What to do if nothing makes you happy: 5 ways to awaken interest in life

A feeling of melancholy and insurmountable despair occurs in almost every person. In moments when nothing makes you happy in life, many people hide in their “shell” and give up. It's sad, but sometimes acute hopelessness turns existence into real torture. And death becomes so desirable that a person readily stops it. What are the reasons for the vile state when there is no joy, and there is eternal melancholy in the heart? What will help you find a way out and regain the strength to move forward? The answers to these questions are like a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel of gray existence.

What is apathy in a person, how does it appear, and what causes it?

The main reason for apathy is a simple lack of energy. In the modern world, we must be on the move all the time, run all the time, hurry, and we don’t have a second to rest. For some time the body copes, a “second wind” may open, then a third, fourth, but the body’s resources are not limitless. At some point, our body begins to rebel and turns on a defense mechanism called “apathy.”

Apathy sets in, you don’t want to do anything, and you feel constant fatigue, when you don’t even have the strength or desire to turn your head. We know what to do when the battery in our phone runs out, but what to do when the battery in our body runs out? This is even more difficult when you don’t want to do anything.

Apathy due to emotional burnout occurs in those who take their work too seriously. These are doctors, rescuers, firefighters, police, etc. Giving all of themselves to work, saving people and not feeling the return, people burn out. Sometimes powerlessness and inability to save someone who trusted you causes disappointment in your profession or in yourself. At first this manifests itself in rudeness, and then indifference to one’s work.

Apathy is a rather serious condition. Starting with indifference and detachment, aversion to life may also appear. No one is immune from this misfortune, and apathy can overtake a woman, a man, and a child.

The state of apathy, if you don’t want to do anything, is not simply laziness, with which it is often confused. Apathy is based on psychophysiological reasons. The causes of laziness are similar to those of apathy, but they are not as dangerous. With laziness, a person is in harmony with himself, and he is consciously lazy, not wanting to do anything. A lazy person causes irritation, and an apathetic person causes anxiety. Laziness is a permanent human state that lasts continuously for years, while apathy occurs in active and cheerful people, and is of a severe nature, requiring the attention of a psychologist.

Turn on awareness

Another valuable practice from another course by Pavel Kochkin is “Lucid Dreaming.” It may not lead you to lucid dreams (they require deeper work), but it will definitely help you look at your life from a different angle.

Every hour during the day ask yourself the question: Who am I? Where I am? What am I doing?

Answering these questions will increase your focus on the present moment, thereby increasing your awareness and sense of the moment. Practice for at least a week and you will understand what we are talking about.

This exercise can instantly turn on all the colors, sounds, smells and tastes of life - everything that has already been half-forgotten and is lived by you automatically.

Weakness, drowsiness, apathy, fatigue: causes in women

Women are physically weaker than men; in addition, they are often more emotional and vulnerable. In this regard, the causes of apathy in women can be of various origins.

Hormones play a huge role in a woman's health. Pregnancy, menopause, PMS, cause a hormonal storm in the body, frequent mood swings, and at some point, this mood may freeze at its lowest point.

To treat certain diseases, women undergo hormonal treatment. A hormonal imbalance in the body can cause a whole chain of disruptions that lead to apathy. Appetite is disrupted, as a rule, women begin to overeat, gain weight, and when looking in the mirror, experience extreme stress. This stress is exacerbated if treatment does not have the desired effect. Lack of faith in the future and lack of strength to fight further leads to apathy and depression.

Unhappy love is a huge challenge for any person, but some women experience it more acutely. If a breakup occurs, the woman feels abandoned, unwanted, and is overcome by a wave of despair. At first, this is an understandable desire to cry, and at such moments no one is eager to interrupt this flow. It is believed that in such cases you need to let her cry, but without friendly support, the woman is exhausted from tears, and soon there is emptiness left. Then there are no more tears, but there are no other desires either.

Apathy in women can be caused by overwork. This especially often occurs after the birth of a child, when chronic lack of sleep gives way to constant fear for the child, and not very correct statements from relatives or lack of help from a spouse cause a feeling of inferiority. A woman tells herself that she is a bad mother, a bad wife, and all her efforts lead to nothing. Why then all this? Why cook, clean, take care of yourself if no one cares about you. A bad mood is combined with physical fatigue, which over time leads to apathy.

