Barriers to communication and ways to overcome them. School mediation service as one of the ways to resolve conflict situations. methodological development in psychology on the topic

What types of barriers are there?

The barrier in communication itself is often called an “invisible wall” that arises between partners and prevents them from understanding each other, “seeing” the other as he is, and sometimes even themselves. Barriers can be communicative, that is, related to the exchange of information, perceptual, responsible for perception and understanding, and personal.


Any conversation has the following components: the one who transmits the information, who receives it directly, the communication channel itself with the help of which this process becomes possible. Do you know the game “broken phone”? In this game, participants take turns telling each other a story, for example. In the process of transmitting information, this story can be distorted beyond recognition, when the entire meaning of what the first participant said is lost. Usually the last player in the chain comes up with a completely illogical and confusing option.

It's fun to play around, but if you think about it, how much value are we losing? When the most important thing is distorted, it becomes sad and even scary. So, the difficulties that arise during communication:

Logical barrier

This is the inability to formulate your thoughts, express them more clearly and understandably. Sometimes a person is simply unable to find words and confuses concepts. There is simply no causal-logical connection in his speech, when it becomes completely unclear to the interlocutor what he is saying and why. The monologue can be long and complex, in which interest is lost. In this case, the energy declines and subsequently leads to the fact that he does not make an attempt to listen carefully and rethink what was said.


When everyone puts their own meaning into concepts, sometimes completely opposite to the opinion of their partner. This happens due to the life experience, internal qualities, level of development and lifestyle of each person. And if you do not initially clarify what exactly such a concept means for another, then difficulties may well arise in the process of interaction.

For example, the most banal thing is, what is love? For one woman, its manifestation will be constant confessions, tenderness and romantic gifts, while for another woman it is, oddly enough, jealousy with violence. And then, when communicating on the topic of love, inaccuracies will arise in the dialogue, even to the point of conflict, if both sides do not try to clarify the differences in the internal picture of the world and the meaning put into ordinary and seemingly clear concepts to everyone. It is especially difficult due to microcultures that use jargons and slang in their speech that are clear only to their native speakers.


It occurs due to disturbances in speech technique, when it is too fast, tongue twister, or with peculiarities, as a result of which it becomes difficult to recognize it. Sometimes a large number of parasitic sounds interfere.


When, having received any information, a person attaches more importance to his feelings. Because of this, he misses the real facts and the general meaning of what was said, which makes the interaction process more complicated.

2. Perceptual

They are associated with the perception of each other and the formation of an assessment of another or a situation, as a result of which mutual understanding is established.

  • Aesthetic - if you don’t like the way your interlocutor looks, just his appearance or sloppiness, then this will greatly influence our understanding of him and what he says.
  • There is an evaluation effect , when our opinion about the interlocutor is influenced by previously received negative information, which cancels out the existing opinion about him, even if it is untrue. It is very difficult then to discern the truth and the real character of a person. Everything he says is sometimes devalued and considered a lie.
  • Negative emotions . Has it happened that we read a “bad mood” as an attitude towards us, although in fact the reasons could be completely unrelated to our personality and behavior? For example, the team perceived the new boss as aggressive or “dry.” Although in fact he had difficulties in his family, which is why he was depressed in the first days of work. Or a friend suddenly became less close and attentive to you due to an internal crisis. But you regarded it as misunderstanding and unwillingness to continue the relationship. Because many people take negative emotions personally. Even the rudeness of an unfamiliar salesperson sometimes deeply hurts if you relate it directly to the perception of your personality, ignoring the fact that he does not know you, and is simply in a bad mood because of a previous client who was rude.
  • Social . A significant obstacle to correct perception is also the social status of the interlocutors. When someone is biased towards the opinion of a lower rank, or vice versa, does not evaluate and doubt the words of the leader, considering, by definition, his opinion to be more correct due to fear of disobeying, low self-esteem, etc.


These are personality traits that influence the communication process. Most often they are invisible, but are perceived negatively by others. And if a person notices his differences and difficulties in maintaining a conversation, this often leads to the development of complexes.


