stays at home, and the other part is having a blast at the party, while alcohol would not cause any harm to it and a hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the given restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home because last week you promised yourself to drink less often. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party, you'll feel better the next day.
You don't have to think about what you want more. Because just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one thing. But tomorrow you may regret that you indulged your instant desire. Think about which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?
The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?
Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, afraid of being disappointed, don’t want to let your colleagues down, and worry about what your boss will think of you when you leave. Because of this, you just can’t decide to do it.
But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What advice would you give him? Surely, if he shared with you his concerns about disappointments and the boss’s opinion, you would answer him: “Stop thinking about all this nonsense! Do what's best for you."
Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends on how to solve certain situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we look only at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up to which we attach exaggerated importance. So, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what you would advise your friend if he found himself in a similar situation.
The fifth way to get rid of emotions is just wait.
Remember, a quick decision is often a bad decision because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to simply wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed like a basic necessity a couple of hours ago, you actually don’t need.
Personally, I like to let some decision “mature” in my head, give it time, provided that I am in no hurry. This doesn't mean I think about him all the time. I can be busy doing something, and suddenly a decision appears on its own. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.
Over the course of a few days, details may pop up in my head that could change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now will I be sure of it.
The sixth way to get rid of emotions is to stay focused.
This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, during an interview.
As a poker fan, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to immediate emotions. Poker is fundamentally a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far from the game between hands, I make irrational and emotional actions when it is my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching my opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.
Therefore, during an interview, for example, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Don’t let extraneous thoughts enter your head, like: “What did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here now. This will help you make the right choice.
Important!
Getting rid of immediate emotions does not mean getting rid of all emotions before making a decision. After all, it is your basic desires, emotions, values that determine your decisions. Our desires for happiness, material well-being, spiritual and personal growth, which determine our choices, are emotions. But, at the same time, momentary feelings such as excitement, worry, stress can interfere with this decision.
Method 5 – Know your basic priorities
Always stick to your core goals and desires. After all, often difficulties when making decisions are caused by the fact that you begin to take into account values that do not meet your basic priorities, and because of this you cannot decide on anything.
For example, you are choosing between a highly paid, but stressful job that involves working at odd hours, and a less highly paid (not much) but more comfortable and less labor-intensive position.
What should you choose: money or time and convenience? Instead of comparing two different jobs and agonizing over difficult choices, think about what you are working for? What is your life purpose?
Maybe it’s not money at all, but family comfort, happiness, stability, health, raising children, etc. If you understand that these things are your goals, and not money at all, which can only serve as an auxiliary means to achieve the above goals, then you will realize what you really need. You need something that will allow you to be with your family, build your happiness and the happiness of your loved ones, take care of your health, and not sit in the office at night, even if it brings in a lot of money.
In the pursuit of money, people often forget why they actually earn it and get carried away by running away from the illusion of “money for the sake of money.” Because of this, internal conflicts and contradictions may appear. To avoid this, constantly remind yourself what your core values are. And don't let side goals become your main priorities.
This will help not only in choosing a career, but will also move the needle on disagreements in the development of some business projects. If people are clear about the original goals of the project, it will be easier for them to come together and come to a common decision.
I also turn to basic priorities in my life. I've been having trouble making some decisions lately. And then I tried to understand what my main goal was. My main goal is to help people and develop their projects. Accordingly, everything that interferes with these goals should be considered with low priority, and everything that contributes to the achievement of these goals should be considered with high priority. This is obvious, but before I imagined this goal, I first misinterpreted the secondary goals as the main ones. But seeing my main goal made my decision-making much easier.
Method 6 – Create space for simple solutions
I wrote above how important it is to expand the choice: instead of one or two apartments, look at five. But this method has its limitations. Firstly, too many similar options to choose from does not simplify the decision, that is, if you look at 20 apartments, it may take up your time, but it will not lead to the optimal solution, because there will be too many options. Secondly, an increase in the number of these options contributes to the growth of the variables on the basis of which the choice is made. And the more variables involved in a decision, the more difficult it is to make.
Poker textbooks say: “Create space for simple decisions, from the first actions in the game, try not to force yourself to make difficult decisions.”
How can this principle be applied in life? Very simple. I'll tell you about my experience. When I was looking for a job, I attended many interviews and responded to every invitation. And subsequently this made me agonize over the choice. Why? Because the number of choice variables was too large.
I could receive a job offer in some office where the salary was reasonable, but at the same time, the office was very far away and there could be delays at work. On the other hand, there were some prospects for growth, but it’s true that the future boss did not make a good impression. But the company is a market leader! However, lately things have been getting worse for her...
See how many variables there are! The choice is very difficult to accept.
Therefore, here you need to use the element of identifying basic priorities, decide what is most important to you and sweep aside everything that is not essential in advance. I thought that I needed to somehow make it easier for myself to choose a job.