Unfulfilled dreams, shattered hopes, when everything goes wrong and a woman does not have time to comprehend what is happening around her, she withdraws into herself and does not react to the outside world at all.

In fact, there are many reasons why apathy occurs. The death of a loved one, stress, loss of a job, and when a series of unpleasant events does not stop, a certain fuse is triggered in the head, which turns off all feelings and emotions.

In a healthy body... everything is healthy

If you are in a bad mood and lack the desire to live, most psychologists recommend looking for joy and healthy laughter in everything. This is why many people like to tinker with animals or small children. But one of the most guaranteed means is, perhaps, sports and stress on the body. Go for a run or swim in the pool when you feel “I can’t” when you don’t even want to get out of bed. Just do it.

Exercising increases the level of endorphins in the blood: run in the morning for a week and the taste of life will return.

Causes of apathy in men

Apathy can arise against a background of dissatisfaction with oneself. Men often shoulder an unbearable burden. They clearly plan everything, but if the plan goes awry, irritation arises, they blame themselves for their inability to cope with the situation, and as a result, any desire to do something disappears.

The constant routine, repeated day after day, has already received its name: “Groundhog Day.” A person feels trapped and cannot escape from it. Every new day is similar to the previous one. A person does not see the future, he walks in circles, and there is no end to this. Everything loses its meaning, home-work, work-home, and all the colors in life have faded.

The man automatically goes through all the movements, actions, and slowly loses control over himself. He doesn’t remember what day it is, whether he put on his shoes, or wears slippers to work, he is overcome by indifference to everything. One day he simply won’t get up for work in the morning and will remain lying on the bed, looking blankly at the ceiling. He ceases to recognize himself as a living person, and this is not an exaggeration. With apathetic depression, devitalization of mental alienation appears when a person loses awareness of his own “I”. The instinct of self-preservation disappears, as does the desire to exist.

If a man is too responsible, he often takes on too much. He helps everyone, of course, everyone uses it with pleasure. Chronic fatigue, lack of sleep, irregular nutrition and every second responsibility lead to chronic fatigue. The word “I want” is replaced by the word “need”, and so on endlessly. If you always follow circumstances, ignoring your own needs, over time, weakness, drowsiness along with insomnia, fatigue and apathy appear.

Often, apathy in men can be the result of prolonged stress. A job you don’t like, bad relationships in the family, all this accumulates over the years and gradually drains all your strength. For his own reasons, a man cannot or does not want to change the situation and continues to go with the flow as long as he has the strength.

Apathy does not begin suddenly, and the first signs of this disorder can be noticed long before the person simply refuses to move.

First of all, a man gives up his hobbies. If he used to go fishing or go to a bar with friends on weekends, then with the onset of apathy this becomes uninteresting to him. He moves away from his friends and spends more and more time alone, just staring at the wall.

Then there is confusion, lethargy, memory loss and drowsiness. People around him write this off as laziness, and the alarm begins to sound only when a person stops taking care of himself, washing, eating and reacting to his surroundings.

This is a severe stage of apathy, and if this condition continues for more than two weeks, it’s time to get down to business. A person will not get out of this state on his own and will simply wither away.

Surround yourself with cheerful people

Our mood often directly depends on our environment. Most success coaches recommend choosing your environment, that is, communicating more with positive, supportive people and minimizing contact with whiners and pessimists.

At the same time, complain less about life yourself, even if at first glance it seems unfair. By accustoming yourself to such restraint, you will become stronger internally. A person who is accustomed to complaining weakens himself, spending energy not on finding solutions and getting out of the current situation, but on... whining. So it’s not far from depression. Especially if the number of people willing to provide their vest decreases sharply.

How to deal with fatigue and apathy?

Quite rarely, a person with apathy turns to doctors for help. I want to lie down and do nothing, not even breathe or blink. Everything has lost its meaning and absolute indifference to one’s own condition does not allow a person to realize the need for treatment.

❗️After all, many miss the first symptoms of apathy and write everything off as simple fatigue. They hope to sleep off, go on vacation and everything will pass. But it’s not always possible to rest on time, and at work they can be loaded with additional urgent work.

In such cases, it is important to listen to yourself and not drive yourself like a “draft horse.” Sometimes, for the sake of your own health, you can give an ultimatum to your superiors. Of course, this is not the best option, but the fact is that if apathy overtakes you, you may lose your job anyway. Only you will be sick, unhappy and useless to anyone. Yesterday's valuable employee will turn into a pale shadow of yesterday's workaholic.

Apathy is a problem in modern society, and therefore it is wiser to prevent this disorder and not bring it to a clinical state, which, according to the International Classification of Diseases, has an index of R45.3 “Demoralization and apathy.”


This is the opposite situation. During the race of life, we sometimes forget who we are and where we are running. It’s no wonder that you can resort to... depression.

Indian spiritual leader Osho once said: if you have forgotten where you are going, stop, and only remembering your path, continue going.

The process of achieving goals can be so time-consuming that we sometimes forget about the goals themselves and do not get pleasure from achieving what we want.

That is why it is important to devote time to self-contemplation, spiritual development, or at least basic relaxation in nature. Everyone has their own recipes: for some, it’s enough to take a walk through the forest or park, look at the sun’s rays breaking through the crown of the trees, while others are filled internally in the company of a good book or looking at the smoldering coals of the fireplace... Look for your own recipes that will fill you up energetically and will support you in difficult moments.

Treatment of apathetic depression - the right approach is important

Apathetic depression is not always easy to treat. Often an integrated approach is needed, combining psychotraining and restorative therapy of the body. By the time relatives begin to sound the alarm, the patient is already exhausted both mentally and physically, he simply does not have the strength, even for treatment. Weakness and prolonged fasting exhaust the body, and every movement is difficult.

In such cases, a vitamin complex is prescribed to improve the patient’s physical condition, enhanced nutrition, and only then psychotherapy sessions are prescribed.

In cases of severe apathy, treatment often begins with hypnosis sessions. It is important to reach the patient, bring him out of his stupor and give him motivation to heal. In a state of hypnosis, a person is freed from his problems, and by exploring all corners of a person’s memory, one can find what exactly caused the disorder and how to get out of it.

Subsequently, during psychotherapy sessions, the patient, together with the psychologist, sorts out what was wrong. It is important to correctly measure your capabilities and strengths so as not to be upset by failures and unfulfilled dreams. You can get out of apathy this time, but you need to learn not to get into such situations again.

It is important to be aware of your “I”, which determines all our and not our “wants”. Being kind and sympathetic is wonderful, but we must not forget about ourselves. If the inner “I” protests, a person comes into conflict with himself, and it is important to realize this.

When psychotraining does not bring results, the doctor may prescribe psychostimulants for nervous activity. It is better not to select medications on your own, and amateur activity is not encouraged here. Most over-the-counter medications have a sedative effect of varying degrees. These drugs can only harm the patient. In addition, drug therapy must be combined with psychotherapy.

The psychotherapist will tell you how to live further, so as not to encounter this terrible illness again. It’s a good idea to create a clear daily routine for yourself. Don't be afraid to be considered a bore, and stick to your own schedule.

Scientists write that it is enough for an adult to sleep 6 hours a day, but they forget to add that these are average figures. Allow as much time for your sleep as your body needs. Don't forget about exercise and proper nutrition. It is not for nothing that they say that in a healthy body there is a healthy mind. The body will find the necessary resources during the next trouble, but these resources need to be protected and replenished in a timely manner.

Learn to be optimistic. It sounds strange, but optimism can be learned. There is a share of optimism in every person, and with regular training you can develop the ability to see the good and believe more in miracles. Treat everyday problems with irony and a bit of humor, because these are little things that are not worth your worries.

Most often, the people who fall under the influence of apathy are those who themselves allowed this to happen. They limited themselves only to work and responsibilities, and completely abandoned entertainment. It’s always a pity to spend time and money on entertainment, but a person needs them. Let it be a trip to the zoo, to the cinema, or riding a bike, but the human brain needs a change of scenery and emotions. Otherwise, the repeating image of “Groundhog Day” will return again.

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