We receive information from the outside through the five senses, and each person has one type that predominates. There are auditory learners, they perceive better by hearing, kinesthetic learners - with the help of sensations, and visual learners find it easier to remember what they see. Therefore, when speaking between representatives of different modalities, difficulties may arise.

Fear of contact

The very thought of having to start a conversation with a stranger causes a lot of anxiety, which will subsequently prevent you from formulating your thoughts, and will subsequently only strengthen your complexes.

Expectation of misunderstanding

A person, based on previous traumatic experience, begins to anticipate events, that is, he becomes convinced in advance that he will not be understood. Such forecasting subsequently makes it difficult to adequately assess the situation. This is because fixation on one’s beliefs prevents one from seeing the real situation.

Have you noticed how sometimes people actively argue and are so carried away by their idea that they do not notice that they are talking about the same thing?

Unwillingness to listen and hear

That is, when a person relies only on his judgments, defends them and cannot adapt to changes. This is a very serious obstacle to interpersonal communication. Because the inability to listen to other people, the reluctance to recognize and get to know them will, over time, lead to a deterioration in even the closest relationships and a reluctance to communicate.

Projection or transference

These are types of barriers and psychological defenses. When a person attributes to another qualities or emotions that he himself experiences and has. Sometimes the opposite happens: he does not accept something in himself, for example, aggressiveness, and then he often notices it in others, but denies its presence in himself. But a kind and sympathetic person is not able to notice the realities of the world, that others can betray, deceive and be cruel to him, living, as they say, with “rose-colored glasses”.

Sometimes someone may resemble in appearance or type of behavior some acquaintance or relative. Then feelings that are not at all connected with him in the present will be transferred to him. For example, a boss outwardly reminds an employee of an oppressive father, although in reality he is very loyal and supportive. But every time she will feel fear in his presence and expect that now he will swear and criticize her work.


It occurs very often in everyday life between people of different generations. I wrote in an article about the theory of generations. It is the cause of misunderstanding and conflicts in the system of parent-child relationships, and the biased perception of young employees who may be more developed, but are devalued due to lack of experience.

Primacy effect

You've heard that the first opinion is the most correct? And sometimes, because of this belief, a person will be ready to refute what happens next, adhering to judgments of the first impression. This makes it very difficult to establish contact, because the interlocutor will constantly have to come across an already created image, where there will be no place for the real one and he will have to spend maximum effort to overcome it.

The desire to make a premature conclusion about the identity of another

This happens for various reasons, most often due to the fear of being disappointed or “pleasing your narcissistic part.” That is, when a person believes that he knows a lot of things and understands people well. For example, a woman who really wants a family and meets a man she likes, at the very first meeting she understands that she agrees to live her life with him. Just because, for some reason, he reminded her of a man who is capable of loving and caring for his family.

Not knowing anything really about him, and then subsequently will be disappointed, or still ignore situations in which he does not correspond to the prematurely created image.

Nature of the Perception Barrier

Barriers of perception are a specific, one might say physical threshold, an obstacle that represents the force of holding a predisposition of perception specific to the current world. For the everyday world, the world of first attention, this is the power of the First Ring of Power, the power of the perceptual predisposition of the first attention.

It is important to understand that the perception barrier

, just like, for example, the everyday world, the essence is the position of the assemblage point.

Staying in any world is conditioned by fixing the assemblage point in a certain position, where the perceiving being deliberately learns the ways of forming images and scanning objects that correspond to the corresponding emanations of the Eagle.

In order to get to another world, it is necessary to deliberately learn to create scanning images in a way corresponding to the emanations of the Eagle of this other world. The existing method of creating them has terrible inertia and conservatism, due to the fact that once the established method of energy exchange is the only one for the creature, and no work is usually done to learn other methods.

The strength of this inertia and conservatism, although it is a help for existence in a certain world, nevertheless does not allow one to move to other modes of perception and manifests itself as a fairly clear barrier when the assemblage point approaches the border areas of the existing perception of the world for one or another awareness.

There are three types of barriers:

1. The barrier separating the first and second attention. 2. Barriers separating the worlds of second attention. 3. Third attention barrier.

How to determine?

