Every day we are surrounded by many people, some we meet on the way to work, some are our neighbors, some are relatives or friends, and all these people are so different and dissimilar from each other, each has their own character and temperament. , as well as features of social activity. There are extroverts who are open to communication and introverts who are more comfortable being alone with themselves, but there are also closed people who became so not because of their temperament, but for some special reasons. In this article we will look at what human isolation is, how it manifests itself, and why it arises. You will also know how you can overcome your isolation.
Appearance Features
A closed person in most cases is distinguished by thinness rather than fullness and density. His face is elongated, his head is often ovoid in shape, his nose is straight, his profile is “angular” (observed due to some shortening of the chin). The relationship between a long face, a thin figure and introversion is quite high. However, such a combination does not always indicate closedness. Overweight people also belong to the category of schizoids, but much less frequently.
Method #5: Visualize Success
How to stop being a closed person? Get rid of your fears. Surely, every time you go out in public, you draw terrible pictures in your mind: how someone criticized or ridiculed you, how you stumbled during a report, how you stumbled in front of everyone... But why tune in to the negative? After all, it’s better to play out a positive scenario in your head. This will give you confidence and allow you to behave more relaxed.
Basic values, interests
The inner world is the main wealth of introverts. The character traits of schizoids are such that they are constantly immersed in themselves. The opposite is hyperthymic, open to everything that happens around them. Closed people value their inner world very much, but they often do not care about the external world, since it seems rougher and more primitive than their own fantasies, dreams, and thoughts.
The eminent German psychologist and physician Kretschmer compared introverts to Roman villas, whose facades are very simple, the windows are closed, and rich feasts take place inside. Thanks to this colorful metaphor, he emphasized that the difference between the dull appearance of representatives of this character and their inner world is extremely great. In contrast to hyperthymia, an uncommunicative person is characterized by restraint and secrecy. It is impossible to tell from him what “feasts” are taking place in his soul.
Method #2: Feel Unique
Stop belittling your strengths and comparing yourself to others. This is a sure way to stop being closed off. Set aside an hour for self-reflection. Take a piece of paper and write down all the good things you think about yourself. Write without hesitation, without underestimating your merits. Now take a bright marker in your hands and highlight those characteristics that distinguish you from others. Surely you have something to be proud of. Look at this list every time you lose confidence in yourself.
Communication
A closed person in a group generally stays aloof and prefers to remain silent. His contacts are usually limited to a small circle of friends and relatives. Such people are reluctant to talk about themselves, and you can often hear that information has to be literally “pulled out of them with pincers.”
It is not surprising that schizoid people have difficulty communicating. The secrecy is explained by the reluctance to share one’s own experiences. Introverts do not feel the need to contact the outside world, because they are quite comfortable alone with themselves. As one poet put it, they seek to “wrap themselves in the silk of their soul.” On the other hand, communication really poses a particular difficulty for them, since schizoids feel awkward and inept in the process of communication.
Kretschmer cited another vivid metaphor, where he compared a closed individual with a ciliate, cautiously approaching an unfamiliar object and observing it from behind half-lowered cilia, hesitantly extending its tentacles, and then immediately withdrawing them.
Despite the natural desire to isolate themselves, a shy person sometimes suffers from a lack of communication. This is especially common in childhood and adolescence.
Definition of the concept
Closedness is a negative psychological trait of an individual, expressed in the limitation of his communication with people. A closed person experiences serious difficulties at work, it is difficult for him to make new acquaintances, and it is difficult for him to make contact.
According to statistics, approximately 60% of the total population of our planet is familiar with isolation. In most cases, it is observed in childhood.
- For some, isolation may be periodic in nature - it manifests itself in the presence of certain circumstances. There will be situational closure here.
- For others, it may be permanent. In this case, it could be triggered either by psychological factors or by a disease, a sign of which is an internal concentration on one’s personality.
Emotional background
The experiences of closed people are unique and sometimes seem paradoxical to others. On the one hand, introverts are distinguished by restraint and coldness, on the other hand, they are vulnerable and emotional. Schizoids show an acute reaction to everything that affects their own values. Often this is a spiritual response to injustice, rudeness, disorder.
