Indifference - how to deal with it in life and in relationships

Indifference is a part of a person’s emotional spectrum, characterized by a complete lack of interest, indifference to a certain topic, event or life in general. Indifference in character may be a prevailing feature or reflect an isolated case of a temporary condition; in total cases, it is not a separate feature, but a symptom of an incipient mental disorder or indicate a number of somatic diseases. This concept is synonymous with the word indifference, and at the same time it can concern both the sphere of relationships (when your loved one is not particularly affected by your life or psycho-emotional state) and the surrounding space (climate change, authorities, price increases, carnivals and holidays).

People’s indifference is most terrible in its total manifestation, when it begins to affect one’s own personality. In such a situation, it is no longer possible to justify the resulting state by mental exhaustion or trauma, selfishness, or the distribution of forces only on the main tasks.

When a person becomes indifferent to his own fate, further development comes down only to degradation. The reasons for such a strong degree of manifestation are the experience of serious stressful events and previous high overvoltage. Constantly living from a position of obligation leads to the fact that a person forgets how to want and desire; this mental function gradually atrophies and all that remains is life activity similar to a zombie.

Indifference to life contributes to the development of depression, arrest of development, both social and personal, and the destruction of significant social connections. The less interest a person has, the less he does, the worse his personal reality and direct participation become, and therefore indifference increases.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch is, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.

And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.

Watch the video in which a girl tells how to become a bitch:

Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.

Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.

How to prevent everyday life from killing love

Many have fallen in love, had a first date, breathtaking and heart-pounding meetings, a wedding, a honeymoon. And it seemed to everyone that happiness would last forever and tender feelings would always be in their souls.

But the honeymoon ends sooner or later. Everyday life begins with everyday life and everyday problems. And few can retain those bright feelings and romance in their relationships that were at the very beginning of the relationship.

In order to preserve tender feelings, it is necessary to make joint efforts and compromise on many issues.

Otherwise, everyday life will destroy even the most tender feelings. And the reason is simple. In everyday life, each subsequent day is similar to the previous one. Due to the heavy workload, there is less and less time to communicate with your loved one. The feeling of novelty wears off, the joy of having a loved one nearby becomes less and less.

It seems that your loved one will always be there, and you can have a heart-to-heart talk tomorrow. After all, today there is no time for this.

We must learn to prioritize and remember that. that family should always come first. If one of the spouses has a job, hobby, home improvement is a priority. and the relationship with your partner is in second place, then gradually they will begin to move away from each other. And one day the wife or husband will understand that they are completely different and strangers, living together for some unknown reason.

How to stop everyday life from killing your relationship

Preserving your feelings and not letting life turn into a routine is not at all difficult. We must respect each other, be able to find a compromise and set priorities.

You can protect your love from everyday life if you follow simple but effective recommendations:

Your relationship with your spouse should always come first;
When communicating with him you need to be gentle and attentive;
Give nice gifts;
Although maybe once a year you can relax together;
In conflict situations and controversial issues, you must learn to give in;
Psychological comfort should reign in the family;
Take care of yourself, pay attention to your appearance;
There should be harmony in sex.

How to let go and forget a guy

If he still hasn’t warmed up to you, don’t torture yourself: let him go. To do this, just switch to your own affairs - meet with your girlfriends more often, go shopping, play sports, study, read books. Here you will find a selection of the most interesting publications. Try not to blame yourself, repeat to yourself that this is not your person and you are not on the right path. You definitely need to get rid of bad thoughts. In this article we will tell you how to do this through meditation, sports and other activities.

Here is a video with some pretty good advice from a psychotherapist:

If necessary, meet another guy, spend time with him, go out and enjoy your freedom! And finally, remember, you will definitely meet the one who will always love you.

How to overcome apathy with training

The “Brain Detoxification” course is a good way to free yourself from oppression, self-absorption, apathy and indifference. Often despondency and indifference come to us due to our brains being cluttered with problems. This training will help you completely:
Clear your mind and consciousness.
Concentrate on important things.
Get rid of annoying stress and anxiety.
Sleep well and rest.
Develop empathy.
Get rid of bad, toxic thoughts.

The author of the course is Viktor Shiryaev, a first-class specialist in developmental psychology.

You will receive 10 lessons with practical tasks, exercises and techniques to get rid of excess brain garbage.

What's the result? The course developers claim that you will become a new person with a clear mind and clear consciousness!