During verbal communication, in addition to the internal feeling that something wrong is happening and you or you are not understood, there are also non-verbal signs by which you can also notice the presence of difficulties. To understand them better, I recommend reading this article.

  • Facial expressions. If your partner's face is tense or he expresses conflicting emotions. That is, a smile resembles a grin, because with sincerity, small wrinkles, the so-called “crow’s feet,” appear in the corners of the eyes.
  • Pose. A closed pose, when legs or arms are crossed, a person completely turns away from you or demonstrates excessive relaxation - beacons that you should think about what is happening.
  • Gestures. When there are sudden, too fast movements, or your hands are clenched into fists, hidden under the table, think about whether you should suddenly take a break or change tactics.
  • Sight. It can be empty, that is, absent, they look at you as if through you. Too long, or vice versa, “running”.

Difficulties in communication and life situation

However, everything depends not only on the personality and character of a person. There are situations in which almost all of us become uncomfortable. This is reflected in all our behavior, including communication with other people. In this case, the barrier is the situation that caused discomfort and its characteristics.

Finding yourself in such circumstances, all participants in communication feel uncomfortable. Some people are aware of this to a greater extent, and others to a lesser extent. At the same time, they do not just feel it - by accident or on purpose they prevent each other from satisfying their desires and achieving the goals of communication. As a result of this, everyone is worried, angry, does not understand each other, and is generally tense. Most often this happens in situations of restriction, refusal, blame and insult (which, in general, is not surprising).

On the one hand, collective memory takes its toll. Humanity in general and the inhabitants of Russia in particular have repeatedly experienced suppression, repression, war, and famine. Therefore, insults, accusations, restrictions and refusals are very clearly imprinted in the minds of people, who subsequently use them more and more often to resolve conflicts, overcome obstacles, gain power and even seek happiness. This is becoming a typical way for an entire nation to react, globally speaking.

On the other hand, having such a negative memory becomes unnecessary when we have such a rich culture of aggression. Probably, each of you will agree that in modern society a lot of attention is paid to aggression. All kinds of media are especially guilty of this - television, newspapers, magazines, the Internet, advertising companies. The culture of aggression is also becoming increasingly popular due to some features of our life: overcrowding in schools, hospitals and prisons, high unemployment, low qualifications of people working with the population, low salaries and lack of career prospects, corruption, poor quality of government and much more, about which you know firsthand. You all face this and know that these situations are always fraught with barriers to communication.

How to overcome?

I described in detail the main ways in which it is possible to establish communication in an article on the development of communication skills. Here I will add a little directly about how to overcome the obstacles that have arisen.

  1. Don't be afraid to be why. If something is not entirely clear or illogical to you, ask a question. Remember, everyone has different concepts of the simplest things? Also keep track of how easy you are to understand. If you formulate overly complex sentences, just think about why you need to be confusing and difficult for others to understand? What does this give you? Please clarify whether you are understood at the moment? When asking questions, add that you want to hear him correctly, so you ask again.
  2. If semantics and slang are different, use the same words and expressions; this technique will help to establish contact and win you over.
  3. If you notice obstacles on the part of your interlocutor, use the active listening technique, which I wrote about in this article.
  4. Train your empathy and learn to accept otherness. For many, it is important to simply feel support and acceptance, and not advice or recommendations for action. The ability to empathize and put yourself in the place of another greatly simplifies the process of interaction. Respect the opinion of another person, it has the right to be, because in the same situation everyone has their own truth.
  5. Don't expect much from your partners, and also allow yourself to be yourself. After all, the fear of not meeting expectations provokes anger and anxiety, which subsequently causes disappointment, and all these feelings do not at all contribute to lively and close relationships.
  6. When receiving information, one should sometimes make distinctions, that is, separate emotions from facts, leaving emotions and evaluation aside, then it is possible to achieve objectivity and a correct interpretation of what was said.
  7. Regarding modality, address your partner depending on his type, for example: “listen”, “look”, “do you feel?”. It’s not difficult to understand his affiliation, just listen carefully to what words he uses most often in his speech and what he pays more attention to.