Currently, the so-called emotional intelligence is being actively discussed. One of its signs is understanding the feelings and moods of others. This is a trait that many introverts cannot boast of. Closed people, of course, suspect that certain feelings are raging within you, but they must be informed about this. They rely on what is said, while not paying attention to intonation and facial expression.
Live in the moment
CONTENT:
According to psychologists, isolation is not so much a property of nature as a cocktail of shame and fear of rejection. There are much fewer naturally timid people than those who have had negative experiences in a group: at school, institute or section. As a rule, in the past, shy and reserved people have had a conflict with a group of peers, which at best resulted in ridicule, and in the worst case – boycott and fights.
Celebrities are no exception: for example, successful beautiful actress Jessica Alba was teased at school because of her accent, clumsiness and heavy jaw. Rihanna, who draws crowds of fans of her work, was attacked by her peers for the color of her skin, and the winner of 9 Grammy awards, Justin Timberlake, even fought with classmates, not wanting to share their passion for football. The list goes on for a long time. It is important to note that many “stars” believe that it was the stress they experienced in childhood that strengthened their character and helped them move towards their cherished goal.
Of course, everyone is different, and not everyone is ready to open friendly arms after being an outcast. However, don't focus on the bad memories: plenty of people have gone through the same thing.
Features of lifestyle, attitudes, activities
The inner world of introverts is orderly, and they expect the same from the outer world. Their way of thinking and internal organization are reflected in all their actions. For example, they find it easy to accept rules and follow them. They achieve success in the professional field where they are prescribed to act in a certain way. Any deviation from the norm causes irritation in introverts.
At the same time, serious contradictions often arise at work. The desire of a schizoid to always follow instructions can result in accusations of formalism. At the same time, the above qualities of introverts are simply irreplaceable, for example, in military affairs or in financial management.
The psychology of behavior of a person who is closed in on himself turns an argument with him into an unbearable process. And all because the introvert is captive to plans, schemes, forms, words. This is reflected in the fact that mental constructs and theories are more convincing and valuable to him than specific life facts. For this reason, schizoids often find themselves in opposition, preferring not to mix with fashion, the opinions of others, or mass movements. Keeping their distance is not difficult for them. Introverts are often surrounded by an atmosphere of mystery; they are considered originals with a touch of aristocracy.
Bottom line
Shyness can be overcome - add some effort to your desire and soon you will see a positive result!
Be active, decisive and open to people. You can overcome shyness, self-consciousness, and lack of self-confidence only through painstaking work on yourself, positive thinking, and getting rid of fears or complexes. Fight your weaknesses, prejudices, negativity - and you will definitely become a successful, attractive person!
In itself
Usually people withdraw into themselves because of the fear of hearing criticism of themselves, the fear of looking stupid in the eyes of others, of exposing themselves to ridicule, and so on. In other words, it is easier for such individuals to remain on the sidelines than to attract attention to themselves once again. Suddenly the reaction will be negative.
Social phobes live with a constant feeling that those around them will reject them.
Some are afraid not so much of the reaction to their actions, but of the fact that people will notice the inner turmoil.
So some bad thoughts cause even more negative emotions. It turns out to be a vicious circle. In a number of special cases, shy individuals are afraid to speak in public, eat in public places, walk down the street when people are looking at them, etc. Often, such a psychological disorder is associated with problems with self-esteem and a pessimistic view of reality. Hence the distorted idea of oneself, society, life in general and one’s place in this world.
Perhaps the roots of the problem should be sought in childhood experiences - constant criticism from parents, friends or relatives.
Psychology of schizoid children
These inhospitable and gloomy representatives of the younger generation react very weakly or not at all to criticism from adults. They prefer to avoid large companies and noisy games. Due to a lack of interest, problems with academic performance may occur. At the same time, the withdrawn child behaves in such a way as if he is constantly waiting for some kind of trick from those around him. As a rule, children of the schizoid type are distinguished by a strong attachment to their mother and have a hard time being separated from her, even for a short time. This is explained by the manifestation of fear of being forgotten and abandoned.