Cost – 1,053 rubles.

If suddenly you are not satisfied with something, within 7 days you can return the money for the course.

What does it mean to be indifferent to yourself

Lifestyle is of no small importance in the formation of an indifferent state. The reason for indifferent behavior can be simple boredom

Sometimes the desire to be inactive is short-term in nature, in which case a person simply needs a little rest. However, if indifference develops into a difficult mental state or protracted depression, then it is necessary to analyze your behavior and eliminate the causes of such manifestations.

There are a lot of possible reasons for indifference, let’s consider some of them:

Experienced stress
Chronic diseases.
Physical fatigue.
Disappointment in professional activities.
Lack of purpose in life.
Dissatisfaction with social and public life.
Alcohol abuse and other bad habits.
Advanced age.
Emotional exhaustion.
Energy imbalance.

There can be many reasons for indifference.
An indifferent state manifests itself as a defensive reaction of the body. A person withdraws from the world around him. Not wanting to feel despair or loneliness, he stops showing emotions.

When the body is unwell, indifference is a symptom of an ongoing illness.
Taking certain medications can also cause a similar effect.
The lack of material wealth gives a person uncertainty about the future, thus causing indifference to current events.
When material values are placed above human values, a person ceases to experience moral satisfaction from such a life.
Lack of purposefulness deprives us of interest in current events. We stop striving and wanting, we live a boring, monotonous life. In this case, it is necessary to arm yourself with a goal. It is this that motivates a person and forces him to take action.
Experiencing strong feelings, a person becomes exhausted and becomes unable to express any emotions. In this case, temporary peace and quiet will have a positive effect on the state of the body.
Any life situation can lead to apathy.
Too active emotional outbursts lead the body to a state of fatigue. Emotions go off scale and the limit comes, the person becomes indifferent for some time.
A person who has lost the meaning of life does not worry about anything. Lack of desire for anything leads to a passive state of motor activity. The person is in no hurry, his energy reserves are at a minimum.
To form desires, it is necessary to show emotions to surrounding events. Indifference leads to a passive state, indifference.

Depression is also common

Depression is the mildest form of indifference. Since in a depressed state a person experiences, at a minimum, negative emotions. In this state, the person suffers due to the unattainability of his desires.

To avoid diving even deeper, be less alone with yourself and your own thoughts. Always try to realize your potential to the maximum. This will give you new strength and energy. By being involved in the lives of others, you will feel that they care about you

This will encourage you to be kind and helpful. Don't neglect the attention shown to you. Understanding and support from loved ones will awaken your human qualities.

What is indifference?

Sociologists call indifference a person’s conscious refusal to participate in changes that affect not only his own life, but also the life of society.
An indifferent person does not care about others, is prone to inaction and is constantly in a state of apathy. Indifference is common to many people and does not arise without reason. One indifferent person from childhood received everything he wanted, grew up selfish, got used to thinking only about himself and did not care about others. Another, brought up in an atmosphere of mutual respect, but finding himself in a situation where the good he did was reciprocated with evil, has lost faith in justice and deliberately turns a blind eye to someone’s cruelty.

People belonging to the second type, not wanting the unpleasant situation to happen again, distance themselves from what is happening and often pass by the cruelty. But there is also a third type of people. “Everyone gets what they deserve. By interfering, I prevent them from correcting what their ancestors or they themselves did in their past lives,” this is their train of thought.

The person has negative feelings towards you

It's almost impossible to please everyone. That's why each of us has friends who don't like us. But we try to control ourselves and not demonstrate our negative attitude (in the event that our hostility is mutual), and other people do not consider this a reasonable solution. Moreover, they do this on purpose to show you their disdain. They try to insult, humiliate, spoil the mood, etc. But we understand that they do all this out of their weakness and bad manners. An intelligent person will never stoop to show his negative attitude. The most he will do is simply ignore you. Therefore, you should not be offended by those who show their anger in this way.

Signs of indifference

The problem of indifference can affect anyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. In modern society, indifference is gradually becoming the norm of behavior, for which almost no one is held accountable. When a person passes by someone else's misfortune indifferently, without showing any interest, without trying to provide all possible help, this often causes misunderstanding among caring people. Such signs of indifference sometimes indicate mental disorders or character traits: passivity, apathy. They appear:

in cynicism;
lack of empathy;
prudence.

Even if a criminal offense is committed in front of such a person, he will convince himself that this is not his business and that these problems should be dealt with exclusively by the police. Lack of civic responsibility among people has a negative impact and deteriorates the quality of life of the entire society.

Why can a guy lose interest in a girl?

The first six months of a relationship almost always fly by unnoticed and beautifully; he wants to carry you in his arms, talk to you from morning to evening, please and surprise. At the end of the candy-bouquet period, everything can change dramatically: a man often becomes cold in communicating with his soul mate. One of the reasons for this behavior is that the guy stopped loving the girl. Our other article will help you understand this or that. In it you can find the main signs of the disappearance of feelings.

The attitude of a young man (hereinafter referred to as MCH) can change even after he understands that you have a lot of shortcomings. Any little things can irritate him: the fact that you speak quickly, smoke, laugh strangely, bother you with your calls, raise your voice, etc. There may also be complaints about your appearance: according to his ideas, it turns out that you are not at all the slender person you used to be were considered, and your breasts are no longer large, and your hips are too wide, and it’s time to get rid of cellulite...

be rude to him;
not listening or hearing your partner;
act like a man in a skirt;
do not consult him;
do not show how significant it is or go too far with it;
restrict his freedom;
be constantly jealous;
stop paying attention to your appearance.

You should also not forget about the importance of intimate relationships, if you have them. Maybe the guy is bored with the monotony, or he’s tired of waiting, or he’s no longer attracted to you sexually... It’s also likely that the guy could have cooled off if the girl just got too attached to him

Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself

It is also likely that the guy could cool down if the girl simply became too attached to him. Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself.

His influence on life

Being an ambiguous and multidimensional concept, indifference also has different effects on human life. When the psyche or body is working at its last speed, when internal defense mechanisms no longer work, a person is at that level of overstrain, when there is a high risk that all anxiety, fears and experiences will transform into a disease, then the psyche turns on indifference as a fuse.

This is a kind of mental anesthesia that allows you to endure the hell that is happening and remain alive in it, gain strength and then engage in awareness of what is happening. Thus, a mother may become indifferent to the requests of her children in a situation where, if she does not get at least a little sleep, mental disorders will arise, and rescuers will remain deaf to the pleas of those who are in trouble when they themselves have worked on the last resources for several days in a row. Indifference performs a protective and saving function, but it is worth considering that such manifestations are only situational and after receiving the necessary rest or leaving threatening conditions, sensitivity and interest automatically return.

If sensitivity and interest are not a consequence of stress and constant companions can increasingly take over life, then this disrupts many of the person’s connections with his own soul and self-understanding, after which interaction with society is disrupted, then the professional sphere collapses, after which even the basic physical level of existence.

Now the indifferent attitude is progressing more and more, becoming a social trait - just recently, people ran to help someone who fell on the street, they opened the door for women with bags, they calmed crying children. This attitude is no longer applicable to strangers, everyone only helps their own people, and even then not always; if something happens, the majority passes by with an absolutely calm face. This also applies to neighboring countries and even regions - no one anymore thinks that deforestation in a neighboring city will also affect their ecological condition, because it doesn’t matter how others will live, and their own descendants too.

Passivity and aggression come where indifference appears, the behavior of elders is copied by children and, as a result, the world becomes increasingly distant in intersocial relations, because each behavior is reinforced in the next generation. Nowadays it is common to walk past strangers, it will be normal for children to ignore the problems of loved ones, grandchildren will not even care about family members, and great-grandchildren will cease to be interested in anything at all. And if on an individualistic level this leads to degradation and destruction of the psyche, then in larger processes it is indifference that is the root cause that triggers the destruction of all humanity.

Indifference is inextricably linked to the level of responsibility and the higher its manifestations, the lower a person’s ability to bear responsibility for his choices, relationships, the world around him, etc. One can equate low interest in the surrounding space to teenage infantilism, regardless of age. If a person is at a low level of personal development, then psychologically he represents a teenager who most often does not care about social norms and opinions, but who has many destructive tendencies. The infantilization of society leads to an increase in the level of indifference among all segments of the population.

Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

Books, singing together, and other ways to bond with your child

5 simple rules from environmentalists: what not to do when celebrating the New Year

Bathroom decor idea: making a towel rack out of old valves

How indifference manifests itself in various areas of life

Indifference manifests itself in many ordinary life situations when an indifferent individual:

shows reluctance to help a fallen person get up;
does not give up a seat in transport to a pregnant woman or an old man;
does not try to calm a crying child;
refuses to help grandma cross the road;
does not want to feed a stray dog or cat;
does not intervene when the strong offend the weak;
does not call the police to report the offense.

Despite the fact that there are still many people in society who rush to help others, indifference is gaining more and more space in our world, becoming a global problem and approaching the brink where few people want to take on unnecessary responsibility, considering such behavior to be normal.

Indifference in a relationship can manifest itself in different ways. Indifference is expressed not only in the inability to empathize with someone else’s grief, but also in the inability to rejoice in the achievements, success and victories of one’s neighbor. If you look at such a person from the outside, he looks phlegmatic, sad, calm and indifferent.

Some accuse such individuals of selfishness, sincerely not understanding those passing by and not helping a person who, for example, became ill on the street. Someday they themselves may need help, and as a result, the manifestation of inhumanity and deliberate inaction in an emergency situation can lead to a tragic ending. Indifference is expressed in relation to:

to work;
to a partner;
to children;
to public life;
to the people around.

Why Empathy Is Normal

The problem of indifferent people is a problem of the entire surrounding society. How is a person different from an animal? The ability to come to the aid of one’s neighbor, the ability to sympathize, to empathize with the grief of others. Because of indifferent people, every year in the world many people die on the streets from heart attacks, beatings and robberies occur, which could have been avoided if a passer-by had not turned away indifferently, but at least called for help.

A person becomes indifferent not because our society is bad. There is no need to look for an excuse for our callousness and cowardice in the time or state in which we live. Listen to your heart - how often has it refused to respond to other people's tears? How often have you not responded to other people’s problems just because you have too many of your own? How often have they covered up their reluctance to part with a penny by saying that beggars can be scammers?

It's not about the people around you, it's only about yourself and your ability to do good deeds. Don't expect gratitude for the feeling shown. Love - and you will be loved.

How to get out of a vicious circle

If you have forgotten how to trust the world around you, and it seems to you that there are only scammers around, try to relearn effective communication. Try to make pleasant acquaintances, help people just like that, especially if you see that they need your participation. Over time, it will become less scary to give, you will feel additional energy, strength that you were previously afraid to show. Gradually, you will notice that there are many people around who are sincerely interested in your affairs, mood and health, and you will find faithful like-minded people.

Thus, the problem of human indifference is hidden in the inability to communicate. In our age of information technology, so many people just sit at home in front of the monitor, and they have nowhere to go, no one to exchange a word with!

Types of indifference

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by the routine of everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless

In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

Attitude towards other people

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Indifference of men

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

At work

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case, the negative consequences of indifference manifest themselves faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today no employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not maintain good relations with the team, who constantly makes mistakes.

On politics and the environment

The consequences of human passivity in the political and social sphere are very sad, because in this case, any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. In recent years, the consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature have been increasingly felt.

To the children

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

Main causes of apathy

This condition is complicated in that you won’t immediately know what reason led to apathy, since the reasons can be not only physical, but also psychological. Today, medicine knows the following reasons:

transfer of diseases: mental or protracted somatic;
chronic lack of sleep;
weak immunity;
lack of microelements and vitamins, for example, B12, D, iodine and others;
emotional burnout, stress and physical exhaustion;
sedentary lifestyle;
failures in personal life and at work;
workaholism;
sudden change in life situation;
as a consequence of addictions to shame, guilt, perfectionism, and inability to control emotions.

The word “apathy” means “without passion”, “without excitement” and this state is not so bad. All these reasons could cause mental illness or nervous breakdowns. But our psyche is protected by lack of emotion and “turns on” apathy.

Women's indifference to a man as a test

It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular action or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke on both men and women.

This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds itself of itself through the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.

This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It happens that a woman feels mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles arise on guard, expressed in doubts:

is it reliable enough;
how purposeful he is;
whether he is brave or cowardly;
Is he able to take responsibility?

It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long-lasting?! The fact is that every person is naturally programmed to create a couple.

To continue procreation, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a self-confident male who is capable of making responsible decisions and caring for his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of trick in order to make sure that her choice is correct.

What kills love for a man in a woman

At first, a woman loves her man madly and cannot imagine her life without him. But over time, feelings go somewhere, and love disappears with them.

What kills a woman's love?

Coldness and indifference. A woman, like air, needs warm words, tenderness from a man, feeding her feelings with positive emotions. After all, it’s not difficult to say once again how much a man loves you, that you are very beautiful;
Lack of help from a man. Many women work, run households, and take care of children. Therefore, they need the help of their husband: he can at least play with the child, take out the trash;
No understanding. The husband is the closest and dearest person. And with whom, if not with him, should a woman share her problems and experiences? So support her;
Jealousy kills all feelings. Don’t be jealous yourself and don’t give your partner reasons to be jealous.

The following behavior of men also destroys love:

Addiction to strong drinks;
Rudeness and rudeness;
Lack of initiative;
Irresponsibility;
Assault;
Boring;
Aggression;
Lie.

Lack of communication skills

When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.

The discovery of thousands of new exoplanets: the best scientific discoveries of the decade

Sit by the window: what to do during a flight to avoid getting sick

Third Efremov: how Nikita feels about his last name, and why he doesn’t remember his grandfather

Frying pan against flowers

One of the manifestations of indifference is lack of attention to each other

We can live in the same family, but not notice each other’s needs, but what we don’t notice can be very important for our loved one. For example, my wife wants me to give her flowers, and I say: well, why do you need them, let me give you a frying pan instead! She's more useful

I buy a frying pan, she smiles, accepts my gift, but she wants flowers. This is also indifference, because you do not pay attention to the person’s needs and desires. You measure it by yourself. I don't need flowers, I'm for a frying pan. It seems like a small thing, but it doesn't lead to anything good. And then children are born in such a family.

I recently attended a meeting of the commission on preventing violence in the family and society. We discussed the problem: one boy in kindergarten behaves very aggressively, and it also turned out that he constantly wants to sleep. They began to question the parents. They say: “What do you want, we come home from work tired, go to bed at eight o’clock, and he watches movies on the Internet until three in the morning.” The boy is five or six years old. The parents believe that there is nothing bad in this situation: after all, they work to provide for him, so that he has everything. The fact that he watches uncontrolled information until three in the morning is normal for them. Who knows what this child saw? Can you be surprised if over time he grows into an antisocial person? What do you want from young people if they grow up in indifferent families?

I don’t know how to bring people out of the lethargic sleep of indifference. It is everywhere, even in small things. Unclean shoes, unkempt clothes, negligence - all this is formed by indifference.

How to understand that you have apathy

In simple words, this state is described as absolute indifference to everything. But this can be a fleeting state, and sometimes it drags on for a long time. So, how do you understand that you have apathy, and not laziness or depression?

Laziness is also not such a common condition, because initially it originates from failures or decreased energy.

When you don’t feel like washing the dishes right now because you simply don’t like doing it, that’s laziness. If you cannot gather yourself together to clean the house, do the usual things that you could easily do at another time, this already looks like apathy.

But the state of apathy is also characterized by a violation of the emotional-volitional sphere. If you give up and drop an expensive cup given by the person you love most, and don’t react in any way... This is already a reason to save yourself from the emotional frost.

You can find out if you have apathy right now. To do this, take the test “Are you depressed or apathetic?” It helps you better understand your condition.

Reasons for indifference

This behavior is often provoked by fear of responsibility and subsequent obligations that may arise as a reaction to the help provided to another person. There are other concerns, expressed in the ingratitude of people who received help. Reasons may include severe upheavals that occurred in the recent past, shock or stress, or the death of a loved one. Often this condition is caused by the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs.

Indifference to life, lack of empathy for the pain of other people often lies in family relationships and begins in childhood, when there is violence, despotism, cruel upbringing on the part of parents, and inability to find a common language with the child. Lack of attention, care, affection in childhood and adolescence can serve as a significant reason that a child will grow up not only passive, but also cruel, showing aggression towards the people who surround him.

Children look at their parents' behavior from the very beginning. A person is not born indifferent. Some are taught from an early age to be independent and trust only themselves, thus cultivating selfishness in the child. Others are overprotected, which creates a situation where their own needs come before everything else. Such upbringing and incorrect attitude towards your child are often the reason for his subsequent indifference to the needs of other people.

What kills love and how to preserve it

Over time, feelings fade and love passes. Why is this happening? Most often because no attempt is made to preserve it.

How to keep love?

No need to think. that if during the candy-bouquet period you have created such conditions for your chosen one to love you, then you don’t need to do anything further.

To maintain love, you need to make a lot of effort every day. It will not survive on its own. Love lives on its own only at the beginning of a relationship, and later it will require the efforts of two people to maintain it.

It is necessary to create a world for two in which love lives. It consists of emotions and experiences. There must be a sense of family in this world, there must be “WE”. You need to feel that you and your chosen one are one whole. And this feeling creates reciprocity, community, togetherness. And this space can easily be destroyed by words, emotions and, even worse, betrayal.

We must understand that in family life quarrels and conflicts are inevitable. And often many couples do not even notice how their relationship finds itself in a crisis situation.

How to understand if your relationship is on the verge of breaking down

A crisis in a family does not happen overnight; many reasons contribute to it. And if they are recognized at an early stage and the necessary measures are taken in a timely manner, the deterioration of the situation can be stopped.

What are these reasons?

If everyone lives on their own, everyone has their own life, their own interests, and they move further and further away from each other. This is one of the key signs that a relationship is close to divorce. In a relationship, emotional distance and alienation sets in; the couple is together out of habit. Or they are kept together by children, loans, shared housing. Very often couples don't even realize it. They spend less and less time together and eventually live next to each other, like neighbors;
People are together, but still alone. There are no feelings, trust, tenderness between them. Over time, this can lead to indifference;
Heart-to-heart conversations have stopped. The couple no longer has the desire to say kind words to each other or discuss family problems. Their communication becomes superficial, and gradually leads to family quarrels and scandals;
Omissions, omissions, and silences begin between spouses. And this is done in order to avoid scandals;
Being nearby, each spouse feels that his partner is causing him unmotivated irritation, which can range from mild hostility to rage. And this happens for no apparent reason for dissatisfaction and anger or because of trifles and trifles;
Unconstructive criticism of spouses. It is charged with negative emotions - aggression, anger, malice;
Emotional pressure is aimed at making a person angry, humiliating him or offending him. Often this is done out of revenge for one’s grievances, the cause of which may be jealousy;
Lack of mutual support and inability to reach agreement. Spouses move away and stop coordinating important family issues and everyday tasks with each other. this state of affairs leads to misunderstanding, irritation and scandals;
Reluctance to go home. Spouses are increasingly staying late at work so as not to be near each other;
Family scandals. Conflicts happen in every family. But if the family is on the verge of divorce, quarrels become frequent and protracted. One of the spouses goes to live in another room. Quarrels occur over trifles and are filled with rage and anger;
Lack of desire to have sex, intimate life becomes irregular and rare.

Very often, some women devote their lives to their loved one. But this cannot help maintain a long-term relationship. Lovers should have one common goal. Only in this case is it possible to maintain a happy relationship for a long time.

A strong family, the birth of a child - any common goal, will contribute to the strengthening of love and relationships,

Indifference: definition, features

Indifference is a state of indifference, infantility, a passive attitude towards everything that does not directly concern a person. Indifference is the modern face of evil. Frankly speaking, the appearance is inconspicuous and drab, merging with the general mass, which is its main danger. A distinctive feature of indifference is the mechanism of its spread.

An individual who refuses help sows “seeds”, and the sprouts of indifference appear in the soul of the person who was refused. Chuck Palahniuk wrote about this in his famous work (“no one cared whether he lived or died, and he reciprocated everything”). Indifference, like a pandemic, arises in society and gradually spreads throughout the entire social group. Many witnesses adopt the model of indifferent behavior as the most correct one, because it will not bring problems, and the feeling of guilt will subside on its own over time.

Why do people become indifferent to each other?

As sad as it may be, betrayals do happen in the lives of two people - and, alas, not so rarely.
Of course, such an event usually brings little joy to anyone (except, perhaps, the one who cheats - and even then not always). The deceived half often does not understand why this happened and feels like a victim, while the “active” participant is tormented by pangs of conscience and at the same time, deep down in his soul, tries to justify himself to himself. Why do such situations arise? Why, after some time, do two loving people (or one of them) become indifferent to each other and cause pain to their loved one?.. Many of us are looking for answers to these questions. Someone finds it, someone gets tired of looking... Why do people become indifferent to each other? The search for another object “on the side” for love or sex is usually due to a certain number of reasons. Psychologists say that there is no one person to blame for betrayal - there are always two people to blame. If one person is looking for some kind of sensation or relationship outside the home, it means that he is not receiving enough of this something from his husband or wife. It can be anything: lack of attention, affection, sex, kindness, understanding, common interests... As a rule, when you have such a close friend or girlfriend, your partner thinks that it was he, the scoundrel, who broke up your happy family . This is not true - something else broke the happy family. A new hobby is a consequence, not a cause. The reason usually lies much deeper. For example, one couple I know had the following situation: despite the fact that they had been married not very long (5 years), the girl developed a hobby - a doctor, whom she went to for some reason. that of female malaise. This passion turned out to be mutual, and the result was her complete love for a respectable doctor and discord with her husband. Why did it happen so? And the reason, as it turned out, does not lie so deep: her husband has a somewhat exaggerated attitude towards the concept of “family life”. He doesn't want to share his wife with anyone. She doesn’t go to meetings with her friends, he doesn’t meet with friends - after all, he “didn’t get married to run around with friends.” In addition, this girl is from a fairly wealthy family, while the young man, on the contrary, is from a poor family. Throughout his childhood, he was taught that being wealthy is bad, that those who have money did not earn it, but stole it. Thus, the guy is tormented by an inferiority complex - he feels out of place, although he loves his wife very much. Cheating is not a cause, but a consequence. As a result of these simple reasons, a situation arose when the two-room apartment began to feel in some kind of vacuum, feeling at the same time, some of the husband’s anger towards her wealthy relatives. In this case, the doctor who met on her way was not at all an accident. This is a legitimate outcome - she found the opportunity to breathe fresh air with a person who does not put pressure and does not reproach her. Unfortunately, not everyone can understand such combinations, however, having understood, something can be changed and corrected. After all, you once loved each other and were happy. Everything can be returned - you just have to make an effort on yourself and try to understand each other’s needs. people indifference reasons relationships everything

Advice from a psychologist on how to deal with apathy

I want you to understand: if apathy is a symptom of mental illness, then a psychologist is powerless and a doctor’s consultation is required. But if it is seasonal or after overwork, stress, problems in your personal life and at work, then you are welcome here for advice or to a psychologist for a consultation.

For independent exit

If you are not yet mired in the swamp of complete apathy, then you can easily cope with this condition on your own.

Accept your condition

When your vital battery runs out, your “Ost” plans have failed, it’s time to throw away all your perfectionism and finally admit that you are not made of iron! And there is no need to justify yourself, “gathering your will into a fist”, “turning on” the remnants of perfectionism will not help.

At this time, the best thing to do is to admit that you have this condition. And yes, it’s difficult for you to even turn off the alarm. And you are not lazy, not unscrupulous, not a couch potato. You are a person who is exhausted, who needs a reboot, who needs to recharge the battery. When you understand this, then you can practice self-help.

Analysis

Determine what exactly preceded your apathy. By identifying the reasons, you can at least hypothetically change the situation. For example, you are put into an unemotional state by constant lack of sleep. When you understand this, you will decide to go to bed not at 03.00, but at least at 23.00–00.00, then you will be able to sleep until the morning. And over time, apathy will go somewhere.

Find the positives

A positive attitude will help overcome apathy. When you realize that not only you feel bad now, but some people feel even worse, then you will somehow want to make plans.

For example, I live in the city. Sometimes I mutter that something is missing, that I don’t have time to do something. And when I come to visit my relatives in the village, I realize that everything is still in order! And somehow life becomes more joyful, emotionlessness goes away. And speaking of the village, we smoothly move on to the next piece of advice.

Get busy

Better for loved ones. Occupational therapy is prescribed even for the most complex patients with mental illness. As it was said earlier: “Labor made a man out of a monkey.”

Well, we will not go into details of the theory of evolution, I will only say from my professional and life experience: when a person is busy with something, even if it is insignificant, he has a goal, and this is the path to getting rid of apathy. Even when there seems to be nothing to do, look for ideas on what to do so as not to become sour and not withdraw into yourself.

Get fit

Exercising helps not only improve your figure, but also your mind. When a person does some exercises and leads an active lifestyle, signs of apathy are detected less frequently.

You may now object and say: “Nothing like that, many athletes are prone to this condition!” Here the matter is different. Often in sports a person works to the point of exhaustion, exercising to the extreme point of endurance. When a career ends, physical and moral exhaustion is accompanied by a feeling of uselessness, emptiness and hopelessness. And these are reasons not only for apathy.

So, by exercising to the best of your ability, you circulate blood throughout the body, which is beneficial for it, and you discipline yourself. And this already means that you care.

Travel

How beautiful it is on the seashore in winter... And how cool it is to watch the waterfalls... It’s breathtaking at the top of even a small slide 30 meters high... And where is the big zoo in this unfamiliar city?.. Wow, what a cool slide in this water park!

Traveling will awaken your emotions, you will want to visit and then remember all the places you have been to. Traveling with a group is especially impressive. Together we experience all the troubles of the trip more joyfully and experience positive emotions more powerfully. Where's the apathy?

Communicate

Try to communicate more with different people. Man is a social being. And it is logical that in the absence of communication, indifference, isolation and unemotionality appear.

But here you need to know when to stop: if you are physically or mentally exhausted, it is better to sleep and take time for yourself, rather than communicate.

Control your diet and nutrition

I already wrote above that this condition occurs even from an unbalanced diet, when there are not enough vitamins and some minerals. Pay attention to what you eat. For several weeks, try to eat “live” foods - those that cannot be cooked: salads, fruits, and separately vegetables.

Do something unrealistic

Sometimes, in order to “turn on” your psyche and will, you need to do something unusual. For example, jump with a parachute, ski down a hill, perform a song in the square, or something else that will cause an adrenaline rush. This will help you change your life for the better.

Please note that these are the main points that you can do if you have apathy caused by psychological reasons. This is first aid. But if these measures do not help, you need to contact a specialist. You may even need vitamin and medicinal support during the first couple of months. For example, I once took a regular vitamin complex after stress, and it really helped!

How to help another person

If you are concerned about the condition of your loved one, try to help him with such actions.

Talk

Find out from your friend the reasons for his indifferent state. This will help bring a person out of apathy. Talk about how this state began and how he sees a way out of it.

Bring some “pie”

You can help a person with apathy from a distance with a little cake. What I mean? In a depressed state, a person needs a charge that affects the pleasure center. It is located in the basal ganglia of the forebrain. So this center is extremely important for any person, especially for the depressed. It is here that motivation, pleasure and replenishment of a person’s energy are reinforced.

If it is stimulated, apathy will be replaced by a state of happiness and motivation for life. The production of pleasure hormones is stimulated by bananas, nuts, red fish, wine, pasta, and chocolate cakes!

Avoid moralizing

Morals and verbal “help to live” will have no effect on an apathetic friend. Therefore, do not teach your friend how to live, help him financially! This phrase is relevant here. Instead of saying pompous phrases, go with him to the park, go roller skating, rides, take a break from watching a comedy.

Consult a competent specialist

I don’t want to diminish your merits at all, but if the apathy of a loved one is a symptom of a disease, you should consult a specialist. Sometimes only your insistence on visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist can bring a person out of apathy.

Walking in the sun

Lack of vitamin D very often causes apathetic behavior. So don’t be lazy and try to pull your friend into the sun.

Well, in general, your sincere attention and constant communication can really heal your loved one. Here you decide whether you are ready to devote some time to saving this person.

Causes of mental callousness and indifference

Indifference is not a disease, so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each indifferent person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others; each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some main reasons why people are indifferent:

Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that answer the question of why people have become indifferent.

“People, remain indifferent!” (psychopath's motto)

Experts in the field of psychiatry often replace the word “indifference” with the medical terms “apathy” and “detachment.”
Stoic calm, characteristic of an indifferent person, is considered by official medicine to be a serious mental disorder. Apathy is a psychological disorder that affects absolutely everyone, both the lucky and the unlucky. It can occur in any person, regardless of his psychological and financial viability. Some doctors call boredom the main cause of apathy, and therefore indifference. It is boredom, a group of experts believes, that even the happiest families who have the job of their dreams and raise talented and obedient children are not immune to.

Fatigue, both emotional and physical, can also cause the disease. An indifferent person often suffers from attacks of indifference (apathy), he is depressed, does not make friends and does not make plans. His own life seems dull and useless to him.

The situation can turn a cheerful and sociable person into an indifferent and apathetic one:

when he is under tension for a long time;

does not have the opportunity to rest;

experienced the death of loved ones or dismissal from work;

when an indifferent person, adapting worse than others in society, is ashamed of his natural needs;

suffers from misunderstanding from others;

is under pressure from the person on whom he depends;

when he takes hormonal drugs.

Psychologists advise looking for the reasons for indifference in the patient’s inner world - where all his grievances and desires “live”. Psychology experts view indifference as a way to protect yourself from stress and negativity.

Many people suffering from psychological disorders deliberately put on a “mask” of indifference in the hope of closing themselves off from the hostile world that has rejected them for so long.