Overcoming (destruction) of the barrier of perception

Overcoming the barrier of perception

, like the vision
of the barrier
, is the position of the assemblage point (located close to the place without a doubt). This is the last of the tasks of managing awareness on the warrior's path, without which everything that the magician's student has learned is worthless.

This task consists of independently shifting your assemblage point and tuning another large band of emanations, assembling another world, which, in fact, is prevented by the barrier of perception, which personifies the power of the existing attunement.

There are two ways to overcome the barrier of perception - only with the energy body, or the dream body, and completely, including the physical body.

Of course, at first only the first method is practiced, but the task is to complete it completely.

This requires:

1. Have a sufficient amount of personal power - to tune into another band of emanations it requires significantly more than is required to tune the ordinary world. 2. To have mature Sobriety, poise, a penchant for inquiry and understanding, generated by an impeccable lifestyle, which should become an inner strength. 3. Lose the human form, and thereby free all the bindings of the assemblage point from the attunement power of the First Ring of Power. 4. Cause the intention to move the assemblage point to a new position and hold it there - this begins with a command given to oneself. The command is then repeated until it becomes an Eagle command. 5. Carry out the new attunement in a very peaceful, quiet and unnoticeable way, starting from a position of heightened awareness, in which the effect of the First Ring of Power is extremely weakened. 6. The moment the warrior achieves inner silence, the barrier is destroyed and his assemblage point moves.

These are just some of the aspects required of a warrior, the result of a lifetime of practice.

To help break down barriers of perception, magicians use:

1. Earth push. Earth consciousness can give us the impetus to attune other great ranges of emanations, and the power of this new attunement causes this world to disappear. 2. Recollection of previously completed journeys beyond parallel lines with the help of the nagual or more capable colleagues from the group. 3. Places of power, cracks between worlds, certain places on the planet where the barrier of perception seems to become thinner. 4. Predawn or morning twilight. Then I felt a weak push, as if I had torn a paper barrier, and found myself face to face with a luminous world.

How to understand that a barrier has appeared in communication?

Of course, being inside the situation, this is not difficult to do. In the process of difficult communication, you experience discomfort, distrust of your partner, you cannot open up, show emotions, you do not know what to say - in general, such communication cannot be called easy. However, if you need to assess the presence of psychological barriers, then knowledge of how people behave in situations of difficult communication will be very useful.

Our non-verbal language acts as such an external indicator. Hostility, craving for power and dominance, insincerity and the desire to stand out are especially clearly manifested in it. As we already wrote above, our subject who is unsuccessful in communication can experience this whole gamut of feelings and desires. In what specific signs are all its negative traits manifested?

  1. First is eye contact. In the case of communication barriers, they are usually rare, low-intensity, and sometimes completely absent. Glances at the partner may be present (sometimes even prolonged), but they all occur at the moment of active communication - especially when the interlocutor expresses something unpleasant, but important. Moreover, if the interlocutor begins to look away, sensing something is wrong, our “subject” will immediately try to pretend to be a sweetheart and look into them - but this look will actually be cold and hard.
  2. Secondly, it's posture. Having felt difficulties in communication, people often take either unnatural, angular and tense postures, or, on the contrary, inadequately relaxed, sometimes even slack. Very often the body position is closed (crossed arms, legs, body turns away from the interlocutor) or “elevated” (the desire to sit higher, look down at the interlocutor).
  3. Thirdly, gestures. As a rule, they are sharp and intense, which is also unnatural. There is a clearly expressed desire to hide your hands (for example, in your pockets or behind your back), clench your hands into fists, “grab” or take up more space for yourself through posture and gestures. This may be interspersed with private touching of oneself and another.
  4. Fourthly, facial expressions. The face often expresses tension. The facial expressions are strange - for example, the mouth can smile, but the eyes remain motionless. In general, the face is characterized by expressions that demonstrate distrust and hostility towards the interlocutor, as well as contempt and anger.

Of course, a person experiencing communication difficulties does not always behave this way. These are only the most typical and striking markers, and from them one can conclude not only that there are barriers to interaction, but also about the interlocutors themselves - about their attitude towards each other and about their goals and guidelines in communication.

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