And I decided that under no circumstances would I work overtime. Therefore, before accepting an invitation for an interview, I found out over the phone whether there would be overtime or not. I also told myself that I would not apply for an office if it was located further than a certain metro station (with the exception of certain conditions). And I also promised myself that no matter how bright the prospects for growth in the future were promised to me, I would not settle for a low salary.
Therefore, from that moment on, I began to accept invitations from companies that met my conditions and did not waste time on the rest. Firstly, I saved a lot of time traveling to interviews. Secondly, I simplified my choice: now I could remove such variables as “need for overtime” or “office location” from the analysis of proposals, since the decision about whether the job met these criteria was made in advance. Moreover, the number of options has decreased, but now these were good options. In the end, I actually managed to find a job with a reasonable salary, close to home.
Internal doubts
Sometimes internal doubts prevent you from making independent decisions, especially if the choice has to be made under the influence of other people or circumstances. It is very important that your decision matures internally, that you suffer through it and choose it from many other options. If the decision was made in a hurry and did not go through your deep awareness of the problem, then most often it is wrong and will always drag behind it a trail of doubts and uncertainty about the correctness of the chosen path. And any doubt gives rise to confusion and an unconscious desire for the right choice. Therefore, to avoid internal confusion, try to find time to think.
Method 7 – Try it first!
Are you wondering whether you should choose a profession or not? Instead, you should get a job in this profession and see through experience how suitable it is for you. I understand that it is not always easy to do this before entering a university. But often the division into specializations at universities takes place in the last years. And until this time, you have the opportunity to undergo an internship in some specialties at real enterprises, which will greatly facilitate your choice.
Don’t think and choose, but try! If there is an opportunity to actually implement a “pilot” version of the solution, then do not neglect this opportunity. Authors Chip and Dan Heath ask, “Why predict when you can know?”
If you want to move to another country for a long time, then it is better to go there for at least a month first and try to live there in the same conditions in which immigrants live.
If you can't choose between two car brands, take it for a test drive!
The book Thinking Traps provides interesting research that shows that job interviews are the most inaccurate predictors of whether an employee will be a good fit for a job or not. A trial period of several weeks can provide a much more effective prognosis. Only an experiment in real conditions can speak about the solution more clearly!
If it is impossible to conduct a “pilot” option, then return to “method 3” and obtain information. Before starting your own business, talk to young entrepreneurs, find out what difficulties they have encountered, and think about whether you can somehow overcome these difficulties.
Don't have any experience? But there is a stranger! Find someone who has already solved your problem. And don’t step on other people’s rake!
Method 4 - if you don’t know what to do, act according to the law
Or according to your conscience, as you like. There could be a million situations here. For example, you opened your own business and hired employees. In principle, you can already start working, but here’s the problem: the workers have not yet been registered as required. This requires time, which, as always, is not there. And you decide to start sales and conclude employment contracts along the way . And you can save a little on deductions if you give your salary in envelopes. In general, many acquaintances do not register employees as employees and live happily ever after.
You can’t do this and it’s better to do everything right right away. Savings in this case can result in such losses that you wouldn’t wish it on your enemy. Therefore, if you have a choice, whether it is convenient or according to the law, do it according to the law . It's cheaper and quieter.
Method 8 – Set tripwires
Tripwires are a term coined by Chip and Dan Heath that indicate conditions (mostly unfavorable ones) that, when triggered, require certain actions to be taken. When we make a decision, we can fall into the trap of overconfidence. We may think that everything will be fine. But when problems begin, we will no longer be able to turn back, since we are so attached to our choice.
“Mine tripwires” will allow you to avoid this. For example, you decide to open your own business. Your forecast says that everything will be fine for you, and in a year you will become rich. But what if something goes wrong?
Formulate the conditions, upon the occurrence of which, you will change your decision. For example, if in a year your investments do not pay off at least 50%, you will stop investing in an unprofitable business.
Firstly, this approach will avoid difficult situations. Secondly, it will allow you to see hidden risks and somehow prepare for them, identify escape routes and be more realistic about your choices. Thirdly, you will be less attached to your choice, since you will put “stretch marks” when you step on them and you will look for another solution.
“What happens if I don’t get the promised growth in the first year at my new job?” “What will I do if, after moving to a new country, I encounter problems providing for myself?”
Ask yourself these questions often.
This method should not be used as an excuse for your indecisiveness. It is designed to rid you of overconfidence and prepare you for the problems that always happen.
What to do if you are in doubt: whether to change jobs or not?
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If you haven’t been happy with your job for a long time, and every morning you dread the production atmosphere you’ll have to plunge into again, maybe it’s finally time to quit? Such difficult decisions should not be made thoughtlessly.