Some people mistakenly draw an analogy between withdrawn and shy children. At the same time, the former do not want to communicate with others, while the latter, on the contrary, need communication, but do not know how to make contact.
Characteristic manifestations
Loneliness and silence are signs of a closed person
Let's look at what the signs of a closed person are:
- the presence of self-doubt and self-confidence - such an individual remains silent, does not express his opinion out loud, and will never be an initiator or leader;
- a closed person is not talkative, often silent, and when asked questions he answers reservedly, in short phrases;
- such a person is very shy, does not feel the desire to be in the center of everyone's attention;
- such an individual is too serious and behaves passively;
- a feeling of serious difficulties in communicating with society - it is extremely difficult for such a person to achieve success in his personal life and career growth;
A closed personality can be recognized even before communicating with her, by a number of manifestations:
- such a person always has his hands either crossed or in his pockets;
- as a rule, the head is lowered or the gaze is directed downward;
- a reserved person tries to remain unnoticed, will never dress brightly or wear makeup;
- if a forced conversation takes place, he will not look the interlocutor in the eyes.
Where it all begins
The psychology of children of the schizoid type is formed under the influence of many factors. Let's look at them in more detail:
— Subtlety of mental organization and other psychological characteristics of the child. Closedness is especially characteristic of melancholic and phlegmatic people. When communicating with their child, parents should take into account that a positive result can be achieved with a sensitive and attentive attitude. You should not rudely invade his inner world in the hope of re-education. Otherwise, the child will completely withdraw into himself and close himself off.
— Isolation can be caused by conflicts with friends, illness, misunderstanding of peers. In this case, it is important for adults to find out the true reason for the closedness and gently help the child get out of the situation.
— Introverts often grow up in families where one child is raised. In the absence of experience communicating with a sister or brother, forced to play independently, they receive incorrect communicative attitudes, therefore, their ability to communicate develops poorly. In this case, parents are recommended to facilitate the child’s contact with friends.
- Lack of attention. When adults try to free themselves from the child, he begins to turn to them less and less often with his “trivial” problems and questions. As a result, over time, children and parents simply have nothing to talk about; they have no common ground. It is important to take into account that the psychology of behavior of a person who is withdrawn into himself is not formed in one day. Therefore, it is quite natural that parents, for example, after work, devote time to some of their own affairs. Concern about a situation should be shown when it is repeated systematically. It is important to be interested in your child’s problems and listen to him.
- Containment of desires, emotions. Even an adult needs to “let off steam” and share his own experiences. And for a child this desire is even stronger, since every day is filled with discoveries for him. If children understand that their parents are not trying to listen to them, then the process of restraining emotions begins to gain momentum. Such a restriction affects not only the general development of the child, but also his physical health.
- Dissatisfaction with the child’s behavior. The problem of communication in psychology is considered in the aspect of constant censure. At the same time, emotional contact between parents and child disappears. Adults strive to ensure that the child is properly dressed and shod, but pay much less attention to his inner world. The causes of the problem can be very different, and at first glance they are not entirely serious. For example, a child is not the gender you would like, or a child interferes with career advancement. As a result, an inattentive attitude results in aggression, timidity, isolation, and touchiness.
How to get rid of isolation
Communication with people is an important component of modern life
- Understand your feelings. It is important to understand what exactly led you to become isolated. By identifying the reason, you can overcome your shyness.
- Learn to think positively. Stop being critical of your personality.
- Engage in self-development.
- Develop self-confidence. Decide on a hobby. Once you start receiving results from your activities, you will believe in your strength.
- Gradually leave your comfort zone, expand your surroundings.
- If you find it difficult to communicate with people, start with an exercise. Stand in front of a mirror and have a conversation with your reflection, imagining that it is someone else.
- If you cannot cope with isolation on your own, and you realize that this character trait is a problem, then you should seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will be able to identify what exactly influenced the development of isolation. Taking into account your reason, it will determine what type of therapy you need (group trainings, individual sessions, or just lifestyle correction).
Now you know, if a person withdraws into himself, for what reasons this could happen. Remember that closed people have difficulty communicating, they have problems at work, in their personal lives, and even develop somatic diseases. That’s why it’s so important to confront your isolation by developing sociability and confidence.
