How to start a new life - 8 simple steps and recommendations from a professional psychologist


When change is necessary

Do you feel that joy is gradually leaving your life and anxiety is growing, that your daily activities do not bring pleasure at all, but only take energy? This is a signal that you are living wrong. If at this stage you do not turn off the beaten path, it will lead you into the jungle of deep depression, from which it will be very difficult to get out.

Sometimes life decides for us and literally forces us to start over from scratch. This happens after the death of a very close person, loss of valuable property, divorce, loss of a job. In such situations, we have no choice but to gather our strength and build our lives from scratch. Unfortunately, not everyone has the strength to cope with severe shocks; some people “break down”. Therefore, it is better not to wait for serious problems and start changing your life for the better today.

If you are not satisfied with your life, but you just can’t decide to change, I advise you to read Brian Tracy’s book “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone. Change your life".

All restrictions are in our heads

So, we realized what we wanted and even came up with several options on how we could achieve this goal.

What's next?

We write a detailed plan to achieve the goal

  • Know your starting point.
  • Understand which direction to move to achieve your dream life.

Let’s say point A of one man: a sales position with a salary of 20 thousand rubles. He dreams of his own business. Wants to conduct it remotely. Such a dream is point B of our hero. He must decide how to achieve it.

For example:

  • learn a promising online profession, as an option, marketer.
  • Work on a freelance exchange.
  • Find remote work.
  • Gain experience in this area.
  • Open your own marketing agency.
  • Goal achieved!
  • And the attributes of a beautiful life too.

We have decided that in order to live beautifully, we need to start earning money or achieving our desires in other ways. This is the most effective and proven method.

What you need to know before starting a new life

I bet this is not your first attempt to start living again. Surely you, like most people, have at least once promised yourself to radically change and start a new life, leaving no place in it for past bad habits, vices, and shortcomings. Next Monday, the first day of the new year, the beginning of vacation, etc. could be taken as the hypothetical beginning of this very “new” life.

On the “X” day, you honestly tried to carry out your plan, but something went wrong - either the alarm clock didn’t ring and you overslept while jogging, or your neighbor treacherously lured you with a delicious cake and you had to postpone your diet, or the TV hypnotized you and chained you to the sofa. , without giving me the opportunity to calmly study English. And now a new life, where you are beautiful, smart and successful, is postponed indefinitely.

Remember, a new life is not a fortress that needs to be taken by storm. You should not try to radically change yourself and your life in one fell swoop. So many people make this unfortunate mistake and suffer failure after failure. There are more and more missed Mondays, and less and less motivation to change.

Although it seems that you did everything right: you bought a gym membership, signed up for Spanish courses, stocked up on healthy food, threw away cigarettes - and all this on the first day of your new life. But for some reason he looked like he was at an open day in hell. You were unpleasant and uncomfortable, you were tired and at the same time you didn’t have time to do anything. After such a demo version of the new life, the old one will not seem so bad.

Why did this happen? The thing is that our brain is a complex dynamic system that always strives for balance with the environment. Over the years, habits and patterns of behavior that have been practiced take root and become fixed in the form of neural circuits. A neural circuit is a path along which an electrical impulse travels quickly and easily, expending a minimal amount of energy.

When you're trying to make a quantum leap from your usual dull and joyless life into a bright, productive future, it's difficult for your brain to rewire itself right away. New neural circuits have not yet formed, and old ones have not disintegrated. Impulses pass very slowly, wandering in the labyrinths of unfamiliar cells, and a large amount of energy is spent on their transmission. Therefore, you may feel empty and overwhelmed.

In order for the process of change to proceed easily and smoothly, you need to gradually rebuild your brain, forming new neural circuits. This is done by consolidating new habits, repeatedly repeating useful actions and abandoning harmful ones.

For clarity, watch this video.

And a few more useful tricks

  • LEARNING TO COUNT. The name of the “40−30-20−10” technique speaks for itself: you spend 40% of your time on the main task, 30 on the second most important task, 20 on the third. Dedicate the last 10 to everything else: this way you will be able to avoid the temptation to do everything at once.
  • WE ARE STUCK IN THE MATRIX. No matter how many things you have to do, the 34th President of the United States clearly had more. He came up with the Eisenhower matrix, which allows you to sort tasks by importance and urgency. Urgently look for an example on the Internet!
  • WE DEVELOP INTELLIGENCE. Mind maps are used by the top management of the largest companies: you draw many arrows from one global goal - and thereby describe an action plan from a to z. Don't like to draw? Use the MindMeister online service: it will do everything for you.
  • WE EAT FROGS. We are not talking about a gastrotrip to Paris now. “Frogs” are tasks that are simple in terms of execution, but put pressure on the nerves: they prevent you from concentrating on the main thing. Make it a rule to eliminate at least a couple of similar cases once a day. Feel better!
  • WE ARE RUNNING A BULLET JOURNAL. The technique is similar to “43 sheets,” but what if you like it more? Its author, designer Ryder Carroll, suggests dividing the diary into three parts. In the first you will write down goals for the year, in the second - for the month, in the third - for every day.
  • WE MAKE CHECKLISTS. Nothing complicated or supernatural: if you’re too lazy to bother, just make a list of important things to do for a given period of time. We recommend the website 365done.ru - here you can design your own (and very beautiful) checklist.

Useful materials for those who want to start a new life

I want to recommend you five excellent courses that will help you start your life over - find a goal, develop a plan to achieve it, motivate yourself, develop new skills and abilities, and reach new heights. And get extraordinary pleasure from life.

Goal setting

Description. You should definitely start with this course. The teacher will tell you how to understand what you really want from this life, what kind of person you want to be, what activity will give you the greatest joy.

Then, in subsequent lessons, you will learn the intricacies of planning, assessing your capabilities, gain time management skills, and master the rules of self-motivation.

Having found a new and powerful purpose in life, you will look at your entire past differently. You will take some things into account, and you will simply forget others so that you never remember them.

The course is cheap, you can start studying it right now.

Authors: developers of the Vikium project.

Cost: 990 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Brain fitness

Description. This course is very expensive, but it will help you become a completely different person. When you buy the program, Vikium mails you a small device called a “neural interface” - look at the guy's head in the picture, he's using it.

The neurointerface is needed so that you can better understand yourself and the peculiarities of your perception of the world. The device will analyze the work of your brain in a variety of periods: when you come home from work exhausted, when you are nervous, anxious, thinking about your past, and so on. The results of the analysis will be uploaded to the Vikium platform, and in response it will issue recommendations.

In the “Brain Fitness” course, you will get rid of all the negativity that interferes with your life, and also develop your thinking abilities: you will be able to easily focus on complex tasks, think, and remember information.

Authors: developers of the Vikium project.

Cost: 12,990 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Brain Detoxification

Description. Brain detoxification will help you quickly and easily get rid of all those thoughts that are poisoning your life. They can be very different: fear, anger and irritation, regret about the past, various depressive feelings, etc.

The course is small, there are only 10 lessons, but there are a lot of practical exercises. The teacher will also recommend specific free Vikium simulators that you will need to practice regularly.

Author: Victor Shiryaev.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Effective Communication

Description. Without communication skills, it will be difficult for you. If you want to start over, build happy relationships with your loved ones, friends, work colleagues, you need to learn to communicate.

In the course you will find 33 in-depth lectures on the rules of communication and 26 extensive exercises for practice. This all lasts exactly one month, the format of the classes is webinars with teachers.

After training, you will be able to influence others, easily solve problems that involve people around you, no matter what their age or social status. It will be much easier for you to establish contacts and move up the career ladder.

Authors: developers of the Vikium project.

Cost: 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

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