Advice comes from Debra Davenport, PhD, a senior professional career coach and president of DavenportFolio, an entrepreneurial coaching company. She suggests answering a checklist to assess your current situation before making a life-changing decision:
- I look forward to going to work almost every day. (ABOUT)
- The employer treats me fairly and with respect. (ABOUT)
- I live on weekends or any days away from work. (U)
- I feel valued as a professional. (ABOUT)
- My workplace feels like it's been poisoned. (U)
- I can be myself at work and not worry about being judged. (ABOUT)
- I am included in the company's information cycle. (ABOUT)
- The employer provides opportunities for development and advanced training. (ABOUT)
- I don't feel disgusted if there is a need to work extra. (ABOUT)
- My work stimulates me intellectually and creatively. (ABOUT)
- I feel like I am making a positive contribution to society. (ABOUT)
- I get paid well. (ABOUT)
- I often find myself daydreaming about a new career. (U)
- I feel like my work is a natural extension of who I am. (ABOUT)
- I feel successful. (ABOUT)
- I feel trapped and stuck in my current situation. (U)
- I can count on career growth. (ABOUT)
- I like to work as hard as I can. (ABOUT)
- My work activities have a negative impact on my loved ones. (U)
- I have a desire to try something new and unusual. (U)
If you answered “YES” to the questions under the letter “O”, which means “Stay”, you need to wait a while before changing jobs. If “U” - “Leave” is in the lead, it’s worth taking a closer look at the vacant offers.
Method 9 – Listen to Criticism
Earlier in the article, I said that a good way to get rid of immediate emotions is to think about what you would advise a friend. But when you have doubts about decisions, why not ask a real friend for advice?
There is, of course, a slight problem here. Criticism is very good, but you need to be able to draw the right conclusions from it, since it is not always dispassionate. People often project their own fears and expectations onto other people when giving them advice.
For example, your friend has been working as an employee for many years, so when you ask him whether you should, for example, open your own business, he may tell you a categorical “no.” After all, his personal life choice is not connected with this and, by advising you something, he will defend his life model. Such protection will give him the opportunity to believe that he himself made the right life choice. It’s just worth taking into account such psychological aspects and making allowances for them.
But at the same time, one should not completely write off such criticism. Think of your friend as a "devil's advocate" who helps you get rid of unnecessary overconfidence, and his criticism as an indication of the weaknesses of your decision, and not as a complete denial of this choice.
Yes, owning your own business comes with risks and instability, as your friend says. But it does not at all follow from this that he should prefer hired work, since business also has a number of advantages. Your friend gives you a picture judged to the limits of his life experience. Your job is to take his vision, but place it within a broader view of the problem.
Then other people's criticism will help you complement the overall picture and balance your own arrogance with someone else's uncertainty.
Read the article: how to properly respond to criticism.
Content
- How to make the right decision in life
- Basic rules for decision making
- What should you not do?
- Eliminating emotions
- Fear
- Breath
- Wait
- Stay focused
- Rule 10/10/10
- Give yourself advice
- Ideal "I"
- Decision making methods
- Avoid restrictions and boundaries
- Dream Diary
- Expand your choice
- Disappearance
- Search for information
- Descartes square
- Three Question Method
- Try on different hats
- Eliminating uninteresting options
- Lesser of evils
- PMI method
- Practice five guiding questions
- Algorithm for independent decision making
- How to decide on a job?
- How to decide on divorce?
- How can I help you make a decision?
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Method 10 – When not to use all these methods
If you look at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices in which each alternative is defined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no shortcomings? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?
Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.
For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are single and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You won't lose anything if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.
Such situations are the exception. The more you think about them and weigh decisions, the more uncertainty grows and the chances of missing out on opportunities grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!
How to decide to move to another place?
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Although the world is full of magical places, we spend most of our lives in only one, apart from going on vacation. But sometimes everything gets boring, and we start thinking about moving. This step seems scary, but getting out of your comfort zone is the best way to learn and grow.
Making decisions about moving is not easy. First you need to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the choice:
- Why You Need It? Doubts mean that not all issues have yet been resolved.
- What do you like and dislike about where you currently live? What are you afraid of losing? Take a notepad and write down the pros and cons. It will be clear whether you are able to mitigate such problems.
- What do you expect to find in your new location? Moving from one city to a similar locality will essentially change little. If you want dramatic changes, you need to move to a populated area with a different population density.
- What is your family expecting? Evaluate the future financial capabilities, the availability of medical care in the new place, the availability of good kindergartens, schools and universities, and the ability to satisfy other social needs.
It must be borne in mind that it is those close to you who usually prevent you from making an important decision about changing your place of residence. Therefore, the whole family must prepare for the move, carefully discussing every worrying moment.
Carry out the analysis not mentally, but on paper. This will make it easier to work through each point. For example, find pen pals on social networks, find out real estate prices, visit sites with job offers, and estimate the salary level in the region in your specialty. You should also calculate the cost of relocation, the demand for the profession in the labor market, or the conditions for developing your own business.
How to decide to move, psychologist Natalya Tolstaya tells in the video:
